It's a habit Petra's held onto over the years. When her mother died when she was only ten, her father, still grief-sickened himself, had done his best to try to help her cope. He told her whenever she felt alone to pray to her mother, looking down from heaven. That way she could talk to her like she was still alive and with them.

Despite not being very religious, Petra continued that habit through her training. When trying to decide whether to join the Military Police or the Survey Corps, she poured her heart out to her mother. Before her first mission she spilled out all the fears she had. After she met a man she wouldn't mind spending the rest of her life with, she asked her mother for advice with that little nervous laugh of her.

The thought of him made her chest tighten with that all too familiar sadness. She was used to loss, but that didn't stop the hurt from cutting into her heart like a knife.

Come on, Petra. Let's just get this over with. Maybe it will help.

So she kneels in her too empty bedroom and tries to imagine Levi with her mother up in heaven. Knowing him, he'd argue if such a place existed, he'd end in hell. This thought makes her smile, so she tries to concentrate on it instead of the sight of his corpse, bloody and twisted.

"Hey L?" Her voice is shaky and she hates it, but she has too push forward. "I'm really scared. Things aren't just about Titans anymore and these children are looking up at me for leadership. I've never been a leader like you have, and don't argue you weren't, we both know the squad adored you. I adored you," She has to choke out those last few words. "Anyway, I miss you so much. There really hasn't been time to grieve. And I'm trying to stay strong, but it's just so hard," Petra has to wipe a tear away. "I wish you could give me some advice. I wish you were here with me, and that things could be like they used to be. There's so many things I wish for, it would take years to rattle them off-" She's interrupted by a knock on her door. With that Petra bolts up and tries to straighten herself up. She can't show weakness, not now.

She opens the door and finds Eren standing there, shifting around awkwardly. "Captain Ral?" The title never fails to come out clunky from his mouth. He still remembers days where they were comrades and gossiped when they should have cleaned. "Historia says she's come to a decision and will play her part as princess."

"Oh that's wonderful!" Petra tries to fake excitement. "Give me one second, I have one thing to take care of." Excellent, work always takes her mind off of things, busy bees don't have time to remember dead friends. However she makes sure to put on the necklace with Levi's ring attached to it. (She doesn't try to imagine what the ring was for.) She tucks it under her blouse like she always does, still it makes her feel more confidant.

Please Levi, lend me all the strength you can.

A.N. Request from raceshadowsinthemoonlight, dead!Levi and alive!Petra is always interesting, bc with Mike dying shortly afterwords, who else can take Levi's place? While Petra is my war goddess and really strong as well, the transition for her would be incredibly difficult