Chapter 38

Ok, so Captain Bat is still going to write a chapter ok guys! She's just going to give it to me in a few days, so hold your butts! :3 love you babes! And sorry I've been absent, just been a little busy. But enjoy this chapter in Zelda's POV!

Zeldastar blinked hazily as she woke up. Little Nightkit was draped over her paws, snoring silently. She instantly felt a rush of love for the tiny tom. He was all she had at the moment, and he was all she had. The tortoiseshell pressed her nose to his tiny ear, smiling. "Wake up little sweetie," she purred.

The black kit squeaked and yawned. "Zeldastar? That day you heard the screech, I had a nightmare about it," he whimpered. "It was my mother wasn't it?" Zeldastar winced.

"Yes little one. I-I'm sure she isn't hurt though," she answered nervously. The little tom sighed and stumbled out of their nest of burnt twigs and dry moss. Zeldastar followed him, stretching her aching joints. Stupid nest. I haven't had a good night's sleep since…since I slept in my tunnels. Ugh I miss the tunnels! But I have cats to look after! I will not abandon them!

As the leader looked over her clan-mates, a sad smile emerged on her mouth. Berryfoot was snapping at Wolftail, who had been in a sad daze since he couldn't find Foxflame. "Berryfoot! Instead of snapping at your deputy, why don't you take that aggression and practice your battle moves," Zeldastar hissed, green eyes narrowed. The cream she-cat hissed.

"As is he still deserves the title as deputy! Our Clan is shattered! I bet half of them are dead!" she half growled-half wailed. Anger boiled inside the tortoiseshell.

"Do not speak about our fallen clan-mates in such disrespect!" she spat. "I understand you lost your son, and I'm very, very upset! Thornlight was an amazing warrior, and will continue to be in Starclan! So never, never speak in such disrespect of your fallen, or breathing clan-mates again," she snapped.

Berryfoot let out a silent wail of grief for her son, and dipped her head in apology. "I-I'm sorry Zeldastar. But until you loose a kit, you will never, ever know the true pain. And Starclan bless you never have to," she whispered, bitterness seeping through her grief-stricken voice. Zeldastar let out a shaky breath, taking in the she-cat's words.

The leader eyed Nightkit, and suddenly she knew the pain Berryfoot described. If she ever lost Nightkit, the pain would be unbearable. Zeldastar pulled the kit closer to her paws.

"I love you," she whispered.

Nightkit smiled. "That's the first time I heard you say I love you," he squeaked excitedly. "You should say it more; it makes you sound nicer."

She mock gasped, and pushed the little tom over playfully. "Are you saying I'm not a nice she-cat?!" She roared. The kit giggled and nodded. "I'll show you a nice cat!" The tortoiseshell grabbed him and threw the kit into the soft grass.

…

That night, Zeldastar was cuddling Nightkit in their nest, when another wail rose up in the camp. Nightkit jolted awake and started to whimper. "It's ok little one. I'll check it out," she whispered soothingly.

Zeldastar padded over to where Wolftail was continuously yowling into the starry night, blue eyes bleary with tears. "Wolftail!" She hissed. "I understand your pain, but keep it down!" The gray tabby snapped his head back, tears falling down his cheeks all the way to the angry scowl on his face.

"Zeldastar, you're an amazing leader, fighter, and you've taken wonderful care of Nightkit. But like Berryfoot said, you've never experienced true pain! Foxflame is the love of my life! And I feel as if 'm loosing her to…to… a murder! Terror is a disease! He loved her when we lived in Skyclan, and I guessed he never stopped loving her," he whimpered.

"We lost our daughter, our only kit. And then Starclan blessed us with another litter, for me to only get torn apart from! I don't even know if they're alive!" He's grieving Zelda, don't snap at him. Don't snap…too late.

Anger churned deep in her belly. Second time someone's accused her and they no nothing about her past! "You have no right to tell me I haven't felt pain in my life! My parents abandoned us when Regnant and I were kits! An owl nearly clawed my eyes out when I was young, I almost lost my brother countless times! I have been betrayed more times than I have claws! MOONFIRE TOOK AWAY EVERYTHING I HAVE EVERY LOVED! And you have the urge to tell me I haven't felt pain?!" Her deputy's eyes grew wide with horror as she realized her claws were unsheathed. She had almost clawed him. She had almost acted upon her loner instincts.

"Wolftail…go get some rest. You have to organize patrols in the morning," she said emotionless as she padded back to her nest. Guilt sunk at the bottom of her belly like a stone in a lake. I tried to say I'm sorry, but I will defend myself at all costs. I may be their leader, but my dignity comes first. That's the way it will always be…

As Zeldastar neared her nest, she winced at Nightkit's sad, wide pale green eyes. "D-Did my m-mother really ruin e-everything you l-love?" He whimpered, shaking like a leaf. Oh no.

"N-Nightkit. O-Of course not," she whispered. She tried to pull him closer to her with her tail, but he hissed and pawed it away.

Crack.

A piece of her heart crushed.

"You're a liar! I-it's not my mother's fault that my father left you! Y-you…" he broke down into wails. Heart wrenching wails.

Crack.

Another piece of her heart.

"N-Nightkit I didn't mean it. I-I swear!" D-dignity above everything! D-D-Dignity a-above everything! "I'm so sorry little one." Tears started to fall down her cheeks. One of the very few cats she loved was slipping out away from her. It was true, heart broken pain.

Before Zeldastar could speak again, a big clump of black and white bloodied fur hauled himself into their camp. "Help me," he pleading, voice breaking. Zeldastar's blood turned to ice as she noticed the beaten tom. Canine…