Read it and weep.

The dial tone rung annoyingly in my right ear as I held my breath, praying that Matsuda would pick up. I don't want to do this. The amused looks from Beyond and Akari made me replay the previous conversation I had with L.

"Call Matsuda and see if you can get any information out of him, preferably if he is alone or in danger."

I frowned. "How do I do that without drawing suspicion? If there's anyone else in the room, won't they know something's up?"

A flicker of amusement flashed across the detective's eyes as he held the phone toward me between the tips of his fingers. "Simple: pretend to be his girlfriend." I was surprised L would suggest something like that, but then I assumed he knew me well enough to deduct I had no romantic feelings for the naive rookie.

"Hello?" Matsuda's seemingly calm voice finally spoke after an eternity of endless ringing. I restrained a sigh of relief, glad to know they weren't torturing information out of him. Most likely they thought he was a spy at first.

L gave me a quick nod, a gesture for me to speak. "Matsui!" Instantly my voice was flooded with exaggerated relief and annoyance. "You told me you were gonna call me when you were on your next break but I haven't gotten a single text!" Using Misa as an example, I attempted to pull off the over-dramatic girly voice for effect.

"Oh, h-hey Kaiyo!" Thankfully Matsuda seemed to get the message by my acting voice. Clearly I would never sound that dramatic. "Sorry I didn't call you. I kinda got busy with my work and all…" He gave a nervous laugh at the end.

This is the part that would definitely throw him off. "Too busy to call your own girlfriend?" I swear I heard him gulp on the other end. "Jeez, you can be a real dork sometimes, you know?" I laughed it off like it was nothing, but if it were real I totally would've chewed him out. "So, you done yet?"

"Uh, sort of…"

Not giving him a chance to stutter, I cut in quickly. "By yourself or is Misa still with you? If she is, tell her I said Bonjour!"

I bit my lip, hoping he was smart enough to know what was going on. Or maybe Misa was there and this whole thing was an accident. Hey, maybe there's not actually a chance he could've just screwed up our whole operation. "Yeah, I'm by myself now. What are you up to?"

Pressing my hand over the speaker and pulling the phone momentarily away from me, I turned to L (perching) and Light (standing). "He says he's not with Misa," I reported in a whisper. "But it's obvious someone else is with him." The way his voice sounded was so automatic and… nervous.

Immediately I answered back to Matsuda in a suddenly sweet, seductive voice that was bound to make him blush. "Well, babe, I was hoping you and I could go out tonight. You know, go to the movies. We can get a seat in the very back, just the two of us alone, where it's dark…"

I glanced to my right to see L's eyes narrowing - karma is hopefully biting him in the butt for suggesting this - a tint of blush on Light's cheeks, and my two friends about to bust out laughing. I wondered what the others behind me were thinking.

I would have paid to see the look on his face if I could've. "I-I, uh, d-do we have to do it tonight?" Stuttering like an idiot, his voice began to get high with nervousness, even though this was all fake. "S-Sorry, Kaiyo, I don't think it's a good night.."

Scoffing, I dropped the cutesy tone instantly. "Aw seriously? Let me guess, your credit card is in trouble again? I told you not to waste money on that entire manga series!"

The slight relief in his voice indicated that he had picked up on the other hint. "Oh, yeah, big trouble with money again. You know me and my manga collection! I promise I'll take you out some other night sweetie!"

Sweetie? I gagged, pulling away from the phone and turning back to the others. "Uh, he's saying that he's in big trouble." Flashing a concerned look, I returned to the phone with fake disappointment. "Aw that sucks. Maybe I'll stop by your apartment tomorrow night and we can have some fun there. -Oh, gotta go babe, my sister's calling me! See ya tomorrow!" I hung up before he could say anything else, then I handed the phone back to L.

Nearby, Light flipped his phone shut with irritation, letting out a deep breath to control his rising anger. "Misa's cell phone is on voicemail. I left her a message and told her to get back to me as soon as possible."

We were all gathered in a group around L's chair - Light, Akari, Beyond, Mr. Yagami, Mogi, Aiber, Wedy, and me - waiting for further instructions. When L declared that we should just wait it out, I stood up from my chair.

"We can't just sit here," I said, crossing my arms with frustration. It unnerved me to not know what was happening; anxiety built up in me whenever I was told to wait, whenever I wasn't able to do something. "The Yotsuba men are probably debating on whether or not to kill poor Matsuda right now. Yotsuba is a powerful company so who knows what they'll do to him if we don't intervene soon."

"What do you suggest we do?" asked Light. At first I assumed he was mocking me, challenging me to see if I actually had a plan. But his tone of voice was sincere, like he genuinely wanted to know.

I gave him my signature I've-always-got-a-plan smile and took off my reading glasses, gently placing them on the table before reaching for my black over-sized hoodie and slipping it on. Yanking the hood over my braided silver hair, I spun around to the watchful others. "I'm going over to the shoot to get Misa. Remember, Matsuda's working as her manager so it's likely he's using the model as a cover. If that's true, then all we have to do is get Misa over there so they'll believe Matsuda. Easy as pie."

"I prefer cake," L muttered. I chose to roll my eyes.

"What are you gonna do?" questioned Akari, examining my mysterious outfit change. She knows me way too well. "Looks like you've got something else planned."

Flashing a cheeky smirk, I leaned against the table casually. "Aw, way to ruin my fun. It was supposed to be a surprise."

Light narrowed his eyes, growing protective all of a sudden. "Wait, were you actually gonna sneak into Yotsuba yourself? That's way too dangerous! There's no way I'm letting you do that." The old Light was probably worried about me personally. The new Light was worried that I'd blow our entire team's operation.

Waving his concern away with a dismissive hand, I simply shrugged. "Ah, but that's not for you to decide. Besides, it's not like I'm going in with a gun and a sign that says 'I'm a spy' so I think I'll be fine." When his expression didn't falter, I rolled my eyes. "What, don't you trust me?"

"Yuki." Mentally I sighed at L's stern voice. "Light is absolutely correct. It is too dangerous for you to go in alone."

I was about to protest when Beyond stepped forward, hands nonchalantly held behind his back. "I'll go in with her." This time Akari was the one to narrow her eyes. Beyond gave her a reassuring nudge in the arm. "Don't worry, I think I can handle it."

L looked blankly between my brother and I, realizing that I was going in either way. We both knew my eyes, along with Beyond's, were useful, but what he doesn't know is that we can also see a person's lifespan.

I remembered the night I came to Light's house- when Kira was first developing- and, for the first time, I couldn't see his lifespan. Along came Misa Amane and I discovered that she was the same. Later they're both suspected of being Kira and the second Kira by the world's greatest detective. Coincidence or not?

If Kira is working for Yotsuba then maybe he'll be there and I'll find him since he'll be the only one without a lifespan. Now, this isn't a confirmed fact, but I know that not seeing a lifespan and Kira are related. Somehow, I just knew it.

"Alright," my lovely detective finally concluded reluctantly. "All I ask is that you do not do anything drastic and dangerous that would get you noticed." Then, shuffling forward, he whispered something briskly into my brother's ear.

I was curious, yes, extremely curious. Whatever the detective said caused Beyond to curl his lips into a satisfied, cocky smile. Akari and I shared suspicious looks as L turned away and returned to the chair. Even Light seemed curious, but the other members just brushed it off.

"Let's go." Linking arms with Beyond, I pulled him along as we exited the room.

When I left HQ that night, I was unreasonably happy. Maybe it was because L was finally trusting me to do missions on my own, or somewhat on my own. Either way worked. Maybe it was because I just had that peppy attitude sometimes. Maybe it was because I was with my brother, and we were finally happy.

Whatever the reason, I left cheerful. The next time I returned, I would be devastated.

The sun had long set by the time we reached Misa's shoot. The shoot was engaged in a momentary break as the directors and producers discussed the next scene. Scanning the crowd, I winced as my eyes glided over numerous names, too many to recall, in search of the blonde.

From my side, Beyond nudged me and nodded to the left. Following his direction, I caught sight of a girl wearing an angel costume, white fluffy wings almost draping over her entire figure.

I rushed across the stone ground to catch up with Misa, lunging forward to grab onto her shoulder and give it a tight squeeze. With a small gasp, she spun around, face changing from annoyance to jubilance the instant she recognized me. "Kaiyo!" Slipping a glance to the boy beside me, she gave him a tentative smile. "Uh, Beyond, too! What are you guys doing here?"

I opened my mouth, ready to explain the plan of somehow rescuing Matsuda, when her work phone rang from her nearby coat pocket. Quickly retrieving it, she tilted her head at the number. "Huh, it's Matsu. Pff, what a jerk, disappearing like that!"

"Answer it," I ordered, immediately pulling out my phone and dialing Light's number. When he answered, I spoke briskly, "Just shut up and listen for a sec."

Immediately following, Misa flipped open her phone and, almost automatically, Matsuda's voice spoke. I was swift to hold the phones close by so everyone could hear. "Misa Misa! When you're done filming, come over to the Yotsuba group head office. It's still tentative, but there's a chance you may be able to appear in Yotsuba's commercials! We're working it out now."

I held back a sigh of relief from within. Thank goodness… he sounds safe. Unhurt, at the least. After what happened with Ukita a while back, I've always been protective of the Task Force team. That day was another brush with death - Ukita and my father both leaving this earth - and I hated not being able to do anything. We were down one team member that day, and I swore I'd never let that happen again.

Briefly closing the door to my thoughts, I waited until Misa hung up her phone to begin talking on mine. "Light, Ryuzaki… what's the plan?"

As they hastily considered the strategy with one another on the other line, I turned to Beyond and pulled the hoodie down more to conceal my forehead. "You know what we're looking for, right?" He silently nodded, a look of mischief and yearning adrenaline flashing across his matching red eyes. No one else, besides Akari, knew we could see anyone's life span.

Like any normal person, I have secrets. If someone knew my secrets, that meant they were close to me. My red eyes, my father, the death of my mother… Akari and Beyond (after I filled him in about our mother) were the only people who knew everything about that. In all honestly, Akari probably knows everything about me. I never wanted to let anyone else in because I was afraid. I knew my eyes were a curse. They brought death. No one could get close to me, no matter how much I desired them to.

I took a look at myself from a year ago and compared it to who I was in the present, and look at me! Suddenly I'm meeting all new people, forming an amazing investigation team, harboring feelings for a mysterious detective… I never would have expected my life to come to this.

L… L. The world's greatest detective. He also knew about my eyes. I mean, I've always had high school crushes, like literally every hormonal teenager, but never did I think I'd start getting legit feelings for a guy, and be close enough to tell him one of my most precious secrets. Someday soon, if I could muster up the courage, I'd tell him everything. Someday.

When Light and L finished discussing the scheme to Misa, Beyond, and I, we all went our separate ways, my brother and I slithering away to conduct our original project of espionage.

While Beyond and I are snooping around, Misa will go to the Yotsuba head office and meet Matsuda. From there they will hold a special party along with other girls to entertain the men. Though Matsuda hasn't been filled in yet, he will then pretend to be highly intoxicated, climb on the balcony railing, and slip off, falling to his impending death. Or at least that is what the Yotsuba men should infer.

Hopefully everything would go according to plan.

It was fairly easy sneaking past outside security and entering the Yotsuba building. As long as we watched our backs and made cautious moves, we weren't seen. Briefly we would pass businessmen in suits, usually in pairs, who would continue to chat as they walked by us, not even attempting to glance our way.

Both of us would act normal as they approached, but would secretly catch a glimpse of the area above their head. Upon seeing their real name and lifespan, we would unsuspectingly move on.

After almost a half hour of walking around and doing this same operation, and coming up empty handed, I was ready to give up and call it another consecutive work day.

My brother, noticing my lack of motivation, stopped us in the middle of the hall and faced the floor, eyes lowering in thought. "What's wrong?" I questioned gently, wondering if he, too, was ready to call this Kira search quits.

A nostalgic smile came to his pale face. I say nostalgic because of what he said next. "I've had an amazing year, you know?" Rolling my eyes, I secretly prayed he wasn't going to get all mushy at a time like this, in the middle of a secret mission. "I mean, LA was great and all, but coming here and reuniting with you and Akari, and L, was truly… entertaining."

Deciding to humor this little moment we were sharing, I crossed my arms. "Alright… favorite part out of the whole year?"

"Don't make me choose," he whined, elbowing me playfully. "But if I'm going to… I'd have to say eating all that jam." As I glared at him, his face was deadpan for a second before turning into a cocky smirk. "Be honest, I'm hilarious."

"Uh-huh, a real wisecrack."

"Seriously though." Suddenly his face softened, a wave of unknown affection glistening mysteriously. "You and Akari have made my time here the best time of my life. I'll never forget that. And meeting Dad… " He trailed off, letting the unique memory of our father fade away before speaking again. "You know, I've counted this experience as a trip of self discovery."

My inside fluttered with hope at his words. For awhile, I had been contemplating what he'll do after the Kira case: if he chose to stay here, or go wherever L permits him to. Everything in my power wants him to stay here, with Akari and me, so we can be a family. A real family.

I smiled, but tried to hide my hopefulness. "So what have you discovered, oh dear brother?" I waited for him to answer, but he didn't. My smile faltered as I stared into the abyss of his blood red eyes, looking for an answer as his face remained the same.

Then, I saw it.

No…

I blinked once, thinking I had just imagined it.

No, no…

That familiar look was there, in his eyes. The one I had always feared.

Please God, no…

Ever so slowly, the corners of his lips rose into a sadistic smirk, eyes scanning my face, amused by my reaction. I could see it in his eyes. His blood red eyes. His cursed eyes.

"I love you sis," he said, genuine and soft voice. "I love Akari, too."

"Beyond…" I trailed off warningly, hoping he wouldn't do this. That look. It's the same look he had on the last night we saw him in LA. The same one Dad use to have.

"But I've discovered something." His hands slithered up the side of his jeans and into his pocket for something to grab. "We both know what Dad did to Mom. And we both know that I'm Dad's son." That's not the first time Beyond has solemnly reminded me. He's Dad's son. I'm Mom's daughter. "As much as I enjoy having a real family, we know fate won't let me be happy."

Before I realized it, a pocket knife had entered his palm and was clutched tightly in his hand. He stood still, just staring at it thoughtfully as he spoke to me. "I'm a killer because I was born the son of a broken man. I can't hide that fact no matter how much I want to, and trust me, I really want to. But there's this yearning, this passion, inside of me to kill." I gulped, hands clenching into a fearful fist. Just the way he said it sounded so… normal to him. "It's a bloodlust, really, something I can't control. I've trapped it in a cage for so long, but now it's trying to break free and I'm not certain I can stop it."

"Control it Beyond," I begged. I wanted to hug him, hold him, but my feet, and sanity, wouldn't let me move any closer. "You're not Dad, you can fight it. Fight it and stay with Akari and me. We care about you, B."

Tilting his head up, he flashed a sad, longing smile to me. I know he wanted to. All he ever wanted was to be normal, and I felt the same. But we aren't normal. We are cursed. "I'm sorry Yuki. You and I both know I won't get a happy ending."

This time I actually did step forward, ready to snatch the knife away and somehow stop him from giving into the feelings, but I wasn't able to. Suddenly two men in grey suits turned the sharp corner and stopped in their tracks.

At first I wondered why they hadn't just passed us. Was it Beyond's knife that threw them off? Then I realized that the man on the left stiffened with slight caution. "Hey, this floor is restricted to visitors. Who the heck let you two up here?"

"Wait a sec," the one on the right spoke up roughly, tightening the grip on his briefcase. "I've seen you" pointing to Beyond "in the news. You're that psycho guy from America. The one who killed three people, and almost himself. Why are you-"

Everything was frozen as we stared at each other in an intense battle. Automatically my eyes flickered to their names. The short man on the left, thick curly brown hair, gruff face, brown eyes: Shiba Akatsuka. The tall man on the right, neatly trimmed blond hair and thin black glasses: Taji Itoh.

Their presence wasn't, though it should've been, what shocked me the most. It was the fact that both men were supposed to die almost immediately. Both their numbers decreased the longer we stared at them.

Beyond knew he had been caught. Raising the knife, he inched forward, ready to attack. "Don't you dare," I warned, knowing full well that he would. "Please B."

The man on the left, Shiba, was light on his feet, dashing forward to swing his briefcase at my brother, knocking him to the floor. "Itoh, go get the others! We've got trespassers!"

No! I mentally shouted, not wanting our cover to be blown even further. Leaping forward, I jumped onto Itoh's back, wrapping my arms around his neck and tugging him back. Assuming that I was trying to strangle him, the man shoved me against the wall, making me let out a cry of pain.

Beyond instantly snapped his head up as both men went to grab me harshly as I tried to escape. This definitely wasn't going as planned.

In my efforts to escape the barbarous hold of the men, I was completely caught off guard when Shiba let out a shout of anguish at the same time a piercing sound echoed through the corridor.

Itoh and I gasped in horror as Shiba dropped to the ground, seemingly lifeless and bleeding. Beyond stood behind him, knife dripping with fresh blood. The conclusion was blurry in my mind; I didn't want to believe that my brother had just stabbed him.

Soon it became more clear. With Itoh and I standing in fear, Beyond hovered over Shiba as he bled out, and raised the knife high. A look of adrenaline and excitement were the only thing I could sense in his eyes; no guilt, no remorse.

To this day, the image is still vividly etched into my brain. Beyond powerfully bringing the knife down, continuously jabbing it into Shiba's chest. His maniacal laughter and crazed eyes overtook over my vision as I watched him repeatedly stab the man. Blood spattered on his grey sweatshirt, and also on Itoh and me. "Kyhaahaahaa!"

Almost immediately after Beyond's tenth stab, Itoh finally came to his senses and, before I could stop him, whacked Beyond in the head with the briefcase. When he did so, I made a move to tackle him, but the man was quick enough to smack me, too, on the side of my head.

My vision jolted as I tumbled to the ground, head aching violently, eyes burning, heart pounding. Pain rushed through my body as I laid on the floor, struggling to get up. Lifting my head, I watched in absolute terror as Itoh grabbed the knife that had fallen from Beyond's hand and stood over the killer who was laying on his back.

My heart stopped as Itoh connected the tip of the knife with Beyond's stomach. Twice. Three times. Itoh stabbed Beyond three times before I lunged myself at the man with everything I had - mix of rage, rancor, pain, and fear.

When Itoh was on the ground, I did the unthinkable.

I picked up the knife, the blood cascading onto my hand, and took a deep breath...

Then, I stabbed the man. In the neck. Thankfully I had the sense to close my eyes before I could see it happen, but I could feel the blade piercing the skin, and hear his last, suffering cry of pain before the life faded out of him.

My eyes closed, I breathed heavily. When nothing happened for a moment, I opened my eyes and got off Itoh, purposely avoiding his facial area, and instantly moved to my brother.

Thank God I thought. He wasn't dead, yet. But his numbers kept falling down rapidly.

"B-Beyond," I stuttered a cry of heartache and dread, seeing him bleed out. I felt helpless, knowing he was going to die. Sitting next to his right side, I cupped his face as tears rolled down mine. The liveliness in his orbs was draining away as he stared up at me with dejection. "You-you're such a moron." Biting my lip, I held back tears of grief, making myself be strong. "Come on, let's get you up and out of here. W-We need to go now."

I attempted to pull him up, but he only shoved me away weakly. "Stop it Yuki.. I can't.. It hurts." Beyond gave a bitter laugh and blood spit out of his mouth. "That was fun, don't you think?"

I wanted to slap him, chastise him for everything he just did. Everything I just did. But I couldn't be mad. Not now. My lips quivered as I tried to smile. "I can't be angry at you B.. I love you too much."

He shook his head slowly, wincing at the sudden pain. "Don't get mushy on me now… You're supposed to save that for my funeral." That time I did smack him, hot tears streaking down my face. As I looked in his eyes, I saw love. Love and regret.

"Look Beyond, you're gonna be fine," I weakly assured him, looking around us to make sure no one was coming. "I'll just call L and-"

"L can't save me," he said, but it came out as more of a whisper. "No one can. I'm dying Yuki so stop trying to pretend that everything's okay. If you don't leave now then you're as good as dead, too."

On cue, loud voices were heard down the hall heading straight towards us. Soon they'd find us and- "I can't leave you," I shook my head, unwilling to think about it. "I'm staying right by your side."

"You'll be an idiot if you do."

"I'm already an idiot."

Swallowing the lump in his throat, Beyond held back a single tear that was forming in his eye. I knew he wouldn't let me see him cry. "It's funny… L specifically told me to keep you safe, no matter what the cost." So that's what he whispered to B back there… "It seems like I've done just the opposite. You even killed a-"

"Shut up," I snapped out of pain and guilt. "Just shut and and let me pull you. We can get down the hall and hide in a closet or something." I searched around frantically, but the voices coming closer made it hard to concentrate.

"Go," he urged, pain streaking his face. "Tell Akari that I… I love her. Tell L that I bought him a jam costume for Halloween. I love you Yuki." His finally words hurt so much, I couldn't bear to hear them.

"I love you too," I smiled bitterly. Moving a hand across his black bangs, I gently kissed his forehead. "Beyond, I-"

"Go," he urged again as shadows appeared on the wall. When I didn't move, he said louder, "GO!" Closing my eyes, I stood up and sprinted to the other end of the hall. Just as my body turned the corner and pressed up against the wall, the voices echoed in the hallway.

"Hey! Somebody call an ambulance!" Men shuffled into the hall, but thankfully stopped at the middle where the scene was. "D****t! It's a bloody gangbang!"

I pressed my hand up against my mouth to suppress the cries of agony and grief coming from my broken heart. My brother was dead- dying- and I couldn't save him. I had lost the last of my family members.

That was the story of my life. Death was my curse.

"Don't call the ambulance!" someone contradicted. "They're all dead anyways. What good would it be now? Most importantly, we don't want the press to get a hold of this or we'll be done for. If they found out we let a killer somehow get into the building, the news will eat us alive. That won't be good for business." That's all they care about? Their business?!

"We have to inform the families," someone decided. "I'm sure they'll want the bodies."

"What do we tell them?" one man questioned.

"The truth. Someone broke in and killed them. We'll just make sure none of this reaches the public."

"What do we do with the other guy then? Like you said, if the media finds out-"

"They won't find out. We'll put him in the dumpster for now, let him bleed to death, then take him somewhere else later."

"Why the dumpster?"

"We don't have time to do anything right now. We've got clients waiting and if they found out about this then business would go down for sure."

I didn't wait to hear any more. My feet darted down the next hall and searched for an exit. Tears stained my face, my hand still pressed against my mouth to control my sobbing. Not caring if anyone saw me, I dashed across the lobby and out the front doors.

I only made it halfway to HQ before I collapsed in the middle of the stone path where anyone could see me. I didn't care though. The thought of my brother, laying there bleeding to death caused me to cry. Not loudly, but silently, with even more tears.

I cried longer than ever before. Not when my mother was killed. Not when my dad died. Beyond Birthday… my brother… had just been killed. Fate would argue that it's a fair trade. He reaped what he sowed.

None of this would have happened if it weren't for Kira. If the mass murderer never came about, Beyond would still be in prison, but at least alive. The world wouldn't be in fear. I wouldn't be in this situation, searching for the infamous murderer, and Beyond wouldn't be dead. I wouldn't have had to use my eyes for the case. Light would still be normal to me. The Task Force would have one more member.

I never would have let myself get close to a certain detective. In my eyes, it was only a matter of time before my death curse caught up to him. It's written in my history; anyone I care about ends up dying. It had taken Akari several heated debates before I let her get so close; she knew what she was getting into. But L? He didn't need this, he didn't need me to slow him down. That extraordinary detective deserved so much better.

I was sitting on the stone path, criss cross, wet face in my hands, bawling, when rapid footsteps approached, and the voice of my best friend echoed the night. "Yuki? What are you doing out here? And where's Beyond?"

Lifting my head weakly, I let her see my despaired face so I wouldn't have to say it. It hurt to much to say it. Her face dropped in dread, the realization coming to her as she noticed the smeared blood on my face and clothes.

Lowering to her knees right in front of me, she stared, paralyzed, into my pained eyes, misery sketched on her face. "Yuki… tell me Beyond is alright." Shaking my head frantically, I still couldn't speak. "No.. No." She was obviously livid, hands clenched into a fist. "What… how did this… no, stop screwing around."

"Beyond is…" I searched for the right words to explain, but I found none. Only a sorrowful expression. The tears finally ceased, but that wouldn't last for long.

"He's… he's gone?" Her words were hollow, face pale. I nodded, hoping she wouldn't get furious and blame me or something. Instead of fury came disbelief. It took her a minute before the realization sunk in. When it did, tears formed in her eyes.

That night, we sat together on the stone path, arms wrapped comfortingly around each other, mourning the loss of our beloved friend. My brother. Her boyfriend. Beyond Birthday.

o_o

Don't worry, there is still much more to this story that will keep you reading. Buckle up because it's not over yet. Crap, I think this is the longest chapter yet!