Allen's Mission: Survival Priority

A pissed Tyki is not a good Tyki, Jasdevi decided as Tyki really let loose in his rage.

'Ara ara ara...I gave you a few minutes of heaven and you're not happy with it?' Allen sounded pouty as he turned his wings into prehensile ribbons that killed all Tyki's butterflies while he stood there calmly and rather, complaining that Tyki didn't appreciate 'his love'. 'I'm pretty sure no women is as skilled as me in pleasuring men...' this got the Exorcist choking yet again, while dealing with Skinn.

'SHADDAP!' Tyki cried, red-faced and furious. 'You had a lot of people see it and get blackmail material on me! Who wouldn't be angry?!' he cried when as he ran out of butterflies, he himself attacked and the two fought, clearly at full level.

'I was the impression they'd love the fanservice of action between two gorgeous guys.'

Up at the tower...

'Ooh I certainly do!' Road giggled, still nosebleeding.

'Uhm...Earl...let's scoot away from her shall we?' Devit asked the Earl as the three of them gladly scooted away from Road nervously who just found a new hobby.

'That whitey is really strong...' Lavi gasped out while they ganged up on Skinn, and Chaoji and Tiedoll looking after Lenalee who is still paralyzed waist-down 'He can fight toe to toe with Tyki! Just where'd he come from?' he wondered while fighting with his hammer.

'No idea but we've got other problems!'

On the other hand, Allen is smiling serenely and fondly, while looking at Tyki like a lover eyeing his lover in an endearing way.

'You're so adorable...you make my blood boil in passionate love...nobody my age could make my blood boil, maybe I just like adult men that way?'

'Drop dead, dumbass!' Tyki roared, red-faced in indignant anger, still embarrassed and freaking out.

Allen just tut-tutted.

'Really now, you're an immortal, you should not miss the finer things in life.' he drawled as he decided to whoop Tyki's ass...all the while groping him when he could, further angering the man, whether it's his left or right butt cheek or between the legs...and even kissing and licking the back of his neck, his cheeks and still managing to steal a hot kiss. He's. That. Skilled.

'Aren't you glad that's not you, Yu-chan?' Lavi asked Kanda, pointing at the rather unusual scene before them after defeating Skinn. Kanda shuddered at the interplay of violence and sexual harassment.

'Shut up baka usagi!' Kanda hissed, not really wanting that attention on him. Lavi snickered. He was glad Whitey didn't get a chance to look at his face...or he'd be harassed too.

However, the Earl caused explosions, forcing them to back off, and the Noah are gone.

xxx

Under a bridge at the edge of Edo, near a river with a small waterfall at that...

'Awww...I was enjoying myself back there...' Allen pouted. 'Now my boy toy's gone.' he said sulkily as Ronald was hiding there, and preparing food out. The others sweatdropped.

'Just shut up and eat Whitey. You're better off in full power you know. And next time, don't sing unless absolutely necessary.' said Ronald snarkily as everyone was eating chinese take-outs, considering the Cross Squad hasn't eaten anything since their ship broke down. 'Its a bitch gathering enough food to feed a damn town!'

'Yes yes!'

'Now then, Equipments, fork em' over! Time for repairs because might as well enjoy the calm before the storm.' said Ronald, taking out repair equipment and a forge.

'Oh my, you're assisting us?' Miranda asked Ronald.

'Might as well since we might be after the same thing.' Ronald shrugged. 'We're after a ship that could turn this situation uglier if they get it, or somewhat peaceful if either our group gets it. I can't say any more than that or Management will have our asses but the main point is, we can't let the Noahs have it. So for now we team up to steal it, or destroy it. Either way is fine. So who has damaged goods?'

'Mine looks about to be totaled.' said Lavi, seeing a crack on his hammer.

'Well, you fought a Noah, go figure.' said Ronald as he set up his repair system. It was more magic than technology from what they can see and its also portable.

'You know how to repair Innocence?' Tiedoll asked Ronald, astonished.

'We'd know how as we have Exorcists with us too y'know.' Ronald deadpanned while assessing Lavi's damage before using a combination of magic and actual forging with fire to repair it...and changed its appearance entirely to pureblack with gothic motif in silver, but with the hammers ending in a sleeker design ending in 'stakes' instead of the flat rounded edges it used to have.

'Whoa, it looks kinda painful to be at the wrong end on.' Lavi shuddered as he got his hammer back. It looks like an actual war hammer with gothic designs that would have made Edward Elric drooling.

'That's the purpose. Next!' Ronald said with a snort, holding out his hand.

'Yu, hand your sword over too.' Tiedoll instructed as Kanda 'tch'-ed before handing his sword over. Ronald just twitched at the designs.

'Seriously folks, what's with this primitive designs of yours?! Virtually NO imagination and practicality whatsoever! And no hand guard on this sword? I'm surprised asian boy didn't get any cutting accidents!' Ronald complained. It was remade into a katana. 'Next!'

'That's one hour each per weapon huh?' Allen mused thoughtfully while still gorging himself.

'I can't take my shoes off...' Lenalee gasped out while trying to pry her shoes off her feet. 'It wasn't like this earlier!' Ronald stood up to make his way to her and tried pulling it out physically...and resorted to magic instead, but the pair of shoes turned into a purple cube! 'Ehhhh?!'

'Hu-humm...' Ronald used handy tools combined with magic to study it. 'Oh-hoh...I see I see. A new discovery~!' he said jovially.

'What is it, blondie?' Lavi asked Ronald who gave the cube back to Lenalee.

'Well, asian girl's Innocence is undergoing changes. It's nature is transforming from Equipment-Type to a type of Parasitic-Type for some weird reason.' Ronald told them. 'But its nothing like typical Parasitics like Whitey. Its a different type of Parasitic.'

'WHAT?!' the Black Order members yelped, wide-eyed. Lenalee began to stammer incoherently as she looked at her purple innocence before pocketing it.

'Well, now that the shoes are off her feet, her paralyzed legs will be back to normal in a few minutes or hours.' Ronald continued, taking out a pair of zori slippers from the carriage for Lenalee to use. 'That's that. Now keep eating before the Noahs come back.'

'I second that...in war and on missions during the field, its hard to have a time to eat.' Tiedoll agreed. Once the others are full and began resting, only Allen is the one who's still eating. They were enjoying their rest and could finally relax when a black star appeared and out came a pumpkin.

'Hehehe-rerooo...' it cackled as it took Lenalee who vanished into the black star.

'Kyaa!'

'Lenalee!' Lavi yelped as Chaoji and Allen grabbed Lenalee but got pulled too. So Kanda grabbed his legs but got pulled in, and Lavi followed with Crowley.

'Oh fuuuuck.' Ronald face-palmed. 'Fuck me sideways. How am I gonna explain this to management?!' he wailed frantically.

'We need to explain to ours too you know.' Bookman grumbled, worried for the others.

xxx

Cue human pile...with Lenalee on top.

'I find it highly strange that you're taken first yet you land last.' Allen gasped out at the weight on top of him. On top of him was Lavi, beside him on both sides were Crowley and Kanda, and under Lavi was Chaoji. Lenalee got off by crawling away with her arms so the others could get off too.

'I'm sorry!'

'But where are we?' Lavi wondered aloud as they're on a town.

'Well, in some other dimension obviously because last I checked, the sky does NOT look like this and its nighttime in Japan, darling.' Allen drawled with a purr. 'You're pretty cute too!' Lavi went stone white with cracks in horror. 'But still...we have a problem because it seems we are taken to a dimension that's about to be destroyed soon by the looks of things.' he said as he noted their surroundings.

'Seriously?!' and they can now see how.

'Sooo who's going to carry Lenalee until she can finally walk?' Allen pointed out. 'I won't because I don't even like touching girls. I prefer gorgeous men.' Lavi and Kanda scooted away while Krory had no idea what to do. Lenalee sweatdropped. They have a rather interesting person onboard...

'Erm, I will, Master Exorcist.' Chaoji offered weakly. Besides, he's been doing that since they got to Edo!

'Anyway, we should find our way around through these doors at least.' Allen suggested. 'One of these houses may be a way out, or a trap. And given how this is a Noah's place, innocence might possibly affect it...won't hurt to try I think.' he said, one of his ribbons forming and morphing into a key, and they tried out houses.

They found one.

'You found one-rero?!' Lero, the umbrella gasped out.

'Of course. I'm trained in some bits of sorcery so its easy to locate traps and good places. Been thrown into situations like this by my sadist trainer since I was ten.' Allen scoffed as the Order members shuddered. 'Sooo little umbrella...' and he turned with his malice full-on. 'Kindly tell us how long this place will hold up or no Noah Technology, not even the Earl can fix you back when I'm through with you.'

Lero began freaking out before he froze and began acting weird and speaking in a different voice.

'After long years the boat has completed its role and came to a stop~well done Lero~'

'That voice...who's that?' Allen asked Lavi.

'It's the Millennium Earl...our enemy.' Lavi said nervously as a balloon came out of Lero in the shape of the Earl.

'Time to depart, dear Exorcists~time to depart with this boat to hell!~' he boomed in dark jovial outburst.

Cue buildings crashing on them and quite the earthquake.

'Whoa?!'

'Watch out~it's starting to break apart from the parts that completed the download~' the Earl warned sadistically.

'What?!' Lavi gasped out.

'What the fuck do you mean by that?!' Kanda demanded angrily.

'This boat will be momentarily absorbed in dimensions and disappear~' the Earl laughed. 'If I must say at your level of science...three more hours. That's the time you have left in this world~!' he exclaimed in booming laughter. 'Cute little girl you should feel blessed with wonderful friends~ Look how many has come for you~ You will die here with them so it's not so lonely!'

'Earl...!' Lenalee growled out in rage as the Earl's balloon floated away.

'Ohhh not to worry, I won't let anyone feel sad~ I will stop the tears of those left without you~'

'In other words, he sent killers to those left outside, huh?' Allen frowned. 'While I have no worries about blondie, I don't know about your compatriots.' he said, glancing at his current companions.

'With General Tiedoll there it'll be OK.' said Lavi. 'Marie and the ol' panda are no slouch either. For now we gotta find our way out.'

'Time to try out the stuff my Master gave me. I'm no sorcerer but he did teach me how to lock and unlock.' Allen grinned. 'Let's bang a few doors open till we hit jackpot!'

'I hate to admit this but this pervert is our ticket to survival.' Lavi whispered to Krory, Lenalee and Chaoji who nodded weakly.

xxx

'Y'know, it seems they can get by even without a helping hand.' Road mused, intrigued from their place in the tower.

'Just let em die.' Tyki grumbled. 'Preferably him included!' he shuddered while pointing at Allen.

'But Tyki he's quite good as boyfriend material...yours, that is.' Road smiled a tad too naughtily. Tyki just grunted.

'Lemme alone!'

'Poor Lero though...that white one scared him real good.' Road noted while narrowing her eyes a little. 'He's the most competent and he's not even an Order member!'

xxx

Nobody liked the idea that they're on borrowed time.

2 hours and 30 minutes left.

First stage...a desert night place with some rocks, and a tall building.

Skinn was there.

'This one's been shadowing my group ever since.' Kanda growled, taking out his new sword. It looked better to be honest. But a rather gothic-looking katana though...but repairs and modifications take DAYS not an hour, making them wonder who the hell are these people. 'He's mine.'

'Humm, butt-ugly seems mentally-retarded with a one-track mind and a berserker. Easy to deal with, so we'll wait for you here.' said Allen.

'Easy to deal with...?' Lenalee croaked out.

'You kill him, duh.'

'OK, I know he's a Noah who used to be human, how can you say kill so easily?' Lenalee squeaked, nervous of him.

'Well, I'm an assassin and part-time Exorcist Field Agent for my side, li'l lady. I kill who my client wants dead and I get paid for it so I'm used to stuff like this.' this was something new to the Order members.

'And how old are you?!'

'15.'

'15?!'

'You're in no place to be a hypocrite when you guys are soldiers.' Allen drawled blandly and sardonically. 'You guys kill too.' the others flinched. 'Akuma are still living things but should die out of necessity to protect the people and then you kill Noahs, the seeming generals of these freak shows under that fat-ass butt-ugly fanged moron. And all that at a young age, too. So before you criticize, look at yourself first.' Lenalee flinched horribly as if she was struck.

'That's kind of harsh.' Krory scolded.

'Reality hits hard Count Dracula.'

'I'm not a vampire!' Krory retorted defensively.

'Really? Everything about your looks say so...I wonder if the legends are true. Virgin women bitten become Draculinas...' Allen mused in a thinking pose.

'I'm, not, a vampire!' Krory griped insistently.

'He's an Exorcist with...ironically...vampire motifs.' Lavi explained. 'So in a way, he's a vampire only for akuma.'

'You're not helping, Lavi!' Lenalee, Chaoji and Krory grumbled.

'He's coming!' Kanda barked as Skinn began the initiative...

'Have fun and do the job quick as we have no idea how long we'll be in here!' Allen called out to him as Kanda lunged to battle Skinn. 'Its ideal to win fast with as little injury as possible because there's no food and doctors here! And preserve your stamina too because there's no telling how many are there in here.'

'Alright!' Kanda can't argue with that hard truth...

'According to intel there's 13, Earl included...I hope the entire clan isn't here since there's only six of us here. Four fighters, one incapacitated and one...uh...' he paused, looking at Chaoji.

'Erm, I used to be a sailor...' said Chaoji weakly.

'...' Allen gave him a deadpan look, not that anyone can see it with his mask. 'OK? Four fighters and while we measured that retard and that darling, we don't know how strong the others are.' Allen sighed rather mournfully. 'Irksome.'

'Say whitey...how much do you guys know about Innocence? Your level is different from ours as well as technology.' said Lavi thoughtfully. 'It takes days for us to fix our innocence yet you guys fixed it in an hour.' this was new to Lero.

'Innocence neh? They're sentient little cubes who choose their wielders.' said Allen. 'We are fully-aware of the Order's cruel human experimentations in a bid to create Exorcists,' he said as Lenalee flinched, while the men and Lero were stunned with the revelation. Allen began a tale of half-truths, half-lies and spun tales. 'But it doesn't work that way. Innocence choose their wielders. They can see through our souls and potential. They decide who they like to be with. No arrogant human can decide for them. And the Order is arrogant who killed more humans than the Akuma did in a bid to try to create more Exorcists, trying to excuse away their monster mentality that the end justifies the means. In the end, the Order can't make any. Rather, they find Exorcists outside their laboratory of bloody madness and trying to play god and then draft them in whether willing or not. That was until a man named Komui Lee came and changed the Order. He did a thorough, ruthless airing of the cupboards to make the Order a good welcome place when before, its a place where you're better off dead than staying there for one more day.'

'The innocence are fully aware of the Order's inhumanity.' Allen continued. 'Every poor child who are children, grandchildren, nieces, nephews of the Order Members are sacrificed. The term Fallen One came to be when these children died, becoming white husks. They see it as 'rejection' so the term Fallen One was born, dubbed by the Order. In reality, Innocence just mercy-killed them in a flashy way enough to horrify people in hopes they'll stop. But they didn't.'

'B-but the screams?' Lenalee choked out. 'I was taken to the order and I saw...!' she choked out as six pairs of eyes turned to her.

'The screams were just a ploy. Before the transformation, the children are already killed painlessly.' this was to their surprise. 'The innocence just made the lifeless bodies scream just to instill terror in the arrogantly hopeful scientists while changing the bodies. It was the innocence's way of sparing the children from the monsters called their families who force children to fight for them when it should be adults who should protect the children.'

'But what about Suman Dark?' Lavi asked him. 'He became a Fallen One and became a giant torso that rampaged in Shanghai!'

'About him eh? We retrieved his body and innocence for analysis.' in reality, the Shinigami got Suman's death records that Ronald let him see for intel while they DID take the Innocence. 'His way of dying was a surprise to us because he died rather painfully. His life force was used up and eaten inside out!' the others froze in horror. 'Upon using sorcery to connect to the Innocence he has...it showed us an image. All Suman wanted was to go home to his wife and child whom he was forbidden to see or contact ever again. He was an Exorcist who made a deal with the Order that in exchange for his daughter's complete medical treatments for her horrible disease. He was an Exorcist assigned to Winters Sokaro. And then darling showed up.' he sighed.

'His companions are killed in India, near Taj Mahal. Suman begged to be spared and made a deal with darling. Suman hated the Order. He was made a soldier yet not allowed to even visit his family or know how his daughter is. At some point he even wondered if the Order followed through the deal or didn't because he was forbidden contact or visits. He began suspecting. He had those fears everyday that now that they drafted him, his daughter can go hang or something and he wouldn't know.' he revealed to the astonished teens. 'So he definitely had no reason to be chummy with potential backstabbers and feared the worst. His deal with darling is that he would give information in exchange for his life...and locations of the Order Branches, members he knew, the whole package. He felt if the Order is dead, he can go home to his family again. Unfortunately for him, while darling did spare him, his Innocence didn't. He tried to go home but the Innocence took control of his body, denying him of his wish and went to China, to the oceans where he can safely punish Suman without involving bystanders.'

'His Innocence, Break The Wind wasn't too happy. While fully-aware of his wielder's feelings, he betrayed those who saw him as a comrade as it observed how the people treated him. He sold said comrades to Innocence's mortal enemy, Dark Matter and their wielders. The result is that nasty rampage in Shanghai. We took Break The Wind home and its still upset. We figured we should put it in a shrine to mope until its ready to have a wielder again.'

'Oh...' Chaoji croaked out as the others looked deflated.

'That's what happened to your colleague. But you got the Order to blame for that.' Allen snorted. 'In the end, Suman is a father who felt betrayed by the organization. His suspicions were never alleviated. Anger built in him. Despair and Homesickness resulted in his actions and punishment. Break The Wind killed him and denied him of what he wanted.'

'So those massive deaths at the Order...' Lavi choked out, wide-eyed. 'Were all because Suman told Tyki who they are and Tyki went on a spree on them?!'

'Most likely.' Allen nodded. 'Those deaths would not have happened if the Order wasn't a bunch of bastards. The higher ups and people around Komui Lee's rank are not exactly the perfect picture of humanity, wouldn't you agree? He's the only man we can call human in that organization unknown to Exorcists who don't know the dark truth.'

This effectively demoralized the others, with Kanda being oblivious to Allen's tale.

'That's an interesting tale-rero.' said Lero. 'Tyki-tama brought home 158 hearts that day. That explains it.'

Soon, Kanda was done and just in time too. The room began collapsing on them and they ran away to the next door.

Next was a loooong hallway.

But...

The floor began cracking.

'Wha?'

The floor shattered and they all ran like crazy.

'Sonova!' Allen turn his cowl into wings with five large ribbons. Tying five ribbons to the others, they flew fast and being dragged behind Allen.

'Wow! What a ride!' Lavi exclaimed happily.

'Well death by falling to nothingness isn't exactly an ideal way of dying! I'm pretty sure you guys have your own terms in how to die and so do I!'

'Shit!'