A/N: I own no part of Twilight. If you didn't read the previous chapter, go back and do that right now before reading this one.

And of course, enjoy.

XXXV.

you say you're lonely
i say you'll think about it

Charlie sadly shook his head as he hung his coat on the rack by the front door. "I just don't know what to do with ya, kid."

After she entered the house approximately thirty-five minutes after the fight had started, Bella made a beeline to the kitchen, in search of a package of frozen peas. She found one and placed it against her right cheekbone, where she had been hit the hardest. She winced and took a seat at the kitchen table.

"I needed to defend myself," she said weakly. In reality, she didn't know why she had fought Leah. She had wanted to end the dispute, but not like that. Bella wasn't good at fighting. The only thing she was good at was getting her ass kicked. She was also good at not thinking with her head.

"You're an adult," Charlie replied, taking a seat across from her at the table. "If you have a problem with somebody, you use your words to fix it. You don't show up at the beach with a padlock in a sock and razor blades. And since you're an adult, I should probably treat you like one with the law. That was first degree aggravated assault, Bells."

"I wasn't gonna kill her," she said bluntly. "We were just a couple kids fighting at the beach. It's not really that big of a deal."

"You'll be twenty in a little over a month," he reminded her. "You're not a kid anymore, Bells. And you had weapons, which really is that big of a deal."

"But I didn't use them."

"You still had them."

Bella scoffed.

Charlie took a minute to think, like he was really considering something.

"Look," he began. "I'll let this one go for both you and Leah, but you need to get it together. I don't wanna have to send you to Florida for fighting. It's not like you. And besides, I thought you and Leah were friends. You went on vacation with her. So what happened?" He was in full-on detective mode now, but he sounded like he was trying not to be.

Bella looked down and shook her head. "It's a long story," she said, "but me and her… we just don't get along. I don't think we ever will. Have you ever known somebody like that?"

"There are some people you can't just get through to, but I always try to make peace with people, you know? 'Cause it's better to spread good than bad or whatever that cheesy saying is. It works, though, because I don't feel bad afterward."

"I feel bad," Bella admitted. "It was my fault, and I don't wanna be on bad terms with Leah anymore." It was true. Leah was one of the best friends Bella was ever going to have, and she might have lost her for good. Bella was good at losing people, but she didn't want to be. Aside from her bringing blades and a padlock to the fight, she usually had good intentions, but she was just misunderstood. She couldn't afford to be misunderstood anymore, though. She'd eventually stop getting so many chances to reiterate her point. She might be out of chances now.

"Then you have to fix things the right way," Charlie told her.

"How, Dad?"

"Invite her over for dinner."

She laughed softly through her nose. "Is that how you get your enemies to like you again?"

"It works, I swear," he assured her with a silly smile. "You just kill 'em with the kindness of a good meal."

"I'm just finding it hard to believe that anybody could hate you so much that you've had to cook for them just to make it all better."

"I haven't had too many enemies in my day, but I'm stubborn."

"I'll say," she agreed.

"You're still grounded," he said as he stood up, making his way to his recliner in the living room. "You weren't arrested, but you sure as hell didn't escape punishment."

Anything's better than being arrested again, she thought. I'd rather be grounded for a year than in jail for a day.

"How grounded?" she asked.

"You can leave the house for work and that's it." He plopped down into the chair and turned on the television. SportsCenter blared, and he didn't make an effort to turn it down. "The Newtons have been calling, by the way. You might wanna check in with them before you get fired."

"They can't afford to fire me," Bella said plainly. She was their best and most loyal employee, which said a lot about the other ones. The Newtons needed her.

"I don't know, Bells..."

"I'll go by there Monday, but I'll call tomorrow," she said. "I think I'll be fully recovered by then."

"Did you have a good time in Seaside, though?" he asked. "I never got to really hear about it. You slept for two days straight after getting back and I didn't see you until tonight at the beach."

"Seaside was okay," she said shortly. "I had a little fun."

"I'm glad you got the experience and made some memories. Glad you've got some friends up here you can do that kind of stuff with."

"Me, too. I just hope to God I can keep these friends." She was afraid of the verity in her desperation.

"Do the right thing, Bells. I know you can."

When Bella woke up the next morning, Friday, it was late. The sun created shapes along her bare skin. She laid in bed for a while, watching the shapes move across her body as the clouds simultaneously moved across the sky. She didn't have any desire to do anything or go anywhere. She merely wanted to exist. And exist quietly, at that.

The house phone interrupted her quietness, forcing her to climb out of bed. She went downstairs and picked up the phone just before the call could drop.

"Hello?"

"Bella?"

"Oh, hey, Karen," Bella said as brightly as she could. "How are you?"

"I'm fine." Her voice was sharp. "How have you been?"

"I've been… okay. I was injured during my vacation."

"Oh?"

"Yeah." Bella tried to sound sorry. "I fell down a staircase. I know, super embarrassing. It was pretty bad. I've just been trying to recover. I'm sorry I haven't been calling, though. There's no excuse."

Karen's voice softened. "There isn't," she said, "but take the weekend to recover, okay? I just wanted to make sure you were still alive and everything." She laughed weakly.

Bella tried to laugh back. "Yeah, well, I am," she said. "I think I'll be able to work Monday."

"I hope so. Can you open?"

"Yes. I'll see you then."

"Thank you, Bella."

"Of course, Karen."

Bella hung up and wiped away the bead of sweat rolling down her forehead. She needed to find a new job. Preferably one where she wouldn't have to lie so much.

She looked under the phone and realized she had never noticed the list of numbers taped to the wall underneath. The list contained the number of Charlie's go-to pizza place, one of Renee's old numbers, and the familiar number of Billy Black's home.

In that moment, Bella hated herself for ever forgetting the fact that Jacob Black existed.

She instinctively dialed the number and waited. She wouldn't mind if he didn't pick up. What was she to him, anyway, but a forgettable fling? They had dated for a little while and fucked for a week straight, and then she had broken up with him. Just like that. And while she couldn't pinpoint exactly where they'd go from here, she needed the camaraderie.

She hoped to whatever God was listening that he was still a good kid and would want to talk to her.

The ringing took forever. Maybe he was avoiding her. She would have. She was about to hang up when he finally answered, his husky voice asking, "Hello?"

"Hey, Jake," she said. "It's Bella."

"Bella Swan?"

Like you know any other Bellas, you dick. "Yeah, Bella Swan," she said, her voice salty. "What are you up to?"

"I just woke up," he said curtly. Then he thawed out a little bit, catching his tone as fast as she did. "You wanna hang out or something?"

"Totally," she replied. "I'll pick you up as soon as possible. Be ready."

"Gotcha."

"See ya."

She hung up and then put on some old denim shorts, her black hoodie, and the Converse that had carried her up and down the west coast not so long ago. The ensemble was all she wore these days, and she was too careless to switch things up.

She quickly left her house and arrived at Jacob's the quickest she could (legally). Charlie liked Jacob, so maybe he wouldn't mind Bella blatantly ignoring her being grounded. And if it came down to it, she could just say she went into work for a little while to touch base on some things. She'd be okay.

She was more concerned if she and Jake would be okay, though. Her heart was big, but somewhere she was trying to make more room for him since all she did was occupy his heart in her absence. It wasn't fair.

She pulled up the dirt road that was his driveway and he came out of his garage, walking toward the truck. She parked, got out, and started walking towards him like he was her favorite person.

Upon coming closer, she smiled and ran a hand through her hair. He pulled her into a hug, and it was almost like they were normal again. It was almost like they were true friends who hadn't fucked like crazy for a week only to demolish themselves. Better yet, the way he hugged her made her feel warm, as if she hadn't been ice-cold to him for the longest time.

"Where've you been, man?" she asked once he let her go.

"Just chilling," he replied with a shrug. "Not much else. Cute scratch." He gently but casually ran his thumb along her jaw, tracing Leah's signature.

She playfully pushed his hand away. "Don't even remind me how grounded I am," she said. "Weren't you there last night?"

He shook his head. "Nah. I heard you got busted by the cops, anyway."

She rolled her eyes. "My dad, specifically."

"Damn. Did you at least win?"

"I don't know. What's Leah been saying?"

"Same old shit. I don't really care."

Good boy.

"So," she said, changing the subject. "I was thinking we could do breakfast."

"Good, 'cause I'm starving."

"That is quite the shocker," she said sarcastically.

"Ha, ha. Do you want me to drive or what?"

"It's okay," she told him. "I can drive."

They had just made it back to Forks when she realized she was almost out of gas. She pulled into the only gas station in town—the nice one where high schoolers hung out on the daily—and waited as her money turned into fuel.

Jacob stayed in the car, and he didn't know how to feel. Why had she called him? It hadn't even been that long—only a couple weeks, really—but since she had left with the other girls, she didn't seem the same. Some part of her was still wherever she had been. She was different. New. She still had that flaky edge, the part of her that didn't know how things were going to turn out, but she seemed more comfortable in herself. Less regretful and more in the moment.

Even though he didn't know how to feel, Jacob still thought she was beautiful. That was where he was all torn up. She still had tired, sad eyes, but he had missed them. He had missed her curves and her soft brown hair. Bella Swan was still beautiful even though she had been so far away from him, and that was what killed him the most. She was so naturally stunning to him that he'd do anything for her still. He'd wake up and catch a ride with her to get breakfast even though they hadn't talked in weeks. He'd still think they were cool even though they really weren't.

He was the most loyal idiot he'd ever heard of.

But the doubt still hung around in the back of his mind. They decided to go to a diner in Forks since their usual one in Port Angeles had gotten trashed during a robbery a couple weeks ago and was still going through renovations. It was at this new diner that Jacob decided to be a little bolder and braver.

He glanced out the window next to him for a second before meeting gazes with Bella. "Can I ask you something?"

"Go ahead," she said.

"Are we hanging out right now because you have to due to the fact that you have no friends, or because you actually want to?"

She didn't bat a lash. "If I didn't want to hang out with you, I wouldn't have called. You know me, Jake."

"You didn't say that last time."

Her own words rang in her mind. She finally blinked. "Well, here I am. And here you are. I called because I want to hang out with you."

"I just want you to be real with me," he said, his brown eyes slightly pleading.

"I'll only be real with you," she told him. "And I chose to be with you today. We're not friends because we have to be. I picked you. Okay?"

"That's all I had to hear."

The waitress came around to their table with the food. Once she was gone, Jacob gave Bella a look.

"What's that for?" she asked him.

"You said you were grounded, but we're out here. Are you actually grounded?"

She nodded. "Definitely. I am the definition of grounded. The extent is to just about house arrest. He'll probably pick up one of those ankle bracelets on his way home from work tonight."

"You know Chief Swan. How long are you under this house arrest?"

"I don't know; he didn't say. Probably until I make up with Leah… or something."

Jacob stopped chewing and raised his eyebrows. "He's making you say sorry to Leah?"

She couldn't even act surprised anymore. She nodded again. "I have to invite her to dinner at my house and talk it out with her like an adult, but there's really no point in trying."

"Yeah, I'd say that chance is long gone," he agreed. "All she ever says besides 'Fuck the world' is 'Fuck Bella.'"

Bella groaned and let her face fall into her hands. She peered up at him through her fingers. "She's still that mad?"

"Some people react differently to almost being killed."

"How would you know about that if you weren't there last night?"

"She still talks about her near-death experience whenever she gets the chance. You didn't actually use those weapons on her, though, did you?"

She shook her head. "No," she said, slightly unsure of herself. "Of course not. I just brought them because… because I don't know why. But it's not like she didn't bring a knife herself. She acts like she wasn't prepared. I mean, the fact that she made me drop my stuff before we even started fighting says enough."

"You know her superiority complex, though," Jacob said.

"Holier than thou," Bella replied, rolling her eyes. "She doesn't have to keep talking about it. It doesn't help the situation at all."

"Maybe it's because you brought a sock in a lock." He took a long sip of his orange juice. "I didn't know you had that hoodrat streak in you."

"Oh, yeah," she said nonchalantly as she tossed her hair. "I've totally committed armed robbery and gotten arrested and all that. Pretty bad-ass."

Jacob laughed, throwing his head back. "Good one."

Yeah, good one.

"What are you gonna cook for Leah?" he asked.

"I don't know what dragons like to eat. I'll have to look it up." Then her face lit up. "You should come over, too."

"'Cause I totally wanna be a part of that shitstorm. Sure, sure."

"I was thinking of moral support, but if she decides to bring her knife again then I'll need as many witnesses as I can get. My dad will probably want her mom to come, too. I think that's why he wants me to have Leah over for dinner in the first place."

"Her mom and your dad are together?"

"They have something," she replied. "It's kind of gross, but as long as he's happy..."

"Stepsisters. That's incredible."

"Don't" she said severely. "Maybe we should just stop talking about it if you're not gonna help, Jake."

"Sorry, sorry," he said with his hands up. "Look, you need to relax. You look stressed out. It's not even a huge deal."

She took an aggressive bite of her hash browns. "I guess," she said, her voice bitter.

He put one of his hands on top of hers. She had missed that feeling.

"Lighten up," he told her softly, his pretty brown eyes fixed on hers. "It's gonna be just fine."

Why did I ever let him go? she thought. Oh, right. Because I'm a fucking idiot.

She pouted her lips at him. "I'm trusting you again, Jake."

He leaned back against the fake leather seat, but she held onto his hand. She rubbed her thumb against the inside of his wrist.

"Again?" he asked, staring down at her hands. He blinked. "When did I ever break that trust?"

"I never said you did," she replied. "I did."

He bit his lip and let go slowly. He looked out the window again. Her eyes followed. What's he looking at? What's he thinking about? Where will we go? What will we be?

"I'm sorry, you know," she told him, not breaking focus with the gray pavement outside. "For all that." She didn't feel the need to explain her self-loathing and how it didn't rectify certain complications. He knew that well enough.

They were in a strange place, at a strange time. They could either start dating again or never interact for as long as they knew each other. The normal medium was gone, just like his virginity. And his tolerance for bullshit. And her desire to be complicated. He was sharper and she was softer. He was more selfish, or more caring for himself and his own emotions, and she would let him. She didn't want to control him. He didn't want to keep branding himself as the good kid, the guy who was up for anything even if it hurt him. When did being complacent ever do anything for anybody?

But he still held her hand, or she held his, really. She didn't want to let him slip through her fingers again when he still meant so much to her, now that she knew the truth. She didn't want to trust anybody but him.

He looked forward again; she followed.

"I forgive you," he told her, careful not to say It's okay.

She smiled, carefully placing her hoodie-covered free hand over her mouth. He wondered why he felt the need to conceal her real smile, the subtle smile that made her eyes close a little bit, the smile that slightly made her nose crinkle. What was she so ashamed of?

She squeezed his hand. "Thank you," she whispered behind her sleeve.

A/N: Up next: a lot that I don't want to spoil.

Thanks as always,

HS