Prompt: (Letter to) Open when we're fighting (and it's your fault) Golly :)
Dear Holly,
I don't see why this letter exists - according to all the laws of all the universe — this letter just can't exist. How on Earth can I be mad at you and it's your fault. It just can't - it can't exist.
But you're so intent on us writing these letters. I can only think of two reasons why I would be mad at you. One is - I did something stupid and you're mad at me and I'm mad at you for something you said about it. The second is circumstances (for example your amazing friend Boob Job.) The first is something that is probably going to happen a lot. The second is your fault you're going to have to beg for forgiveness in the following ways.
1. If I'm at the precinct - Turn up to the precinct dressed in nothing but a trench coat.
2. If I'm sulking in bed - Turn up in the bedroom dressed in nothing but a trench coat.
3. Cheese puffs are always welcome. Donuts will also do well.
4. If I'm drinking at the Black Penny sulking over it - Turn up to the Black Penny dressed in nothing but a trench coat.
5. If I'm being too sharp and cold and unbearable - you could try to break the ice with a cheesy Star Wars reference. Those always get me.
6. Try not to sleep with my best friend - that would really be appreciated.
7. Buy me shoes. Or weapons. Or BOTH.
8. Both. Always Both.
9. Just let me deal with it at my own pace.
10. Please don't give up on me for anything. I'll come around I swear! I love you Hol, I couldn't stay mad at you for long. After some time after the rage has passed, I'd just be hankering for you to come back. Please do. I promise I will be waiting for you.
Preferably come back dressed in nothing but a trench coat.
Love,
The Best Girlfriend ever who actually wrote this for you.