Oh my gosh, I loved the reviews for the last chapter! Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed and favored/followed this story - you guys make me so happy ~ !
Sorry it's been awhile! Forgive me - here's the long awaited chapter! :D
Disclaimer: Don't own Death Note, only my lovely OCs ~
October 11th (very early morning)
We were on the bridge, hands squeezing tightly together, gazing at the moon-lit water below. Stars sprinkled the night sky, the full moon ominously hanging high above us, almost like it was just watching us as we sat on the metal railing, our legs dangling off the side.
Akari's breaths were shaky, strained with emotional rage and grief. The last memories of her boyfriend were most likely replaying in her head to keep her from breaking down at the thought of him actually dead.
I, on the other hand, witnessed the entire thing happen. Something like that… it's too traumatizing to forget. Especially when it's your own brother. The last person in my family I had left and… now he's gone.
All because of Kira. This whole thing started because of one person's twisted view of justice. Whoever he was, wherever he was, he deserved what was coming to him. L would find him and eliminate that SOB.
The thought of somebody else catching him though… it disgruntled me. The glory and praise of capturing the world's worst mass murderer didn't strike me as pleasing. To me, glory and fame didn't matter anymore.
I wanted to be the one to stick a bullet straight through that bastard's head. Extreme? Like I said, he deserved it. After all the pain and trouble he's caused to the people around me, Kira wouldn't get his version of a happy ending.
A gust of the chilly October wind hit me like a tidal wave. I shivered, shoving my left hand into my sweater pocket while the other squeezed tighter to Akari's. Turning my head, I saw Akari's expression hadn't changed: her eyes were lost in deep thought, face remaining a hollow force field to mask her depressing state of mind.
I returned my gaze back to the water with a sigh. Was all of this worth it anymore? My parents were dead, my brother was dead, Akari was grieving… Did I have anyone else to live for?
My career was already simple enough: finish college then become a detective, possibly an intern first. After that it was steady sailing, but… was there anything more?
"I'm tired," my best friend whispered, voice slightly hoarse from crying earlier. We had never went back to everyone else. We couldn't. "Tired of crying, tired of trying, tired of thinking, tired of fighting… tired of losing."
Our sad gazes met and I could see the fear in her eyes. Fear of the future. Fear of what's to come. Dropping my head to stare at the water far below us, I closed my eyes.
Saying that I never thought of suicide would be lying. After my mother died, after I discovered that my dad had killed her, I was terrified that he would do the same to me. Ultimately, I was terrified to want to keep on living with him, but that feeling barely lasted.
Even if I wanted to do it, I couldn't. No, I was always too scared. Ironic, huh? Believing I cause death, but too afraid to die myself. I left that contemplation up to logic: dying usually hurts. I didn't want to hurt more than I already did.
Still, parts of me continued to nag on. Just slide off they whispered. Akari will do it, too, so you have no one else to live for. At that exact moment, I realized it for the first time: I did have someone to live for. And he was waiting for me back at HQ.
"Then let's let someone else be tired," I suggested confidently, turning to look at the redhead on my right. "Kira deserves this, not us. I'm going to make him pay."
Her eyes widened at the realization of what my new mission was. "You're seriously going through with that?" Akari had always been the aggressive friend in our duo, and seeing me take a sudden dark turn must've surprised her.
I nodded, keeping our eye contact locked firmly. "Let him be the one to cry in suffering, to try too hard, to fight and end up losing." Spinning around, I swung my legs over the railing and hopped onto the bridge platform, gently tugging her along behind me. "We still have work to do."
I think I've screwed up the five stages of grief completely, starting backwards and skipping around. Acceptance was my first response, instead of last, since I was right there when Beyond was stabbed. Depression followed, absorbing into me that night on the path and on the bridge with Akari. Bargaining wasn't even an option for me, nor was denial.
That left anger, and, boy, was I angry. Angry at myself, angry at Kira… although, I may have been using my anger to hide the grief I had still left inside. Either way, I wasn't going to break down in front of everyone. Remain vigilant and strong, show no weakness!
…
But none of that actually held up when we arrived back at HQ. Stumbling through the doors to the main room, the first person I saw was L. L, who could almost qualify to be B if it wasn't for his spikier hair, obsidian eyes, clothes, and personality. Still… for a second, I saw B.
My eyes welled up with tears, head shaking. The pain, the memory- everything I had previously tried to block out- instantly came back to me, smacking me in the head like a boomerang.
I didn't bother to look around the room to see who else was there before the tears blurred my vision. Letting go of Akari's hand, I lowered myself to the ground and brought my knees as close to my chest as I could.
"Yuki?" Light's confused, worried voice filled my ears. "What's wrong? Akari, what happened?" I weakly lifted my head to see the redhead bury herself into Light's shirt as he approached with the detective.
L didn't hesitate to crouch in front of me and speak. "Yukimi… are you hurt? Where is your brother?"
"He's gone," Akari answered for me, peeking out from Light's shirt. He had his arms around her comfortingly, a little taken back by Akari's crying. Our eyes met as he studied me, but I had to look away.
"What happened?" the brunet asked again, this time in a more calm voice, trying to take control of the situation. When neither of us gave him a direct answer, he gave up and patiently waited.
After a moment, I wiped the tears from my eyes and returned my gaze to L. His dark eyes seemed to understand that something had happened, but they weren't nearly as concerned for my brother as they were for me.
Why would he care about me? I thought. Hasn't my presence just screwed everything up and made things more confusing? Doesn't he understand I bring death wherever I go? How could a seemingly emotionless detective even a girl like me around anymore?
Behind my contradictory thoughts, I knew the answers to my questions. I was starting to understand why I was here, with him and everyone else. Something was happening that neither of us could change, whether we were ready for it or not.
October 14th
L's POV
At precisely 4:13 a.m. on October 11th, Yuki mysteriously retreated to her room on the second floor, and I have not seen her since. She has not even ventured down to eat cake with me during the late hours of the night like we occasionally did before.
Three days later I find my daily thoughts are more than often about her (20% Kira case, 40% cake, 40% Yuki). Yukimi Miyoshi. The girl who blackmailed me into allowing her access to the Kira case. The sister of the late Beyond Birthday, infamous serial killer I managed to capture in LA. Daughter of an occasionally-unstable father with Dissociative Identity Disorder. The girl with the red eyes.
Two feet to my right, Light sighed, his chocolate eyes mindlessly scanning the computer screen. "This is absolutely tedious," he muttered, clicking off the screen and slightly spinning his chair to face me, hoping to discover a sliver of entertainment. "Has Wedy set up the security cameras yet?"
Taking the fork between my fingertips, I cut a small piece from the strawberry cake in front of me. "She is getting the equipment set up now. Do net fret, she will most likely complete the task sometime tonight." Taking a bite of the sugary dessert, I savored the delectable sensation in my mouth, longing for more. If only every food tasted this sweet.
From the corner of my eye, I could tell Light resisted the urge to sigh again. His gaze wandered from me to the peak of the staircase that led to the second floor. I narrowed my eyes. There is a 69% chance he is thinking about Yuki, and a 31% chance he is thinking about Akari.
"It's been three days since they disappeared up there," Light stated, his gaze turning soft with sympathy. "I hope they're alright. Has anybody went to check on them?"
"I trust Yuki to be alone with herself," I said, rather too quickly. Shifting in my seat, I plucked a crimson strawberry from the top of the cake and munched on it. "However, if you feel the need to do so, you may go check on her." Of course, by you I clearly meant we.
He shrugged, spinning away from me to face the open area of the room. "Where did everyone go?" he asked, glancing around.
"Watari is out getting more cake, Aiber, Matsuda and Mr. Yagami are all temporarily at their homes, and-" I stopped mid-sentence, almost allowing Yuki's name to slip out. That was everybody. And only now have I realized how much we downgraded.
Nonetheless, when I began this case it was only with the assistance of Watari. Ultimately I did not need anyone else… but I did find- hmm, what's the word… satisfaction with Yuki around. Yes, it satisfied me to have her by my side. More than 90%, in fact.
My entire childhood was filled to the brim with loneliness, work, and sweets. I simply did not have time to interact with other children around the orphanage that inhabited. Watari, the owner of the establishment, had been the only other human being I needed to feel content. Ever since then I believed my childhood was as normal as I desired it to be.
Until now. These days I find myself more familiar with the concept of loneliness and its significant role in my life. Somehow, despite my minimal efforts of my daily life remaining the same, someone had efficiently snuck her way into my soul, wrapping it around her warm fingers and drawing it closer to hers. This girl became familiar, comforting even, to me, and the hours I do not spend with her seem empty and desolate.
During my night owl schedule, while Light was in a deep sleep, I began a quest through the internet in search of the meaning to my newly acquired feelings. Yes, it was a long and eye-opening night, but I eventually came to a conclusion.
I had affection for Yuki. "Is this what they call love?" I had asked myself numerous times, but conducting even more research on the subject, I understand that I have not achieved the full emotion of love just yet. Strong affection is the way I comprehend it.
Then again, how would I know anything about the concept of love? Unless you count desserts and sweets, of course. "Light-kun?"
The brunet turned his attention to me. "Yes, Ryuzaki?"
"Are you in love with MisaMisa?"
"You of all people should know the answer to that. It's one-sided."
I tilted my head curiously. "Have you ever been in love before?"
He hesitated, thinking meticulously about it. "No, Ryuzaki, I don't think I have. Unless you count my family."
His answer did not satisfy my overwhelming curiosity so I decided to continue trying. "Do you at least know what it feels like to be in love?"
Light's eyebrow rose slightly at my question, his eyes scanning me, most likely assuming this may be a test to see if he is Kira since it is clear that Kira does not love. "Um, I guess… When you're in love, you deeply care about someone and are generally very happy when you're around them."
"What about between people who are not related by blood?" I questioned, still not quite content with the response. I do care deeply about Yuki… I also am unusually more happy when she is around.
He gave a short, amused laugh upon seeing my serious expression. "Well, when you love a guy or a girl, you want to be with them a lot more than anyone else, you want to make them feel special and happy. You're attracted to them and enjoy being with them. Romantically speaking,you usually… well, you know…" He trailed off, leaving me to infer for myself, though I did not understand what his point was.
"No I do not know."
"Seriously?"
"Please explain, Light-kun."
A light pink blush tinted his cheeks as he folded his arms with discomfort. "Two people who are in love usually… well, they kiss and make out and… stuff like that…"
I blinked. Oh. "Does every couple partake in 'stuff like that' very often?"
Bright red exploded on his cheeks, the mortification of the topic causing him to shift in his seat. "N-Not all the time. In some cases, people usually wait until after they're married to do stuff like that."
An unnoticeable breath of relief left me, allowing me to relax in my chair. In any case, it would be best to wait to do "stuff like that" until I am more than comfortable with a person I was in a relationship with. My head hurt. I needed more cake. "Thank you Light-kun, your information was most helpful." Retrieving my fork, I sliced another piece of the delicious cake and savored it pleasurably.
Light paused, his throat clearing awkwardly. "Ryuzaki, do you… love me?"
Immediately I choked on the cake that had been sliding down my throat. Luckily it had only taken a couple seconds to continue swallowing it before it suffocated me. I turned to the brunet in shock, though I did not physically show it. "No Light-kun, I do not. Sorry to disappoint you."
I lost count of how many times his face changed colors. "Ryuzaki! That's not-"
From the pinnacle of the staircase, laughter erupted. Light and I simultaneously turned our heads to observe Akari who was hunched over in a fit of uncontrollable laughter. After a few minutes she regained herself enough to steadily walk down the steps and approach us, ghostly remains of amusement still lingering on her face.
"That," she began, suppressing more laughter, "was the absolute highlight of my week." Teasingly she began to applaud. "I swear it sounded like the beginning of a yaoi fanfic!"
Light relaxed himself at her presence, putting on a smile either for show or sincerity. I was still unsure which. "How much of that did you hear?"
"Well, I was about to come down when I heard you saying your love for Misa was only one-sided." She winked at him playfully. "Don't worry, I won't tell her."
The brunet rolled his milk chocolate eyes (now I want chocolate) and smirked at her seemingly cheerful attitude. I took another bite of cake and examined her. "Akari. You seem in better spirits."
Her eyes flickered, slightly dimming at the thought, but her expression remained casual and content. "Yes, it would seem so Ryuzaki. I guess I just needed to let it all out, you know? Accept it and try to move on…" The way she had sounded made me suspect she still wanted to grief immensely, but was attempting her best not to.
"Have you heard from Yuki?" I asked, praying my voice did not seem too hopeful. I assumed the fact that I have a deep affection for the silver haired girl was unknown to them.
The redhead frowned as she sat down in one of the rolling chairs beside Light. "No, not since that night… Has she not come out either?"
Concern arose in me at this fact. Yuki would have surely went to her best friend by now or at least made a brief appearance. Three days of silence did not seem ordinary for her.
Standing up briskly, I pulled a key from my pocket and unlocked the cuff around my wrist only to connect it to Akari's. Her wide purple orbs stared at me with confusion as I did so. "Akari, please continue to survey Light-kun for me. I will return momentarily."
Without another word to either of them, I shuffled across the room and began my ascent up the flight of stairs. Arriving on the first floor, I quickened my pace as I hurried to Yuki's room at the end of the hall.
Standing directly outside the door to her room, I waited.
Silence.
Forgetting my manners for a brief second, I told hold of the door handle and pressed down, opening the door and slipping inside, carefully closing it behind me. The main lounge was empty and the atmosphere was left vacant of the lively spirit, almost like she had never been there.
The far-fetched thoughts of my mind were beginning to get to me when a faint sound could be heard somewhere a couple rooms away: a shower. Worries vanished, I stealthily made my way across the main living room and down the hall toward the increasing noise.
Peering into a room with the door slightly ajar, I took note of the master bed and concluded it was Yuki's bedroom. Slipping into the crack in the door, I inspected the room she had been hiding out in for the past three days.
The grey comforter on the master bed was ruffled, a pair of blue rabbit slippers laid on the floor. On the nightstand was this morning's newspaper that I had helpfully dropped in front of the door outside her room in case she desired to look over it- my instincts were correct. Also, a significant amount of tissue boxes piled the top of the stand, and below it the small trash can was filled to the brim of used ones.
Curtains wide open, window pushed up slightly, a cool breeze was drifting through the air and circulating the room with fresh oxygen that created a lighter aura. It was quite nice, actually, peaceful and soothing.
The television directly across from the master bed was turned on, a cord connecting it to Yuki's computer to allow her to watch Netflix - she currently had on Criminals Minds, an American show I viewed as rather interesting.
I must have been engulfed in my observations because I did not notice the shower turn off until Yuki's figure flashed in the corner of my eye. Shifting my gaze to the bathroom door that was opened just enough for a decent view, I watched in silence as a (clothed) Yuki approached the mirror. Her damp hair was strung up in a ponytail, and I noticed that the ends of her hair had been neatly trimmed since the last time I saw her. She wore a loose white short sleeve shirt and grey sweatpants. Squinting, I detected a faint shade of black under her red eyes - it was evident that she had not received any sleep lately.
The silver haired femme fatale (should I dare describe her as such a woman) seemed to be contemplating her image in the foggy mirror. The longer she stood, motionlessly regarding herself, the more impatient I became.
"How long do you plan on staring at yourself?" I finally spoke, my voice breaking through the barrier of silence. The suddenness of someone else made Yuki jolt, snapping her head in my direction and glaring when she realized it was me.
"L?! What the heck are you doing in my room? I could have been naked and singing at the top of my lungs!" Exasperated, she blushed at the thought of me viewing something as private as that.
"Hmm, that would be very amusing to watch." My deadpan voice only made her stare burn a deeper hole in my frontal.
Stepping out of the bathroom, she approached me with a roll of her eyes. Up close I was able to see how much her physical appearance has been affected by the recent loss in her life. Though her eyes were still stained with puffiness, overall she seemed to be healing rather efficiently. I was content with this fact.
"Seriously L," she sighed, shaking her head. "What are you doing in my room?"
"I simply came to check up on you," I informed her, my eyes scanning her for awhile longer. "You and Akari seem to be recovering well. I am pleased."
Amused, she tilted her head like a young pup. "I guess I'm doing better… " Shifting, she folder her arms and changed the subject. "Is there anything-"
"-new in the Kira case? I am afraid not." Of course I knew what she was thinking. Yuki was proficient about staying on work related topics. "Wedy is currently preparing to set up security cameras at Yotsuba."
She nodded her head briefly. "Good." Glancing at the bed and television, she sighed. "Wanna relax with me for a while? We could Netflix and-" Whatever Yuki was about to say, she instantly stopped, a fierce blush spreading across her face like a California wildfire. "Just Netflix," she recovered quickly, head down as she shuffled to the bed. "Just Netflix." Although I was curious as to what she was on the verge of saying, I decided to let it slip.
After she had made the bed, she sat on the right while I joined on the left, sitting in my usual position. Observing me as I did so, a faint smile of tenderness lingered on Yuki's lips. I gave her a wondering look. "Sorry for staring," she laughed, the twinkle in her eyes glowing brighter. "It's just kinda… cute how you sit like that all the time."
Cute? The word seemed foreign to me. "Kawaii?" I wondered aloud, testing out the word in Japanese.
"Kawaii," she repeated.
The air suddenly seemed to cease movement, the curtains quit flapping. In fact, the entire atmosphere seemed frozen. It was almost like time itself had stopped as Yuki and I stared into each other's eyes. What is she thinking?
"L…" Her voice was meek at first, almost too quiet to hear. Lifting her head, she turned to me, resting her hands in her lap. "I'm scared." My heart thumped, silently latching onto her every word. "Scared of dying, scared of living, scared of losing my friends, scared of… scared of losing you." Dropping her head now, she squeezed her eyelids shut. "Promise me something, okay? Promise me that you won't leave me alone. I don't… I don't think I could make it without… without you."
I assumed that this was extremely hard for her to admit… and extremely eye-opening for me to absorb. Was she confessing her feelings to me? Did she also have a strong affection for me as I did for her? Or was she only desperate for someone-anyone-to latch onto?
The logically explanation was simple. Yes, there was only one way to find out.
Leaning forward, my fingers tickled the bottom of her chin, gently lifting her head to face me. Her eyes grew wide, but I had no time to explain my actions. Using my gained wisdom of 24 years, I pulled her in for what is called a kiss. Our lips met, and something surged through my veins. A flood of emotions crashed against me like a wave, soaking into my body. Surprise. Affection. Enjoyment. Delight. Curiosity. Satisfaction. Hunger. Discovery. Love. Wait- yes, the last one had to be correct. Was this what I was feeling? Is this the emotional attachment to someone that everyone was foretold to experience at least once in their existence? If so, I was immensely curious to find out more.
Our first kiss seemed to be a subtle approach, gentle to the touch. When she pulled away, my hand slithered up to the back of her neck to keep this sensation longer. The feeling I got when we kissed - I desired for it, I desperately wanted to keep the gratifying passion for as long as I could.
As long as I could lasted until we both pulled away for oxygen. I never broke eye contact with her because I was afraid to lose the connection. Even as the blush on her face deepened, I kept my eyes locked with hers. "That was immensely satisfying," I stated truthfully.
"You couldn't possibly be any more blunt, could you?" Yuki laughed, beginning to feel comfortable.
"I would like to do it again," I added with a serious expression, only resulting in Yuki laughing more.
"I take that back, I guess you can." Smiling fondly, she leaned in again to provide another passionate kiss to me, which I gladly accepted and returned. "Not bad for an introvert," she concluded when we pulled away again.
"Speak for yourself," I remarked, poking her cheek.
Rolling her eyes, I took note that her gaze wandered to the space above my head. "L, I haven't been completely honest with you. And if we're going to… you know, be closer, then I need to come clean."
This was definitely news to me. "I am listening."
Taking a deep breath, Yuki pursed her lips. "Not only can my red eyes reveal a person's real name above their head, but… they can also show a lifespan. So technically… I know when everyone is going to die." And she associates me as the blunt one? "Well, almost everyone."
"Whose lifespan can you not see?" I asked. If she couldn't see a person's lifespan, I presumed that it wasn't for a positive reason.
Biting her lip, Yuki lowered her eyes back to mine. "Well, I think it has something to do with Kira… I couldn't see Light or Misa's lifespans at all. I take that back- there was a time when I could see Light's lifespan in high school, but ever since Kira appeared, I couldn't."
My eyebrows furrowed in deep thought. This new information has me certain that Light is- or was at one point- Kira, and Misa Amane is- or was- the second Kira. All of the signs, observations, and clues are there. The only thing lacking is solid evidence. Personal instincts will not get someone very far in this kind of investigation.
Suddenly shaking her head, Yuki scooted closer to me. "Let's not talk about the Kira case for once, please? How about we… we relax and watch Netflix for a bit, okay?"
I could not argue as she stared at me with hopeful, kawaii eyes. "Very well," was my answer. Yuki grinned and turned the volume on the television up slightly. Hesitating at first, she leaned against me for comfort. Smirking to myself, I wrapped my right arm around her warm body as both of us sat against the backboard of the bed. I could not lie: it felt pleasurable to be this close to another human. Especially someone as unique and special as Yuki. Maybe this was the first sprout of affection… love… that I had ever truly known in my entire life.
I hereby promise not to leave you alone Yuki Miyoshi I internally vowed. As long as you never leave me.
Wow another long chapter BUT totally needed. Hope ya liked it everyone! Probably another two weeks before another update, but don't lose hope! Hehe, this story is coming along pretty good! As long as I don't get sidetracked watching Psych or American Horror Story then I think we'll be wrapping up sooner or later.
SIDE NOTE: If anyone is looking for new anime to watch, I just finished watching Durarara (and x2) and Your Lie In April (cried so much, more than I've ever cried before, not joking). Also, I just finished watching the first season of K-Project, which is really good!
Thanks :D