The Long And Winding Road
Notes: The usual disclaimers apply, and remember that all episodes that came after "Holiday" and "This Charming Man" aren't canon in this story.
Chapter 65 -- Tell Him
It was only a few minutes after one o'clock on Monday afternoon when Emma pulled into TMD's parking lot. Getting out of her car, she paused, took a deep breath and then walked in the direction of the front doors. Once inside she made eye contact with Amanda, who was behind the concession counter tending to the next customer in line.
"Hey Amanda," Emma greeted as she neared the counter. "Is JT still here?"
"Hi Emma," Amanda said while getting change from the cash register. "Yes, JT's in his office…"
"Thanks," Emma responded, walking away from the counter before Amanda could finish her sentence.
Emma turned toward the hallway leading to the office. While she was walking down the hall, Spinner nearly bumped into her as he hurriedly exited the men's restroom.
"Sorry about that," he offered as he stopped.
"No problem," she assured. "Hey, I'm not sure what JT's schedule is like today. Has he already been to lunch?"
"He didn't go out," Spinner informed her. "He's in his office eating right now. But it's a business lunch because he's in a meeting. Well, I guess it still counts as a business lunch even though they're just having a couple of hot dogs."
"Oh," Emma said, sounding disappointed.
"But if you want, just wait a couple minutes. When I stuck my head in the office a minute ago to tell him I was leaving to go to lunch, it sounded like they were almost done."
"I'll do that. Thanks Spinner. Have a good lunch."
"We will," he told her enthusiastically, ready to get to his intended destination.
As Spinner walked down the hallway and out the back door to the employee parking area, Emma decided to head back to the counter to purchase something to drink while she waited.
In his office, meanwhile, JT was taking the last bite of his hot dog.
"I'm going to need some time to think about it, JT."
JT rolled his eyes in response as he looked across his desk at Ellie, who had already finished her hot dog.
"What is it with women and needing time?" he asked jokingly. "That seems to be the only answer I'm getting from them lately."
"I like the idea you laid out," she acknowledged.
"Thanks Ellie. Yesterday I needed to clear my head, so I decided to start thinking about a good premise for the TV ad. I went out for a long drive that afternoon, but my mind was one big blank. Finally, I was getting hungry and decided to stop at a little burger place on the other side of town before heading home. While I was inside eating, out the window I could see a reporter and a cameraman from your TV station on the corner doing quick interviews with people passing by."
"I know what you're talking about," Ellie nodded her head. "The news department puts together these 'Person On The Street' features from time to time to get people's take on the various issues of the day. It gets people thinking, and the segments make for good filler on slower news days."
"It got me thinking," JT recalled. "I already like to get customers' opinions. So why not let some of the customers tell the commercial watching public what they think is good about TMD?"
"Sounds like it would be much better than typical commercials, which are basically unfunny 60-second skits with silly jingles."
"With people who sound like they're reading straight from a script," JT agreed. "Instead, this ad is just going to feature real customers with real comments, mixed in with some establishing shots of both the inside and outside of the building."
"Capped off with your voice-over giving out the address and other general information," she summarized.
"Also," he continued, "I'm thinking that at some point it might be good to show the names of some of the recent films that have played here. But that's not a definite."
"I'm surprised you don't want to make an on-camera appearance," Ellie then suggested.
"I would have, but – being my own boss – I couldn't negotiate the right deal with myself. You know how diva-like us stars can be. I was demanding too much money, plus my own trailer. So I had to turn myself down."
Ellie laughed, and not for the first time since she'd come into the office. It was apparent to her that JT was starting to feel more comfortable, both within this building and in general. She sensed that – without forgetting any of what had happened to him – he was a man eager to resume moving forward with his life.
"JT, I'm flattered that you want me to be one of the ones to comment about this place…"
"One of the primary ones," he emphasized.
"But you know I'm much more of a behind-the-scenes type," Ellie continued. "Even though this wouldn't be live, and it's just giving an opinion rather than working from a script… I don't know."
"This place isn't mainstream. Who better than someone with a style all her own to speak about it? You've always had a high opinion of TMD, Ellie, and I think it would be great to have you take part in this. But if you're not comfortable doing it, don't worry about it. It was just a thought. No pressure."
"Thanks."
"Of course, if you turn me down, I'll be forced to buy a red wig for Spinner and put HIM in front of the camera. And nobody wants that."
"But no pressure," she remarked sarcastically.
"Of course not," he said, trying to sound serious.
Ellie groaned and then they both laughed.
"I'll think about it, but I'm not making any promises."
"Not a problem," JT responded, genuinely serious this time.
"And regardless of whether I'm in it or not," she added, "I think you've got the makings of a very good ad."
After another minute of light conversation, Ellie left JT's office. Making her way down the hallway, she saw Emma heading in her direction. Emma, cup in hand, noticed Ellie walking towards her. Though the two women had come to an understanding of sorts while JT was in the hospital, they hadn't spoken to one another since his release.
"Hi," Ellie was the first to speak up.
"Hello," Emma returned.
Now within a few feet of one another, both stopped walking.
"How are…things?" Emma asked, stopping short of actually asking about Ellie personally.
"Good," Ellie answered. "Things are good. And with you?"
"They're good," Emma replied. "Very good."
"That's good. I was just in with JT. He seems to be doing good, too."
"Yes, he is. I was just on my way in to see him."
There was a moment of silence as both of them struggled to think of something else to add to this uncomfortable exchange of small talk.
"Well," Emma finally ended the silence, "it was…good…talking to you."
"Yeah. I agree. You have a…um…good afternoon."
Ellie then walked past Emma.
'Sure, THAT wasn't awkward in the least,' Ellie thought as she made her way out of the building.
For her part, Emma was relieved to be done with that encounter.
'There went 30 seconds of my life I'll never get back,' she thought as she reached JT's office.
As usual, his door was open. Still, she knocked on it to announce her presence, not wishing to startle him. Throwing his and Ellie's paper napkins and empty cups into the trash can near his desk, JT looked up upon hearing the knocking.
"Hey," he greeted, pleased to see Emma standing in the doorway.
"Hi. Can I come in? Or is this a bad time?"
"Of course you can come in," he replied cheerfully.
As Emma entered the room and sat down, JT pulled his chair out from behind his desk and rolled it around so that he could sit beside her.
"At first I wasn't sure if you were here to see me or if you'd come to watch a movie and was just passing by."
She looked confused by JT's comment until he pointed to the cup in her hand.
"Ah," she remarked, now understanding his meaning. "No, I heard you were in a meeting so I thought I'd get this while I waited."
"Yeah, I wanted to talk to Ellie and see if she'd be part of the TV spot," JT explained. "As a longtime regular customer, I think she'd be good at vouching for this place."
"Sounds fascinating," Emma said with just a touch of sarcasm. "And the introductory voice-over could be something like, 'Hey Kids! Every day can be Halloween at The Movie Difference. And here comes Ellie Nash, the customer who'll make it seem that way.'"
"Emma…"
"Just a little joke," she assured before deciding it was time to change the subject to the reason why she was there. "Anyway, I wanted to talk to you about your proposal."
"I'm glad."
"A part of me is still in shock," Emma prefaced. "That was a moment I know I'm going to remember for the rest of my life."
"Me too," JT agreed. "Well, not the part about being in shock. I'm the one who proposed, so of course it wouldn't shock me. But the part about remembering it forever… I'm right there with you."
"And now it's been almost two full days," she continued. "I want you to know that during that time I've given this a lot of thought."
JT nodded, eagerly anticipating what she would say next.
"Perhaps you've used the time to think more about it as well," she added.
That caught JT by surprise and this time he was the one looking confused.
"More time?" he questioned. "Why would I have needed more time?"
"Marriage is a big step, JT," Emma responded. "It would change both of our lives forever."
"You think I don't know that?"
"I'm only saying that there's nothing wrong with you giving this further thought. It's important that you're absolutely certain this is what you want."
"Emma, I'm the one who did the proposing. I think I know my own mind."
"But the timing…this was so sudden."
"We've talked before about getting married someday," he reminded.
"Yes. Someday. But the proposal the other night came as a complete surprise."
"That's kind of the way a good proposal works," JT suggested, smirking. "I guess I could've sent you an e-mail ahead of time to warn you, but then that whole 'element of surprise' thing would've been shot."
"This is serious, JT," Emma cautioned.
"You don't have to tell me that. I know it is. After all, I'm the one being turned down."
"I didn't say I was turning you down," she corrected.
"So you're saying 'Yes,'" he concluded.
"I didn't say that, either."
"Then I'm completely lost here."
"This isn't about me giving an answer," Emma attempted to explain. "Not right now anyway. It's about making sure you're doing what you want to do for the right reasons."
"The right reasons?" JT repeated, looking at Emma questioningly.
"With everything that's happened…I know how easy it might be to start thinking that you need to live every day like it's your last. To hurry up and do something now because you're afraid you won't get the chance later on. That you won't HAVE a later on."
"So you think I'm crazy and that I only want to get married out of fear?" he asked.
"No. But now things are calmer after all the excitement in the restaurant the other night, and I could understand if you were starting to think that maybe it was a case of you wanting to accomplish too much too soon. And if that's what's going on and I…"
Emma didn't finish her sentence. Instead, she didn't say anything else. JT considered responding but he could see in her eyes that there was still more she wanted to say.
"Jamie," she spoke up several moments later. "I'm strong. I like to think of myself as someone who can handle just about anything. And the two of us together? I don't think there's any challenge we can't take on and do a great job with. But if we got married right now because you were concerned that it was now or never…
"Later on…maybe a week, a month or even a year into the marriage…with the assault further in the past and your thoughts clearer, you might come to the realization that marriage isn't really what you want yet. That you should have waited to propose. Maybe you'd start to feel trapped and come to resent me. You are the most important person in my life, and I know for a fact that I wouldn't be strong enough to take seeing a look of contempt in your eyes directed at me."
After she was finished, JT arose from his chair and walked over to the door. He stood there for a moment. In the past, he seldom closed it because he liked the idea of having an open-door policy with both the staff and the customers. Since coming back to work, he'd always kept it open because he was afraid he would feel trapped again, as he did when Jay shut the door minutes before pulling the knife.
But things were changing. JT's confidence had been growing slowly with each new day, and his encounter with Alex the previous night left him feeling even better about himself and what he could handle.
Placing his hand on the doorknob, JT slowly shut the office door. He took a deep breath and turned back around. He walked back toward the desk, but instead of sitting back down beside Emma he stopped in front of her. He reached out and took her hands in his.
"This has been the toughest month of my life," he finally spoke.
Emma wanted to say something, but as JT had earlier, she could see in his eyes that there were things he needed to say without interruption. So she remained silent and attentive.
"But it's also been the best," JT continued. "After all, I'm still here. I'm up and around again. And if it's possible, I feel more alive than ever before.
"Okay, I still have times when I feel a little shaky. Times when I start to remember what happened in this room. Or I think about lying in that hospital bed, and it's almost like I'm back there that first night – complete with the IV and all the smells of the hospital.
"The thing you need to know is that not only are those scary feelings happening less and less, but I've never been scared when it comes to us. What happened to me – and what COULD have happened to me if things had been even worse – is not what made me propose to you. Sure, I guess I could have waited a year, or even five years. I didn't ask you the question because of some kind of fear that I wouldn't get the chance a year from now or five years from now. I asked you because I love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you. Officially. You've got to believe that, angel."
Though she had always believed in the sincerity of JT's proposal, now there was no longer any doubt in Emma's mind about the timing of the question. Looking at him and listening to him, she was certain this was what he truly wanted.
"I believe it," she responded.
"That's a relief," he said, pleased that the matter was settled. "By the way, I bought your ring the day before I ended up in the hospital."
"What?" she asked, surprised by this new piece of information. "You mean this whole conversation could have been a lot shorter?"
"Yeah, but isn't it better that we both know you accepted that the proposal has nothing to do with the stabbing because you believed me when I told you…and not because a receipt with the purchase date can prove it?"
"You're right," she answered. "It IS better this way."
Still holding her hands, JT sat down on the end of the desk.
"So, now that everything's cleared up…"
"Well…" Emma interrupted. "Not quite."
Dumbfounded, JT let out a heavy sigh.
Meanwhile several blocks away, Spinner and Liberty were sitting at a table in Lem Sung's. They had just received their orders. Spinner was having the chicken stir-fry, while Liberty had selected the pepper steak.
"So I was able to get copies of 6 issues of the university's newspaper from last semester," Liberty resumed speaking after their waiter had left. "They were okay. Nothing to be ashamed of."
"But they were missing The Van Zandt Touch," Spinner guessed.
"I like that," she smiled. "I'll admit it didn't take me long to find several things that I would change about the layout and the editorial coverage to make the paper better."
"How about…"
"The sports section is well done," Liberty answered before he could even complete the question. "I think you'd appreciate it."
"How did you know I was going to ask about the sports?"
"I'd like to think that, even in such a relatively short time, I've gotten to know you fairly well at this point," she replied with confidence. "Call it a hunch."
"I know the feeling. Which is why I bet you'll find a way to take over as editor of that paper before your first semester is over."
"Nice idea, but that's extremely ambitious even for me."
"Says the woman who got to be editor of The Grapevine her very first year at Degrassi," he reminded her.
"True, but it helped that the Grade 12 who was editor was dropped during the second week of school because of a typo in a headline."
"For just one typo? Sounds brutal."
"Well, it was considered a major error on his part," she remembered. "The headline was supposed to say 'Principal Raditch Wins Award.' Only there was a word misspelled, and this editor didn't catch it."
"'Principal?'" Spinner assumed. "I never could remember which spelling to use for that."
"No, that wasn't the word. It was 'Raditch.' Misspelled with a 'b' instead of a 'd.'"
Spinner sat still for a moment thinking about it. Then he realized the exact nature of the error.
"So you mean it actually showed up on the page as…"
"'Rabitch,'" Liberty revealed, confirming what she knew he must have figured out. "Printed in big bold letters."
"I love it," he remarked. "Wish I'd seen that. I never really looked at the paper much outside of the sports page. No offense."
"None taken. So he was quickly dropped from the paper. And despite being the youngest person on staff, I was the only one willing to take on the responsibility and become the new editor."
"And you held your own and kept the title all six years you were there. The newspaper version of an ultimate champion. Very cool."
"You flatter me. It's all true, of course, but still flattering to hear."
Her joking remark made them both laugh. Afterward, Liberty picked up her chopsticks and began eating. Spinner, fork in hand, studied her.
"Liberty, how long have you been able to use chopsticks?" Spinner asked after taking a bite of his food. "Since the first time we had Chinese that day in JT's office, I noticed that you're really good with those things."
"Thanks. I suppose my mom taught me when I was a little girl. I've been able to use them for as long as I can remember."
"I never could get them to work right," he confessed. "Now if I could put them in a pencil sharpener, I'd at least be able to get them pointy enough to where I could jam them into the food and eat it all like a shish kabob. But that still wouldn't work for the rice."
"The main thing to remember," she explained, "is you really only move one of the two sticks around. You use that one to get the food into position against the still one so that you're able to grasp the food."
"Maybe someday when we have more time, you can give me lessons."
"Chopsticks 101? Sounds like fun."
"But I've gotta warn you…I was never the quickest student in the class."
"Gavin, I think you're in a class all by yourself."
"Thanks. Wait…You're saying that in a good way, right?"
Spinner was relieved when Liberty answered positively and then he resumed eating, while she watched him and smiled.
Back at TMD, JT looked at Emma while trying to figure out what could be left that they needed to clear up.
"But I thought we took care of your concern," he said.
"That was my concern about you and your possible concerns," she responded. "There's still the matter of my concern about myself."
"About yourself?"
"About myself and money," she clarified. "Or the lack of very much of it."
"I don't get it."
"You know I'll be taking classes this Fall," Emma started to explain. "In fact, that's mostly due to the scholarships I got. And even though I plan to continue working a few hours a week, it's not like I'd be able to contribute equally to our finances. It would likely be a long time before I could even come close."
"I'm not worried, Emma," JT declared. "By the time we're 30 you'll be this nationally syndicated columnist, and all the major publishers are going to offer you these big book deals. So I'll be able to retire young and enjoy a life of sun bathing by the pool in the backyard of our huge mansion while you're busy typing up your next award-winning masterpiece.
"You're nuts, you know that?"
"As long as I'm not a cashew," he joked. "Because whenever you say 'cashew,' it just sounds like you're sneezing."
"JT…"
"Sorry Emma. I know this is serious. Don't stress about this. You'll contribute what you can when you can. This isn't the kind of thing where we compete and keep score.
"I promise you: once we get things organized with a joint account and everything, you'll see that we'll be okay financially. I don't mean we'll be rich. But we're not going to have any trouble paying for the things we need. You know, things like rent, food, bail money for whenever you get arrested during those rowdy protest demonstrations. The essentials."
Emma smiled. Even after all these years of knowing JT, she still marveled at his ability to be both serious and comedic at the same time. Sometimes within the same sentence.
"And not counting all the money talk," he added, "you contribute a lot. More than I can ever tell you."
Emma studied the young man in front of her for a moment. On this day he'd managed to satisfy her primary concerns. There was nothing left to keep her from giving him the response she'd wanted to give all along.
Except for one thing.
"Ask me again," Emma requested.
"Ask you what?"
"You know," she urged. "The question that I need to be asked in order to give you the proper response."
"Oh, THAT question."
"Yeah."
"Sorry Emma," he teased. "That whole thing where I get down on one knee while saying all sorts of wonderful things… That was a one-time-only deal."
"You're determined to make me suffer," she concluded.
"Would I do something like that?" JT asked, trying to sound innocent.
"Absolutely. But I suppose fair is fair."
Emma got up from her chair and this time she got down on one knee.
"JT Yorke, I love you. Will you…repeat the question you asked me the other night so I can give you a different answer this time around?"
"How can I refuse?" he kidded her before pulling her up by her hands.
Once Emma was on her feet again, JT wrapped his arms around her waist.
"JT Yorke Proposal, Take 2," he announced, making her smile. "Emma, will you marry me?"
"Yes," Emma answered, this time without a second of hesitation.
"Would you mind repeating that?" he asked in a lighthearted tone.
"My answer is 'Yes,'" she gladly confirmed as tears of happiness formed in her eyes. "I would love to marry you."
"Good. Just wanted to double-check."
JT was then about to make another humorous comment but decided that what he'd rather do is seal this momentous occasion with a kiss. And Emma, in no hurry to be out of his arms, didn't mind in the least.