Eyes Wide Open
Disclaimer: If you recognize it, it's not mine. This story is on an AU track.
Chapter 6: Aftermath
"Where's the Lieutenant?" Amaro asked his partner in an undertone as she walked into the squad room.
"Bathroom," Olivia replied, knowing he meant Alex. "She said she felt sick. What is it?" She recognized the look on his face, and it heralded trouble.
He gestured for her to follow him out into the hallway. "We may have a small problem," he told her once they were out of the squad room. "The crime scene - I could smell the same lotion we found on the Sebastian victims all over it."
"I know." Olivia had clearly smelled it on Alex when she was in the car. "You thinking it's more than a coincidence?"
"That's not the problem I meant," he admitted. "I was thinking the same thing, but it doesn't make sense. It doesn't match the MO. So I - I asked Goren to take a look at the file. I mean, he would know if anyone would, right? But he just - he just freaked out. I can't explain -"
"Oh, my God," Olivia said softly. Seeing the look on her partner's face, she quickly rushed to reassure him. "It's not you, Nick. This is my fault, I got so caught up in dealing with this that I forgot he'd be here."
"What's going on?"
"Later," she promised quickly. "Where is he?"
"Pacing the conference room, last I saw. He damn near put his fist through the wall, too. Whatever this is, it's really getting to him."
The conference room door was open when Olivia got there and the room was empty. Almost before she could even ask herself where she might have gone, her mind provided a likely answer, and she turned and walked towards the bathrooms.
Sure enough, she found him there, leaning against the wall next to the women's bathroom door, looking vaguely sick himself. He turned his head at the sound of her footsteps, and she saw the unshed tears glimmering in his eyes.
Before either of them had the chance to speak, the bathroom door creaked open and Alex emerged, looking pale but determined. She started to walk towards Olivia but her steps faltered when she saw who else was standing there.
All of a sudden, it was as though she had forgotten how to breathe. She should have realized Bobby would be here, she knew. She'd picked him up enough times. But she hadn't been able to think much past what was happening with her own body. She looked from him to Olivia in a panic. What do I do now? How could she tell him?
Another look into Bobby's eyes provided the answer. She could see the deep lines of concern in his face and the tears he wouldn't let fall. He knows. How does he know? In the next moment, as he opened his arms to her, she decided it didn't matter. She closed the small distance between them, stepping into his outstretched arms, and he wrapped her up in a warm embrace.
"I'm here, Alex," he whispered into her hair. "It's okay. You're safe now."
Alex realized suddenly that she was crying, sobbing into Bobby's broad chest. She hadn't been aware of when she'd started and now she couldn't stop. "Bobby," she gasped, "Bobby, I'm sorry."
"Don't be," he soothed, and they both knew he was talking about more than the crying. "It isn't your fault."
Olivia turned to give the pair a little privacy, only to see that a small crowd had formed nearby, watching in astonishment as the blonde Lieutenant cried in her former partner's arms. She immediately felt a surge of anger on her friend's behalf. It was bad enough what she'd had to go through without the humiliation of having her emotional state become a public spectacle.
She turned a glare on the assembled crowd. "Don't you guys have work to do?"
A series of incomprehensible mumbles and averted eyes met her question.
"Then get to it," she snapped. Since Murphy had taken command, she had rarely used the power that came with her Sergeant's rank, but this situation seemed to warrant it. "Now."
The crowd quickly scattered; one advantage of making scarce use of that power was that it packed a serious punch when she did choose to use it. Olivia turned back to Alex, who had stopped sobbing and was forcing a thin layer of composure back on herself as she stepped back from Bobby.
"I'm ready," Alex said, unprompted.
"You sure?" Olivia asked gently.
Alex nodded. "Let's - let's just get this over with."
Olivia walked the blonde to the interview room, aware the entire time of Bobby walking close behind them. She stopped him gently when they reached the door. "I think it might be better if I talk to Alex alone."
"Go on," Alex said when he hesitated. "I'll be okay."
She sounded less than convinced, and Olivia could see the redoubled concern in Bobby's eyes, but he did step back, allowing Alex and Olivia to proceed into the room alone.
Olivia gestured for Alex to take a seat on the couch. "Can I get you anything? Coffee?"
"No, thank you," Alex replied softly. "I really just want to be done with this."
"Okay." Olivia took a seat in a chair across from the blonde. "So...tell me what happened in the garage."
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It was only after Bobby had put the car into park that he got a good look at the woman sitting next to him, and he instantly realized there was a serious problem. She had been tense and on edge throughout the drive, but now she was sitting straight up, stiff as a board, and her eyes were huge in her pale face.
"Alex?"
Only silence answered him, but he could see that her gaze was darting around, examining every inch of the structure that was perceptible from her seat, and that was the only answer he needed. "Oh, Alex," he whispered, mentally kicking himself for his mistake. How could he have possibly thought that he could expect her to walk through a parking garage as though it was any other day when she'd been violently assaulted in one just hours earlier? "Alex, I'm so sorry. I'll pull the car around front so you can get out -"
"No!" she said so forcefully that he was momentarily taken aback. And even through everything that was swirling around in her mind, she noticed. "I'm sorry," she added quickly.
"Don't be," he insisted. "What do you need, Alex?"
"You're - you're right," she said softly, staring at the dashboard. "This garage - just being in it is making me feel like I can't breathe. But just the idea of being alone right now is even worse." He heard the crack in her voice and knew that she was on the verge of tears. "If I hadn't been alone in the first place, maybe none of this would've happened." She turned to him, and the vulnerable, terrified look in her eyes nearly ripped his heart out. "Just - just stick with me and let's get through here as fast as we can, okay?"
"Of course."
He kept a hand on her shoulder as they walked, just to remind her that he was there, and consequentially he knew barely a third of the way through that she was in trouble.
He gently tapped the shoulder his hand was resting on. "Alex..." Their eyes met, and he knew she knew what he was thinking. "Can I?"
Her gaze dropped to the ground and he could see her cheeks redden, embarrassed that it had come to this, but she nodded. "Okay."
He gently but quickly gathered her tiny body up in his arms. He caught a brief glimpse of her face, eyes closed tight, before she buried her head in his chest, clinging to his jacket as he carried her.
He set her down once they were clear of the garage, standing close by in case her shaky legs couldn't hold her weight. But it appeared he'd underestimated her rather significantly. She did stumble, but before he could even offer help, she steadied herself against the wall and then began to walk resolutely towards the elevators.
Bobby followed, more concerned than reassured by Alex's reaction. The explosion is going to come soon. He knew that her tears in the squad room had only been scratching the surface.
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Bobby's heart broke all over again when he saw Alex step out of the bathroom, clad in a pair of gym shorts and one of his shirts. The outfit covered a lot less of her than the hospital sweats had, and he could clearly see several of the bruises her assailant had left on her body.
"Are you hungry?" he asked softly. "I could make something, or order in..."
"Thanks, but it's okay. I feel more sick than hungry - what else is new?" She tried to force a light tone into her voice, but it only took one look at him to know he wasn't fooled. "Bobby..."
"It's okay, Alex," he said gently. "I'm here for you. You don't have to pretend anything with me."
"I hate this," she whispered. "I really, really hate this."
"I know." One of the first things he had learned about his now-former partner was that she hated losing control, especially of herself. He reached out for her, and she let him take her in his arms, curling up willingly in his lap. "But I'm here...I love you...if you need to...whatever you need to do...it's okay."
"How - how can this be happening?" she asked.
"I don't know," he admitted, feeling helpless. He sensed it was a feeling he'd have to get used to if he was going to help Alex at all.
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Olivia had to blink forcefully to make sure she wasn't seeing things. But no, Bobby Goren really was standing there in the squad room. "I didn't expect you back so soon. We would've made arrangements for you to take some time."
"I know," he assured her. "But...but Alex insisted on going to work today. I'm not doing her or myself any good sitting around my own apartment all day." He met her eyes squarely. "I don't care if I'm technically too close. I want to work this."
Olivia glanced around her colleagues, but no one seemed to be objecting. She even noticed that Nick was nodding slightly. It made sense; he'd been in a similar position a few months earlier when they'd learned about what had happened to Rollins. "Okay," she said finally.
The silence was broken by a chime on Olivia's phone. She glanced at it and then back up at her assembled colleagues. "Lab report came in. DNA from the rape kit matches the DNA found at all the Sebastian murders."
"This doesn't make sense," Nick said immediately. "The DNA is the same, but the MO isn't even close. Sebastian's never done an attack like the one on Eames."
Goren suddenly flinched as if he'd been struck. "We - we assumed he hasn't because one was never reported. But I think - I think he has. Just one, in the middle of his last spree. That missing piece I couldn't quite get -" he broke off abruptly. "I need to talk to Declan. And I need one of you to come with me."
"I'll go," Olivia offered. "But why do you need anyone?"
He met her eyes with such an intensity that it almost scared her. "Because I don't trust myself around him right now."
Sorry this took so long - can I just say I. Hate. Moving. That is all.
No episode references in this chapter except the generic one for Blind Spot - by the way, if you want a hint as to what Goren just realized, I might suggest watching the final scene in that episode. I took my ideas for this part of the arc from a comment he makes in that scene. For anyone who missed it, the reference to what happened to Rollins is a call-back to the previous story in this series, Unreasonable Doubt.
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