Spiraling out of control chapter 17
It was midnight by the time Ahsoka had returned to the temple but it didn't bother her at all. The headache that would undoubtedly come in the morning was worth drowning out the council's lack of faith and trust in her with alcohol. She had proved them wrong in the end and no matter what they told her because of their doubt and lack in faith in her she wouldn't trust them as she once had. She staged back to her quarters and inside of the comm. area. Then she turned left and walked into the bedroom slipping her cloak off she curled up in bed with her back to the door. Her glassy eyes closed and she slowly slipped off into a dreamless sleep.
"Ahsoka?" a voice call to her pulling her from her dreamless slumber so hours later and her eyes slowly opened. When the light hit her eyes she immediately slammed them shut and became aware of the pounding in her head "Five more minutes" she slurred out turned over and pushing her face into what she thought was a pillow. It was warm but not soft like a pillow instead it was firm, she reached her hand up and felt what her head was laying on. What was that…a rib? "Ahsoka" the voice said a little firmer and not from behind her like she had thought it had originally come from. The voice it was coming from under her, her eyes opened slowly and she saw a tanned muscular chest of a male human.
Her mind took longer to register what she saw but when she realized what it was her eyes widened and she looked up to see Anakin staring at her. "Master…what are you doing in my room?" she asked confused as she quickly got off of him. "This isn't your room Snips" Anakin replied, Ahsoka looked around again and realized this indeed was not her room but Anakin's.
She must have gone to the wrong room and passed out before she realized it last night. "Master..i…uh I didn't" she stuttered out trying to think of something to say as her lekku darkened in embarrassment. Her mind was still slow from the alcohol that she couldn't come up with a reason to explain why she had fallen asleep in her master's room with her master. She certainly hadn't intended too it was a accident but she had already spent so many nights in his room sleeping there when she thought he was dead that perhaps it was just a habit.
Anakin stood up and threw a tunic on before looking at Ahsoka "Ahsoka what were you-…" he trailed off as a strange aroma hit his nose. He look at Ahsoka more closely and noticed the glassiness of her eyes then as she began to rub her forehead with her hand "Ahsoka have you been drinking?" Anakin asked. Again Ahsoka was at a lose for words she didn't know how to explain her actions more or less how she was hung over. "I'm sorry" was all she managed to say as she tried to numb the headache with the force.
Anakin was no longer in shock that his padawan had slept with him now he was concerned by the fact that she was drinking. "Ahsoka what where you thinking?" Anakin asked. She looked down "I didn't know what do to…when you were gone…i…" she trailed off again. Anakin walked up to her and drew her into a hug wrapping both arms around her back. He could understand then pain she had been in when he was presumed dead but he didn't think she would be driven to alcohol because of it. Then she started to cry as he helds her "I thought you were dead…I should have been there I could have stopped all of this" she said. "I looked everywhere for you even when they thought you were dead" she continued. "Ahsoka its ok everything is ok now" he said soothingly as he gently sat back down on the edge of the bed and pulled his padawan next to him.
She sat down and avoided his gaze "When…I found out I didn't know what to do…I couldn't just let go like the council wanted me to, I couldn't just move on. So I drowned my pain away…I just needed to forget about it for a bit…" she said softly. Anakin placed a gentle hand on Ahsoka's back and he sighed. "My mother was killed by sandpeople and for the longest time I blamed myself…I still do. I know what its like to lose someone, I know the pain then the anger that follows" Anakin said. Ahsoka turned and looked at him the hugged him again tightly "I never knew my parents…but you're the only family I know and I don't want to lose you" she said. Anakin looked down at her as he held onto her, she didn't look mad anymore like she had been the previous day but now she looked scared. "Please…please don't leave me again" she said clinging to him tighter, "I won't Ahsoka I won't leave you" he said softly.