Chapter Eleven – Somewhere Only We Know.
The night seemed to be getting darker as Magnus walked alone on an empty street, strangely he could still remember where he was going, Blackfriars Bridge. He'd stood there a while back with Alec, except Alec wasn't with him now. He was alone in the cold darkness feeling more alone than he had ever felt in his life. He stood staring out over the River Thames, his hands clenching the cold metal rail. He could even remember being in one of the numerous coffee bars which had been open late on that cold winter's night. But now the coffee bars were all shut up, their darkened windows darkening Magnus's thoughts. He pushed himself away from the bridge rail and headed down towards one of the parks he had also visited that night with Alec, all the while his mind was replaying the scene on the bridge:
Magnus's gloved hand was clutching Alec's tightly as they slipped along the icy pavement. The weather was treacherous. A thick layer of snow had covered the ice making it impossible to see, white snowflakes spiralled down from the grey overcast sky, settling in Alec's dark hair making it look white. The street lamps glowed orange in the dark, moths buzzing around the light. Magnus steered Alec towards the rails of Blackfriars Bridge, letting out a laugh as Alec almost slipped over. The tips of his ears and cheeks were red from the cold wind that blew around them and Magnus smiled at Alec as he stared out over the River Thames, unaware that Magnus was watching him. "It's so beautiful." Alec whispered, his eyes scanning the lights of the buildings and the reflection of the full moon on the River's surface. "I'm glad you like the view." Magnus laughed, yelping as he too almost slipped on a hidden patch of ice. Alec laughed as Magnus clutched tighter on his arm, struggling to remain standing. "Do you want some coffee?" Magnus asked, glancing up at Alec. Alec raised an eyebrow, "No summoning. You promised." A smile curved his lips.
"I know that." Magnus said, pointing over at a coffee bar on the other side of the bridge which was still open.
Alec nodded, and frowned. "What?" Magnus asked, "What is it?"
"Nothing… I just… I… Oh forget it!" Alec stammered.
"No tell me." Magnus pushed.
"I can't. I'm no good with words." Alec mused, staring back over the water.
"Then show me." Magnus whispered.
"Okay." Alec whispered back before pressing his lips to Magnus's with a smile. Magnus pulled him closer, just as Alec broke away, blushing furiously. "You said show you." Alec smiled with a shrug.
"Okay," Magnus said, "but now it's my show and tell time." He pulled Alec even closer by his jacket and kissed him fiercely, pulling back after a while for breath. "Um… that…um…" Alec stammered, only silenced when Magnus pressed his lips to Alec's again, briefly. "Coffee?" Magnus asked, Alec nodded clearly not trusting himself enough to speak. Magnus led him over to the coffee bar and brought two cups of coffee before they both headed off towards one of London's many parks.
Magnus had reached the park, his face was wet with tears that had been silently falling against his will while his mind had dwelled on the memory. His hands, at his sides, were trembling and he walked through the grass sitting on the trunk of a fallen tree. 'Is this the place, we used to love?' He thought as his mind played another memory:
They sat down on the trunk of a fallen tree, their faces frozen from the cold. Alec's hair was now a sheet of white from the snow that had collected on the top of his head. Magnus raised a hand and ran it through Alec's dark hair, the snow falling down Alec's face and onto his shoulders. Alec smiled, draining the last of his coffee and tossed the paper cup into the nearest bin. Magnus smiled back at him, "So, now what?" Magnus asked.
"I know something we could do." Alec muttered as he raised a hand as though brushing the snow off of his shoulders, secretly he had it in his hands. "Come here." Alec beckoned, his voice low. Magnus shuffled across to Alec's side. Alec reached his arms out and Magnus lent into the embrace, unaware that Alec was sticking snow down his shirt until it was too late. The cold bit into his bare skin making Magnus yelp in shock and leap to his feet.
He raised the back of his shirt shaking the snow out and sending a mock glare at Alec who was laughing so much, tears were running down his cheeks. "C-Cold… s-so c-c-cold…" Magnus shivered, "That's evil!" Alec shrugged. Magnus smirked, as he bent to scoop up some snow but as he glanced up, Alec was already hidden, "Oh Alec! Alexander!" Magnus called, trying to keep the laughter out of his voice, "I have a present for you! Don't you want it?!" Alec made a run for it running out from behind a stone statue, Magnus threw the snowball at his boyfriend, it smacked into Alec's shoulder. "Yes! Two points for Magnus Bane!" Magnus yelled, his arms raised in victory, a wide grin on his face. Two snowballs hit his chest. "Three to Alec Lightwood!" Alec cheered, laughing as Magnus began to chase him. Just as Magnus wrapped his arms around Alec's waist they both slipped on a patch of ice and fell into the snow laughing. "I love you Alexander." Magnus whispered, staring into Alec's bright blue eyes.
"I love you too." Alec whispered back.
Together they climbed to their feet and headed back to the tree trunk, shivering. "Hold out your hands." Magnus instructed, taking Alec's outstretched hands in his. A sudden warm burst of air surrounded them, warming their frozen skin and drying their damp clothes. "Better?" Magnus asked.
Alec nodded, "Much better thank you." Magnus smiled and turned his back on Alec for a moment. "Um, Magnus? What are you doing?" Alec asked, as a sound of grating filled the quiet night. "I'm making a carving. So that we know this is our place. The place we loved." Alec blushed and Magnus entwined their hands. "I've said it before and I'll never get tired of saying it. I love you, Alexander Gideon Lightwood."
"I love you too, Magnus Bane." Magnus kissed him.
Running a finger over the carving Magnus sighed. His chest ached with a pain that was clearly not homesickness. It was Alec-sickness. He missed Alec so much. But he couldn't go back. He knew that Alec wouldn't want him around and Magnus's life meant nothing without Alec being near him. Without Alec loving him. His cast one more glance at the carving which read: 'MB + AL' He stood letting the tears slip down his cheeks again as he headed back towards Blackfriars Bridge to head home again, the journey even colder and more lonesome than before.