Spiraling out of control chapter 2
Ahsoka woke up on the floor, she sat up and rubbed the back of her neck looking around. The sound of a metallic object hitting the ground drew her eyes down to the floor. Her eyes fell upon the lightsaber of her master, then she remembered the horrible news that Obi-wan had shared with her.
Great sorrow filled the young togrutan "He's gone…" she muttered as she looked down at the hilt of the saber. Tears began to fall down her face again as she thought of how Anakin Skywalker, her master would never again come walking through that door. Never would they be able to poke fun at each other and never be able to get on each others nerves again.
Every day it became harder to drag herself from her bed, everyday became more of a challenge to get through. She was alone, shattered and broken. "Why..di-did you have to go" she chocked out in between sobs. She begged, prayed that her master would come rushing in through the door and take her pain and sorrow away but she knew that he couldn't. He was gone.
Ahsoka drug herself to her feet and held her masters lightsaber close to her, she made her way to Anakin's room that was just across from hers. The metal door slid open and Ahsoka walked into it, four months ago or that was at least the last time she saw her master; he would have yelled at her to get out of his room not in a angry way but in a annoyed kind of way.
The door slid shut behind her and she looked around, the presence of her master was still inside of his room and Ahsoka found herself coming in here more and more often. Ahsoka looked over at the all the parts from machines that were scattered around his room, Anakin was always tinkering with something when he wasn't off on missions.
She sat down on his bed in silence drawling her knees into her chest and clinging to the saber. It was just so hard to believe he was gone, it broke her heart that he was never coming back. Ahsoka sighed sadly and looked around, his room was rather messy but she had no intention of cleaning it up. She didn't want to clean up the mess her master had created because that would degrade a part of him that she held dear.
Ahsoka laid down in the bed and allowed herself to be comforted be the force presence of her master, though faint and old but still there. Once again she drifted off into a dreamless sleep as she had done the nights before. Before drifting off into complete darkness of sleep, she pulled her masters cloak over her body then finally she let sleep take her.
"She hasn't come from her room yet?" Shaak ti asked concerned looking at Obi-wan. "No, its been a week and not once has she left the room" Obi-wan replied and sighed. "Has she at least eaten?" Shaak asked.
"No she hasn't left her room in a week" Obi-wan replied. "It's not good on her to keep herself isolated from everyone" Shaak said. "She just needs time Master Shaak" Obi-wan replied not wanting to bother the young padawan. "That may be so but she at least needs to eat" Shaak replied walking to the mess hall and getting a tray of food to take to Ahsoka.
Shaak ti walked down the hallway in no rush to get to Ahsoka's room as this would allow her time to think of how to comfort the young girl. Yes it was sad that Ahsoka had lost her master, it had been a surprise to the entire Jedi order, but to hold on to the sadness and dwell on it, the pain of losing someone you were close to could lead to the path of the darkside.
Shaak pushed the thoughts from her head as she neared the door to Anakin and Ahsoka's room, she would need a clear head if she was to try and comfort the girl. Shaak gently knocked on the door, moments passed and no answer so she knocked again a little harder. Still inside the room was quiet but Shaak knew that Ahsoka was in there, she waved her hand and the door opened.
Instantly Shaak felt a massive wave of sorrow and pain flood over her threatening to engulf her. The door slid closed behind the Jedi master and Shaak took a moment to observe the common area, she walked to the door on the right where Ahsoka's room was at and opened the door. The padawan was not there and Shaak could tell that Ahsoka hadn't been in her room in a while.
Shaak looked at the cluttered room with clothes scattered all around and a couple of the drawers were pulled out from the shelves. The Jedi master turned and left Ahsoka's room and walked over to another door that would be the entrance to Anakin's room. She reached out with the force a felt for Ahsoka, she felt her presence just beyond the door.
"Ahsoka" Shaak said softly and knocked on the door, complete silence came from the other side of the door. "Ahsoka its Shaak ti I brought you something to eat…is it alright if I come in?" she asked. The Jedi master was met with silence so she opened the door slowly. There she found Ahsoka lying on Anakin's bed asleep, she sat the tray down on the ground and knelt down beside the girl.
Shaak placed a gentle hand on Ahsoka's shoulder and shook her lightly "Ahsoka" she said softly. The young padawan's eyes slowly opened up, they had become a dull lifeless blue, her cheeks were stained with dried tears and her very aura seemed to have become dull.
Ahsoka looked at the Jedi master "Just go away" she said in a horse voice clearly sore from all the crying. "Ahsoka you need to eat you haven't been outside of your quarters for a week" Shaak insisted. "I'm not hungry" Ahsoka replied rolling over so her back faced Shaak.
"Ahsoka look I know you are having a hard time with this but…" Shaak trailed off as Ahsoka sat up and glared at her. "How would you know! How would any of you know what I'm feeling! My master is gone! I'm alone!" Ahsoka snapped angrily. Shaak flinched at the harsh words from Ahsoka, she may have been sad even hurt but she didn't imagine Ahsoka being angry.
Ahsoka broke down and began to cry again "It's not fair, why did it have to be Anakin? Why did it have to be my master?" Ahsoka said. Shaak placed a gentle hand on the girl shoulder "Ahsoka I do not have the answers for that believe me when I say his death was a surprise to all of us. Maybe it was the will of the force and it was his time to go, maybe it was just a bad accident, which one I can't say but you need to push through this. Move on and continue your Jedi training, only by doing so will you honor your masters memory" Shaak said.
Ahsoka shoved Shaak's hand away, they just didn't get it non of them got it. "You don't understand! He was more than my master! He was my friend!" she said through uncontrollable sobs. "He was like a older brother to me and I was the younger sister to him but you wouldn't understand that non of you would!" Ahsoka said angrily. She wasn't mad at Shaak per say, she was made that her master had been taken from her, mad that they didn't understand what he meant to her and all because of the stupid Jedi code.
Ahsoka and Anakin had a master and apprentice bond sure but they also had a natural bond, one that took time to build and each person opening up to the other. They were friends, great friends and they both trusted each other.
Shaak reached out again trying to comfort the girl but stopped when Ahsoka spoke "Get out" she muttered. "Ahsoka I'm just trying-" Shaak started, "I said get out!" Ahsoka screamed loudly. Shaak sighed and stood up, she walked toward the door and paused at the entrance "I'm sorry Ahsoka" she said then left without another word.