A/N: I don't own Twilight.

So this is chapter 57 of Static. It's a lot shorter compared to the previous one.

Enjoy.

LVII.

let's not pretend it's love

February carried on in a constant state of bliss with just the right amount of reality mixed in. Bella and Kim fell into a state of mundane domesticity rather quickly, and Bella didn't really mind—for a while.

They were sitting on their all-too-familiar couch studying in their all-to-familiar textbooks one evening after dinner, and Bella was stirring on the inside. It was like a little switch had gone off in her head: you're comfortable. She wasn't against living a drama-free life. She didn't live to be petty or start issues (besides the fact that she was a world-class bridge burner), but she didn't live to stay still, either. Being static was like second nature now, and she didn't really like it, even though she really liked Kim. Kim would never understand.

But Paul would.

Bella suddenly ached for her boy, her good friend, her companion. She hadn't seen or heard from Paul Lahote since she had moved in with Kim, and while she and Kim were good friends or whatever they were, she and Paul were even better friends.

She got up from the couch and closed her textbook.

Kim peered up from her homework. "You're keyed up."

Bella nodded. "Yeah," she said, looking for her shoes. "I just realized how much I need to see my old friend."

"We only know eight people," Kim replied. "Who is it?"

"I need to see Paul." And Bella knew it sounded weird. She knew it made her sound flaky. But telling the truth in her strange way would be better than lying, especially to Kim. Kim might understand.

"Paul?" Kim asked, clearly not understanding. "I didn't know Leah allowed you to like him."

"I don't need Leah's approval to be friends with someone," Bella said. "Leah doesn't have her name branded onto his dick."

Kim knew Bella didn't have the best word choice, but Bella always knew what she said. "What are you even saying?" she asked.

"Paul has really helped me through a lot," Bella explained, "and we're actually good friends. I trust him."

"But you don't trust me?" Kim asked, trying really hard not to sound accusatory. It came off whiny instead.

"No, no, no," Bella said. "I trust you—God, how could I not? But I miss him. He helped me out of a bad place"—okay, that was a stretch—"and I haven't talked to him in forever."

Kim didn't want to fight. She didn't want to have to mend anything that she didn't have to break. She just didn't say anything—instead, she looked at Bella with those big Bambi eyes and tried to get her to stay. She was attached. It wasn't that hard to see.

"Baby girl," Bella crooned. "Who says a guy and a girl can't be just friends? That's as bad as assuming that you and I are just friends, and we both know that's not true."

Kim often confused her brain with her heart. She often took things really hard. She often didn't want to trust anybody but she often couldn't tell when somebody was going to betray her since it had only happened repeatedly.

And Bella knew all of those things.

Bella sat down on the couch again and came in really close. She kissed Kim tenderly on the cheek. "Baby girl," she whispered. "Do you not trust me?"

"That's the problem," Kim said, not moving away. "I trust you too much." Just not when you're bored.

Bella's voice was hard. "Then prove it."

And then she left without even a wave goodbye.

Kim stayed up late that night waiting up for Bella. She didn't mind, as per usual, but Bella did.

It was ten after midnight when Bella finally stumbled into the condo. All the lights were off, but Kim sat in the dark of their room with the door open just a crack. She couldn't see anything, but she heard enough.

Bella's drunken laughter echoed through the entryway as she simultaneously tried really, really hard to be quiet. "You're stupid," Kim heard her whisper. "Go home."

Kim couldn't hear Paul, but she knew he was there. They were good friends, after all, he and Bella. Kim felt wrong in this moment—even though she didn't have any significantly deep connections with Paul, she still considered him to be Leah's. And Bella was hers. Or she wanted her to be. Maybe it was because Bella was her actual first love. This hit her hard in the darkness, underneath Bella's self-assured laugh and hushed whispers.

Another that hit Kim was that she wasn't Bella's first love. She was nowhere near it.

"Go home," Bella said again. "You're fucked up. Go home to your girlfriend."

"Go home to your girlfriend," Paul said, just as drunk as Bella.

"I am," Bella replied. "I am."

Then Kim didn't feel so bad.

"You're fuckin' wild, chica," he said.

"Why?"

He was silent for a moment. "Goodnight," he finally said.

"Goodnight."

Kim shut her eyes tight, braced to hear anything else, but all she heard was the front door close and the deadbolt turn. And suddenly, she felt Bella's weight added to the bed. Bella's boots fell to the floor with a low thud.

Bella began to stroke Kim's hair. "I miss you," she whispered. "Present tense."

"I'm right here." Already, Kim's voice had that throaty sound to it. It was heavy and it meant she was on the verge of sobbing.

"Oh, don't cry. Don't cry."

"Bella, tell me," Kim said, the tears already falling. "Are you cheating on me?"

Bella's thumb ran under Kim's eyes, wiping the tears away. "Baby girl, don't cry."

"Are you?"

"Paul's my friend," Bella said. "He's my good friend and you can't forget about those. That would be like you giving up on Leah. Shit like that just doesn't work. You'd understand."

Then she kissed Kim, but Kim didn't forget. She tried to let the tears dry on their own, tried to assume that Bella and Paul were just friends, but somewhere deep down, she had a strong feeling that Bella was like what everyone said about her.

Bella Swan was no good.

Bella didn't have dinner with Kim for the next two days. While in the moment it felt like the biggest betrayal, it really wasn't a big deal. At least, not to Bella. She would go to school and go to work and go to Paul. Kim would wait up for her as if it wasn't hurting her, and Bella would kiss it better and tell her not to worry.

On day three of DSB (Dinner Sans Bella), Kim had prepared dinner for one. She knew better tonight. Bella might come in to change clothes and run out of the place again, but there was no use in cooking for her. She might say she had some catching up to do with Paul—but how much could two people possibly catch up on when they had only been without each other for weeks?

And Kim asked Bella this right as the latter woman did just what was expected. She burst into the condo after work, briefly greeted Kim, and ran to their bedroom to change clothes.

Kim caught her, clad in nothing but her bra and panties, rummaging through a pile of clothes like her life depended on it.

She leaned against the door, her head tilted. "What are you doing?"

Bella turned around. "Oh, hey. Come to get a sneak peek?"

"I came to see what you were doing."

"I'm going out," Bella replied. "Like I have been for the last couple of nights. What's up?"

"Can I come? Paul's my friend, too." Kim didn't know where she was getting at; she had never thought she would find the courage to even attempt to confront Bella.

"You'd hate it," Bella said. "Like, all we do is sit around and talk."

"I like talking. You should bring him over here."

Bella just rolled her eyes and searched for some new jeans, presumably ones that didn't smell like little kids. She pulled them up over her legs but didn't button them up. She then went through another pile of her clothes to look for a top.

"Are you okay?" Bella asked. "You usually don't—"

"Don't what?"

"Ask so many questions. You're all riled up, baby girl."

"Am I not a good enough friend for you, Bella?" Kim demanded. "I know we jumped into… all of this really fast, but… but I want you to want to talk to me. You know? And I understand that you need friends—I mean, we all do—but you never see me sneaking out and coming back way early in the morning from talking with Leah."

Bella finally found a top, but she just held it in her hands. She walked up to Kim, stared at her in the eyes.

"Are you jealous of Paul?" she asked quietly.

Kim felt the tears burning in her eyes. Damn it.

Bella widened her eyes. "You're fucking jealous of Paul."

"With the way you act with him, why wouldn't I be?"

"Fuck, Kim!" Bella exclaimed. "Can't I have a fucking friend to tell my secrets to and be able to just talk to without you worrying that I'm having sex with them? If you're gonna believe all the shit that everyone says about me, you can go and—"

"The thing is, Bella," Kim said, "I've been trying so fucking hard to not believe all the shit that everyone says about you. I haven't talked to my friends in weeks because I've been so caught up in you and making us work. Do you not want us to work?"

That was when Bella's expression softened. She looked genuinely upset. She was still pretty when she was about to cry, though, and that was where Kim's heart was breaking.

"God, Kim," Bella said. "You're so fucking nice. You're nice to everyone. You're even nice to me when I don't deserve it."

"Don't call me that," Kim murmured.

"I'm sorry, but you are. Baby girl, you're the nicest, sweetest, most kindhearted person I know and… and you deserve someone who won't hurt you, someone who loves you unconditionally and you wouldn't mind taking home to your parents. You deserve to be loved by someone who will love you with their whole heart. I don't like being fake, though. I don't like pretending that what we have is love. You're my girl, and riding with you was the best, but I can't do this. We can't do this."

Kim felt her whole heart rise up to her throat. She couldn't breathe. She didn't even know what oxygen was. What she did know, though, was that something was breaking inside of her. Something was being twisted and tortured and there was nothing she could do.

And then Bella leaned in close and kissed her on the cheek. "Love you long time, baby girl," she whispered in her ear.

"Bella," Kim said.

"Hmm?" Their faces were still attached.

"Did you cheat on me?"

Bella pulled away and put her top on. It was a gray t-shirt with a hole near the bottom that looked like a cigarette burn.

"Don't worry about it," she said.

And then she was gone.

A/N: Thanks for reading. The next chapter features the dawn of lifelong friendship and something kind of funny.

Thanks as always,

HS