Prompt: (Letter to) Open when we can't communicate with each other- for you know who
No, Sunglasses, I didn't know who.
Has this been written? I hope to God not. Apologies if so.
Dear Holly,
I suppose this is the letter you would read if I ever went on some long undercover op and couldn't talk. The very thought of that sounds like torture. I don't know what to say other than - I love you, I will make it back to you alive and I can't wait to see you again. But that won't be long enough a letter so I suppose I'll ramble on a little more.
What do I ramble about.
Have I ever told you how I felt that night at the bar, the night before the whole Ford incident? It's an indelible memory in my mind, you know. The very thought of that night makes me want to kiss you again, just to remind me that you're mine. It was a night of a lot of firsts for me - first time I was lusting after a girl, needless to say. But it was also the first time I pined for someone. And it was such an unusual feeling. I have always been the one pined for. Seeing you with - whoever she was that night - was painful Hol. Sure, I brushed it off as being nauseated seeing Dov and Chloe - but it wasn't that at all. It's such a gut-wrenching feeling Hol - sitting there, kicking back drink after drink, thinking of ways to just be next to you again and knowing extremely well that that was the last thing I could do. What a lot of things my mind came up with - I thought of pouring my drink all over her, thought of bashing her head with a baseball bat, thought of burying her in the woods - I may have given all those scenarios way more thought than necessary. I still remember seeing you laugh with her - and it felt like someone crushing my heart in a vice. I couldn't understand it Hol. I barely knew you then, and you were in no way someone I would like - but there I was - wishing with every bit of my heart that I could be the one making you laugh. I can see why the dork in every rom-com ever feels like they do - there is nothing quite as excruciating as sitting through seeing someone you love be happy with someone else, and there's absolutely nothing that can be done about it. I hope you never felt like that. I don't think you did - being the hot nerd you are.
The next day, when I saw you at the precinct with that blue folder? I wanted to kiss you right there. It took all my constraint to not jump with glee - and play it cool. Well - circumstances helped with that. It was the sweetest feeling ever Hol, seeing you all concerned and waiting to check up on me. You know about the interrogation room, and what followed. I never wanted to leave that interrogation room, and for the first time again - I was scared. Scared that this maybe all I would get. Terrified that it would end badly for me - as it ever does. And I didn't want it to end at all.
So, whenever I can't talk to you - I think of that night at the bar and the interrogation room. And that no matter what - you would be there - standing concerned, clutching a blue folder - ready with the most flimsy lie. After all - that is the dorkiest thing someone's done for me. And for that - I'll never give up, not till I kiss you again.
If you ever repeat any of this to anyone - you will be the one pining for me.
I love you,
Gail.
P.s. I'm thinking of putting up a little plaque in that interrogation room - "This is where Gail Peck lost her cool and kissed this adorkable Pathologist." What do you think?