Chapter 17

Four

With the beast inside,

There's nowhere we can hide,

I wake up to the sound of pounding on my door. It tends to happen quite often when Jordan wants something from me but today them sound isn't urgent. It's angry

I look around the room, from its gray walls, the small desk in corner to the tiny window above my bed. This isn't my bedroom. This is the torture room I once called mine.

I hear whimpering in the corner of the room as the door slams open. Marcus marches in with a belt in his hand and a frustrated expression. The whimpering moves from the shadows and I'm meat by the familiar face of the 19 year old me.

I look away for a second, back at Marcus. His eyes a flame, teeth clenched, jaw set. My eyes return to the younger me to find that it's no longer me but Tris….

"Tris you're going to get hurt!" I try to yell but my mouth refuses to move. I stand up frantically, looking from Tris to Marcus and so forth.

Marcus' hand shoots and Tris throws her arms up in front of her beautiful face, anticipating the hit.

But it never comes.

My wrist stings from the blow. The way he tightens the belt around it before letting go and walking out, calm and collected.

I turn my body and am met by the gaze of the blue eyed beauty. Tears well up in her eyes as she turns around and sob to herself. I wrap my arms around her waist and she turned ready to attack.

"Tobias, I love you." She exclaimed before she kissed me.

Tobias woke up on a cold mattress and covers down by his waist. Sighing he rolled over to find the other side of the bed vacant. He frowned.

It's not as if he expected her to be there when he woke up but would have been a lot more content to hug her naked body. But then again it was a Monday at three in the afternoon and she had to most likely get to work or back to where ever she lives now. Or she was blaming him for the death of the only parents she ever had, will ever had.

He let out a groan.

Fuck his father.

Fuck his past.

Fuck his feelings.

Fuck his god damned life.

Why did everything he did or didn't do somehow revolve around his past or father? Why did everything come to him only after he spent all his time and money on it? Why couldn't he have what he wanted when he wanted? Why was the world so unfair? These were the questions he asked himself everyday but came back empty minded and the thought of the fact he would never have these answers made his soul blacken to a shade just darker.

With a groan Four propped himself up on his elbows looking around his bedroom for his boxers, which had been discarded somewhere in his room. Only to find them all the way across his room under his desk, how they got there he had no idea. He slipped on his jeans but had a hard time looking for his favorite shirt, which he discovered was missing. Instead he found a small black woman's V-neck lying just outside of his bedroom door and smiled.

Tris had taken his favorite T-shirt, thinking it was hers and hadn't even realised. He versioned her walking out head down hair a mess, bag strung over her shoulder and her jacket hung over her arm. Her boots unlaced pants ruffled and make-up all over, doing the walk of shame. He chuckled to himself silently and walked in to his kitchen.

The green color of the sticky note found itself on the black, grey and white marble counter top. The words strung out it a messy print, by the black ink of the pen that rested beside the note.

It read:

Tobias,

If your awake and wondering why I couldn't stay, I had go back home and help my brother with a few things, like cleaning or whatever else his wife wants me to slave me in to.

If you need to call me for anything, here's my cell:

P.S: I live with my brother so that's why I didn't give you the home phone.

~Tris

It was an awfully unsentimental note, with no ounce of happiness or any unnecessary flirting or obsessive us of a winky face. A frown appeared on the super stars face, had she not enjoyed herself? Or perhaps it was the fact that he had basically told her that his father had murdered the only two people she would ever call her parents, in cold blood, whilst he knew what was going to happen?

Either way he fucked up.

He was so bad with girls.

And so the great Four, the one who never asked for anything remotely close to advice, found the courage inside him to call up his friends for some girl advice and drinks, even though it was only 3:00 p.m.

"Hey Zeke, do you wanna come over? I kinda need some…, uh, you know… advice?" Four cringed and waited for the shrill of excitement that was bound to be produced by the vocal cords found inside the body of his friend.

"YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS, OH MY GOD, I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME. YES, YHES, YASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS." The yelling continued for a series of minutes before finally reducing itself, when Zeke sated a simple 'yes' and confirmed that he would call Uriah and Will, for some much needed beers and, he quoted: 'Some immensely needed bro time.'

Four ended the call and heaved a sigh, he would never hear the end of it. What had he done? Zeke would never let him off the hook, this time. Four was dammed.

By the time the men arrived it was 3:30 in the afternoon. They arrived armed with beers and weed, yes weed, they had all pledged to not get addicted to the drug but Zeke kept a stash hidden away somewhere in his house that he refused to tell the rest of their certain group of friends.

"Four, my man, what is it you need help with?" Zeke asked a smug grin marked on his face. He scanned the group of men in front his eyes. Uriah sat to his left on the sofa with Will, whilst Zeke sat on the love seat and he sat across form Zeke, on an angle.

"I met a girl-" He started when Uriah cut him off.

"Oh my God, guys, Four met a girl!" Uri exclaimed, half sarcastically half seriously. Four rolled his eyes.

"Shut it Uri, at least I'm not the one who basically followed a girl around for two years, you stalker." Four said with a smirk on his face, it was the truth, Uriah had in fact followed Marlene around for two year before finally asking her out. Zeke made a face trying to contain his laughter, Will's `face held a smile whilst Uriah's was flushed in embarrassment and frustration.

"As I was saying, I met a girl at Uri's party a few days back, she went by the name Amanda…" Four told them about the odd events that went on during the party to the car accident and her nearly dyeing.

"About six hours ago she showed up here, with her head hung low in embarrassment, to tell me about her. A promise she made two months ago, on this day, yet she still managed to remember. Tris is beautiful, honestly and she told me about a rough past she had and how she had lived the past few years, alone in a hole she called home. She told a few things that struck home for me, so I let my past slip. She kissed me, I kissed her and that lead to other things but she left me a note and I'm worried what it means." Four finished quickly flush, even the slightest of red lined his cheeks, and handed the note to Zeke first, whilst Uriah past him a joint which he gladly took. He took a swig of the powerful drug and felt his muscles relax ever so slightly and smiled. This was exactly what he needed.

"Well I think we should all just celebrate because no one in this room is virgin anymore!" Will said enthusiastically showing that the beer had in fact made its way to his head. Everybody cracked a smile even Four who had at first thought he was calling them over for advice but found himself leaning more towards the fact he just wanted to be with friends, surrounded by his people to forge his hell-ish life, to forget the fact he had fallen hard for a girl that most likely hate him.

He remembered the times late at night when he prayed to find his people, people that were like him, knew him, were him but he realised now that his people were the people nothing like him, yet had some much in common. They were the horrible group of twenty year old outcasts, the people whose parents were ashamed to call their own. His people was a group of broken misfits whose best days were some of the worst, who stumbled upon a company nice enough to offer them jobs. The people who fell apart as they watched one of their own rise above and fall under the spell of fame.

He regretted ever joining the Hollywood fame group. Full of meetings and fake smiles, rumors and lies. Lights and cameras. He wished he'd stayed a small misfit unlikely to ever win in life. He wished he'd stayed with his people.

And now he paid the price for it all.

Hey guys,

its been a long time. sorry.

do you accept my apology?

no? I didn't think you would.

that's okay tho, I wouldn't forgive me too if I were you.

anyways, ive spent a long time thinking and after a few things happen I think that will be the end. but i'll tell you when the last chapter is. :)

QOTD: do you forgive me?

AOTD: don't worry i'll take the honesty.

~J