The Long And Winding Road

Notes: The usual disclaimers apply, and remember that all episodes that came after "This Charming Man" aren't canon in this story.

Chapter 61 – I Can Only Give You Everything

On Saturday evening at TMD, Emma walked arm-in-arm with JT into his office after a showing of the Buster Keaton silent comedy, "The General."

"Okay, I've seen lots of movies with car chases, but never train chases," Emma remarked. "That was great."

"And now it feels like things are finally starting to get back to normal," he said, contented.

"Since when have you ever preferred normalcy?" she teased.

"You know what I mean."

"Yeah," Emma agreed. "It felt strange not being here the last two Saturdays. But I wasn't about to complain. After all, on the first one I was finally able to get you out of that hospital."

"Last Saturday wasn't exactly a disappointment, either," JT added. "Even though we couldn't be here because I was still having to rest at home, watching DVDs while the two of us stretched out on the couch together was a nice substitute."

Leaving her side, JT walked around behind his desk and picked up the three small slips of paper that were laying beside the phone.

"Let me just look over my phone messages," he explained. "Then we can get out of here."

"I have to say, you've got me very curious about this evening," Emma commented while JT glanced over his messages.

"Oh?"

"I was surprised when you called me while I was at lunch," she continued. "Suggesting we dress up a little more for tonight, but then not giving me any further explanation."

Looking up from what he was reading, JT looked over at Emma.

"I thought it would be fun to get a little fancy tonight for when we go to Burger Time," he explained. "Just think…you'll be the best-dressed veggie burger eater the place has ever seen."

"You're smirking, JT. You are definitely up to something."

"Such an imagination you have, Emma. Just be careful. You won't want to drop any fries on that nice dress."

"Right," she said sarcastically. "Keep talking, Mr. Coat and Tie. But I'm not buying any of it."

"Would you settle for renting any of it?" JT joked.

Emma laughed.

"How about leasing?"

"Are you ready to go yet?" she asked, rolling her eyes.

In response, JT held up the messages in his hand.

"There's one thing I need to take care of first," he then said. "But it will only take a second. Do you mind?"

"No. I'll just get some water from the fountain and meet you by the door."

"Thanks Emma."

She leaned forward over the desk and kissed him then left the office. Once she was gone, JT put the messages back down. None of them were urgent. He could wait until Monday to respond. But the slips had provided him with a nice – not to mention conveniently timed – visual. He now had a simple excuse for needing a moment alone in the room.

JT opened the top drawer of his desk and pulled out the small box. Slipping it into his coat pocket and shutting the drawer, he took a deep breath and then headed for the door. He knew that his only challenge now was to try not to appear overly excited before the appropriate time.

Meanwhile at the Cameron home, Manny left the kitchen area and returned to the couch where Sean was sitting.

"You didn't have to clean up, Manny."

"It wasn't like I was washing dishes," she countered while sitting down beside him on his left side. "Just clearing away the take-out containers. Are you sure there's nothing else I can get you?"

"The only thing I want you to do is stop worrying," he instructed.

"But your shoulder…"

"Is a little sore. My ankle, too. Smashing against a wall the way I did this morning will do that. But I'm fine. Besides, it's not like we'd been going fast enough for me to get too banged up."

"I can't tell you how sorry I am that I let go like that. I didn't even realize I had until I suddenly heard you moaning. Then I noticed that I'd stopped moving and you were down on the ice several feet away."

"It's not that big a deal," he tried to assure her.

"I just wasn't expecting… It caught me off guard."

Sean knew something had shaken her while they were on the ice, but he didn't know what it was, and she hadn't offered an explanation all day.

"Wasn't expecting what?" Sean asked as he pressed the Off button on the television remote control.

Manny looked at him and knew that she couldn't put off facing the situation any longer.

"When we were skating, you mentioned that you loved me."

"Yeah, I remember. And…?"

"That's the first time one of us has said it to the other one. And it scared me a little."

Sean looked confused.

"It sounds dumb," she added. "I know it does."

"Not dumb," Sean responded. "But I don't get it. I know I've never made some formal statement. But I figured you knew how I felt."

"I did, Sean. I do. It's the same way I've been feeling about you."

"That's a relief," he said, smiling.

"Only now that it's been said out loud, it's official. And…"

"And what?" he asked gently, curious about her hesitation.

"Every guy who's told me he loves me…okay, every guy who's told me he loves me and meant it…I always end up hurting him. Somehow, some way, I mess things up. And I don't want that for you, Sean. I don't want that for us. Even though we've only been together a few months, I've been so happy. I know you are too. Hearing you say you love me…I don't want it to be some kind of signal that this is the beginning of the end."

Sean felt like telling her that those experiences were ancient history. That she already knew how much she'd grown in the just the last year alone so she had nothing to worry about. However, one of the things that had drawn them together in the first place was that they both regretted actions of the past and wanted to be better people.

He knew from personal experience that no matter how much stronger you become, there was still this fear that comes out from time to time. Fear of falling back into old patterns. Fear that you haven't really improved yourself enough to overcome the mistakes of the past.

So rather than tell her to ignore it – which he was sure would just make her focus on her fears even more – he was going to take another approach.

"Manny, I know from what you've told me before that only two guys had ever said it to you and really meant it. I know how things always turned out between you and them. I know that just because you're good friends with both of them now doesn't make you feel less guilty when you think about the past. I also know you're much stronger than you were back then."

"What I don't know," he continued, "is the future. We could last for years. Or it could be over in a month. By the way, I'm hoping for the first choice. But whatever happens, it's not going to be because of your old mistakes or my old mistakes. I'm sure we're gonna make a lot of new mistakes. But if we're in this thing together, it'll be a lot easier to deal with whatever happens."

Sean's words began to have the intended effect. Manny understood what he was saying. Things were indeed different from her past relationships. The past wasn't going to disappear, but it didn't have to define the present and the future. Though she knew this, it helped to have him there to remind her. The worry gradually began to fade and the confidence she felt before the word "love" was uttered that morning started to return. Unlike earlier in the day, though, she was no longer fearful of those feelings becoming more than unspoken thoughts.

Smiling, Manny leaned over and kissed him.

"I love you, too," she said afterward. "It was about time I told you so."

"You already did," he countered. "When we were in the hospital cafeteria and you told me about your visits to see the babies. You didn't actually say those three words out loud, but that was the first time I heard them from you. If that makes any sense."

"Yeah," she responded. "You're making a lot of sense."

Leaning up against Sean, she put her head on his shoulder. This, however, made him wince. Remembering that this was his sore shoulder, she quickly lifted her head back up.

"Sorry about that," she offered. "Guess we should put that down as one of those new mistakes."

This made Sean laugh. He was relieved that she was beginning to feel like herself again.

"Just a minor mistake," he kidded while wrapping his arm around her. "But worth it."

"You can turn the TV back on if you want," she then remarked.

"Maybe later," he said, feeling relaxed. "Right now I think things are fine just the way they are."

Later on that evening, Emma and JT were sitting at a table in Campanelli's. Having finished his main course, JT watched as Emma finished what was left of her fettucini.

"Enjoying everything so far?" JT questioned.

"You have to ask?" Emma replied between bites. "Once again you are full of surprises. I had no clue you were going to bring me here tonight. It's been a couple of months since the last time we were here."

"Way too long," he responded. "When I called over here today, I was afraid it would be a major hassle getting a reservation on short notice, but they said it wouldn't be a problem. That was not too long after I called you the first time."

"This must be your lucky day," Emma suggested.

"Our lucky day," JT corrected.

"Absolutely," she agreed.

Their waiter soon came over to check on them.

"Are you ready for dessert?" the man asked.

"Sounds great," JT said enthusiastically.

"You go ahead," Emma told him while putting her fork down on her now empty plate. "I don't think I could eat another bite. But I'll watch while you eat."

"Come on, Emma," he urged. "You know that usually when we come here you say you're too full for dessert, then a few minutes later you have second thoughts and decide to order a piece of cheesecake. Just skip the wait this time."

JT then turned his attention toward the waiter.

"Bring us a big piece of cheesecake," he requested. "With the blueberries. And two forks."

Emma didn't notice that JT and the waiter then exchanged a knowing look between one another.

"Very good, sir."

The waiter removed the plates from their table and returned to the kitchen.

"JT…"

"Trust me," JT interrupted. "I know you're going to want it."

"Probably so," she admitted. "And I have no doubt you'll be able to eat whatever I'm not able to. And the more I think about it…it does sound good."

"Emma," JT then began, changing the subject while they waited, "thanks again for before. Trading spots with me after the waiter had already seated us."

"I told you it was no problem," she assured.

"It's not like it should have been necessary," he continued. "We're at a table in the middle of a roomful of other customers. I just felt more comfortable not sitting with my back to the door."

"It's okay," she said gently.

"Guess it shouldn't matter. When Jay showed up at my office, it's not like I had my back to the door then. But it was still a surprise. And not the good kind of surprise, like me surprising you by bringing you here tonight."

"Whatever will make you feel more comfortable definitely matters," Emma told him. "Don't think that it's wrong to feel the way you do about certain things. You're doing great."

"As long as you're having fun tonight."

"Believe it," she replied.

"I haven't had chance to mention it," he said, moving on to a related topic, "but I did decide to go with one of Spinner's suggestions. Well, partly."

"Which one?"

"If someone who's not a customer with a ticket shows up wanting to see me," he explained, "then whichever person happens to be in front taking tickets sends them over to Spin or Amanda at the counter. Then one of them can check with me and see if this person has an appointment. If he doesn't have one, I can at least get an idea about who wants to see me and I can decide things from there. Spin hated the way that Jay was able to get in to see me so easily."

"I agree with both of you. It sounds like a good idea."

"But don't worry, Emma. You're on the list of exceptions."

"Good to know I'm exceptional," she joked. "Wait…you said you're PARTLY going with Spinner's suggestion. What part did you not agree with."

"Well, his idea involved everyone using walkie-talkies to communicate."

Emma laughed as she imagined Spinner enthusiastically trying to convince JT that such a purchase would be the best thing in the world.

Moments later, their waiter returned. On his tray were two plates, each covered with a lid. He set one in front of Emma and the other in front of JT.

"Thank you," JT said to the waiter, who simply nodded and left the couple alone.

"Since when do they put coverings over the dessert plates?" Emma questioned.

"Who knows?" JT replied in a casual tone. "Maybe they're thinking about making things even more formal and this is an experiment. I wouldn't worry about it."

"Perhaps. But what's even stranger is that he brought you a plate, too."

"Well, I asked for two forks. He probably thought I'd want my own plate."

"With a lid covering an empty plate?"

JT shrugged.

"Oh well," Emma remarked. "Like you said, it's not something worth worrying about."

"Exactly," he confirmed.

Emma then proceeded to remove the lid from her plate. Looking down, she was confused by what she found.

"They may be trying for a fancier look, but the service is starting to suffer."

"What's wrong?" JT asked. He had anticipated her reaction but was trying to sound concerned. "You don't like it?"

"The cheesecake looks great," she replied. "But it's plain. They didn't put the blueberries on it like you ordered."

"Oh," JT responded calmly.

"Do you want to flag the waiter over or would you like me to?"

"It's probably just a little mix-up," he offered.

"But JT…"

He slowly lifted up the covered plate in front of him.

"Now this one feels a little heavier than an empty plate should," he commented. "This could be the plate you were meant to have, and you just ended up with something extra."

JT moved her plate over to the side and then carefully placed the covered plate in front of her.

"Go ahead and check it out," he suggested. "And if this isn't what you want either, then we'll worry about it."

"Okay."

Emma removed the lid from the second plate and her eyes widened in surprise at what she saw. This plate was holding nothing but blueberries. Except this fruit was serving a special purpose. The small objects spelled out "MARRY" on the top half of the plate and "ME?" on the bottom half.

"Ah, so that's where all the blueberries were hiding," JT joked while watching Emma. "Guess we have to put them on the cheesecake ourselves. Maybe the service around here really is getting worse."

Confused, Emma looked up to find JT smiling.

"JT?"

"See?" JT pointed toward the cheesecake and then the blueberries. "You've got these two things here. Each one's good enough all by itself. But put them together, and you've got something great. Sort of like us."

Despite the shock, Emma couldn't help but smile at his comment.

JT then stood up and walked over to Emma. Once beside her, he pulled the small box from his coat pocket.

"Emma, that smile on your face… I'm not a musician. So I can't write or play any fancy love songs for you. I'm not a singer, either. Last time I tried to sing in the shower, the bathroom tiles started to crack. And I'm not a poet, so the only verses I could recite for you are some limericks that I don't think would fit the moment we've got going on right now. But I was able to make you smile just now. I've been able to do that since the first day I met you. I want to keep making you smile for the rest of our lives."

He then handed her the box. She looked up at him questioningly, as though wondering if it was okay to open it. Understanding, he nodded.

"Oh my God," she said loudly after opening the box and looking at the ring inside. "Jamie, it's beautiful."

By now, customers at nearby tables had noticed what was happening and were turning their attention to the couple.

"But don't worry, Emma," JT then remarked. "I'm not going to leave it up to the blueberries alone to ask the question. This may be a little old-fashioned, but you know how much I love the classics."

Upon saying this, he proceeded to get down on one knee.

"Emma Nelson, I love you. Will you marry me?"

Though extremely surprised, Emma leaned toward JT and put her arms around him. Onlookers, sensing that she had accepted the proposal, applauded the couple.

"I love you too," Emma said excitedly while hugging him.

Afterward, while holding onto one of her hands, JT returned to his chair. At the same time, fellow customers started returning their attention back to their own tables.

"I can't believe all of this," Emma said, still amazed.

"All part of the surprise."

"I think this one manages to top all the other surprises you've ever pulled."

"Go ahead and try on the ring," he urged, letting go of her hand.

Emma looked again at the ring inside the box and smiled, but then she looked back up at JT.

"Oh, I can't do that yet," she told him.

"Ah, I get it," he said confidently. "You want me to do the honors and place it on your finger. Not a problem. Consider me your official ring put-ter on-er."

"No," Emma stopped him before he could take the ring out of the box. "I mean I shouldn't put the ring on when I haven't even given you an answer yet."

"Oh, okay. I thought you already gave me your answer by the thrilled look on your face when I was down on the ground and you were starting to hug me. But that's okay. Nothing wrong with getting the official spoken answer."

The two then looked at one another. Soon JT became confused when Emma didn't say anything.

"Well…?" he finally prompted.

"Well what?" she asked, confused.

"I know you love to torture me, Emma," JT teased, "but I've suffered enough. The sooner you say 'yes,' the sooner I get to slip the ring on your finger."

"JT…"

"And before you start to worry," he interrupted, "this is the real deal. This ring isn't like that fake junk on the home shopping channels."

"It's a beautiful ring," Emma confirmed. "And this was a beautiful proposal. You don't know how happy I am that you've asked me this question. But I can't just give you an answer right away. An important question like this deserves special care and thought. I'm going to need a little time to think."

JT thought for a moment. Her response wasn't something he had expected. Still, he decided that what she was saying made sense.

"You're right," he responded. "I don't know why I didn't think of it myself."

"So you understand?" she asked, not wishing for JT to mistake her desire for time as a rejection.

"Of course," he answered cheerfully. "Take all the time you need. You think five minutes will cover it? I could head to the restroom so that you can sit here and think."

"No JT."

"Okay. I guess I can sit here and you could go to the restroom, but that seems like a strange place to think about getting married."

Emma smiled.

"I'm talking about real time, JT. The kind where I go home tonight and give this all the consideration it deserves."

"Oh."

Emma noticed the look of disappointment on JT's face.

"Hey, don't look like that," she encouraged. "You know I don't make decisions lightly. Besides, if I had said 'yes' immediately, it would have looked like something out of those movies you enjoy teasing me for liking."

"So when should I check back with you? Tomorrow morning? Lunch time? You name it."

"Let me be the one to contact you."

Emma's answer further puzzled him.

"What?"

"You are very persistent, JT. I don't mean it in a bad way. It's one of the qualities I really admire about you. But it's going to be hard to think about things if every time the phone rings I have to wonder if it's going to be you calling to see if I have an answer yet."

JT sighed, though not loud enough for Emma to notice. She was busy placing the blueberries on the cheesecake so that they could begin to eat dessert.

"I'll have an answer for you soon," she continued. "I promise."

JT wanted to say so many things in response. Things he was sure could convince her that she would never regret accepting his proposal. But time is what she requested from him, so time is what he would have to give her. Reluctantly, he was going to leave things alone and hope for the best.