A/N: And I'm back. I wanna make these updates more regular, but who knows? Here's another short, Emily-centric transition chapter with a throwback to chapter 16. The next chapter moves more forward.

Enjoy.

XL.

there ain't nothing here for me anymore
but i don't wanna be alone

Emily had never been religious, but by the end of that peculiar, out-of-body summer, she knew that she had found God. The fact that she had been given so many chances was a miracle by itself.

Looking back on her summer, Emily decided that she had taken enough chances for a lifetime. She'd left her little hidey-hole and felt the sun. She'd gone places she'd never thought she'd go before. She'd seen people she'd always thought she would never be able to see. She'd gotten arrested. And after all of that, after all of the stress, she had come out almost unscathed.

She'd found God.

And to take another chance, Emily decided to have sex with Embry at the end of that summer. It was the day after he had found his father (and he never told her anything about it, too) so he wasn't in the right mindset. Neither was she. She didn't know why she agreed to it but she didn't feel bad about it and she couldn't help it. She couldn't. And afterward, she did two things.

First, she prayed for the first time in her life. She prayed she wasn't pregnant, and she prayed that she and Embry would be okay regardless. Yeah, he was kind of weird now, but so was she and she supposed that didn't matter. But she prayed hard—she actually cried while doing it.

Second, she took a pregnancy test. That part was just as religious as the praying part. The action came about two-and-a-half weeks and two hundred short conversations with Embry later. Emily didn't want to say anything to make things even more weird between them, so she chose to say nothing at all. And it killed Embry because he didn't know what she was being so silent about.

After she took a pregnancy test (and then another one, and another one just to make sure), she called up Embry and said she was going to pick him up. They drove to Floriano's without exchanging a word.

At their booth, the dead air hung between them. Emily stared at Embry's nice, attractive face. He looked tired, but in a good way, and he wore his glasses, which made him look even better. He stared back at her. Her black roots were starting to grow in, but they looked good against the mahogany of her long hair.

They finally spoke at the same time, breaking the silence.

"Sam and I have the same dad."

"I'm not pregnant."

Embry's eyes widened. "Oh!" he said. "That's great. That's really great."

Emily's eyebrows furrowed. "I mean, yeah, I guess, but your thing is way more important. How do you know?"

"We found him a couple weeks ago in this one town called Everett. He just opened the front door and out popped a pregnant wife and two kids. The works. We just left after that."

"Wait, who's we?"

"Me and Seth and Sam."

Emily grew cold. "Sam went with you?"

Embry nodded. "It's his dad."

"But it's yours, too."

"I know, Em, I know. It was just really weird." His hand touched hers on the table for a brief moment before she could move it. She wasn't too affectionate and neither was he. He promptly moved his hand away when she wouldn't react.

"I'm sorry for not telling you sooner," he told her.

"That would have been nice," she said somberly. "I just feel like a massive ho now."

He didn't even ask why. He just stared at her.

"But I guess that's my fault."

He couldn't be offended; she wasn't even being sarcastic. All he did was put his hand on hers again. She took it back and got up from the table. She calmly went to her car and drove home. He knew where the nearest bus stop was.

Emily started to day-drink and evening-pray after that. Embry kept calling her, but she didn't answer. She was too ashamed. She'd slept with a man and his brother. She hadn't slept with Sam in about a year since she had been completely convinced that her vagina was cursed, but it was the same thing. Maybe she wouldn't have wanted to have sex with Embry if she had known that he and Sam were brothers.

It was the first night of September, and Emily herself poured a drink. She was usually her best at writing when she was drunk despite Bella's protests, but her mind was mostly empty tonight. All she could think about was this time almost a year ago in Room 93, outside the badlands, and she wondered if Sam was out there. He came home every now and then, but she began to worry.

He knew she was drinking a lot again. Of course, he did. And of course, he didn't want to hurt her again. The shards of glass were just as familiar to him as they were to her even if he hadn't been the one receiving them.

Emily lost focus and accidentally let her glass fall to the wooden floor, where it shattered into a hundred tiny pieces.

Maybe God wasn't so real after all.

A/N: Chapter 41 is more refreshing, and chapter 42 is one of the most important of the story, in my humble author's opinion. Can't wait to share.

Thanks as always,

HS