A/N: First things, first, I own no part of Twilight, which is probably a good thing.

I now present chapter 23 of Static. I remember getting to chapter 23 of Destructive Desire in a year. I was so proud. Kinda Outta Luck, Gods and Monsters, and Cleansing never even had 23 chapters. Blur never came close. Remedium was about 23 chapters long. Static's been up for only a little over 2 months now and it's hit 23 chapters. That's funny to think about. I'm just ripping through this story. It's literally so. fucking. long. But I'm ready. I've been ready. The important question is: are you?

So here's chapter 23. It's heavy on Jacob x Bella shenanigans, and very NSFW. It contains sex. Explicitly. It also features Quil, more insight to Bella's backstory, and foreshadowing.

Enjoy.

XXIII.

you wanna be high for this

Bella and Jacob sat in his garage the next afternoon. It was a lazy Saturday, and the garage thing had become a routine. They'd sit there across from each other and drink sodas and talk about things that didn't really matter. He'd stare at her and they'd kiss from time to time. It was sweet and chaste—but it was boring as hell and they both knew they wanted a little more from each other now.

She crushed her soda can in her hands once it was empty. Then she looked up at Jacob. "Do you wanna go camping?"

He seemed to be surprised. "Uh, sure," he said lamely. "Wanna go next weekend? There's a nice ground over by the beach and—"

"I wanna go tonight," she said affirmatively. "What time is it, six o'clock? We should go—we've got time."

"But I—"

"Do you not have the stuff for it?"

"I do have the stuff for him."

She smiled and stood up, making her way over to him. She straddled him, and he wished those amazing thighs, hardly hidden by her little denim shorts, could be over his shoulders instead. She placed her hands on his firm biceps. Then she tossed her hair over to the side and brought her mouth to his neck, planting gentle kisses on him.

"Then what are we waiting for?" she asked.

After digging around his house for camping materials, they ended up at the campground at First Beach in a matter of minutes. It was relatively busy, so they got a conventional space like everyone else did. It was mostly families here, and Bella hated it, but she played nice.

Night had fallen and everyone else at the campground had gone to sleep. Jacob and Bella were sitting on a bench outside their tent, looking up at the stars. The night wasn't cloudy; she was surprised. And it was silent, but not silent enough for it to be awkward.

"Jake," she whispered.

"Yeah, Bells?" he whispered back.

"Let's go down to the beach."

"Are we even allowed to camp there?"

"Do I look like I care?"

"Bells, I don't think we're allowed to camp over there. That's why we're on a campground."

"You are such a coward sometimes," she said. "What are you so afraid of?"

He didn't have an answer.

She got up and went into the tent. Before he could ask what she was doing, she quickly came out with a sleeping bag.

"I'm gonna go down to the beach," she said. "And you can stay behind and continue being a coward—or something. I don't care."

Now he knew he fucked up. "C'mon, Bells," he said, his voice still low. "Don't be like that."

She shrugged. "You're so afraid of everything, Jake. It's killing me, but it's especially killing you."

"Then let's go," he said. "I'll go with you."

"You don't have to if you don't want to."

"But I want to," he assured her. "And I really want you." Did I just say that? he thought. Shit.

She bit her lip, and then grabbed his hand. With her fingers laced to his, a sleeping bag over her shoulder, and her voice just above a whisper, she led him to his fate, commanding, "Go, go, go, go, go."

And so they went.

She unzipped the sleeping bag and unfolded it, laying it flat onto the sand. Giggling, she laid on her back and Jacob laid on his side, right next to her.

"I don't think it matters if we're allowed to be here or not," she said.

And then it was silent. Totally silent. She looked up at the stars, and he tried to look up at them, too, but he grew bored. He looked over at her instead. When she caught his gaze, she scooted closer to him and kissed him hard and raw. She tasted sweet, like strawberries.

He still didn't know what to do with his hands, but he certainly tried. He touched her breasts over the cloth of her black tank top, over her bra, and she lifted her shirt so he could feel her better. He rolled over to be on top, and she ran her hands along his sculpted back, under his shirt, squeezing at the muscles. She eagerly helped him tug his shirt off, and suddenly, he stopped. He moved his hands away from her breasts and leaned back a little.

"Shit," he muttered.

"What's wrong?"

"Are we really gonna do this right now?"

"Yeah," she said impatiently, trying to tug his shorts down.

He put his hands over hers, stopping her. "It's just that I—"

"You have protection, right?" she asked, her eyes still down at his shorts.

"Yeah, of course."

"Then what's wrong?"

He sighed. "I'm big."

She looked up and smiled. "You make that sound like a curse or something."

"Are you sure you're gonna be able to handle it?"

"I'm pretty sure."

"Well, yeah. But I'm, uh..." He hesitated. He was really good at that.

"What, Jake?" she demanded, clearly annoyed.

"I'm eight-and-a-half inches."

"Why would you lie to my face like that?"

"Wait, what?" he demanded. "You think I'm lying?"

"I'm gonna think that if you don't let me find out for myself, Jacob." Then she took her top off and threw it aside. Soon enough, the rest of her clothes—and his—were somewhere in the sand, and she was staring down at him.

"I'm sorry for accusing you of lying," she said, sincerely apologetic. Even though she had only been with one other guy before Jacob, she knew he was huge.

Jacob smirked. "Really, now?"

"Really." Now she was the shy one. "So, um," she said, "we're gonna have to be methodical about this. Meticulous."

"Right," he said. "Organized."

"Efficient."

"Of course."

Before she did anything else, she leaned over him and reached into the pocket of her discarded denim shorts. She pulled out a dime bag, rolling paper, and a lighter. She quickly but carefully started to roll a joint, totally silent.

Jacob didn't even ask about it; he thought weed itself was gross, but not when a hot, naked girl was doing it right as he was about to bang her. He wasn't an idiot. He felt himself growing harder and harder as she licked the paper to seal the joint. She gave him a mischievous smile when her gaze met his, and he thought he was gonna fucking explode.

With the unlit joint between her lips, she helped him put the condom on. As she was on top, she slowly started to slide herself onto him, and she lit the joint as she went through the motions, the flame slightly illuminating her face. He helped her out by guiding her by the hips.

She inhaled long and hard, flexing against him, and finally exhaled as she was set onto him, the joint between her fingers. "Oh, my God," she moaned with a sigh as the smoke trailed from her mouth.

"You okay?" he asked.

She nodded and tilted her head back, closing her eyes. "Yeah."

Then she started to move her hips, grinding onto him slowly just to get a good feel of him. She took another hit of the joint and passed it down to him; he took a shitty, unproductive hit, clearly inexperienced in regards to weed. He was brand-new to her and all that she was. He worked on finding his rhythm, and she quickly followed.

Bouncing into his lap, she set the joint down next to them after a couple more hits of her own and put her hands down onto his chest, running her fingernails along his abs occasionally. As he continued to guide her hips, she started to moan. For a beginner, he had a good idea of what he was doing—he wasn't that bad. And she was so little, but she was really taking all of him well. They were good together.

"Oh, fuck," she groaned.

"You like that?" he asked.

"Yes," she hissed.

"Tell me you like it, baby."

She leaned forward, kissing at his throat. He took one hand away from her hips and cupped her breast, squeezing hard. She just continued to moan into his skin, not caring how loud she was.

Then he moved his hand from her breast and tugged her hair back—apparently girls liked that. He knew Bella did when she moaned even louder at the force.

"Tell me you like it," he told her again, bucking his hips harder.

"I like it," she whispered.

"Say it again."

"Oh, fuck, Jake, I like it," she cried out. "Don't stop."

She put her lips on his and he moved faster underneath her, keeping one of his hands busy by rubbing her where she needed it, and the other squeezing her ass. She whimpered as she started to tremble. Her muscles were shaky and her core was tight. She brought her own hand down to touch herself, and she was practically screaming.

Jacob kept going, not breaking focus once, and Bella was moaning so loud that they didn't even hear the park ranger approaching the beach. All it took was her to open her eyes once and see the smallest trace of a flashlight before she separated from Jacob immediately.

"What the—?"

She shushed him. "Park ranger," she whispered, grabbing a hold of her belongings.

He quickly got up and started to put his shorts on, but she grabbed those from him. "Hey, let me put those on," he whispered loudly.

She turned to see the park ranger and his flashlight moving closer. His voice got louder, too, as he asked who was there.

Bella just shook her head at Jacob. "We have no time." Then she picked up the sleeping bag and crumpled it up, tossing it over Jacob's shoulder. She grabbed his hand and started running nowhere in particular, just away. He followed.

"Go, go, go, go, go."

They ended up behind a huge driftwood tree, way off from the campground, which was a good thing since they didn't get caught in the end. The park ranger eventually decided that he was way too far behind to even bother chasing them. Jacob and Bella set the blanket down on the sand again, and picked up where they left off.

When they were finished, Bella began to roll another joint. Prepared to light it, she ran her hands along the sleeping bag, searching for the lighter. She felt nothing.

"Looking for your lighter?" Jacob asked.

"Yeah. Help?"

He put on his shorts and helped her look for it, trying to come down from all that had just happened, but they had no such luck. Bella, still naked, let out an exasperated sigh.

"I hate myself," she said.

"What, why?" he asked. "'Cause you left your lighter?"

"'Cause I'm stupid enough to leave it. I'll be right back."

She started to get up, but he grabbed her hand. "Wait," he said. "Are you really gonna risk getting caught again?"

"I'm not gonna get caught," she assured him.

"The guy might still be trying to look for us."

"I just need to go back and get what's mine."

"C'mon, Blue," he said softly. "Stay."

"Why?" She sounded like such an asshole; he was so nice that he didn't deserve it.

"We need sleep," he told her. "You especially need it. You can light up in the morning, but we should just sleep for now."

She considered it, and then said, "Fine. But we're not going back to the campground."

"Wasn't planning on it."

She laid down, and he followed. Wrapping his arm around her and putting his face in her hair, he got comfortable. She pressed her bare backside towards him, arching her back a little as she rubbed against him.

He felt a jolt and then groaned. "Not fair."

Her laugh was breathy. "Sorry."

"I love you," he said.

"That has got to be the biggest mistake you've ever made, Black."

"What? Saying I love you?"

"Yeah."

"Blue, I don't think that's such a mistake."

She bit her lip. "Okay."

And they went to sleep. Nothing was wrong in the world at the moment.

The sun had barely risen when Bella lit up again and Jacob asked her the sweetest question ever. The six words were just normal, everyday words, but the order he put them in and the way he said them made her elastic heart flutter.

"When can I see you again?"

With her head up in the clouds, she realized that he did care about her. About them. He cared so damn much that she wanted to cry because she didn't take it half as seriously as he did.

She took another drag of the joint and kept it in her mouth for a while, to let it take its place in her throat, to never leave. Then it started to creep from a crack in her mouth, and swirled about between her and Jacob's faces.

"Soon," she told him.

"Soon?"

She nodded. "Yeah. Soon. Don't call me, though, okay?"

"Why?"

She smiled. "'Cause I'll call you."

The next day, she called him. She didn't call until about one in the afternoon, but she certainly called. He still hadn't recovered from their camping trip, but she was ready to keep moving.

She drove to La Push without any plans in mind. The best things happened whenever she didn't have plans, but all she knew was that she had her weed and she had Jacob. What else did she really need?

Billy was gone when Bella arrived, having gone to visit Sue, which was perfect. Jacob and Bella were left alone, and they couldn't get enough of each other. Being around her again wasn't going to ease his recovery, but being with Bella wasn't easy for him; it was a challenge, especially since she was going to end up saving him. He could see it already. He was probably crazy, but Bella was teaching him how to live.

How had he been so content living a dull, mediocre life without the presence of Bella Swan? She was all he knew now.

So they were left alone, and he took her to his bedroom. Wordless, they sat down on the bed. She kissed him, and in between kisses, he managed to say, "I had a really good time with you yesterday."

"Me, too," she said, unbuttoning his shorts.

He had a really good time today, too, because when it was all said and done, he felt euphoric. Jacob Black was living in heaven due to Bella Swan. He didn't know what Earth felt like anymore, at least for a little while. He was very much back on Earth when he looked down at his sheets and realized that they'd ruined them.

"Well, shit," he said.

"We need to wash everything," she said. "My clothes are ruined."

"Mine, too."

"Goddamn it."

He threw everything in the laundry as Bella took a shower, and he prayed to any and every God that ever existed that his dad wouldn't come home in the next two hours. It was already two thirty, and Bella wore nothing but one of Jacob's white t-shirts once she got out of the shower. The shirt just barely covered her ass, and it was a wonderful view, but if Billy came home to see any of this, Jacob wouldn't live to have sex with Bella ever again.

Jacob, in nothing but another of his dwindling pairs of shorts, stood in the kitchen with Bella as they made lunch. Her hair was up in a messy bun at the top of her head as she cooked chicken on the stove. She looked so cute he couldn't even believe it. And he tried to focus on boiling pasta correctly, but all he could focus on instead were her breasts, right under his t-shirt. They were just so damn perky and prominent; he couldn't look away.

"Quit staring," she said as she elbowed him. "I'm hungry and not in a mood to waste perfectly good food."

"Sorry, Blue."

The screen door swung open and a voice bellowed, "Ayo, Jake, you in here?" Before Bella and Jacob could do anything, Quil and Embry entered the kitchen.

"Looks like we're just in time," Quil said. "I'm starving." Then he caught a glance of Bella, who had her arms crossed over her chest.

Embry raised his eyebrows. Quil just waved. "Hey, Bella," he said.

She gave a subtle wave back with a small smile. "Hey, Quil."

Jacob pulled Quil towards the back door while Embry awkwardly made conversation with Bella.

"So, uh," Embry began, "what'd you think of that movie we all saw on Friday?"

"It was okay. Nothing special."

"That's true, I guess..."

When Jacob had Quil out of Bella's earshot as they stood in his backyard, he shoved him in the chest. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" he demanded.

"Chill, Jake," Quil said. "I was just dropping by. I do this just about every damn day. You forget or something?"

"Knocking is a thing, you know."

"Sorry, I didn't think I'd walk in on you and Bella fucking."

"We were not—"

"And might I add," Quil interrupted with an impish grin, "she is fiiiiiine. Probably the finest white girl I've ever seen around here. You've gotta be giving her some good dick if she's still with you."

"Don't you have a fifteen-year-old to be fingering?" Jacob asked.

Quil's smile dropped. "One, she's almost sixteen. And two, fuck you."

"Doesn't even matter. I'll sic Leah on you in a hot second."

"You wouldn't."

"Oh, I would."

"You're a real bastard, Jake. What do you want, anyways?"

"Well, since you're here, I kind of need your advice."

"On…?"

"Bella. What the fuck else?"

"Okay, then, shoot."

Jacob sighed. "She smokes weed."

"I know," Quil said. "I sold it to her."

"What do I do?"

"Well, do you like her? Like, really like her?"

I think I fucking love her. "Yeah," he said dumbly.

Quil slapped his hand on Jacob's shoulder. "Then you live with it," he told him with a nod. "It shouldn't really fuck with you guys that much, and you might just like it."

"Thanks, man."

"No problem. Your friendly neighborhood stoner is always here to help."

"Okay, now get the hell out of my house."

With a little more convincing, Quil and Embry finally departed, and Jacob and Bella finally finished making lunch. They sat down to eat at the kitchen table.

They were silent as they ate, and Bella looked up at him. "What are you thinking about?"

"Our first date," he said.

She started to blush. "Oh, God, no."

He laughed. "What?"

"I am still so, so sorry for that."

"It's okay. You just weren't yourself then."

She nodded. "Yeah. Isn't it kind of crazy how that was almost a year ago?"

He thought about it. "You're right. That is kind of crazy."

"Funny how time flies," she said musingly.

"Funny."

The entire next week flew by so fast that neither of them could believe it. Bella and Jacob were completely caught up in each other, and in their time away from Earth, nothing really happened. Life outside of Jacob and Bella—Black and Blue—had paused, waiting for them to return at any given moment.

They spent the next day, Monday, at her house. She had a day off, and spent its entirety with him. The second Charlie had left for work was the second she had called Jacob. The day was something like a routine: sex, breakfast, sex, shower, sex, lunch, sex, shower, nap. And when Charlie came home, Jacob and Billy were invited over for dinner. It was at the dinner table when Bella confirmed she and Jacob were officially dating (though it sounded like they had gone through the stages of courtship, the way she said it), and she could practically see Charlie mentally soar with happiness. She was over Edward. And it was true—they had stopped talking after their interesting phone call.

For the rest of the week, Bella and Jacob fucked everywhere else. He got better at it in no time; by Friday, he could almost keep up with her. On Tuesday, they fucked on the beach again. Wednesday, they fucked in his car, and Thursday, they fucked in Quil's ambiguous pickup truck, the one he kept in the middle of nowhere and hardly drove, where they were nearly caught. Jacob and Bella had laughed it off once they knew they were safe, though. Jacob had called their week of infinite nakedness the "Fucking Olympics," and Bella nearly died of laughter. She was a little high for most of the week, but that didn't do anything but make it better. By Wednesday, he even started to get high with her. He got over his aversion to weed very quickly.

The following Saturday night was date night. Sober, they went to dinner and a movie. They went to the restaurant that they'd gone to on their first date, the burger joint in Forks. He originally planned on taking her to the coffee shop in Port Angeles since it was close to the movies and everything, but Embry worked at the coffee shop now, and Jake didn't really want to run into him. So over dinner in Forks, Jacob said to Bella, "You still haven't told me your story."

She was sober, so she told him—finally. Over burgers and fries and milkshakes, she told him how she had been to every state in the entire country, and how her mother was now happily married to a guy who couldn't accept her depression. She told Jacob how she had been with her ex for a long time, but he hadn't been able to accept her depression, either. She even told Jacob that she had tried to kill herself in the spring of her freshman year—on May thirteenth, to be exact—and that sometimes she still felt guilty that it hadn't worked because her mom and stepfather wouldn't have to invest so much time and money into a broken cause if it did. She told him that she tried to kill herself again right before graduation because she hadn't gotten into Dartmouth, her top college pick and the only school she had even applied to, and now she had no more dreams and no more aspirations. At least, nothing real. She told Jacob that Charlie didn't know about the majority of this, and that was what she thought made them so distant. She told Jacob that she had stopped taking her antidepressants a long time ago, and that she liked to do Valium now, sometimes, and she told him that she hated herself every single day for being like this, but being around him made her feel better. It really did.

And she told him that she was honest, and would be nothing but honest to him.

Then she told him she loved him. She didn't tell him to what extent, but she told him she loved him.

"I love you, Blue," he told her. "So much."

Dinner had been liberating somehow, but the movie was something else. It made her feel like a prisoner.

She immediately regretted letting Jacob into her mind like that. She knew he would run away. She knew that he'd realize that she was more than just tired, dying eyes and semi-deep speeches about living life to its fullest. He'd see the helpless wreck that Edward had seen, and he just might go away because of it, just like Edward had.

But she tried to block it out of her mind during the movie. She soberly focused on loving him the best that she could because he was a good guy and he deserved a good girl. She tried not to think about how fabricated she truly was to him. She was as fake as they came; she was the kind of person she looked down upon. From the start, she had known she could influence Jacob in the way that she had, and she had known exactly what he'd see her as: an escape, or a savior. She had invented herself to be this fake, wild dream girl, and he had fallen for it. Now she was upset because she felt as fake as she had made herself out to be. Her fucked-up logic wouldn't work for her now. She had trapped herself.

With red in her cheeks, swollen lips, and an air of shame, she returned to her house that night silent and regretful.

I never change, she thought, and I never learn.

A/N: I'll update Wednesday.

HS