Disclaimer: I don't own The Rocky Horror Picture Show

A/N: So, now they're at the military fortress. It'll be not-so-historically accurate for the plots sake.

All the nicknames have meanings I'd better point out. "Puellus" is basically a male form of the word for "girl". "Libris" is the word that basically means "bookworm", which I changed it to "Librus" so it looks more like a name. "Avus" means "grandfather". The other names are just names.

Soon enough they reached the fortress. A guard stood outside, wearing uniforms like the legionaries who'd 'captured' the three accidental time travelers, and looking rather annoyed. Or tired, Magenta wasn't sure.

"Hullo, Lucius. Gaius. Aren't you supposed to be patrolling still?"

"Yes, sir. But we found these three an' a very suspicious building in a field not far away. They asked to be brought back to camp."

The guard sighed. "What's the password, boys?"

Looking rather nervous, Lucius walked up to the guard and whispered a phrase in his ear. This seemed to be the correct answer. Without another word, the guard let them into the fortress.

It was a grand place. What seemed like – and probably was – hundreds of tents filled the place. A few off-duty soldiers stood here and there. Some were cooking what was probably their dinner. Somebody was singing a drinking song somewhere, too. It was amazing to watch all of it. All so… alive.

"Isn't it wonderful? This is what being Roman is," Gaius said, smiling dreamily.

Though Riff usually found most things Earthlings did to be rather pathetic this was impressive, he had to admit. Something about this grubby camp was just so very grand! Magenta, too, found it to be very important-seeming. All the hard word put into setting up all the tents and buildings seemed very awe-inspiring.

All Columbia could think was that movies didn't do Rome any justice.

"Why don't we take 'em to our tent for now, before they start causing trouble, Lu? Then they can meet some people," Gaius asked.

"Sounds good ta me," Lucius replied.

The fact that this military seemed so unorganized made Riff a bit smug. Their camp sure was impressive, but the soldiers weren't that clever. What he failed to realize was that these two were practically the worst legionaries in the army.

So, Lucius and Gaius led their 'prisoners' to one of the tents. There weren't any people in the tent (it was day time) but a few stood outside. Three, to be exact.

First was a man in his late twenties. He had brown hair that curled slightly and bright eyes. He clutched a scroll in one hand and was speaking to the man next to him…

That was a young man with somewhat feminine features who'd clearly worn some lipstick. His flouncy, girly mannerisms reminded Columbia of a more benevolent incarnation of Frank. Riff and Magenta were weary of this one for a similar reason. Their so-called 'Master' seemed nice at first to some. Though, dear reader, the soldier actually was kindhearted.

The last was very broody and dark, and seemed to be ignoring the others. Something about him was tragically poet. Rather Byronic. He also had the air of a mysterious foreigner. Magenta liked this. He was her sort of people.

"Hello, dahlings!" exclaimed the flouncy legionary, once he noticed the five approaching the tent.

"Hello, Puellus. And Librus, and Aldricus," Lucius said with sigh. "These people we found wanderin' around outside the camp. Can you lot entertain 'em for a bit?"

The one with the scroll – Librus – nodded solemnly. As did the dark, brooding Aldricus. Puellus nodded and blew a kiss. This caused to Gaius to blush.

"What are your names?" asked Librus.

"I'm Riff Raff, that's my sister Magenta and her friend Columbia."

"Oh? Well, good to meet you," Librus said.

Nobody spoke for a while. Then, Lucius finally did:

"Young Gaius and I will be going back to patrol now. We don't want to get Marcus angry, do we?"

"No we don't," Gaius replied.

Without further ado, they left. Now Riff Raff, Magenta, and Columbia were in the hands of Rome's weirdest soldiers. They strangest legionaries had all been grouped together in one tent. Perhaps it was so their strange behaviors couldn't rub off on normal Romans, perhaps it was because insane minds think alike. Not that it really mattered so much.

At least they got along.

"You were found wandering outside the camp? How did such a thing happen?" Librus asked, soon enough.

"It's a long story," Riff replied darkly. "A story that neither my sister nor her little friend will tell."

He was, understandingly, furious about being stranded here. Especially that they were now away from the castle. He'd planned to fix it as soon as possible. Then they'd be able to go back to the planet Transsexual, Transylvania. As he often did, he felt like the only sane person in sight. Between these crazy Romans, his eccentric sister, and her ditzy friend… nobody here could help get the ship working.

Unable to deal with his insane bad luck he just stormed off. An oddly dressed man and a camp of trained soldiers isn't a good combination, though he could care less at that point.

So Magenta and Columbia were left alone with the three strange Romans. By then it was lunchtime and was Aldricus eating dried fish of some kind (which seemed to have been produced out of thin air). He still hadn't said a word to anyone.

Suddenly, Columbia realized something. "How are we understanding Latin? How are we speaking Latin?"

"Latin? Is zat ze language here?" Magenta replied unhelpfully.

"Mags…"

Magenta sighed. "Because, once you've been in zat castle long enough you learn to speak ze dominant language of vherever you are. It's zis radiation or something. How do you think I spoke your language?"

Columbia didn't have an answer to that. Living with aliens was an interesting thing indeed. Fun, too. Though she had a feeling that things would be less fun now that they were stranded amongst Romans…

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Note to specific person who might be reading this: So, a few friends of mine were at a photo-taking RHPS thing last weekend and the separately ran into the same person. They told her about my stories, and she seemed interested in reading them. "Oh how extraordinary," she apparently said. If that person is reading this I'd like to know what they think of it. Please send something to my gmail email: Sciencefictioncat

I really want to know what she thinks, if she did read it. Though she should tell me something about conversations she had (with one of the two friends who spoke to her about fanfics) so I know it's really her. I hope she reads this. I always want to know what people think of my stories! (Usually via reviews, though)