Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or his characters, and have no right to it except as a long time fan.

Love Emerging Through Pain

Chapter Two: Misery Loves Company

Sesshomaru continued to stare at the miko as he waited for her to answer, and speculated on what could have brought her to this point in her short life. He remembered the way she looked as she looked up at him from her hands and knees. Her unusual blue eyes were dull, watery, and full of pain and he had wondered curiously what had brought her there.

"Will you kill me?" he heard her ask suddenly, and his eyes widened. Hope had entered her eyes just as suddenly as she had spoken. He could tell that she was being honest in her question. The miko reeked of honesty, pain, and salt even though the tears had yet to leave her eyes. He also had not missed her look longingly at his hand and sword.

Why did she want to die? Why was she asking him to end her life? Did she think he would instantly spill her blood simply because she asked? What right did she have to ask him such a thing? She didn't, and he wasn't about to let this human use him as a tool to end her existence.

"No." he answered and watched her frown at him. Clearly his answer did not please her, but that was not his problem. She was lucky he answered her at all.

"Fine. I'll do it myself." he heard her state and watched as she scrambled to her little feet and run off. He turned to leave but paused. He still wanted to know why she wanted to die and he would never know if she went and killed herself. Not to mention he was curious about how she planned to end herself and if she would even have the courage to do it.

Sesshomaru turned around and quickly ran to catch up to the upset miko and watched as she reached the cliff beyond the trees and slowed to a stop. He figured this was where she looked at the length she would be falling and back out, but to his surprise, she did it. He watched as she let herself fall off the edge.

He quickly transformed into his energy form and sped after her. Over the cliff he went and down until he was right next to her, then he grabbed her from her side around her waist and carried her off into the sky. He couldn't believe that she had actually done it. Had he not caught her she would have been killed. Her human body was so fragile that it would have broken instantly.

He nearly flinched at the sound of her raised voice screaming and yelling at him. He had to remind himself that he had kept her alive to find out why she wanted to die, and that if he dropped her now he would never get an answer.

Once on the ground Sesshomaru ignored the miko's struggles and tuned out her voice. Although it was interesting to him to see this new side of her. He didn't even know if she had been capable of cursing, and to hear her now was amusing. She gained his attention when she stopped struggling and quieted. Her sad moan caused him to look down at her limp form, and he frowned as he listened to her whispered pleas. All they did was heighten his curiosity but a tiny part of him was beginning to be concerned for the broken miko. A concern that began to deepen when the scent of sadness permeated her body.

He admitted to himself that the little miko in his arm had earned his respect some time ago. Her loyalty, even if it was bestowed on the half-breed- to a fault he was positive, was admirable, her willingness to take in and raise the kit was also something that he admired. It reminded him greatly of his taking Rin into his care. He knew it was rare that a demon took in a human to raise, especially a demon of his stature, but it was almost unheard of for a human to raise a demon. He knew she was different then most humans but it had still been a shock when it became clear to him that the kit looked to her as his mother.

Sesshomaru also respected her for her power. She was a very powerful miko, the most powerful he had come across in a very long time. Many compared her to the half-breed's dead woman, both in looks and power, but he knew better. She looked similar to the dead one as far as facial structure went but that was it in his opinion, and as far as power was concerned- there was no comparison. The miko was more powerful even compared to when the dead one was alive, she just didn't know how to control her power. He found it amusing how everyone in her little group seemed surprised when she used it on a great scale and were awed that she seemed almost as powerful as the dead one, since he could tell that she was merely tapping into the well of her power.

He also respected her for her modesty. He had come across demons and humans who flaunted their power, and usually found that they weren't nearly powerful enough to boast about it. He knew that she didn't believe she was powerful, and he knew exactly where to lay blame for that, but he also knew that it wasn't in her nature to flaunt.

Knowing all this made it easy to admit to himself that he was concerned for her. It must have been something serious to reduce someone of her nature to the limp form hanging from his arm. He knew that she was talkative, she seemed to be unable to stay quiet all the times he was around her, so her silence only added to his concern. For someone of her talkative nature, being quiet could be destructive. Add that to what she must be feeling and it was no surprise that he was smelling sadness that seemed to be quickly shifting to misery. Still, he wasn't exactly welcoming her to open up to him.

After Sesshomaru checked on his ward and made sure Jaken would continue to look after her, he took to the sky to find a secluded area to settle in to get his answers. Once he found an area to his liking he touched back down and gently placed the miko in the short grass and took a seat against a tree across from her so that he would have a full on view of her.

So here he was staring at her and waiting for her answer. He wondered if she was going to answer him at all. It was clear after he had interrupted her attempt to end herself that she was no longer afraid of what he could do to her should she anger him. Death threats didn't work on someone who wanted to die, so he wondered what he would do if she refused to answer him.

-oOoOoOo-

Kagome blinked slowly at Sesshomaru's question as she continued to gaze blankly at him. His emotionless face showing exactly how she felt, and she wondered briefly if her face looked just as emotionless as his. Did it really matter what her face looked like? No, it didn't. Maybe her face was blank, maybe it wasn't. She knew, however, that she must look a fright. She had jumped off a cliff and then been carried around like baggage. Did her appearance offend Mr. High and Mighty over there? Did it matter? No, it didn't. What would he do if she didn't answer? Again, did it matter? Again, no it didn't.

"Why does it matter? Why do you care? Or maybe you don't care. Maybe you're just curious. Is that it? Are you having fun using my pain to satisfy your curiosity? Why are you curious anyway? What do you plan to do once you have your answer? Will you give me what I want then? Will you end my life?" she asked carelessly, her blank blue eyes never leaving his cold golden ones.

The powerful daiyoukai remained silent as he held her gaze.

"You know I've always liked your eyes." she said suddenly and watched him blink. She could swear he looked taken aback at her statement. "I like the shape and the color. Their more of a rich gold then amber." she continued, deciding that she would ask him questions and say things that she had always wanted to say and been curious about, but was too afraid of his reaction to act on them.

"I like your hair too. Is it as soft and silky as it looks? And your markings! I like those too. Do they mean anything? Do you have anymore hidden under those clothes?" she continued to ask, not waiting for a respond as her eyes wandered his face and shifted down his reclined body. "Speaking of clothes…I like those too. How do you manage to keep all that white clean? Is that fur on your shoulder just for decoration or is it an actual part of you? Is it as soft as it looks?" she asked wonderingly as she shifted her eyes to the furry mass.

"I just love how tall you are, and your voice! I like that it's quiet and slightly deep. Makes you sound mature and adds to your attraction." she said as her eyes took in his elegant presences.

Kagome trailed off into silence after that as she continued to gaze at the silent daiyoukai. He didn't look angry after all he had just heard. He just continued to stare at her with his cold eyes. She wondered what he was thinking. Wondered if he cared about what she had just said, wondered if he realized that she had just told him that she found him attractive, she wondered if she cared if he realized. No…no she didn't. Did she care about what he thought? No…no she didn't, but she was still curious.

"What are you thinking?" she asked quietly, knowing that she wouldn't get an answer but wanting to get it out there anyway.

She was right. They sat in silence still staring at each other, his eyes as cold as always and hers blank and lifeless. She wondered if he was always emotionless or if it had taken years to perfect. Were his cold eyes and expressionless face a way to mask his feelings and thoughts? They had to be. She decided. Everyone has emotions, some more then others. Perhaps he had a lot of emotions and he hid them so no one would use them against him, like they did with Him and her. But then she was an emotional creature, hiding her feelings could be dangerous to her health. Of course that was before she was broken.

Kagome blinked at the daiyoukai before her and wondered why it had never occurred to her to wonder if he hid his emotions. Why she had assumed that he was cold and emotionless just because that was what he projected to the world. Then it came to her. Sesshomaru showed her that persona and He reinforced it with his sad tale, and by the time their numerous fights with each other began her mind had been set on who the daiyoukai was. Her feelings for Him hadn't helped either.

"I wished on the jewel today and it's gone now." she said in a monotone, finally answering his question. "I wished for Him to have his hearts desire. The jewels power faded and then it disappeared. Nothing happened to me, I was still here, I hadn't been sent back home, so I foolishly believed that it was only because I was his hearts desire. I went to him, happy to show him that I was still there, only to find him standing next to the God tree...with Kikyou, who was very much alive." she continued, and paused as her eyes drifted from his to his magenta stripes.

"They were hugging in a way that told me clearly that he wasn't just happy that she was alive and well. Had I doubted the body language the kiss that followed was more then enough to tell me that my wish had apparently worked. He got his hearts desire...and it clearly wasn't me." she finished and lapsed into silence for a while before continuing.

"After that I ran. I ran from the pain and that's when you found me. I have never been in so much pain before. It felt as if my heart was literally breaking, so much so that I could hardly breath." she stated numbly.

"You might think my reaction was too extreme but a girl can only take so much heartache before she can't take anymore." she said and continued on to give him the details of the love triangle she had been tangled in, in detail from the very beginning so he could understand the full scope of her pain.

"Then just over a year ago He finally chose me. Since then we had been courting, or at least what he called courting, but I knew that he was going off at night to have sex with Kikyou when she decided to come around." she continued, her tone devoid of emotion.

Sesshomaru grimaced inwardly at the half-breeds behavior. With all he had heard so far Inuyasha was turning out to be more then just an embarrassment, he was a disgrace. Not only to his fathers blood but to inu-youkai everywhere. He had known over the years that the half-breed seemed unable to choose between the two females, but hadn't realized the extent of the problem. The bastard had repeatedly chose death over life, while stringing the young miko along, continuing to give her hope where none clearly was. He could tell that in the beginning she had simply been blinded by her feelings, but as time went on she had simply been holding on to hope and was caught in the cycle unable to break away because of said hope.

He also couldn't believe that the half-breed could rut with the dead. It should have gone against his instincts to do such a thing since the dead priestess wouldn't have been able to give him pups. His respect for the broken miko went up another notch since she clearly hadn't been willing to give up her innocence, at least not until he satisfied whatever requirements she'd had.

"I never let on that I knew because I knew that she would eventually die for good and then it would be over and done with." she finished, trailing into silence once again.

The daiyoukai's eyes narrowed imperceptibly as he gazed at the miko. He had the distinct feeling that there was more to that then what she was saying, and that was telling seeing as how she seemed to be holding nothing back.

"It's my fault you know. I made the wish, but that on top of everything else that has happened to me since coming to this time was just too much. It just finally caught up with me, and like I said before, you can only have your heart broken so many times before you can't take anymore." she said quietly almost whispering.

"Now I have nothing left. I'm too broken to stay around Shippo and my friends, and I have no where else to go in this time. I have no life in my own time. No one to relate to, no one who would understand my life. I have nothing to do there since I barely graduated high school and I don't think I did well enough to get into any university because I spent practically all my time here searching for jewel shards instead of studying and being in class. And none of this matters anyway since I don't even know if the well still works or not." she ranted morosely.

"What do you mean about this time and your time?" Sesshomaru asked, finally speaking since he inquired about her suicide mission. She was saying many things that he didn't understand.

Kagome explained about the well and how she originally ended up in the feudal era, how she was from about five hundred years into the future, and how as far as she knew He was the only other who could get through the well.

"None of this would have happened, I never would have come here and learned about demons and the Shikon jewel if my little brother hadn't been too scared to get the damned house cat!" she snapped.

Five hundred years into the future. Sesshomaru thought as he looked up into the sky. That explained much about the miko. Her strange clothes, the strange contraptions I have often seen her use, the way she spoke, the unfamiliar words she used, her bravery and independence, and her scent. Humans were clearly more hygienic in the future and for that I'm thankful. I fully intend to live to see what the world is like where she comes from and it would be nice if I don't have to worry about constantly smelling unwashed human bodies. He thought as his eyes dropped back down to the silent miko.

Her being from another time also explains her attitude when I first met her. Loud and foolishly brave. She had only just learned about demons and didn't yet understand just how dangerous we could be. He considered idly. Hn...does that mean there are no demons in the future? he wondered, a little disturbed. How could there be no demons? Demons live long lives. Some are immortal as long as they don't get themselves killed. Perhaps there have been ways developed to mask their presence? It's possible. If I can mask my scent and youkai now, I can only imagine what I could do in five hundred years. he considered, mentally cataloging the many things he could do but hadn't needed to use.

Kagome was silent after her explanation. By now it was completely pitch black out and all she could see were the stars in the sky. She couldn't see Sesshomaru at all. He could have gotten up and walked away for all she knew, and she wouldn't have cared anyway.

"Are all dog demons like Him?" she asked suddenly, wanting to know if it was all of them or just Him that acted in such a way. "If you had a girl who loved you would you treat her the way I was treated?" she added.

It was quiet for a while, so long that she had just begun to believe that he had actually left her alone before Sesshomaru finally spoke.

"No. Not all dog demons are like the half-breed, and I certainly am not." he answered quietly. "The half-breed is the way he is because of his mother. Not because she is human but because she was a spoiled princess. She was used to getting what she wanted all the time, and taught him that he could have anything he wanted whenever he wanted. That type of attitude was why he had it so hard as a half-breed. His mother did not prepare him for the reality of his life so that he could take care of himself when she was no longer around." he explained, deeming it important that she finally understand the reality of who the half-breed was.

"His mother would not even let him get the proper training he would need to protect himself. I had tried to get to him to teach him the ways of the inu and how to protect himself, but his mother and her people would not let me inside the palace to see him." he finished.

Kagome listened quietly as she looked in the direction his quiet voice came from. She had always wondered about His mother, but he had never told her and she hadn't pushed. Now she wished that she had. Perhaps she would have had a better understanding of him if she had known what his childhood was like. She had always imagined a child sized version of him out there on his own in the wild, but she should have remembered that he wasn't always that way.

"Is that why you repeatedly went after the sword or at least part of why? You were teaching him how to protect himself? If that's so…then had you been doing it since his mother died?" she asked thoughtfully.

"That is part of the reason yes." he answered, wondering why he was bothering to explain this to the miko. "Though I still believe he does not deserve my fathers fang, even if it is for his protection, he does not respect it or the power he wields. And yes, I have been fighting him in such a fashion since his mother died. And that only because he has my fathers blood in his veins. He is an embarrassment. He was a disgrace for chasing a dead woman when he had a living one available, and now he is even more of a disgrace for his foul treatment of you." he concluded, disdain clear in his tone at the thought of the half-breeds many transgressions.

Once again silence prevailed as they sat in the dark. Kagome eventually turned on her back so that she could gaze up at the sky and keep her mind clear by losing herself in the stars. Her companion had given her plenty to think about, but she didn't want to think about Him. She didn't want to think at all. She knew that thoughts would lead to the pain, and she needed to keep the pain away as long as possible.

"You should not end your life because of the half-breed. You should not let him have such control." Sesshomaru stated, breaking the long silence.

"It doesn't matter. I have nothing left to live for." she responded blankly.

"What of your friends?" he asked.

"Sango and Miroku have each other. They will soon marry and start the lives they put on hold to hunt Naraku. Shippo will stay with them. I can't be around a child right now, let alone try and raise one. And Kaede will continue to live her life." she answered in a monotone.

"What of your friends on the other side of the well? What of your family?" he asked probingly.

"I don't have any friends back home anymore. They've all moved on with their lives, and even if they were still around how could I possibly relate to them? All I would be able to talk about is my time over here and I obviously can't do that." she said bitterly. "My mother, brother, and grandfather…they have each other. They've been living without me so far, why not make it permanent? It would be better then subjecting them to my depression and uselessness." she added numbly.

"Besides, if I don't go back through the well then they'll assume that the well wouldn't let me through and that I'm stuck here, which is probably true, so they would never know that I was alive or not." she added as an after thought.

"Your family would be able to help you through this would they not?" he asked. He didn't know why he was trying to keep her alive. He just thought it wasn't right that she had been treated so badly and driven to such an extreme. She had done so much. She had helped defeat Naraku and gotten rid of that curse jewel. Her life should have turned out better then this.

"I don't want their help." she said bluntly, and she meant it. She did not want to live. She had nothing to live for and she was in too much pain to even think of trying.

"But they would be able to help?" he asked and Kagome hissed angrily and sat up.

"What does it matter?! I don't want their help, and if you're going to continue on like this then I'm leaving!" she said as she got to her feet. "I'm sure I'll eventually run into something that wants me dead." she added as she picked a direction away from where his voice was coming from and began to walk.

Sesshomaru was on her before she had managed to take three steps, his arm snaking around her waist. He picked her up when she began to struggle and brought her back to where he had been sitting. He wasn't about to let her walk around at night when she couldn't see where she was going and had a death wish.

Kagome moaned sadly when she realized Sesshomaru was not going to release her. He'd made himself comfortable and appeared to be ready to sit there like that all night after he'd managed to settle her between his legs with her back facing his chest.

"Why are you doing this?! Why won't you let me go? No one will miss me!" she said sadly as she tried to pull his arm away from its locked position.

"Your family will miss you. Your friends will miss you." he stated calmly.

"They won't know and they'll eventually get over my disappearance! Just please! I don't want to be here! It hurts too much." she cried out, the pain bringing tears back to her eyes. She tried to blink them away but they spilled over instead and the trickle soon became a flood.

She eventually relaxed against his silk covered body as she cried her heart out, great big sobs that filled the night air, until her tears trailed off into sniffles. She hugged his arm tight to her, not caring what he thought of that as her tired mind drifted into sleep.

Instead of dreaming Kagome found herself in a meeting. She knew that she was dreaming because she was aware that her demon companion was not here with her to keep her from trying to hurt herself again.

The place she found herself in was all white, from top to bottom, no lines or corners visible to indicate if it was a room or not. She was also aware that she was alone, but that didn't last long. Soon she was joined by a beautiful woman dressed in the red and white priestess clothing with armor covering her chest, stretching down over her thighs and covering her shoulders and upper arms. She had a sword attached to her hip looking completely comfortable with it there. Long thick black hair with blue undertones flowed down her back past her waist and blue eyes.

The young girl knew instantly that the legendary miko Midoriko was standing before her.

"Umm…why am I here?" she asked the older woman.

"You are here because you are in terrible pain." Midoriko said simply. "The daiyoukai is right Kagome. You should not allow the half-demon to control your life in such a way. You should give yourself a chance to heal."

"How am I suppose to heal when I'm in so much pain, and how am I suppose to stop it?" she asked desperately.

"You need to be away from familiar people and try traveling around to give yourself time to heal before returning to your time." the older miko suggested. "The well will allow you one more trip through and back, so you can go to your time, gather what you would need and speak to your family before going back. The next time you go through the well back to your time will be the last." she explained patiently. "And do not worry about the half-demon going through to your time. There will be a barrier preventing his access." she added.

"Speak with the daiyoukai about this when you wake up. He might have some ideas on where you should go." she concluded helpfully.

"Okay, but…can I ask you something that's been bothering me." Kagome asked and received a nod in return. "Why didn't I die when Kikyou was brought back to life? With me being her reincarnation I would have expected that to happen." she said. It had been nagging at her but she hadn't had the chance to focus on it with everything else she had been feeling.

"You are not Kikyou's reincarnation child." Midoriko said with a smile. "You are my reincarnation. You had been carrying Kikyou's soul in order to bring it back to the past with you. That is also the reason you look similar to the other priestess." she assured her.

Kagome smiled at this news. It was nice to know that she was not the copy of Kikyou. She no longer had to worry about being compared to the previously dead woman.

"It is time that you leave this place and get some rest before you wake. Please, do not give up. Things will get better if you give it enough time." Midoriko said just before the white around the space they were in began to envelope the warrior miko, blocking out Kagome's view before fading into black.