I was not able to get back to sleep. There where to many thoughts going through my brain. I also felt like complete and utter shit. I quickly through on a long teas shirt and a pair of sweat pants and ran to the bathroom. I barely made it to the toilet before I vomited. I was so hung-over. My head and stomach where in turmoil. When my stomach finally was completely empty I brushed my teeth. Almost getting sick again by the strong taste of mint.
I made my way out of the bathroom and tried to go back in my room. I had every intention of spending the entire day in bed.
"I made breakfast." My dad called out after me.
I did not even realize he was still here.
"I'm not hungry." I called back as I climbed into bed.
A few seconds later he was standing in my door way.
"Come on. I made bacon and eggs." He said.
I instantly perked up at the word bacon. Some nice greasy bacon sounded really good right now. But I was not shore if I would be able to keep it down.
"What kind of bacon?" I asked him.
Knowing his answer would end my internal debate.
"Beef." He answered me with a smile on his face.
He remembered. I shot up a little too fast and got light headed and tried my hardest to act like nothing was bothering me.
I got up out of bed and fallowed him into the kitchen.
"You know it was not easy to find this stuff." He said as he handed me a plate of bacon and eggs.
I quickly shoved a peace of bacon into my mouth.
"Thank you." I said.
He just sat down across from me and started eating as well. I looked at my eggs knowing there was no way I would keep them down. I was getting sick just looking at them. I needed something to break up all the delusions beef bacon I was eating.
"Is there any toast?" I asked.
"In the bread box." He said as he pointed behind him.
I got up and put two pieces of toast in the toaster as I poured myself a cup of black coffee.
When I sat back down he looked at the cup in my hand.
"Coffee?" He asked me.
"Yeah well someone made me come home at three in the morning so a cup of coffee is necessary." I told him sarcastically.
"What was that about anyway?" I asked him.
I watched him carefully wondering if he would be able to fill me in on whatever it was everyone was hiding from me.
He looked back up at me before answering looking at me in almost the same way.
"Some one was killed at a party your brother was at. I just felt safer with you home." He told me. Making shore not to tell me anything.
"Did you know your brother was going to a party?" He asked me.
I looked back up from my food studding his face. He obvious wanted to find out if I was covering for him. I could not help but internally laugh at this thought. I took a sip of my black coffee.
"No. Him and Kira left the concert when I did. I just assumed he went home." I told him and then put another piece of bacon in my mouth as I continued to keep eye contact with him.
"Well he's grounded. School, practice and home." He told me.
"Okay." I told him.
"So when do I get to meet your friend. Here name was Izzy right?" He asked.
I was not shore I ever wanted him to meet any of them. I knew how he would react. The same way everyone else does when they see people who look like us. They think were trouble. I thought back to last night. Well maybe we are a little trouble.
"Soon." I told him.
"Maybe you can come to a show." I told him hoping he would never do any such thing.
"What type of music do you sing?" He asked.
I was not shore how he would feel about his daughter being in a heavy metal band.
"Rock." I told him telling him the truth.
Heavy metal is a type of rock.
"We'll see." He responded.
"Do you know when your first wrestling match will be?" He asked more interested in that then the band.
Thank god. I thought.
"Not shore, I'll ask coach at practice." I answered him.
Then there was a knock at the door. I looked over to the clock on the stove it was not even 8am. Who was at the door?
My dad got up and walked to the door obviously just as confused as I was. He opened the door but I could not see who was behind it because he was standing in the way.
"Thana it's for you." He called out not bothering to move from the door.
I walked over to meet him at the door. Once I walked around him I saw Izzy standing there.
She was leaning against the door frame. In nothing but a large white tea shirt that hung just below her pantie line. Her black bra and underwear can be seen through her white shirt. She had on black pantie hoes that stopped midway up her thighs and then had straps that hooked up to her black underwear. Her hair was messy and greasy. Obviously not taking a shower sense last night. Her black eye makeup was also still from last night and slightly smudged. She had dark black lipstick on. She was also wearing the same black shoes she had on last night. The only other thing on her was a large jean bag that was slung over her shoulder.
"Izzy." I said not knowing why she was hear and this morning.
"Well you look like crap." Was the first thing she said to me with my dad still standing rite there.
"Yeah because you're the picture of health." I said back to her.
She just looked at me and laughed.
"Your rite. I just got up and had to come over. Sorry if it's early." She said to my dad not to me.
"Why don't you come in?" He said.
I could see him sizing her up as she walked in and he closes the door behind her.
"Nice place." She said as she walked over and sat down on the couch.
"What's up Izzy? Why are you hear?" I asked.
"We never got to finish that song we started to write last night. I just have so many ideas running through my head. I have not been able to sleep. I need to finish this song before I lose everything." She told me and then turned to my dad.
"Is it okay if we finish the song?" She asked him.
As he thought about what she was saying I was wondering what she was talking about. We did not start to write anything last night. I saw her writing a song but I was busy with David and Jared all night. Then there was Peter. I made a mental not to get a hold of Peter latter. We had things to talk about.
"That's fine." He answered her. "I have to head in anyway." He told me.
He turned grabbed his service pistol of the counter and headed for the door.
"Stay inside today." He told me before heading off to work.
"What's going on?" I asked her. "We did not write a song." I told her.
"No but I did. I finished the music and I thought sense your knew to the band you could write the lyrics. All of the songs are ours. You need a song of your own." She told me.
"I have never written a song." I told her.
"I have a feeling you will be a natural." She told me with a smile.
"Listen." She said as she pulled out a lab top form her bag.
She opened it up and played a song. It was defiantly a rock song but as of right now it was played on the piano.
"You did this?" I asked her."
"Yep. That's the basic beat. One we write and record the words we can get the band together record the actual music and then practice." She told me.
"So do you write all of the songs?"
"No but I always am involved. We use my soft wear with every song. Tweaking it as we go along until we get it right."
I looked back the computer and played the music again and again.
I finally was able to hear what it would actually sound like and was starting to make out the different parts of the music.
"So?" She asked.
"I have an idea. Hand me that note book." I said pointing to the end table.
She quickly got up and gave it to me. I put the song on repeat and wrote down my first words.
Fire with Fire.
Fire with Fire.
I mean what else was I going to write about. It was all I could think of. I then found it a little hard to figure out what to do next.
Izzy grabbed the note book from me.
"Just sing. I'll write." She told me.
You had to open up that door.
It's never gonna be the way it was before.
I sang thinking about the dream I had last night. I knew that sense the second I opened my door and walked into that fire my life would never be the same. Knowing that even though I did not want to know I had to figure out what happened that night.
So what do we fight for?
And do we always have to even up that score?
I stopped singing as she wrote down what I sang.
"That's great." She said. "Keep going."
I listened to the song one more time through before I came up with what to say next.
And now it's on, we're fighting fire with fire.
The flames are burning, burning higher and higher.
I shivered as I thought about the flames running up the walls. Surrounding me on all sides.
I took a moment and then continued. Finding this very therapeutic. It was like I was talking through my dream/memory with Izzy without actually talking about it.
It always has to be an eye for an eye.
Justice remains the one and only desire.
Fighting fire with fire.
As I sang the last verse I could not help but realize I was no longer scared I was angry. I need to figure out what happened. I need to remember who started the fire. Who hurt the people in that house? Not for closer but because I wanted to make them pay for hurting the people I cared about. Even if I don't remember who they are.
You do to me like I do to you.
And I do to you like you do to me.
Fighting fire with fire. Fighting fire with fire.
There's a feeling deep inside.
It's way to hard to ever push aside.
I sang thinking about how I felt every day of my life. Well I guess not every day of my life just the ones that I can remember. I always felt so angry, and sad. I always managed to keep it inside. Never quite dealing with it but never letting anyone else know.
It's all that's on your mind.
I wanna give in but I can't this time.
At that moment I knew that this time was different. There was no pushing this down and trying to forget about it. People died, people I can't even remember.
It always had to be an eye for an eye.
Justice remains the one and only desire.
Fighting fire with fire.
Once we were done with this. We rearranged all of the verses I came up with to match the music perfectly. Leaving the chorus open so Jared could write it. I mean he is the lead of the band he needed a part to sing as well.
"This is great. I'll bring it over to the Stella and have her help be with the music, then to Jared. See you tomorrow to practice." She told me as she hurried out of the door.
I looked to the clock after she left. It was almost noon I did not realize how much time had passed.
I quickly cleaned up the food that was still sitting on the counter and then went to take a shower.
I took a real quick shower not bothering to enjoy it. Just wanting to get clean.
I walked to my room and considering I did not plan on going anywhere today I just through on baggy grey sweat pants, and a black sports bra. I quickly brushed out my hair and then put it up in a high messy bun.
I plopped down on the couch planning on catching up on some TV when there was a knock on the door. I quickly got up and ran to the door thinking Izzy had forgotten something.
I opened the door and instantly tried to slam it shut when I saw who was standing behind the door. I was not fast enough because his foot was caught in between the door and the door frame.
I pulled it back so I could slam it down on his foot harder hoping it would make him move his foot. It backfired and as I pulled it open he grabbed the door with his hand and pushed it open against my wait. I staggered back almost tripping over my own feet.
He just stormed into my house slamming the door shut behind him like he owned the place.
"What the fuck do you want?" I yelled at him.
"We need to talk." He told me.
"No we don't you need to get out of my house." He just stood there staring at me. "David get the hell out of my house!" I yelled at him again.
"I'm not leaving until we talk." He told me.
"You will leave now or I will give you another black eye." I said looking directly at the spot I punched him the night before.
I could not help but smile at my work. I head not lost it.
"If you ever think that's going to happen again you're crazier then I thought." He said no longer sounding so mad.
He may no longer be mad but I was. He called my brother and ratted on me. He betrayed my trust and I don't forgive easy. So I was going to prove him wrong yet again. I quickly swung at him. Just as my fist was about to connect with his face he grabbed hold on my wrist. I could feel his hand tighten around me causing me to make a weird hissing noise.
Keeping my wrist in his he spun me around so my back was facing him and I was now chocking myself with my own arm. I coughed not being able to breathe and wanting to kill myself because it was my own arm chocking me.
"I told you not to do that." He snickered into my ear.
I struggled against him, but the more I struggled the less I can breathe.
"I'm going to let you go don't try to attack me again." He told me waiting for me to agree to his terms.
I shook my head yeas and he released me. My hand reached up and grabbed my throat as I coughed as I tried to even out my deep breaths I was taking in. I could feel him behind me unmoved. Just standing there, lingering enjoying my pain.
Once I was able to breath I stood up strait not bothering to move and threw my elbow back trying to make contact with his face. He did not seem to be expecting it but he still managed to block it. He threw up his hands at the last minute protecting his face. Pushing my arm away from him with so much force I spun around so I was looking at him again.
I did not want to wait for him to recover as he looked to be a little unbalanced. I quickly though a front kick at him. Almost making contact with his chest but he jumped back and out of the way.
I was right about him. He is a fighter. I thought he was since that day at school when he talked to me about the difference between fighting and wrestling. Then I was shore about it at the party last night when he easily through his fist through a wall. This was going to be a challenge but I was always up for a challenge. I could not help but smile because I knew I was going to have some fun because he would not hit me. I had no reason to think this but I knew it was true.
He might try to defended himself and wrestle around with me but he would never try to hit me the way I was trying to do to him right now.
"Thana stop it!" He yelled at me.
I responded with throwing a left that he easily dogged then right jab which actually made contact with his stomach. Causing him to gasp a little.
"Are you going to leave yet?" I asked him.
He just looked up at me from his stomach with the look of murder in his eyes. For a brief second I rethought my assumption about him not actually hitting me.
He ran forward and before I could move he grabbed me around the waist picking me and pining me to the ground like he did that first day we wrestled.
He sat down on top of me with all his wait. Holding my hands to my chest so I could not get the chance to do what I did the last time he had me in this position. I thrashed around trying to get out from underneath him. He was completely in control at this moment and I could not handle that. I had to get him off of me and off of me now.
"Look I just wanted to talk. If you wanted to get underneath me you could have just asked." He told me in his normal cocky voice.
I wanted to kick him so hard that he would never have to worry about having children but I was unable to move. So I stopped fighting. He had won. I tried to sit up and surprisingly he let me. Still holding on to my arms so I could not try to punch him. I took in the position we were now in and let my features go soft. Let my body relax as I looked back into his eyes. He looked back at me not shore if he should let me go or not.
I leaned in closer to him so that the only space in between us was my hands resting on each other's chests as he still clung to my wrists. I looked from his eyes then quickly to his lips. I could feel his grip around my wrists loosen just so lightly. I leaned in closer to him so that if he wanted his lips could reach mine but he remained unmoved. So I leaned in but at the last minute changed course and placed a soft kiss on the curve of his neck where his neck and shoulder met.
He let out a small gasp of surprise and let my hands fall free. I pulled back for a second looking at him and smiled then went back to placing soft kisses up his neck. Stopping just underneath his ear. I let my teeth wrap around the bottom of his hear biting it gently. He the same sound from the day before leave his lips as his wait shifted off me ever so slightly.
I saw my chance and took it. I bent my knees placed my hands on his shoulder and with all my wait pushed him off of me. He rolled over and onto his back. I quickly jumped onto of him just as he was to me. Of course I knew that he could easily through me off of him. It did not matter though he was totally defeated. I could see it all over his face.
"You bitch." He said looking up at me before placing his head back down on the floor.
"You just make it to easy." I told him as I stood up and got off of him.
I reached out my hand offering to help him up but he just slapped it away.
I knew he would be upset but I think he is really mad at me now. I did not know if I wanted to start anther fight so I just sat down on my couch.
"It's easy to win when it's not a far fight." He said as he stood up.
"And what is that supposed to mean?" I asked him.
"You know I won't hit you back. Of course you're going to win. Now if you were a guy and you came at me like that it would be a different story. Plus you play dirty." He said as he took the seat next to me.
"It's not dirty to figure out what your opponent's weaknesses are and use it against them. That's just smart." I told him.
I looked over to him and he smiled before dropping his head back to rest on the top of the couch. At this I just noticed how tall he actually was. My neck did not even touch the top of the coach.
"What did you want to talk about?" I asked him.
"Promise you won't get made?" He asked me.
"No." I responded because I never make promises I cannot keep.
He just let out a loud sigh obviously not getting the answered he hoped for.
After a few seconds of silence he finally answered.
"Jared."