Chapter 15
Four
When your dreams all fail
And the ones we hail
*The next day*
Four hated almost all the people he met. They ask for your secrets, only to spill them and watch you go down with the ship that is you humiliation or heartbreak. The way they lie with a smile on little deceiving little faces. He knew better than to trust everyone or anyone he met. From years of keeping secrets from his friends and acquaintances in show business it happened to mold you that way.
But he had done it anyways.
He trusted, the girl with the striking eyes, blond hair and skinny frame. For an unknown reason he felt as though she was trust worthy, even though she had lied right to his face. Telling him she was someone she would never be, hiding a rough past behind a fake name.
Well, what a hypocrite he was.
He too hid behind a fake name, keeping a past, a family and a life a secret. From his friends, from everyone he met, waiting for the day they finally exposed his lies. Exposed his hateful past, horrid family and a life he wished to forget. Exposing old wounds to the air, once again, bringing painfully memories and realization of what he could have done to save himself.
He was a coward.
It's what his father had told him every day for years, upon years. No matter how hard he tried, no matter how many times he told himself, his father's words would always have been true. From the times he would cry when he was alone to the times his anger and a punching bag was all he could see to the times he was happy it would creep back up on him, whispering and haunting him.
Four walked to her room, agitated and frustrated. He went over in his head exactly what he would say to her, when he would walk out and everything. He would ask her exactly why she had lied, what her real name was, were was Peter or why had he done it.
He was ready…
Or not.
The girl he wished he could talk with was lying down, her blond hair scattered around her slightly skinny face. She looked healthier, weight wise, otherwise she was a mess but definitely a hot one.
Her face was covered in cuts, the largest one resting itself in her eyebrow and going out to right before her temple. A large bruise found itself on her left cheek, he could see the bruises were also on her neck and chest.
Four felt an ache rise in his chest and spread itself throughout his entire body to the point he had to sit down because his knees felt as though they would give in at any time. He wondered how bad her injuries were, maybe that's what he should ask her first. Yah, he'll do that then grill her.
Her eyelids fluttered after Four heaved a sigh.
"Hi," was all he could manage to get out of him. He fiddled with the watch on his right wrist and gave her a small smile which she returned, happily.
"Hi," She said back, uncertain to where this conversation was going.
"So you're the famous Beatrice Prior, right?" He asked, his face blank and emotionless.
"Yeah, I guess I am." She said looking away in embarrassment, a small little blush appeared upon to her pale cheeks.
"So are you ready to tell me the truth?" He questioned her feeling the need to get out of the, suddenly, stuffy room. He coughed and she looked up at the white ceiling, clearly analyzing the situation.
"No, not really," She sighed in frustration. "I mean, I'm just not ready to tell you yet, maybe I'll tell you when I'm ready." She gave him a small smile that held a promise, the promise of truth.
Four found himself at the door of the room where Shauna found herself most days and nights. Lynn's hospital room. The room where Shauna wept and Zeke comforted her.
And all though he hated to say it, was the room he resented visiting the most.
Where Lynn, who had once been a fun, sarcastic and a bit (a lot) of a bitch, lied in the horribly white room on life support. With no brain activity in two days, Four had no idea what to expect. She could wake up or have brain activity at a moment's notice, hell she could even have a sudden organ failure and no one would have expected it.
Four and Lynn had never really been the best of friends. They're relationship was based off mutual friends, although they were the only ones in the group that didn't enjoy parties and drinking accessibly. They shared a rather 'love, hate' relationship ending in name calling, arguments and even sometime violence, nothing more than the occasional shove or push.
But he was still her friend.
So there he found himself telling Lynn about all that had happened. He told everything, and by everything, it meant he had told her some stuff he hadn't even told Jordan or Zeke. He found it easier somehow to talk to someone who was most likely to not be listening, maybe it was the fact that no matter what he said no one would even do anything about it? Or even the fact that Lynn would never remember anything he told her, not even a word.
"Good talk Lynn," He stood up walking to the doorway but paused thinking about something. "Get better soon, even I miss haven' you around." He looked back at the bed and his face held a tight lipped smile. Shaking his head a bit he walked out of the room, with a sudden despair.
What if Lynn died?
There would no longer be that one person that didn't drink excessively other than him. He would have no one to fight with anymore. He wouldn't be able argue with anyone anymore because they would all back down, scared of him. He wouldn't be able to call her a sadistic bitch and she call him a stone faced bastard.
Another level of sadness hit him.
His group would ever be the same, with Lynn's absence Shauna would be depressed. Zeke affected by Shauna's mood, Marlene affected by the loss of her best friend, Uriah affected by both the loss of a childhood friend and by Marlene's mood. All bringing it back to him.
He sighed and he suddenly felt claustrophobic, overwhelmed by the rush and exhilaration of a hospital. He had to stop thinking about what would happen if Lynn happened to pass. That's why he had never classed himself as an optimised.
His thoughts drifted back towards the girl with the intoxicating personality and beauty. He had given her his phone number and address for when she was ready to talk to him or for any other reason, she could find. He didn't care, anything that brought them together.
He was an idiot, he knew.
She only merely a stranger, he happened to be acquainted with. She would most likely never care about him the same way as he did. Heck he didn't even understand how he felt about her, how could he expect her to feel the same way.
He was so fucked up.
There was two sides to him, the compassionate, delicate and wounded one and the cold, cut off and removed one. One of them he wished he could be more than the other, but found it the other way around. He had such a hard time with his emotions after years of hiding and lying about them. Sometimes he wished he would cry when he felt sad, smile and laugh when it was appropriate, tell people how he felt about anything. He wished he could yell out that he was a forgotten, traumatized, neglected and abused (emotionally, mentally and physically) child.
Why was it that even though he managed to escape his father, Marcus still managed haunt his dreams?
Would he grow up, get married, have kids and turn in to that beast or would he be a great dad?
Maybe but what stuped him was the expression:
Like father like son.
He was damned.
*2 months later*
July, 21st2014,
Four sat alone in his apartment. A lot and not enough had happened in the last two months. Lynn got out of the hospital with temporary memory loss and regained it two weeks ago. Shauna and Zeke announced they were getting married, Jordan found out that Beatrice was her half-sister and that she also has a half-brother, both younger than her, and because of that she spends most of her time with them. All that and so many more little things. He was turning twenty-three in thirty-four days on August twenty-fourth.
He threw on a shirt when he heard a knock on the front door of the place he called home. Four walked all the way to the door and threw it open, expecting it to be Zeke or another one of his friends standing in the dim light hallway of the building were his home was found but didn't not expect this.
She stood in the doorway, her blond hair in a ponytail. Her eyes enlightened by mascara and eyeliner. Her legs both healed, she looked like a healthy weight and most of the damaged was left under the surface.
"Hi," She said and bet her head down, embarrassed as a blush crept its way onto her no longer as pale cheeks.
hey guys,
so this is a longer chapter than I had originally thought it would so, yay
this is going to be the last update for the next week, until next Monday because tomorrow I have the 12&u water polo tournament, yes I can play its from the year 2001 and then heading down to my grand parents place and i'm not allowed to bring my pc cause a girl down there tends to steal things. :(
but its going to be really fun cause were going tubing and 4 wheeling and im gona learn to drive one and were gona camp out on this island. :)
question of the day: do you like doing any of that stuff^
Answer of the day: of course not *Roles eyes sarcastically*
~J