Chapter XVIII – F for Feelings

Arthur hates everything there is about his Heat-periods, mainly because they cause him to have crazy hallucinations caused by his refrained hormonal desires. But why, god why was he thinking of his best friend?! Again?! The English teen did not understand. Not only did Patrick's drug attempt fail (again) but he now had a new problem coming to add to the collection of problems he already has (and it's a fucking big collection)!

Arthur groaned in irritation and hissed in pain. Once again, he felt his lower parts itch and his body kept asking for something Arthur refused it. But usually that's all. Usually it's just plain bodily needs. So why was it ten folds worse this time? And why was he mentally fantasising about Feliciano?! This makes no sense! Especially since Arthur could never imagine his friend to even consider mating with him! Seriously! Feliciano is not the usual kind of Alfa! It's actually doubtful he'd be interested in Arthur at all who acts way too much like an Alfa to be taken seriously as an Omega. He tries though. He really does! And he would give anything to be a normal Omega and maybe be good enough to suit Feliciano's taste … … wait, wait, wait! What the hell is he thinking?! Get a grip! It's the fever making him delirious!

Arthur shut away those odd thoughts. How could he even think that? Feliciano is his friend. And even if he's in heat, Arthur should know better than to give in to the temptation! The real question is … why, of all the Alfas he could imagine (and he knows a lot of those bastards to say the least), why would he think of Feliciano? The most un-Alfa person on earth? It makes no sense! They'd be a terrible match together! A fake-Alfa with a fake-Omega? It sounds like a bad joke!

And yet, Arthur could not stop himself. In his dreams, all he sees are the beautiful warm amber eyes of his friend, warming him up of his gentle fire. He can imagine the silk soft touch of Feliciano's skin against his. Imagine the sweet kisses of the brunet melting against his own lips. And then … and then, Arthur wonders why he always ends up gazing into passionate ruby red eyes that seemed to burn of a devouring fire about to eat him whole. And yet … he's not afraid. He feels the danger and he knows that person is not safe. But he can't help but feel happy in the other's presence. Almost like he knew that the red-eyed person … who looks a lot like Feliciano, would never harm him.

And then he wakes up.

And remembers that he's becoming hot for his best friend … while in heat. Terrific. How on earth is he going to face Feliciano back at school?!

A few days later.

Feliciano walked up in front of the house and waited as he does every day. He comes, stands by the door and waits for a good ten minutes before sighing and walking alone to school. He got late a few times because of that. After all, what kind of idiot gets up an hour earlier to walk half-way across town to his friend's house, stand at their door for ten minutes, before walking all the way back to school alone. A really desperate idiot.

This time again, Feliciano waited and saw nobody come out of the door. He sighed heavily, the weight on his heart felt unbearable. He only wished Arthur's heat would end soon. It was so painful for him to be this helpless … more so than usual. He never realised how much he depended on Arthur. The fact that now, people at school didn't bully him anymore, that his grandfather finally took interest in him (even if only to scold him for befriending a "Kirkland Savage") or that his brother no longer treated him like a hinder … he owes it all to Arthur. His sweet and beloved Arthur.

Aaaah … he's having those thoughts again. Better clear his mind or he might grow hard in the middle of class. That would be very embarrassing. Feliciano started walking away, he didn't even care if he arrived late anymore. His mind was solely focused on Arthur and nothing else. His classes had become just a mean to pass time as he waited for Arthur to return. The fact that he now didn't get bullied by his brother's friends anymore and that they were more or less civil (you could even say they were all growing into a relatively friendly group all thanks to Arthur's absence) was nice but he didn't care or realise it. Even now, as he occasionally gets Elisaveta and her female friends jump him to enquire on his relationship with Arthur and "How far they had gone?" was only making him feel worse and more lonely.

He longed for Arthur.

He longed for the man that made his heart beat alive, his blood flow warm, his tears taste sweet and his mind see bright colours everywhere. But only Arthur can do that. Only Arthur makes him feel so alive and wanted. For the first time, Feliciano was truly seeking his loved one. In the past, he had only watched from afar at a few cute Omegas he had crushes on. But this time, it felt different. This time, Feliciano felt like he was willing to die in order to stay by Arthur's side.

When he saw Arthur collapse that night at the ball, Feliciano felt his heart stop and skip a few beats. He had felt his world collapse and crash down into nothing but dark loneliness. And even now, he felt too distant, too far away from Arthur. He wanted to see him, to touch his hand, to hear his voice. He misses him. He loves him. He adores him. And he would do anything for Arthur's sake! Anything! He'd even become a strong Alfa for him if that's what the blonde wishes for!

"Feliciano?"

Sweet music …

Arthur blinks as he spots Feliciano walking away from his front door alone. What the hell is he doing here? Doesn't Feliciano live really close to school? Why would he get out of his way to come all the way here?

"Oh, look Arthur! Your boyfriend came to pick you up!" Alistair teased with an amused smirk and was pleased to see dark blushes cover both Feliciano and Arthur's faces.

Make no mistake, Alistair Scott Kirkland is still firmly against handing over his little brother to the first coming Alfa bastard that would knock on his door. But having observed Feliciano for a long time now, he was growing intrigued and interested in the lad. He wasn't like other Alfas. And he treated his brother in such an odd way. It was respect but there was no dominance or even any attempt to dominance in Feliciano's behaviour. If fact, the Italian seemed to almost worship his wee brother. Sounds creepy but at least, it means that Artie will not be mistreated. But that's not enough.

Alistair liked Feliciano and agreed that the lad was the perfect friend for Arthur. But could he be a good mate? Could he protect his brother when push comes to shove? Would he? Or would he run and hide, leaving Arthur to fend for himself? Alistair was never entirely sure what to think concerning that matter.

One- there was the way Feliciano pleaded for his friendship with Arthur during their first meeting at the Kirkland household. The Italian had showed determination despite the danger and fear he must have felt from Arthur's family. Got to give him points for that.

Two- There is Feliciano's odd reaction during the ball. When Alistair had heard of his brother's fainting and rushed to him, all he saw was the Italian gripping and cherishing Arthur's unconscious body like a widower having lost his loved one. Tears were silently streaming down his face and Feliciano seemed unable to hear or feel anything from his surroundings. He never looked away from watching Arthur's face, not even when Alistair growled at him or tried to pry him away using his dominance. The Italian didn't even shudder. He remained frozen like a statue and … well, maybe it was the light but … Alistair swore he thought that the Italian's eyes had turned red for a moment.

With that in mind, the Kirkland future Head Alfa could not decide on what kind of opinion he had of Feliciano. The more he observed the boy, the more confused he got. It's like watching over Arthur: Stare for too long and it makes no sense.

"We're not a couple!" Arthur hissed quietly to his brother.

Alistair smiled wickedly at him but he had heard it. He had heard the hesitation in Arthur's voice and the way the blonde had tried not to be overheard by Feliciano. If he had held no feelings for the Italian, Arthur would have proudly yelled it out loud. The fact that he didn't already confirmed Alistair's fears.

It was exactly like last time. No, it was worse. This was moving faster than the last time. Too fast.

The scarlet haired man wrapped his arms around his brother, freezing Arthur in place, as he whispered in his ear gently and with a tone filled with concern.

"I trust your judgement. But do not make the same mistake as last time." Arthur heard the warning and was suddenly reminded of the reason why he hates Alfas so much with a passion. He lowered his head and nodded with a newly found determination.

He would not fall in love. Especially with an Alfa. Even if this Alfa happens to be Feliciano … kind, sweet Feliciano … Arthur swore that he would never be deceived again and would never give away his heart to an Alfa. He didn't want a repeat from last time. The fear and scars are still fresh in his mind and body. Arthur shuddered as he walked off. He offered a weak smile to Feliciano, hoping that his smile did not look too fake.

"Let's go or we'll be late. Thank you for coming to see me."

Feliciano nodded.

Arthur's smile was fake. He could see so easily through it that it pained him his friend would try to hide away his feelings from him. Though, from the expression he was making, Feliciano could tell that Arthur was hiding painful things from him. Probably didn't want to worry him.

"Si. I … I'm glad your heat is over. Are you feeling better now?"

"Yes, I'm perfectly fine now! Sorry if I worried you!"

Feliciano didn't answer.

Yes, he had been worried. And now he is worried even more. He felt for that brief instant that Arthur had just shut him out of something but he didn't know what. He was still acting the same as always but it felt different, somehow … distant.

Alistair watched the couple walk away. Their hands were grazing each other and yet neither had the confidence to make the first move … nor to move away. Standing at a crossroad in their lives, Feliciano and Arthur would soon have to make up their minds and choose. Choose to jump, or to retreat.

Clenching his fist in frustration, Alistair could only hope that nothing bad will happen that would harm or traumatise his wee brother even more. He felt he could trust Feliciano. The boy was different from that other man. That monster had never been in Alistair's good books since the first day he had met him. But Feliciano … he might just be the key to healing Arthur's hatred and fears.

But what was this foreboding feeling he felt? Alistair never gets good news when his guts predict bad omens. He really hopes that this time, just this once, his guts would get it wrong.