I'm so sorry for the amount of time it took to update this. College work stole all my time to write this story. I hope this chapter makes up for the wait!
Happy reading.
How dark it is; how far I am from shore — Gregory Orr
The next morning
"No …" – Emma murmured during her sleep.
Her body started to shake as tears fell from her closed eyes. She wanted to escape from her deepest fears but as much as she tried she couldn't open her eyes. It was like she was stuck in her nightmares.
"Emma" – a familiar voice said, touching her arm – "Emma, wake up!"
Her eyes remained closed and she winced, showing a facial expression of pain as her body continued to shake, making the book she was still holding fall to the ground.
"You have to wake up, Emma" – the voice said again – "Wake up…"
"No!" – she suddenly yelled, opening her eyes, gasping for air.
"Shh …. It's okay …" – Emma heard someone say – "It was just a dream"
She looked at the person kneeling in front of her.
"Regina?" – she said confused, feeling the touch of her friend's hand on her shoulder – "What … What are you doing here?" – she asked, looking around the room – "What am I doing here?" – she added, moving herself to a sitting position.
"You fell asleep last night" – Regina said, sitting next to her.
"I did?" – she said so low that she wasn't even sure if Regina had heard her – "Where's Henry?" – she asked.
"Don't worry, Snow took him with her to school" – Regina said.
Emma looked at the kitchen table and noticed that there were a lot of books and papers scattered all over the table.
"I thought we agreed to meet at your house to continue the research" – she said.
"Yes, I know … but when your mother called me saying that you were still sleeping I thought it would be better if I meet you here instead" – Regina said.
"Did you find anything?" – Emma asked, rising from the couch, making her way to the kitchen.
"Unfortunately not" – Regina said, yawning as she approached Emma.
"How long have you been awake?" – Emma asked, noticing that Regina had bags under her eyes; her hair and makeup were also a little mussed.
"I didn't sleep" – Regina said, reaching for a cup of coffee that Mary Margaret had prepared before heading out to school – "I couldn't" – she added.
Shame seized Emma as soon as she heard Regina's words. Regina had spent the whole night searching for a way to find them while she fell asleep the moment she sat down on the couch.
How could she be so weak to succumb to the sleep? She was the savior. She was supposed to save the people she loved; instead she fell asleep without even finding a way to reach them.
"Stop it" – Regina said, interrupting Emma's thoughts – "You're pregnant, Emma. You need to sleep … besides, we have more chances to find something if we do the research together"
"I'm so sorry, Regina … I shouldn't have slept" – Emma said – "Not before I had found a way to bring them back ho-"
"Emma, you're pregnant now" – Regina interrupted her – "It's absolutely normal if you feel more tired than before" – she added – "You needed to rest, to save your magic"
"What if we find a spell and my magic isn't strong enough?" – Emma asked with a worried look on her face.
"We're in this together, Emma" – Regina said, holding Emma's hand – "We have enough magic to do any kind of spell"
"Have you talked to Gold?" – Emma asked – "Did he find anything?"
"He's been trying to collect as many ingredients he can that might be necessary to perform a locator spell" – Regina explained.
"I read that some ingredients to perform this kind of spells are hard to find" – Emma nervously said.
"I know" – Regina said.
"What if he doesn't has what we need? What if-"
"Emma, you need to calm down" – Regina exclaimed – "We need to find the spell first, remember?" – she said, raising her voice. Emma remained in silence looking at her friend – "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have talked to you like that" – Regina said, running her fingers through her messed hair.
"No, don't apologize" – Emma said – "I'm the one who should apologize" – she started to explain – "I wouldn't know how to deal with all of this without you, Regina. You've been so supportive about everything and all I have been doing lately is complaining. Robin was on that boat too and your wedding is in a few weeks and …" – Emma took a deep breath before speaking – "And I don't know how you do it … how you manage to remain strong and confident"
"I'm not the only one who is strong" – she said with a small smile – "You're too"
"All I have been doing lately is crying and complaining and regretting things I should have said or done" – Emma softly said, pushing a strand of her hair behind her ear.
"That doesn't mean you're not strong Emma, because you are" – Regina said – "Besides, you can always blame the hormones" – she added, trying to make Emma laugh.
"I'm serious" – Emma laughed quietly – "No more crying. I need to start acting like a savior and saviors don't cry".
Rumpelstiltskin was at his pawnshop collecting some antiques and items that could be needed to perform a locator spell. He searched for rare ingredients as well. Despite the fact that he agreed to help Emma, Regina and Snow he couldn't help but think all of this research would be for nothing.
The locator spell that he had cast at the docks should have worked. He was starting to doubt if the spell hadn't worked because of some force that was blocking it or because it was not possible to perform a locator spell to find something who was no longer in this world to be found; who was no longer alive. If it was that the case there was no magic in the world capable of bringing them back (to life) home.
He opened some old books searching for answers. Books about light magic; books about dark magic; books about blood magic … None of them said a word about finding dead people or corpses. All the spells he found only worked in living things.
Spells only serve life, not death – he read – because only life can be changed, altered, improved.
He started to read another book.
Everything is subject to limitations or conditions. Everything is finite.
He flipped through the book, looking at the all the pictures and words in it.
There must always be a balance. Nature is bound by the laws of the alpha and the omega: that which begins must end; that which is born must die; that which is done by magic must have a means to be undone by magic.
He continued to read trying to find something relevant.
Magic is the power to affect change in the world by supernatural means. Magic can often be split into bright and dark, though depending on the situation, can also be neutral.
He tried another spell book hoping to find a new list of spells and rituals.
Linking Spell: a spell that is able to link two people together.
The list had many of different spells.
Pregnancy Identification Spell: a spell used to identify if another is in fact pregnant.
He closed the book and opened another one; he was reading one of the pages when Belle softly touched his shoulder.
"Did you find a spell that can help?" – she asked, caressing his arm.
"I'm not even sure that that spell exists" – Rumpelstiltskin said, leaning his head so he could look at his wife.
"What do you mean?" – Belle said with a worried expression on her face, sitting next to him.
"I know that none of you want to believe it but there is a very big possibility that they –"
"Rumple" – Belle interrupted him – "We don't know that. You don't know that" – she said – "Just look at us, we've lost each other so many times and we're still here, together"
"Belle, our situation is different" – he said, holding her hand gently – "I'm the dark one; I'm made of magic and magic can always be restored …"– he explained –"If we're willing to pay the price" – he added, remembering Neal's sacrifice; a life for a life.
"I know that, but we can't give up without even trying" – she said.
"That's the problem Belle, we've already tried" – he said, closing the book he was reading –"And we failed"
"No, you said that something was blocking the spell" – Belle insisted, refusing to give up so easily – "What if you try to perform it again? Maybe this time it will work"
"I don't know Belle; I'm not sure if the spell failed because of some force that was blocking it or because …" – Rumpelstiltskin didn't finish his sentence – "Why torture them with false hope?" – he asked, referring to the women.
"It's not false hope, Rumple" – Belle said – "It's a belief, faith … We can't take that away from them. We have to believe"
Rumpelstiltskin stared at his wife for a few seconds, remembering the reason why he had fallen in love with her. She was so positive, so kind, so Belle. It was if she had a light inside of her capable of illuminate all of his darkness; all of the bad things in the world. He leaned in and kissed her.
"You're right, as always" – he said smiling as their foreheads touched – "I'll continue to search"
"And I'm going to help you" – Belle said, grabbing the book next to her.
Emma had no idea for how long she and Regina were searching and performing spells. She had lost count of the hours they were at her mother's apartment. Regina's eyes were becoming redder because of the lack of sleep and Emma was feeling more exhausted as the hours passed by, even if she refused to admit it.
She was reading one of the spell books for the second time when the sound of something crashing almost made her jump from her chair. She immediately looked at Regina.
"I can't do this anymore" – she said, looking at the wall in front of her – "This is worse than any curse I could ever cast"
Emma opened her mouth but before she could say anything, the door of the apartment opened.
Mary Margaret was carrying Neal in her arms while Henry and Roland were speaking and laughing at each other, but when they looked at Emma and Regina's faces they immediately stopped talking and focused their attention on the women and the mess around them.
"Hi, moms" – Henry said approaching them – "What happened?" – he asked, pointing at the pieces of glasses lying on the floor.
"It was me" – Emma said after looking at a speechless Regina – "Regina was trying to teach me a new spell but it didn't end well"
"You're still practicing?" – Henry asked – "What about last night?" – he asked again.
"I already told you" – Emma said – "I'm trying to improve my magic"
"Why?" – he insisted.
"Why what?" – Emma asked confused.
"Why are you trying to improve your magic?" – Henry immediately said. Emma tried to speak but he spoke again – "Why now? Why do you need it? Did something happen? Is there a new curse coming?"
Emma approached Henry and caressed his arm, trying to assure him that everything was fine.
"You don't need to worry, kid. Everything is fine" – she said, raising her head and looking at Regina and Mary Margaret – "I'm just trying to –"
"When will daddy come home?" – Roland asked Regina, interrupting Emma.
Silence invaded the room. Regina didn't know what to say. She was not prepared to tell him the truth and she was not ready to lie to him either. She had thought that by now, Emma and she would had found a way to reach Robin and the others but Roland's question came before the answer even exist and know she didn't know what to do or say. She looked at Emma and Mary Margaret trying to find an answer but they were all speechless.
Suddenly someone broke the silence:
"That's it, isn't it?" – Henry said with a trembling voice – "That's why you've been practicing your magic…"
"Henry –" – Emma tried to say.
"What happened?" – he asked – "Are they hurt? Are they lost? Are they –" – Neal crying interrupted him.
Mary Margaret started to sing a lullaby, trying to calm him down but the baby continued to cry. Tears were beginning to appear in Roland's eyes and he turned again his attention to Regina.
"Is daddy hurt? Why did Henry say that?" – Roland started to babble with a trembling voice – "Where is daddy?"
Regina leaned down her body so she could hold Roland's hands and look into his eyes.
"Shhh … honey, please don't cry" – she softly said – "Everything will be fine. Please don't cry"
"You have to tell me the truth" – Henry said – "I deserve to know what happened to them"
As Henry continued to talk Emma looked around the room trying to understand when the chaos had started. Mary Margaret was trying to make Neal fall asleep but his crying didn't seem to have and end. Roland was crying too in Regina's arms as the Queen caressed his air and said gentle words, trying to comfort him. Emma focused again on her son, realizing that he was trying to stay strong and fighting the tears already in his eyes. She reached for his hand but he took a step back.
"I think we should talk about this at home" – she said.
"Why? So you can continue to lie to me with no one else around to hear it?" – Henry accused her.
"Kid …" – Emma tried to say.
"Stop calling me that" – he blurted – "I'm not a kid anymore. I can handle it. Whatever it is, I can handle it" – Henry insisted.
"No, you can't!" – Emma almost yelled. Why was so hard for him to understand? Why couldn't he just do what she says for once? She was her mother. She knew what was best for him –"Look what this conversation did to Roland. We need to go home"
Henry remained in silence looking at his mother. He didn't want to go home without knowing what exactly had happened. Was he destined to lose every single member of his family? He needed proof. He needed to know what her mother was hiding from him.
"What home?" – he said before running to the room where he had spent the night.
Emma stood speechless as Henry ran away from her. His words echoed in her mind. What home? Was their house by the beach still a home or just a house?
Emma took a step forward but Mary Margaret's voice stopped her.
"Just give him some time. I'm sure he will come around" – she said and Emma nodded as she realized that her brother was no longer crying – "Can you hold him for a second? I need to prepare his food" – Mary Margaret asked.
"Sure" – Emma said and somehow holding Neal made her feel more relaxed. She looked at her brother and saw him smiling at her and that genuine smile managed to steal a smile from her – "Thanks" – she said looking into his big green eyes.
She looked around and saw that Roland had fallen asleep on the couch. His head was lying on Regina's lap as she caressed his dark brown hair.
"This is going to be a long night, little brother" – she whispered.
Henry was lying on the bed looking at the ceiling. He didn't know if he was mad or sad. Maybe it was a mix of both. He couldn't understand how they could have kept this information from him. He deserved to know the truth; he needed to know the truth. Did they forget all the times he helped during Operation Cobra? He was so good at finding evidences. Maybe if they told him the truth he could help them doing whatever Emma and Regina were trying to do.
He sat on the bed, trying to figure out a way to make himself useful but his eyes caught the picture that was on the bedside table.
Emma was the one who had taken the picture. They were at Granny's and Regina had brought her new camera with her.
Men only was written behind the photo. David had Neal on his arms, Killian was seated next to the prince, Henry was seated between him and Robin and Roland was seated on the table. He could almost hear Granny yelling and reminding them about the rules of the restaurant.
He put the picture on the bedside table and got up from the bed.
He opened the door of the room without making a sound. He could see Emma and Mary Margaret's back on the kitchen and Regina seated on the couch. There was no way he could get out of the house without being seen. He closed the door and bit his lip trying to figure it out a way to get out of the house when he saw the window above the bed. He climbed to the bed again and opened the window.
I can do it – he thought as he looked outside the window – It's just a small jump, well it's more like a fall… but I can do it – he leaned his body to the open window – Regina or Emma's magic can heal any wound or broken leg or arm … or both – he closed his eyes and jumped.
Regina was carrying Roland in her arms. He was sound asleep and she didn't want to wake him. She needed to think in a good story to tell him about the disappearance of Robin. Mary Margaret put a blanket on his shoulders and opened the front door.
"Meet me at my place after breakfast" – Regina said to Emma – "We have to continue the searching for … something" – she added. Emma nodded – "And make sure Henry is okay and give him an extra goodnight kiss" – she said before leaving the house – "If you need my help with anything call me"
As soon as Regina left the house, Emma let herself fall on the couch. Mary Margaret put Neal in his crib and seated next to her daughter.
"I don't know what to tell him" – Emma confessed, running her fingers through her hair.
"Yes you do" – Mary Margaret softly said. Emma looked at her, trying to figure it out what her mother was trying to say – "You have to tell him to have hope but to do that you have to believe, to have hope too"
"I don't know if I can, I'm not like you" – Emma said – "I know that optimism runs in the family but I think it skipped one generation"
"You'll know what to do" – Mart Margaret said – "You're such a strong woman, Emma, but more important, you're a great mother.
"A great mother?" – Emma said, covering her face with both hands and faking a laugh – "Look how well my attempt of a conversation with Henry went… Did you hear what he said?" – she asked, remembering Henry's words – "He doesn't want to go home. He doesn't even considers our house a home … and the sad part is that I think he's right"
"We both know that's not true" – Mary Margaret said, holding Emma's hands – "Do you think that Killian would want you to say that if he was here?"
Emma's heart skipped a bit when she heard her mother saying Killian's name.
"That's the problem. He isn't here" – she blurted.
"But he will be" – her mother quickly said – "We're going to find a way to find them because that's what this family does, we find each other, no matter what"
Emma remained in silence trying to find the courage to talk to Henry.
"I'm going to talk to him" – she said, getting up from the couch. Mary Margaret smiled at her.
Emma looked at the closed door in front of her and took a deep breath. She knocked on the door and waited for an answer. After a few seconds she decided to speak.
"Henry, it's me … can I come in?" – she gently said – "I have to talk to you about …" – she stopped talking trying to find the right words to say. She rested her head on the door – "I really need to talk to you"
The door remained closed and nobody spoke. Her right hand was hovering over the door knob. Maybe he fell asleep – she thought.
She decided to open the door slowly. She looked at the bed, hoping to see her son sound asleep but all she saw was empty sheets. She noticed the open window and panicked.
This is not happening. This can't be happening. Not again. Not you too. I can't lose you too.
She ran to the window, trying to see any sign of her son but all she could see was the black night and the moon. She became pale, her body started to tremble as she ran out of the room.
She had almost reached the front door when her mother's voice made her stop.
"Emma, what's wrong? Where are you going?" – she asked with concern.
Emma wanted to speak but the words got stuck in her throat. How was she supposed to speak when she could barely breathe? All she could think about was Henry.
"Honey, talk to me … What is it?" – Mary Margaret asked as she approached her – "Did Henry say something that upset you?"
"He's not in the room" – Emma managed to say with a trembling voice –"He, he ran away … I think he jumped out the window … I, I need to find him" – she said opening the door.
"Wait, I'm coming with you … let me just call Belle to –"
"No, it's late" – she interrupted her – "You need to stay with Neal, you need to stay with him…"
"Let me call Regina, then …" – Mary Margaret said, picking the phone.
"No … She needs to sleep and Roland needs her …" – Emma nervously said, taking a step forward – "I have to go, I have to find him" – she said, stepping away from the house.
She was not sure how much time had passed since she left her mother's house and started looking for Henry. Different kind of scenarios started to invade her mind.
Was he okay? Was he hurt? Was he still in town? Was he lost? Would she be able to find him? What if she never sees him again? God, he was just a kid … he shouldn't have to be experiencing all this pain and sadness. He was supposed to be worried about school and videogames not about lost parents or death.
She was driving through the main street for the third time, hoping to see any sign of Henry. There was no one on the street. Granny's was already closed.
She wanted to ask if someone had seen him but there was no one to ask. She felt helpless. Storybrooke was a small town but with so many places where someone could hide.
She felt guilty because somehow she could see herself in Henry's reaction. He had ran away just like she always did when she was his age and even now she had this tendency to run away from her problems and to think that running away was the best way to fix things, to fix herself.
But since Storybrooke became a safe place again and she found her family she started to feel safe again and loved and truly happy. She should have known that her happiness wouldn't last, it never did and it never will, Killian and Henry's disappearance were the proof of that.
Without even realizing she found herself at the docks. She used to love to go there but now, despite all the beautiful memories that she had about that place, all she could think about was the image of the remains of the Leroy's boat.
She detected some movement near the boats and got out of the car. She approached the place where she had seen the shadow with caution because of the lack of light. It was like a déjà vu. It was like she was living the same moment when she found out about the accident all over again but this time alone, without Regina by her side.
Suddenly she saw the person she was looking for – Henry. He was looking at the place where the destroyed boat was. He heard her approaching. Emma ran to him with tears in her eyes and hugged him, making him look at her.
"Oh, thank God" – Emma said, pulling him even closer to her – "What were you thinking? You scared the hell of me!" – she said, feeling the tears on her face.
"I had to know …" – Henry said – "I had to find some proof … that something had happened" – he explained, trying not to cry.
"I thought I had lost you, Henry …" – Emma said.
"I'm sorry mom" – he said, hugging her – "I'm so sorry, I didn't want to –"
"Don't do that again" – she interrupted him – "Never do that again. I can't lose you too" – she added, biting her lower lip.
Henry turned his body to the place he had been looking at since he jumped out the window. They couldn't be dead. They had to be somewhere else, alive. Good always wins, right? She felt Emma's hand on his shoulder.
"We need to find them, mom" – he said without taking his eyes from the water – "It must be a way"
"We've been trying to locate them but none of the locators spells that we used worked" – Emma softly said.
"What does that mean?" – Henry asked worried.
"I don't know, kid" – Emma said.
"You're doing it again …" – Henry said, turning his body so he could face her – "You're keeping information to yourself. You're lying"
"Kid …" – Emma tried to say.
"I'm not a kid anymore!" – he said – "I might like hot cocoa with cinnamon and to hear stories before sleeping and working on Operation Cobra but I already faced villains like Peter Pan and Zelena and Greg and Tamara and flying monkeys and …" – Henry took a deep breath before continuing – "I had to face death. I'm almost fourteen years old, mom. I'm not a kid"
Emma looked at her son realizing that he was right. He was so much more than a kid and that scared her. She didn't want him to deal with this kind of stuff. He might not be a kid anymore but he would always be her son, her kid.
"I'm just trying to protect you" – she admitted –"I don't want you to get hurt. I don't want to hurt you"
"You won't. The lies will" – Henry said.
"I know … that's why I'm asking you to trust me on this" – Emma said, caressing his cheek – "Just give me some time to try to figure it out what is really happening before I give you an answer"
Henry nodded and hugged her again.
"We always find each other, mom … You know that, right?" – he asked, resting his head on her stomach.
"Yeah, I know" – she murmured, kissing the top of his head.
No matter how hard he tried, Killian couldn't sleep. The men were lying down on the sand near the fire. Robin and David had their eyes closed while Killian was looking at the few stars shinning in the sky.
Old memories invaded his mind and he tried to erase them so his thoughts could focus on a different thing: the person who hired the mermaid to kidnap him … or rescue him. As much as he tried he couldn't figure it out who could be that person and he hated that feeling. He didn't like to think about the consequences of having an enemy at this stage of his life.
He was finally building a life and a family and whoever this person was could put in danger the people he loved; use them to get to him. As a matter of fact, that had already happened: Robin and David almost died because of the storm that destroyed the boat and were now stuck in this island.
Killian couldn't stop feeling guilty about all that happened. If he hadn't suggested this trip none of this would happened but on the other hand he could almost feel relieved for Emma and Henry not being in this mess; they were safe.
Are they? How could he be certain of that if he was stuck in this island? What if this person decided to go to Storybrooke and hurt them?
"Can't sleep?" – David's voice interrupted his thoughts.
He sat down and looked at the prince.
"We're going to need more wood for the fire" – David said – "And definitely more coconuts maybe we can find new fruits too. Robin is good at finding things in the woods, and yes, I know that there are no woods in this island, only jungle but still … I think we can manage to find some food. We survived Neverland, right?"
"Do you think they are safe?" – Killian suddenly asked not answering David's question.
"Yes, everything was fine in Storybrooke when we left. Why are you asking this?" – David asked.
"I was just thinking about all that happened" – Killian started to say – "If there's someone out there looking for me I … I don't know, what if this person decides to go to Storybrooke and do something?"
"I don't think we should worry about that right now" – David said.
"How can you be so calm? They could be in dangerous, because of me!" – Killian nervously said.
"I think we should focus on one problem at the time" – David calmly said – "First we need to figure it out a way to get out of this island. Besides, there's no way for us to know what is happening in Storybrooke so we need to believe that they are fine and that we will see them soon"
Killian caught himself thinking how much alike David and Mary Margaret were. He didn't know how they could remain so optimistic after all they've been through.
"And don't forget they have magic" – Robin spoke still with his eyes closed – "Powerful magic"
"I thought you were sleeping" – David said.
"It's impossible to sleep with you two talking and the sound of what seems to be a whale approaching the beach" – he said – "I never thought the sound of the sea could be so disturbing and noisy … I don't know how you and Emma can sleep … your house is literally on the beach … how did you –"
"It's not a whale" – Killian interrupted him, realizing that the sound they were hearing was not the sound of the waves crashing on the sand. He turned his attention to the ocean and nothing prepared him for what he saw.
"Is that …" – David started to say, standing up from the sand.
"Aye" – Killian softly said not believing in his own eyes –"It's the Jolly Roger"
I hope you liked this chapter. Thank you for reading and please share your thoughts with me (: