A/N: This took longer than I expected, but honestly it would have been much worse if I hadn't written Child Support first. Thanks for your patience.
ARNM 12 Sparkle pants
"Look, Rory, it's perfectly obvious. You've known Dean for, like, three seconds, and he's been your main squeeze for even less. But in that time he's had a growth spurt from my height to become over ten feet tall. Honestly, does he have extra leg joints so he can bend over to kiss you?"
"Mom, please think about pancakes or coffee. We're almost at Luke's. This fixation you have on Dean's growth spurt is disturbing."
"Luke! Now there's a man who needs no growth spurt." Lorelai took a little hop as she increased her speed.
"Kill me now." Rory looked around, wishing for someone to help.
"All I'm saying is, if Dean had been on the S.S. Minnow, and got shipwrecked before the growth spurt, he would have had to resort to desperate measures to stay clothed in an acceptable manner for 1960's censorship standards."
"What about shorts? He could have cut off his pants and worn shorts. Gilligan's Island was a tropical island."
"Simple. He had to hide the extra leg joints or that would have put him into a Twilight Zone episode instead of a situation comedy."
"He could have cut off the legs of Thurston Howell's extra pants and Mary Ann would have lengthened them for him."
"Oh please. The Emily and Richard of the Minnow would never have allowed that. Cutting off the bottom of Ginger's sequined evening gowns was the only solution."
They sat down at an empty table as Dean paid for his to-go coffee. He came to their table and bent over to kiss Rory hello, while Lorelai leaned over, trying to detect his extra leg joints.
"What?" He asked uncomfortably as he stood straight again.
"Hi Sparklepants," she greeted him. She dropped a napkin on the floor. "Could you please pick that up for me?"
"Run," said Rory. "Get out now. I'll see you after work." She practically pushed the confused youth out the door before turning to glare at her mother.
"OK, I'll stop. Luke's swamped, so I'll get our coffee." Lorelai sauntered to the counter, but Luke had already moved away to deliver some orders. She paused for a split-second before going around the corner, taking two mugs and pouring her own coffee.
Two strong hands grasped her firmly as Luke pressed his body against hers and whispered in her ear, "You know why I don't want you doing that."
She wriggled her butt against him. "Because your jeans can't hide how happy you are to see me? And that sexy thing you do with the order pad is like a neon sign pointing to your happiness?"
He moved his hips backward to separate them before it really did become a problem.
"No! It's because you take the coffee pot to your table and you won't share!" He complained. "That coffee is for the whole diner." He locked his fingers in her belt loops as he swung her away from the coffeemaker. Brushing her ear with his lips as he spoke in a lower voice, he added, "and yeah, a little bit of that other thing, too." A corner of his mouth turned up betraying his desire to smile.
"You're flirting with me? You do remember that we were just together five hours ago?"
"I do. I hated having to open the diner. I was ready to skip it until you started in on that Sparklepants thing."
"Geez, neither you nor Rory get it. It's a real thing!"
"You're harassing Rory with it again? Tell her I'm putting extra blueberries in her pancakes in a show of solidarity."
He waved her off as Lorelai turned back to the table, heaving a lustful sigh as she gave her step a little oomph.
"Luke's giving me extra blueberries because he looooves me," she lied as she watched Rachel approach their table.
"Hey, Lorelai," Rachel smiled, her engaging eyes dissipating the awkwardness the Lorelai had been determined to feel the next time they met. "I had to come meet the famous Rory."
"You're lucky, Rachel. Most of the time the paparazzi is too thick to get near her," she joked as she tweaked her embarrassed daughter's cheek.
"Luke's an old friend of mine. He tells me you want to be a journalist. I'm a freelance photojournalist myself."
Rory perked up at that, her normal shyness gone. "It would be really great if we could talk sometime. I'd like to learn more about what you do," she asked, practically bouncing in her chair.
If Paris had taught her one thing it was that she shouldn't be afraid to ask for what she wanted. Of course, she'd also taught her the hard way at the school paper to build a network of people who could mentor you, although Paris may have used the word minions or lackeys instead of mentors.
Rory launched into the easiest interview of her life, as Rachel was open and forthcoming about the fun and hard work she put into her job.
Luke picked up the pancake orders from the window and turned toward Lorelai's table. He stopped for a second to take in the unsettling sight of his former girlfriend chatting easily with Rory while Lorelai sipped her coffee with an odd expression as she watched the two women talk. Shrugging, he went over, placing Rory's pancakes with extra blueberries in front of her and Lorelai's normal blueberry pancakes at her spot.
When he turned back from snagging an unused syrup pitcher from a nearby table, he saw that Lorelai had switched plates, trying to look innocent. He glared at her while he moved Rory's pancakes back to her place. When Lorelai protested, he crossed his arms, wordlessly standing his ground as they silently teased each other.
Rachel noticed the interchange and tactfully took that moment to get more coffee. Behind the counter, she tucked a clean towel in her belt and made a round of coffee pouring before pouring the last of the pot into her own cup, not neglecting Rory's and Lorelai's cups either.
Returning the pot to the station, she efficiently started a new pot, grabbing the coffee and filters as if she'd been doing it for a decade.
Lorelai's interest in Rory's blueberries evaporated as she watched Rachel being Luke's most beautiful and efficient waitress.
"What's this about the behind the counter rules?" she asked, a 'concerned girlfriend' look in her eyes as she pointed to Rachel.
Luke turned, then casually turned back. "Oh, I hadn't noticed. She does that sometimes." He shrugged. "She used to help out all the time when she was here before."
"Sometimes?" Lorelai asked. Rory ducked her head and focused completely on her food when she heard her mother's tone of voice. A wave of pity for Luke flowed over her.
"Uh, yeah, I guess," he said. "She's been in and out this week. I haven't been paying attention."
Rory squeezed her eyes shut as Luke unwittingly jumped into the pit of Lorelai jealousy.
"She's been in and out all week and you never once thought to mention it?"
""So has Kirk. Did you want to know about him, too?" he retorted, still clueless.
"No, just exes," she said snidely. "Or maybe love children, too. You might put them to work filling ketchup bottles or something." She proceeded to pulverize her pancakes with her fork, then soak the crumbly mess in maple syrup.
Rory prayed silently for Luke to deal with this.
"You OK?" he asked Lorelai. "Is this bothering you?" He jerked his thumb backwards at the counter, where Rachel was cashing out a customer.
"No, I'm fine," she said in her 'so not fine' voice.
"Sure? 'Cause you don't sound fine."
"I said I'm fine. When I say I'm fine, I'm FINE."
"OK, then," he grumped, turning on his heel and going to the counter at the same time as Rachel moved back to Lorelai's table.
Rachel and Rory continued for a while, with Rachel promising to check in again after she met with her editor later that morning. Rory had asked if there were any job-shadowing opportunities where she could see first-hand the work Rachel and other freelancers did.
Rory insisted on paying, and when she reached the cash register, Luke looked at her curiously. "You guys don't pay," he said as he pushed the money back across the counter to her.
"I will give you a tip, though, Luke," she said as the coins dropped back into their designated slot.
"You also don't tip the proprietor," he said.
"Oh, you want this tip," said the young woman. "When Mom says she's fine, that's the only time she's ever NOT fine. Trust me on this one," she added as she saw his doubting look.
He looked up at Lorelai again, surprised to see her standing by the door, ready to go. No goodbye kiss; no goodbye at all for that matter.
"C'mon, kid, we've got some shopping to do for the cabin," she said, assiduously avoiding Luke.
Rory rolled her eyes at Luke. "Good luck fixing this. You're gonna need it."
Sighing, he walked her to the door and deliberately bent over to kiss Lorelai, but she moved slightly. His mouth turned downward in disappointment, but he grasped her shoulder and held her in place, giving her a soft kiss and whispering, "You I'd notice anywhere."
She kept her cool stare for a moment more, but soon her heart began to soften. A little, just a little. "You ever hear of revenge shopping?"
He shook his head no.
"Wait until this afternoon. You'll see." Pleased at the confused look on his face, she escorted her daughter out the door.
Loaded with bags from her shopping trip, Lorelai paused in front of a window and pondered the sight. A beautiful family sat there, handsome man, drop-dead gorgeous woman and an excited lovely teenage girl. It looked like all was right with their world.
With one exception. It was her daughter and her boyfriend sitting with not-Lorelai.
Rachel was animatedly speaking to Rory, while both Rory and Luke were laughing. If she'd been a cartoon character, her eyes would be bugging out of her head while her face turned pea-green with envy.
Instead, she set her shoulders, pushed the jealousy into its proper place and entered the diner with all the grace of a queen. She turned regally toward the trio at the window and promptly tripped over Rachel's open camera bag, her shopping and purse scattering over the floor while she waved her arms wildly, barely avoiding landing on her butt.
"Hey, are you OK?" asked Luke as he solicitously jumped up to help her. Rory picked up the shopping bags as Luke brought Lorelai to the chair he'd been occupying. "I'll get you some coffee."
"Mom! Rachel has arranged for me to shadow her for a couple of days!" Rory was bouncing in her seat. "She has the best stories. You should hear the one about the elephant rampage in Thailand."
Lorelai's back straightened and her face turned white as visions of a red-headed Christiane Amanpour shoving her daughter in front of a group of marauding pachyderms. "I don't want you going anywhere dangerous."
Rachel laughed at Lorelai's discomfiture. "Don't look so worried, Mom, we're staying between here and Hartford."
"Oh ho ho, I've seen the seamy side of Hartford. Don't forget I was a teenager there once," she cautioned.
"What," scoffed Luke as he returned with Lorelai's coffee. "Are they arming trust fund babies with Kalashnikovs now?" He squeezed her shoulder and gave her a kiss on the head.
"Do not mock me, my friend. Christopher wrecked the Porsche he got for his sixteenth birthday the first night he went out in it."
"Oh, that's a great idea for your school newspaper, Rory," suggested Rachel. "The impact of car accidents on high school students. Maybe with a few choice photographs."
"Fantastic idea, Rachel! I'll talk to Paris tonight. She loves a hot button issue."
"Good, we'll keep our eyes open for good photo opportunities. Can you research where the most accidents occur in Hartford?"
Rory puzzled for a moment, then smiled. "You know, I think Grandpa could find out some information. He's in insurance, you know."
Rachel nodded. "What would also be nice is an interview. Do you think you could talk to your dad about his accident, you know, as a warning to others?"
Lorelai laughed at that. "He's still driving a motorcycle, living like a nomad. Good luck finding that guy."
"Oh no, Mom, I've been talking to him every few days," said Rory. "I'm sure he can find some time. The only thing is, he almost rolled the Indian trying to do a wheelie the other day."
Lorelai and Luke exchanged worried glances. "You'd better never be on that motorcycle when he's doing that stuff!" she said excitedly. "I can't believe he's still doing that! I mean, he's 32 years old!"
Dean rapped on the window and waved at the table. Rory smiled. "I can't wait to tell him about this! Thanks again Rachel, I'll let you know if the school gives me some time off for this as soon as I know."
"Hey," said Dean as he came inside. "Do you finally have some time for me? I've missed you this week." Looking at the table, he judiciously gave Rory a hug instead of a kiss due to Luke's arched eyebrow and downturned mouth.
"What do you mean?" asked Lorelai. "Aren't you playing kissy face every day after school? Who's got the prettiest hair?"
"This one," Dean said, ruffling Rory's hair, "has been in Hartford almost every day this week until nearly six. We've barely talked."
Not wanting to tell her mother that she'd been with her dad and her grandmothers, Rory hustled him out the door, only briefly being stopped by Luke to confirm their workday at the cabin for the next day.
"Speaking of the cabin," said Lorelai, "I've got some things to show you. You are going to love them!"
Lorelai dug about in her shopping bags, giving Rachel enough time to take the hint and leave, but she sat there with her iced tea, smiling politely.
After a moment longer, Lorelai gave up. "You know, Luke, there's so much stuff here, I'd hate to take over two tables. Let's go upstairs and I'll show you what I bought."
Finally taking the hint, Rachel said, "I'll hold the fort down here, Luke. It's a lull anyway, so you should go take a break."
Upstairs, Luke flopped down onto the sofa. "How much did this excursion set us back?" he groaned.
"Did you hire her?" queried Lorelai archly as she piled bags on the coffee table. "I mean, she's always here. I think she sees more of you than I do."
"I don't know, Lorelai," he said wearily. "When I do notice that she's here, she's visiting with someone. I get about a hundred people through here a day. I'm really not paying attention. She's a customer and an old friend."
"A customer who runs the diner when you're gone? If you'd wanted someone like that, I know Kirk's been applying for that job for years!"
"Kirk is never getting that job. And Rachel doesn't work here, she never did. When we were together, she just kinda did things. She has an uncanny ability to fit in no matter where she goes. That's what makes her good at her job."
Luke turned and lay flat on the sofa, rubbing his temples. It had been a busy day, and now Lorelai was starting up with her concerns about Rachel again. He hid a small smile as it occurred to him that she was a little jealous.
"C'mere," he said, pulling her to lie down next to him on the sofa.
Lorelai glowered at him for a second, then gave in, taking his outstretched arm and cuddling up closely to him. She playfully poked her chin into his chest a couple of times.
"Ouch," he joked. "We talked about Rachel already. What's up?"
"That was before she became your assistant manager, Luke. She probably has one of those paper hats like soda jerks wear in her back pocket. Now she's going to take Rory to the Hell's Kitchen of Hartford, and Christopher's rolling his motorcycle right in front of her and how long before Rory's doing wheelies on a hog, and I don't even know what she does in Hartford after school every day and why didn't she tell me any of this?"
"Ok, ok, let's deal with this one thing at a time. First, kiss."
"Start with the making out? Wise man," she smiled as she dove in for her kiss and canoodling.
"Hey, Luke," A minute or two later, the door burst open.
"Oh, sorry, I guess I forgot to knock," said Rachel as she walked directly into the apartment, where Luke and Lorelai were necking on the sofa.
Lorelai flashed Luke eye-daggers before pushing away from him slowly.
Rachel looked back down the stairs, then over at them. "Uh, Luke, I've got to go, and it's starting to get busy down there." As the couple's position began to sink in, her cheeks turned a beautiful shade of pink. "Ok then, I'm gonna go. See you around."
She dashed back down the stairs.
"Now see, that's one of those places where she didn't 'just fit in;' that was really awkward." She looked at him. "At least it better have been awkward," she cautioned him.
A low rumbling chuckle grew in his chest. "Definitely awkward for her," he agreed. "Me, I'm starting to like this little feisty thing you've got going on."
"I'll show you feisty!" Luke fought Lorelai off as she began a tickle attack.
Laughing as he pushed her away, Luke sat up with a grin. "You never showed me what you bought," he said as he pulled on a handle of one of the bags, looking inside as if something were about to jump out at him.
"I found the best sale in men's clothes! Six hundred percent off for the softest pants you ever felt. Of course I forgot to buy the new lock for your apartment door," she added pointedly, pulling him to his feet.
"Those pants better not be sparkly," he warned as he straightened her shirt, making sure all of her buttons were closed.
"What? I can't dress my man in a little glitter once in a while?"
"Never!" he demanded.
"Wait until I show you the curtains I bought for our bedroom in the cabin. The loveliest pink with ruffles and tie-backs. They are going to go so well with the kitten wallpaper I have planned."
"No kittens!" he grumbled as they made their way back downstairs.
"On the count of three… One, two, three!" Dean and Luke grunted as they lifted an impossibly large half log into place on two notched logs laid crosswise.
"Great, that's the last one," said Luke, breathing heavily. He wiped his forehead on his arm. "Looks good, though, doesn't it? This picnic table will last for thirty years."
Luke reached into the cooler and pulled out two beers. He popped the top off both of them and set them on the table. Taking one, he nudged the other toward Dean.
Dean's confused look was met by Luke's brief, "No judge, no jury," he said as he turned away from the table and looked out over the lake. Both men drank thirstily.
The cabin built thirty years ago by Luke's father William and his brother Louie had now been completely renovated, bringing it up to a modestly comfortable modern standard. Two large and two small bedrooms, a bath and a half, and an expansive deck both on the side and the back of the building.
The area around the cabin had been built up since he was a child, but they'd owned enough land that Luke could still be assured of privacy when he needed his time alone.
That alone time for fishing was probably gone now, one more way his life had changed since Lorelai and Rory became his family in relationship if not by marriage yet. He recalled his father and Louie talking about their all-men campouts, but those had gone away when William married. Now Luke had hope of a future with Lorelai, Rory and one day perhaps a bigger family.
"This is a great cabin, Luke. Something like this would have cost a fortune back in Chicago."
"Yeah, it's been a good investment here, too," the older man replied. "You did good work here, Dean. Did you ever think about construction work?"
"Yeah," he replied. "I was thinking about asking Tom if he's got any part-time openings, but he never seems to be hiring."
"It's a good job around here. Tom's a solid businessman, and the company's profitable. You could do worse. He gave me summer work a couple of times. Learned a lot."
Luke looked at Dean, then took both empty bottles and put them back in the cooler. "I'll talk to him, see if I can do something. Good work should be rewarded."
"We're hungry!" chirped Lorelai as she and Rory came out onto the deck, lugging the cooler with the picnic foods between them.
"Grill's almost ready. Got it started before Dean and I got the picnic table put together. How's it going inside?"
"All done, Luke. I managed to keep Mom away from the kitten wallpaper. We painted it a nice blue and put up a couple of pictures of sailboats."
When they sat down to eat, Rory launched into what was yet another oration on the upcoming shadowing day with Rachel.
"So we're going to be in Stars Hollow and environs in the morning, pursuing the essence of small-town life. In the afternoon Dad is going to meet us for lunch in Hartford, although he did mention maybe coming here instead, but Rachel suggested that Hartford would be much better because we could go to the Porsche-Lamborghini dealer and find out more about the kinds of cars teenagers like my classmates at Chilton drive. Did you know that there are actually two kids with Lamborghinis? Later we'll meet with Rachel's editor to hear what goes on in the office. At the end of the day we'll go see the police. Rachel has arranged for a little ride-along in which we get to see traffic cops in action around Hartford Prep Academy, which is where the really rich kids go. They call Chilton the loser school," she finished before going back to her food. "This tastes great, Luke, thanks!"
Rory had an audience more in name only than people who were actually listening to her. Dean, with a touch of the beer still in his system, was getting more and more down because of the frequency with which Rory was talking about her Hartford family, Rachel and Chilton. He grew even more downcast thinking about the fact that teenagers at Chilton were driving around in cars that were worth more than the house his parents had bought when they moved to Stars Hollow.
Luke was torn between wondering what the hell environs were, and if you could get a disease from them, and watching the steam rolling out of Lorelai's ears. He couldn't tell what was bothering her more – that Rachel was mentioned in every breath Rory took, or that Christopher featured strongly in areas that Lorelai couldn't help. He looked behind him to see if the spray bottle had enough water in it to cool down the explosion that would surely come from Lorelai very soon.
"So, uh, how about if we take the boat out next weekend for the day?" he began awkwardly.
The awkwardness was quickly replaced by Lorelai's sweet voice, laced with tension, the kind of tension that Luke had learned early in his relationship with her. He recalled Rory telling him that 'I'm fine" meant anything but that she was fine. In fact, when it was accompanied by an exclamation point, she was so far from fine that any conciliatory statement would spawn an argument.
"How much school work will you have to make up?" she asked. "Chilton is really unforgiving when it comes to missed classes."
"Oh, Grandma took care of that for me," Rory said glibly. "As long as I write about the shadowing, I can take all the time I need for my Shakespeare paper, and my grade average will be adjusted to the work I actually get done. I'm so glad Paris told me that all I had to do was talk to Grandma. She really knows all the ins and outs of Chilton."
"Geez," said Luke, "when I was in school, it was either have my ass in my seat or get detention."
"I don't like it," said Lorelai. "It sounds a lot more like a skip day than a learning experience. How are you going to get into Harvard if you're off gallivanting?"
Rory's phone rang and she held up a finger toward her mom, who sat there, shocked by her daughter's audacity. "Sorry, it's Grandma. You know how mad she'll get if I don't pick up." She wandered off around the corner of the deck to speak with Emily.
Dean poked miserably at the charcoal fire while Luke pulled the sharp grill fork that Lorelai was trying to thread marshmallows on out of her hands.
"Take it easy, Lorelai, don't stab yourself."
"I'll tell you who I'd like to stab," she fumed. "The Headmaster of Chilton. Chilton wasn't supposed to be this way. Rory's supposed to go to school, come home and have a normal life, then get into Harvard. All of this extra stuff is crazy!"
Luke handed Lorelai the fork nicely filled with marshmallows. She promptly and angrily caught them all immediately on fire.
Luke placed his hand over hers and blew out the flaming sugar bombs.
Rory ran back to the table, a gigantic smile on her face. "Guess what, Mom! Grandma says I'm coming out!"