The Long And Winding Road
Chapter 71 -- A Girl Like You
"So…" JT spoke up while holding his fiancée's hands in his and looking into her eyes, "what do you think?"
The couple was standing in the middle of a vacant apartment's empty living room. It was a mid-morning in early August. With two weeks until their wedding day, the pair still hadn't reached a final decision about where they would live.
"I'll admit this is my favorite of all the places we've looked at," Emma answered. "And it's certainly in a good location."
"Not too far from TMD," JT said in agreement. "Or the university for that matter."
"Close enough to the neighborhood and our friends and family," Emma added, "but with just enough distance so there's a real sense of being on our own and not just down the block. If that makes sense."
"It does," he confirms.
"And it's a second-floor apartment," she added, "which we were hoping for."
In their research, the couple had read that robberies are more likely to happen with first-floor apartments than those on upper levels.
"Yeah," he said, nodding. "Another plus."
JT has known Emma long enough, however, to sense that as much as she really liked this apartment she was not completely sold on it.
"But…" he prompted.
"It's just that I remember when we were first looking at apartments months ago," she began to explain. "Back when I thought we were just looking at places for you, not knowing that you were planning on proposing. This apartment seems a little bigger than what you had in mind at the time."
"I know. But the more I've been thinking about it, the more it makes sense to have a small spare room. Right now you've got the big desk in your bedroom. Between our bed, your stuff and my stuff, there's not going to be much extra space in what'll be our bedroom for that desk. But, we could put it in the spare room and set up the computer in there."
"It WOULD make for a nice workspace we could both really use," Emma said, starting to see what JT had in mind.
"Without having to spend too many extra hours away from each other, my favorite newlywed-to-be," he added.
"True. I'm sure it's going to be tough enough at first to be apart during the day."
"At first?" JT repeated, pretending to sound offended, which amused Emma.
"So with that being the case," she continued, "me spending a lot of late night hours at the library writing a paper or you staying extra late at the office working on the next big promotional campaign would be torture."
"We'll be able to give each other some space to get stuff done, but with easy access to one another for those much needed breaks. I'm predicting the need for lots of breaks, by the way."
Though JT's last comment – as he intended – made her laugh, Emma liked his way of thinking in that regard. She was sure they'd both be anxious to get to those breaks. And on a more serious level, she agreed with the practicality of having such a workspace. She also had a hunch that this was another way in which JT was encouraging her career goals, since that room would make it that much more possible to write at length.
There was, however, one more concern that Emma needed to voice.
"And the cost?" she questioned.
"A few extra bucks a month," JT replied. "You've been keeping the record of prices for all the places we've looked at. So you know there doesn't seem to be a predictable pattern to all this. Some of the one-bedroom apartments we've seen around town were nearly as much as this two-bedroom. Ones we didn't even bother to look at were even higher. This can fit in the budget we put together, and – even more important – give us more time together even when we both have a lot to do."
"That's all true," she agreed.
"Besides, we both know the thing that's really going to kill our budget," JT added.
"Speak for yourself. I have no idea what you're talking about."
"Having to buy a new mattress ever few weeks."
Emma laughed, which merely encouraged him to keep going.
"Come on, Emma. You know we're going to keep wearing them out."
"You are so bad sometimes, James Tiberius," she pretended to scold him.
"Which is why you're marrying me," he remarked, smirking.
"One of many reasons."
Without moving away from JT, Emma looked once more at the room they stood in.
"You know," she soon spoke up, "as we were walking through each room – and even while we were examining for any possible problems we'd want fixed before moving in – I could easily picture the two of us very much at home here."
"So you're saying…"
"I'm saying…let's go tell the lady in the office to put together a rental agreement. We've found our place."
"Yes!" JT shouted enthusiastically as he pulled Emma into a hug.
Several hours later, Spinner and Liberty were sitting in his car, which was parked along the curb outside of her house. The two friends had just finished having lunch together, and he was dropping her off before going back to work.
"So Liberty, there's something I've been meaning to ask you," Spinner revealed, with a look of curiosity on his face.
"What might that be?"
"Well, with JT's wedding coming up soon, I've gotta know…are you gonna have to wear a tux? I mean, obviously you're not a guy, but you're the best man. Kinda."
"No tuxedo, thankfully," she replied. "As Best Person, I can get away with wearing a dress."
"That's good. Not that you couldn't look good in a suit. But it would just be really strange."
"You mean you've never been curious to try on a dress?" Liberty teased.
"No, I could never be one of those transdressites," Spinner replied.
"What's that?" she asked, unfamiliar with the word he was using.
"Men who walk around all day dressed up like women," he explained, causing Liberty to figure out what he was talking about.
"I think you mean transvestites," she said as a suggestion rather than trying to sound like she was trying to correct him.
"No, I think that's only the name for women who dress up like men," Spinner responded after considering her words. "Because it has 'vest' in the name. So for men dressing like women you'd probably have 'dress' in the name. So it would be transdressites. I think."
Liberty smiled. Even though she knew he was incorrect, she appreciated his reasoning.
"Okay, Gavin. Now it's my turn to ask you a question. And don't worry…it has nothing to do with trading wardrobes."
Spinner laughed while also growing curious since he noticed that Liberty now had a serious look on her face.
"What is it, Liberty?"
"I would like you to…"
She stopped short of finishing her sentence, realizing that it was wrongly coming out sounding more like an order than a question.
"Gavin," she began again, "would you go to the wedding with me? Not as two friends going there together but…as my date?"
"Your date?"
"I know I must sound awfully bold, but I hope this isn't completely unexpected. After all, I'm sure you've noticed that I tend to speak boldly at times. Not always, however. I was certainly very hesitant when it came to entering my last relationship. When I asked for JT's advice at that time, he said that I'm never hesitant when it comes to knowing what I really want. That I go for it, even at the risk of not succeeding. JT was right, and I should have trusted those instincts and not started going out with the one who shall remain nameless.
"And now, with you, I don't feel the slightest hesitance in admitting that I would like to go out with you. Obviously, though, it would depend on how you feel about the idea. You should also know that if you'd prefer to remain friends solely, I'll be okay with that. The friendship we've developed over this summer is special to me, and I don't want to lose that regardless of anything else. I'm not trying to make this an either/or situation. I just know that I had to take the risk and tell you what I'm thinking."
"I do have a problem with your idea, Liberty," Spinner said once she was finished.
"Oh," Liberty responded, hoping to mask her disappointment. "Well, as I said, it won't affect…"
"The problem," he interrupted, "is that this wedding is still two weeks away. I don't want to have to wait that long before our first date."
Liberty smiled, relieved by the nature of his so-called problem, and happy to know that her interest in him wasn't one-sided. Spinner, too, was extremely happy. The more he'd come to know Liberty, the more he'd hoped that something more could happen. But he wanted it to be when she was sure she was ready to date again. Also, having learned how pushy and obnoxious Patrick had been, Spinner was willing to just let things happen naturally.
"So yes, I'd really like to be your date for the wedding, but I'd also like to take you out this week for our first date."
"I think that's a superb idea," she told him.
"I'm closing up tonight, but do you want to go out tomorrow night?"
As with her decision to ask Spinner out, Liberty similarly had no hesitance when it came to answering his question in the affirmative.
Later on that afternoon at TMD, JT was sitting in his office looking over some invoices when the phone rang. Though it had only been a few hours since they were together, JT was more the happy that the caller was Emma.
"Just wanted to let you know I spoke to Manny," she explained, "and she and Sean are free for tonight."
"Great. After dinner, we can show them our apartment."
"JT, you do get the fact that we can't just walk right in yet, don't you? It's not officially ours until next week."
"I know," he confirmed. "They've got a week to clean the carpet and take care of a few other little odds and ends. Then later on next week, we'll get the keys and be able to start moving most of our stuff in. That way, when we get back from our honeymoon, we're not coming back to an empty apartment. It'll be all ready for us. But as for tonight, we can at least show them the outside of the building. Let them see where we're going to live."
"I still can't believe we finally found THE place that's going to be OUR place," Emma commented excitedly.
This discussion then reminded JT of something that had been on his mind.
"Oh, I forgot to ask you this morning… Is Jack still bummed?"
"Maybe a little," Emma answered. "Even though he's still too young to really understand about us getting married, he knows it means you and I will be living somewhere different, and he was disappointed that you couldn't just move into the house."
"No worries, Emma. Next time I see him, I'll make sure he knows we're moving but we're not going away. Then I'll tell him all about how there's going to be a big cake on the day we get married. Once he starts thinking about a cake that for him will practically be life-sized, there won't be room in his mind for any disappointments."
"Good plan."
Just then, JT received another phone call.
"Hey Emma, my other line's ringing. Mind if I put you on hold for a sec?"
"No problem."
After placing Emma on hold, JT answered the other call.
"JT?" the voice on the other end questioned after JT's customary greeting.
JT, recognizing the voice but not expecting it, didn't immediately answer.
"Um…yeah," he finally responded. "Please hold."
JT quickly put the caller on hold, then pushed the button to return to Emma's line.
"I'm back."
"You were missed," she greeted him.
"On the other line…it's Toby," JT revealed. "What do you think HE wants?"
"What did he say?" Emma questioned.
"Not much. I put him on hold."
"JT…"
"He and I haven't talked in forever. Waiting another minute or two won't hurt him."
"I'm guessing he's called to RSVP," Emma suggested. "He's one of the few we sent an invitation to that we were still waiting to hear back from."
"Okay, that makes sense," JT accepted.
"I'll let you go so you can talk to him," Emma then told him.
"If you must… Oh, what time should I pick you up tonight?"
"I've got something I still need to do this afternoon," she explained. "And taking traffic into account, how about I just meet the three of you at Ryan's around 6:30?"
"No problem."
"Love you, Jamie. And while you're talking to Toby, try not to sound too eager to get him off the phone. It wouldn't surprise me if he were also calling you because he felt guilty about his response – or rather his non-response – to what happened. After all, he could have just as easily called me to RSVP."
"Love you too, angel. But as for Toby…no promises."
With their conversation at its end, JT pushed a button to once more speak with Toby.
"I'm back," JT announced. "Sorry about that."
"No problem," Toby responded, some uneasiness evident in his voice. "Hi JT."
The young man was sitting in the living room of the home he shared with his father. Though he had initially considered sending JT an email, ultimately he knew he should do this by phone.
"Hello there, Toby," JT returned the greeting in a somewhat more formal tone than he would normally use. "It's been a long time. What have you been up to?"
"Well…last month I was made a mod on this anime-related message board I've been posting to. And…"
"That's big, Toby. Congrats on that."
"Thanks, but…"
"My turn," JT interrupted. "Let's see… I bought a business, graduated, nearly died, got engaged to Emma, got my first commercial made and on the air… Too soon to know how much of an effect that ad will have on business. Oh, and last month I bought a new pair of shoes. Sounds like we've both had a busy year so far."
"I thought you were asking about the more recent past," Toby said. "So anyway, I wanted to call and let you know I got the wedding invitation. I'll be there."
"That's good to know. We'll mark you down. If there's nothing else, I'm sure we both have things to…"
"JT, I… The other reason I wanted to call you was to explain."
When JT didn't say anything in response, Toby decided to continue.
"The day Ash called and told me what Jay had done, at first it didn't seem real to me. That's the sort of thing that happens to other people. Not to someone you feel like you know as well as you know yourself. Awhile after talking to her, I was in my car in the driveway for probably a half-hour. Just sitting there, knowing I should go to Toronto. If not, then I at least needed to make a phone call. But we'd stopped keeping in touch. It had been probably a year since you and I had talked, and I wasn't sure…"
"Believe me when I tell that none of what you're talking about has kept me awake at night," JT stopped him.
It was true that Toby's lack of any attempt at communication with him following the stabbing wasn't something he thought about often or for any extended length of time. Still, on those occasions when the idea did cross his mind, it annoyed him.
"So it's okay to be honest and just say you couldn't be bothered," JT continued. "That's better than some crap excuse that you didn't think you should say anything since we'd lost touch. Because you know that if something happened to you today, even after all this time, me and Emma would be on the road so we could get to you and help out. Or at the very least we'd be on the phone."
"I'm not trying to make any excuses," Toby countered. "Only explaining what I was thinking. You're right, JT. I know you would have been in contact. And from past experience I know it would have been the right thing at the right time. After my eating…situation…a few years ago – the situation that resulted in me passing out on the gym floor in the middle of a wrestling match – you were right there for me. Telling me things were going to get better. Reminding me I had people in my life that I was worrying and so I needed to stop what I'd been doing. Letting me know that I'd even managed to shake up my best friend, the usually unshakable JT Yorke. All while somehow finding a way to make me laugh in spite of everything. I've never forgotten that.
"But that's not something I can do. Not that I wouldn't want to, but I've never been good at coming up with the right words after bad things have happened to people close to me. Computer disaster? No problem. I'm all over it. Using the computer to help solve a problem during a crisis – like when we had to find Emma after she got mixed up with that online guy? Consider it done. But being in the moment and knowing what to say and how to say it? We haven't talked in a year, and suddenly I'm going to reappear acting like some stammering, bumbling distraction at the worst possible time? You didn't need that."
"Next time, you let me decide that," JT said sternly.
"You're right. If nothing else, I could have written. I know I made the wrong choice, and I'm sorry I wasn't around in some way. I'd say that I'd do a lot better next time, but I don't want there to have to be a next time."
JT sighed. He wanted to remain annoyed, but he could hear the genuine regret in Toby's voice. And he also had no desire to waste time or energy dwelling on the matter.
"Absolutely no next times," he then said to Toby, his voice losing some of its harshness. "That's something we can agree about."
"Yeah…I guess that's a start," Toby suggested. " So how ARE you doing? The times I've talked to Ash, she said you seem like you're better."
"I'm good," JT replied simply. Even though he wasn't going to hold a grudge, he also didn't feel motivated to go into great detail.
"I was glad to get the invitation," Toby said once it was clear that JT wasn't going to expand on his "I'm good" response.
Since, all things considered, it would likely disappoint Toby to know that that sending him the invitation was Emma's idea, JT decided not to mention it.
"So we'll see you there?" JT questioned.
"I wouldn't miss it," Toby answered quickly. "By the way, it says on the invitation that you can bring a guest."
"Right."
"I mention that because there's someone I'd like to bring with me."
"No problem. It's been a long time since we've seen your dad."
"Very funny," Toby responded, appreciating that JT at least seemed comfortable enough with him again to make the sarcastic comment. "I was thinking more in terms of the person I've been going out with for the past few months."
"I guess you HAVE been busy, Toby. Of course you should bring her along. But you'd better warn her what to expect from you. That is, if she doesn't already know."
"Know what?"
"How you'll probably start in on your belief that it would be so much better if there was pie at the reception instead of cake."
"I wouldn't do that," Toby claimed. "Obviously there's no such thing as a wedding pie."
"Or a birthday pie," JT said as their conversation was gradually becoming more relaxed and informal. "But that never stopped you from having pie every year on your birthday. But I admit it was always fun watching Ashley's mom try to get candles to stay in place long enough for you to blow them out. Now imagine trying to stick a tiny bride and groom on top of an apple pie."
"I like cake, JT. It's just that when I have a choice, I'd rather have pie."
"Pie is okay sometimes, but that's just crazy talk. Not only does cake work as a dessert with any type of meal, but it comes in any size, from a cupcake fit for one person to a huge cake for dozens of people. You can always build onto a cake, but have you ever heard of a seven-layer pie?"
This made Toby laugh.
"This discussion could probably go on for an hour," Toby remarked.
"I think one time it did."
JT realized they had started talking similarly to how they used to back when he considered Toby his closest friend after Emma and Manny. But that's basically what the last few moments of the phone call had been – a recycled conversation. He felt as though he was now simply going through the motions, unlike during his conversations with the people he considered his friends. The people JT talked to on a regular basis. Whereas he and Toby haven't spoken in a long time, yet he was feeling at a loss for something to say. Or at least anything JT has an interest in sharing with him.
It wasn't even a matter of being annoyed that Toby didn't attempt to reach out after the stabbing. Their formerly close friendship simply didn't seem as though it could still work now that they were a little older and appeared to have less in common. And though there have been any number of times when JT put forth the extra effort to either build a new friendship or work to strengthen an existing one, he wasn't feeling that same need to try and make this one work. Still, JT now agreed with Emma that Toby belonged at the wedding, if only for old time's sake and what had once been a good friendship.
"I should really get back to work now," JT said, ready to bring this conversation to a close.
"I know."
"But I think this was a good call. I'm glad you said what you did. Don't worry, Tobes. If a part of me was mad at you before, that's gone now."
Toby was pleased to hear JT finally call him Tobes again. JT had been the one who first started calling him that, and it seemed to catch on within their circle of friends. To Toby, the fact that JT had now used the name again meant that things were okay between them. But he also knew, perhaps instinctively, that after the wedding they probably weren't going to suddenly start having more conversations and become close again. Some childhood friendships – such as JT's with Emma – continue and grow even beyond what one would have ever imagined. Others – such as JT's with Toby – had their special place and time. They don't necessarily come to an end, but they can't be the same as they once were. Despite this, Toby was glad that the two of them were at least on better terms again.
"So…you're sure I'll see you at the wedding?" JT asked before they wrapped up this phone call.
"I wouldn't miss it," Toby answered with certainty.
Emma had earlier told JT she had something to do before meeting him and their friends for dinner. Late afternoon found her at her planned destination – standing before the grave of the one who would have become her mother-in-law, Jillian Yorke.
"I'll admit I'm not really sure how this is done," Emma began talking. "Whether I should go ahead and speak as though you were here, or simply think what I would say without voicing it. I've always believed in God and the notion of an afterlife, even though I can probably count on one hand the number of times I've been to church in the last 18 years. But I'm not sure if being in Heaven means you're completely removed from what happens here in the land of the living, or if a part of you is still able to hear – or even sense – the words directed toward you. Still, I know from what JT told me that he felt a sense of communication and understanding with you when he came out here that morning a couple months ago. So here I am."
Emma then smiled.
"Two weeks from today we're getting married. In some ways it feels like it's taking forever to get to that day. In other ways it feels like time is flying by and I barely have a chance to catch my breath. I'll admit I'm a little nervous. But it's that kind of nervous feeling that's due to being excited and eager, not apprehensive.
"Anyway, with everything that's happening these days, while there's still time I wanted to come out here and…"
She paused and thought for a moment.
"What IS there that I could say that you wouldn't already know? Even so, there are a few things I wanted to tell you. Things I wish to God I could say to you in person. But somehow, some way, I feel like you'll be able to hear me.
"First and foremost, I love your son. Completely and without question. Even when I think he's determined to drive me crazy. And I'm continuing to discover new levels for how deep this love is. I also know how much he loves me too. I can feel it every time he looks at me or says something to me.
"None of that means I'm thinking unrealistically about marriage. I know it's not all one big honeymoon. It's going to take work. Give and take. For one thing, even with all that we know about each another, sharing living space will no doubt introduce a brand new set of challenges. Okay, it's true that I was practically living at the house with him those first few days he was out of the hospital, but that was different. But up to now, all the ups and downs we've been through have only made us stronger. So even if the period of adjustment won't always be smooth, there's no one else I'd want to share this experience with. No one else I'd want to share my life with.
"I also want to assure you that I will do my absolute best to take care of him. We've always had a knack for looking out for one another, and that will only get stronger once we're married."
At this point, Emma knelt down. Her eyes focused on the late woman's name.
"If there had been any way for me to have protected him that night in his office… The night he almost died. The night my world nearly shattered into a million irreparable pieces. It was so hard at first not to feel like I had let him down in some way, but he was quick to change my attitude about that.
"It's taken time – more than he would have preferred, I know – but he's much more at ease in his surroundings again. I think there's a part of him that's always going to feel somewhat more guarded than he was before the stabbing, and I suppose that's inevitable. But he's still JT. With the generally upbeat attitude. With that grin that appears on his face when he's either got a joke to tell or an outrageous new idea up his sleeve…or both. Not even a cretin with a knife could do permanent damage to JT's spirit."
Emma then reached out with her right hand and placed it on the top of the gravestone.
"Even though you're not here in person, I know you would be happy for us. You brought this great person into the world, and I thank you."
Letting go of the gravestone, she stood up.
"Now…if only you could tell me the secret to being patient. It's probably one of those mysteries of life we don't get to uncover until after we're gone.
"Two weeks never seemed so far away."
Next Chapter – Time's up!