Yesterday was my birthday (I'm twenty now), so I decided to give you a present! I really really really hope you like it!
Happy reading dear readers!
Some of us have hearts, you know. Some of us don't give up on true love — Sophie Kinsella
Emma woke up with the sound of the waves crashing down on the soft sand outside the balcony door and the morning sun touching her face. She didn't remember when she had fallen asleep but it was clear that she had. Being pregnant made her feel more tired and sleepy.
She was still wearing the clothes from the day before. She sat up rubbing her eyes but when she looked around the room she saw the mess that she had made. All her memories were scattered on the floor. She immediately got out the bed and ran till the place where the broken box was. She grabbed it carefully and her eyes became wet. The top of the wooden box was still intact and she could still see the letters E and K engraved on it.
She kissed me … I, I was in shock … I shouldn't have let her do that but … but I didn't have time to react. It didn't mean anything … as soon as I realized what was happening I stopped … I stopped her. Love, please, just …
Killian's words started to invade her mind and she bit her lower lip.
She hadn't let him explain. She didn't want to hear him. She told him to leave.
He didn't want to leave … you know that – a small voice in her head started to say – If he wanted to he would have left the second Milah appeared, but he didn't.
She tightened her grip on the box. She wanted to blame him but now, thinking about all that happened, she realized that she was not exactly angry at him; she was angry at herself.
He had told her that he was going to tell her about Milah. He was going to but … he was scared; scared of her reaction; scared of scaring her.
He was scared… like she was scared.
She was scared and she did what she always does: she pushed people away and then she ran.
No, she wouldn't run. Not this time. She wouldn't run. Not from him.
I don't think I could ever stop loving you, Emma – she heard the words Killian had said before all this mess started.
She needed to fix this. She needed him.
Emma looked at the box on her hands and then to the rest of the broken objects. She couldn't destroy their life like that, especially now that they were creating a new life.
"I can fix this" – she softly said.
She started to think of all the times that Killian made her laugh; all the times that Killian surprised her; all the times that Killian kissed her; all the times that Killian caressed her skin; all the times that Killian woke up by her side; all the times that Killian made her dance; all the times that Killian found her; all the times that Killian made her feel alive and loved and happy …
She opened her eyes, feeling the wooden box on her hands heavier. The box was perfect again.
Emma's eyes were shinning. She opened the box and saw all the things that she had destroyed; that she thought that she had lost intact … and once again her box was full of hope and possibility.
She headed to the bathroom and took a quick shower.
A calming sensation went through her as the warm water hit her body but then a scary thought invaded her mind, making her shiver: What if he really left? What if he is not in town anymore?
No, no, no, no…
She turned off the water and grabbed the first shirt and jeans she found and a pair of her black boots. Her hair was piled messily on top of her head.
She searched for the key of her car and left the house.
Killian waited until Regina and the boys left the house before he got out of his room. He didn't want Henry to know that he had spent the night there. There was no need to worry the boy. Emma and he were going to fix everything and things would return to normal.
After his talk with Regina and Robin, Killian returned to his room trying to get some sleep but he couldn't. Every time he closed his eyes all he could see was Emma's disappointed face. He spent the whole night looking at the ceiling, trying to erase the last words that Emma had said to him.
Regina and Robin were right. He could fix this. He could have his life back. He didn't need to live in fear anymore. He had a family and friends now. He was not alone anymore.
He took off the shirt that Robin had borrowed him and entered in the bathroom. He looked at himself in the mirror and immediately noticed the clean skin of his right arm. He touched the place where the tattoo had been in these last three hundred years and smiled. He felt relieved, like some curse had been broken.
He took a quick shower and then he went to the kitchen. He drank a cup of coffee and ate a piece of pie that Regina had made.
After his quick breakfast he made his way to his and Emma's house before Regina had the time to return home and start complaining about his presence on her house.
He opened the door slowly, preparing himself to face Emma. This time he was going to tell her everything, even if she yelled at him and tell him to leave, he would tell her.
The house was quiet as he made his way to the living room.
Maybe she's still asleep – Killian thought.
He ran to the stairs and found the door of their bedroom half opened. Cautiously he opened the door but he saw no one in the room. His heart started to beat faster than ever. He wanted to see her, he needed to see her. The thought of Emma hating him was killing him. She needed to know the truth and he wanted to tell her but she was not at home.
Why wasn't she at home?
She wasn't a morning person. Usually he was the one who had to drag her out of bed. She was supposed to be asleep. Her golden hair was supposed to be elegantly scattered on his chest, hiding her cheeks from the sun, looking like a fiery halo. One of her hands was supposed to be around the bare expanse of his torso. She was supposed to be in his arms … but she wasn't.
He approached the bed and saw a strange object on it – a wooden box. He had never seen that box before.
He sat on the bed and grabbed the small box. He immediately saw the E and K letters engraved on the top of the wooden box. He touched the letters gently with his fingers. Emma had a box with their initials letters engraved on it.
He remembered the day she had shown him her childhood box but he had no idea that she had another box; a beautiful box about them.
He couldn't take his eyes from the small object on his hand and suddenly a thought invaded his mind – Emma had been with that box on her hands as well otherwise the wooden box would be hidden wherever Emma hid it.
The box was perfectly fine which meant that this box was important to Emma … and whatever was inside of it.
Unconsciously his hand started to open the wooden box but when Killian noticed his action he stopped. It was bad form to invade Emma's privacy like that.
He put the box on the bed and made his way out of the room. He was going to find her.
Regina was in her office when she heard someone knocking on the door.
The pirate, again? – she thought as she headed to the hallway.
She opened the front door ready to protest with the pirate but the person in front of her was not Killian.
"Emma?" – Regina asked, looking at her friend – "What are you doi-"
"Do you know where Killian is?" – Emma interrupted her with a trembling voice.
Great, the pirate totally ignored my advices – Regina said to herself – Why the hell didn't he search for Emma, like I told him to?
"We had a fight and he didn't sleep at home" – Emma continued to say.
"I know" – Regina said. Emma looked at her confused – "He spent the night here"
"He spent the night here …" – Emma repeated Regina's words – "So he didn't –"
"Leave town?" – Regina completed Emma's sentence – "Of course he didn't. He was miserable. I'm pretty sure he didn't even sleep" – she continued to say, hand coming out to guide her to inside the house – "And you didn't even tell him about the baby"
"I was going to …" – Emma said, watching Regina closing the front door – "but then –"
"Meg-Milah appeared" – Regina completed Emma's sentence again – "The pirate and I had a little chat" – she explained, noticing the confused look on Emma's face.
"He knew that she was alive and he didn't tell me, Regina" – Emma said.
"Neither did you" – Regina said with a judgy look, referring to the baby – "Besides, you're not mad at him because he didn't tell you about his dead ex-wife, you're mad because you're afraid that you might lose you him to her" – Emma remained in silence, looking at her friend –"And before that could happen you pushed him away"
"Don't you get it? Everything was fine!" – Emma exclaimed – "Killian and I … we were fine, we were good but since I found out about the baby it's like everything is falling apart …" – she continued to say – "It's like I'm cursed or something …"
"You're not" – Regina stated – "You're the savior, you can't be cursed" – she added.
"I just want things to get back to normal, you know?" – Emma sighed.
"So work things out with Killian" – Regina gently said – "Don't push him away, especially not now" – she added – "I'll pick up Henry from school so he can stay here tonight"
Emma nodded and left Regina's house. She was going to find him.
Killian entered in the sheriff station. His eyes immediately caught David seated at his desk, reading some files.
He passed by David and opened one of the doors of the sheriff station, trying to find any sign of Emma.
"Good morning, Dave. Sorry I'm late. Can I help you with something?" – David ironically said, turning his body to face Killian.
Killian ignored his words and continued to search for Emma. Seeing the way Killian was acting, David approached him.
"Hey, what's wrong?" – he asked, grabbing Killian's arm.
"Where's Emma?" – Killian asked, unable to hide his nervousness.
David looked at his friend and immediately noticed the bags under Killian's eyes and that his hair was mussed.
"I don't know … she didn't show up today"– David said – "Did something happen? Is something wrong with my daughter?"
Killian stood in silence looking at David; seeing the concern in his eyes – the concern about a daughter, the type of concern that he would never experience.
"It's nothing, David" – Killian said, interrupting the silence – "I just need to talk to her, that's all…"
"You're not leaving this station until you tell me what is really going on" – David said, preventing Killian from reaching the front door.
Killian ran a frustrated hand through his hair. David remained in silence waiting for him to talk.
"We had a fight last night…" – Killian said after he took a deep breath. David opened his mouth to speak but Killian cut him off – "… and before you can give me some stern lecture, yes it was my fault and yes I should have told her the truth…" – he added – "and she had every right to kick me out of the house" – he murmured.
"So she knows …" – David said, referring to the fact of Milah being alive.
"She knows…" – Killian repeated.
David grabbed the phone of the sheriff station and tried to call Emma. After a few seconds he hung up the phone.
"She didn't answer the phone" – he said, sitting on his chair but when he looked at the spot where Killian was he didn't see his friend.
He heard the sound of a door closing and wished Killian a silent good luck already certain that if anyone could find his daughter that person was Killian Jones.
Emma was about to go search for Killian in the sheriff station when she had a better idea – the docks. Yes, Killian would be there.
She entered in her car and made her way to the docks. Her whole body started to be invaded by guilt.
If she hadn't told him to leave … God, why did she keep doing that? Why did she keep pulling away from the people she loved?
He was miserable – she could hear Regina's words and immediately felt like someone had punched her in her stomach.
Honestly, she would feel devastated if she had heard the same words that she had told Killian:
You're a liar …
You've been lying to me about everything, about you, about me …
I'm not your love … I never was …
It was wrong from the beginning
Tears started to sting in her eyes, blurring her vision. She took a deep breath, trying to fight the tears from falling. She was not going to cry; she was tired of crying.
A few minutes later and she found herself at the docks. She immediately got out of her yellow bug and ran to the boat house.
Emma called for his name but there was no response. She looked around the room, searching for him but all that she found were lonely boats.
She got out of the boat house and started to search around the docks near the water, where the boats were moored.
She detected some movement and approached one of the boats. As she walked till the place where she thought she had seen a shadow of a person she started to hear some voices – men voices.
Emma felt all eyes on her as soon as she arrived at the spot where a group of at least ten men were chatting and eating. They all stopped when they saw her. She had never seen these men before.
"Hi" – she awkwardly said, breaking the silence – "I'm the Sheriff of Storybrooke" – she said, clearing her throat, trying to look like a Sheriff and not a lost girl – "I'm looking for a person … uhh, a man … dark hair, blue eyes … his names is –"
"Killian Jones" – one of the men completed her sentence.
"Yeah" – Emma said, looking at the man that had spoken –"I'm sorry but … how do you know him? I'm pretty sure I've never seen you before"
"He was the one who saved me – us" – he said pointing at the men around him. Emma looked at him with a confused look – "From the Captain" – the man explained, noticing that Emma was not following – "We are – were –members of the crew of the Jolly Roger. The Captain held us prisoners, uhh, she had our hearts so she was able to control us"
Emma tried to put all the pieces of the puzzle together but none of what this man was saying made sense. Her father had told her that they had been rescued by some fishermen that were passing near the island and these men were clearly not fishermen, they looked like pirates.
The man had also mentioned the Jolly Roger which meant that her father had lied to her and she had believed it. She had felt so guilty for not being able to find them that her super power didn't detect her father's lie and she had actually believed in him. Killian had probably asked him to tell that ridiculous story so he could hide what really happened.
"By Captain you mean Milah, right?" – Emma asked, trying to remain with a neutral face at the thought of the pirate. Milah's words about the Jolly started to make sense now.
"Aye" – the crewman said – "And you must be Emma" – before Emma could ask how this complete stranger knew her name the man spoke again – "I heard your husband and the two other men talking about you" – he explained.
Emma was about to correct the man about Killian being her husband but the words never left her mouth – "What's your name?"
"I'm Thomas" – he said.
"So, Thomas, you said that Killian helped you …" – Emma said, trying to get some answers.
"Aye, thanks to him we have our hearts again" – Thomas said – "He had my heart in his hand … he could have crushed it but he didn't. He saved me" – he added – "He clearly knows what good form means"
Emma smiled. Hearing Thomas talking like that about Killian made her feel proud of the man she had chosen to spend the rest of her life with; the hero he had become … and as much as she wanted to continue to hear the crewman talk about what happened in the Jolly Roger she needed to find Killian.
"I'm looking for him" – she said, looking at the rest of the men, sounding like a true captain talking to her crew – "Did any of you see him?"
The men shook their heads.
She looked at Thomas but the man gave her the same answer than the rest of the crew.
"Thank you" – she softly said before heading to her car, feeling lonelier than ever.
Killian was passing by the Storybrooke Elementary School when he saw someone running in his direction. He immediately hid the pain in his eyes with a soft smile.
"Hi, lad" – he said, smiling at Henry.
"Hi" – the boy said, sounding a little nervous.
"Is everything alright?" – Killian asked, noticing Henry's strange behavior. Did he know about their fight?
"Yeah … hmm, school stuff, that's all" – Henry said – "What are you doing here? Aren't you a little bit old for school? "
Killian raised his eyebrow and smirked, reacting the same way he always did when Emma tease him about his age.
"I'm looking for your mother" – he said – "Do you know where she is?"
"No … the class ended just now, I'm on my lunch break" – Henry said – "I didn't speak with her today. Is something wrong? Did something happen?" – he asked.
"No, no, no, everything is fine" – Killian immediately said – "I just needed to talk to her but I lost my phone so …"
"Did you try the sheriff station?" – Henry asked.
"Aye … she's not there" – Killian said.
"Maybe she's in the loft with grandma" – Henry suggested.
"Perhaps she is" – he said, faking a smile. He had checked the loft just a few minutes ago and she wasn't there – "See you at home, lad. Don't eat too many fries" – he said before turning his body and start to walk again.
"Yeah …" – Henry softly said. He watched as Killian started to turn away. C'mon Henry, just ask him, a little voice inside his head murmured – "Da-Killian wait!" – he suddenly said, making Killian turn his body to him – "I need to ask you something" – he added, making his way towards him.
"What is it?" – Killian asked, looking at Henry.
"Hmm … it's a school project … uhh, we have to pick a family member and write about it" – Henry explained.
"That sounds … how do you say it … cool" – Killian said with his typical accent, smiling.
"Yeah, it is cool" – he said, imitating Killian's accent – "Before I found my mom I used to suck at this kind of projects but now … now I really like it" – he said with a shy smile.
"I'm sure you'll get the best grade of the class" – Killian proudly said – "If you need my help with anything –"
"I do" – Henry immediately said – "I, hmm, I wanted to write about my dad …" – he added – "… and I was hoping you could help me"
"Sure" – Killian said – "I'll tell you whatever you need to know about Baelfire, I mean Neal" – he continued to say.
"No, I wasn't talking abou –"– Henry tried to say but Killian interrupted him.
"I was with him for a short period of time but I can tell you about our time together" – Killian explained – "When I met him he had your age, I think"
"I'm not talking about my father; about Neal" – Henry interrupted Killian from his memories – "I … I miss him and I will always love him but he was never really my dad … we never did father and son's stuff, you know?" – he tried to explained, noticing the confused look on Killian's face – "He never put me to sleep or made pancakes with me. He never helped me with my homework or read me stories before I fall asleep. He never taught me how to play dice or tie knots or read the stars. He never taught me how to sail a ship but you … you do all this stuff and more"
"Henry …" – Killian murmured, starting to realize what Henry was trying to say.
"I spend more time with you than I ever spent with him ..." – Henry continued to say – "We may not have the same blood running into our veins but that doesn't make you less my father than he was" – he added, looking at Killian's deep blue eyes – "So what I'm trying to say is that I picked you for my school project"
Killian was almost sure that he had forgotten how to breathe after hearing Henry's words, especially his last words – I picked you.
I would pick you – Emma's words of when he had been in the hospital started to echo in his mind – I would pick you. Maybe without even notice she was already predicting their future; the future where Emma trusted him the safety of her child; the future where Emma allowed him to be a father figure to Henry. He could almost complete her sentence I would pick you to be Henry's father.
Gods, he could hear his own heart beating inside his chest. He was happy. His life was a total mess but somehow none of that mattered anymore.
He had never called Henry by son but that didn't mean that he didn't consider him his child. He had already admitted it to Milah in the Jolly Roger but then, after hearing her cold words, the doubts starting to invade his mind:
That boy will never be your son and do you want to know why? Because he doesn't sees you like a father, only like an obstacle who stood between Emma and Baelfire; the man who destroyed the chance of his parents being together; the man who destroyed his family
She was wrong. Now he was one hundred per cent sure that she was wrong.
Killian opened his mouth to speak but then a new doubt appeared as he looked at Henry's brown eyes – Bae's eyes.
What if he thinks that I'm trying to replace Baelfire? What if Emma thinks that I'm trying to erase all Henry's memories of Bae? What if she doesn't see me like I'm good enough to be his father? What if I disappoint him …?
Henry's eyes brought him back to reality. The boy was waiting for his answer.
Killian wanted to hug him, ruffle his hair, bloody hell, he wanted to take Henry with him, find Emma and go home – their home. But he needed Henry to know that his intentions were pure; that he wasn't trying to replace his father.
"I don't want you to think that I'm trying to replace Bael-Neal" – he finally said.
"I know, I know … and I understand if you don't want me to –"– Henry tried to say but Killian didn't let him finish his sentence.
"I want to" – he immediately said, touching Henry's shoulder, making sure that there were no more doubts.
I want you to call me that – he said to himself.
Killian watched as a big smile started to appear on Henry's face. Taking him by surprise, Henry hugged him tight.
"Thank you, dad" – he murmured against Killian's chest.
Dad. It was the first time ever that someone called him that and he never thought that a small word could have such power over him. Dad. He was a dad. With or without prophecy he already had a son.
"No, thank you" – he said, releasing the air that he didn't know was trapped in his lungs as his hand cradled the back of Henry's head.
David watched from his desk Emma entering in the sheriff station the same way Killian did hours ago. Before he could say anything Emma did the exact same thing that Killian did. She passed by him and opened one of the doors of the sheriff station, trying to find any sign of Killian.
David approached her – "Emma" – he said, grabbing her arm gently. He looked at her daughter and immediately noticed the bags under Emma's red eyes, quickly realizing that she had been crying.
"Don't" – she said, trying to free herself from her father's hold.
"He's not here" – David said, releasing her.
They remained in silence for a few seconds.
"You lied to me" – Emma finally said – "When I asked you how you managed to come back you said that some fishermen found you and brought you back"
"Honey …" – David tried to explain.
"It's okay. I'm not blaming you" – she simply said – "The lie … It was Killian's idea, right?"
"He was just trying to protect you" – David said, trying to make Emma understand Killian's reasons.
"I know" – Emma sighed.
David looked at her with a surprised look. No yelling, no accusations, no narrow eyes.
"I already said things that I didn't mean" – she answered her father's thoughts.
"He was looking for you" – David said.
"He was?" – Emma asked, biting her lower lip.
"He would go till the end of the world for you, or time" – David said, remembering the words Killian had told him in the past.
"I told him to leave …" – Emma said with a trembling voice – "I told him horrible things, dad" – her voice broke on dad and David immediately pulled her toward him, his arms wrapping around her as his hand caressed her blonde hair.
Emma wanted to blame the damn hormones as soon as she started to cry. She buried her head into her father's shoulder, feeling the sobs through her whole body. She was crying in her father's arms, letting the tears stain his shirt. Suddenly she found it hard to breath.
"Honey, breathe" – David gently said, leaning back so he could look at her – "You have to breath, Emma" – he said, taking a big breath himself and nodding at her to do the same.
She did what her father told her and after a few tries the sobs stopped.
"I'm okay" – she mumbled as her father caressed her cheek.
"I'll drive you home" – David said after a few seconds, searching for his car keys.
"No … I'm fine, dad. I can drive" – Emma said.
"Emma …" – her father tried to say.
"I'm fine" – she repeated – "You need to stay here … if Killian shows up call me, okay?" – she added.
David reluctantly nodded. He knew that arguing with Emma would be pointless.
"Thank you, dad" – she said before leaving the station.
After searching at the animal shelter and the woods, Killian decided to go to the docks. Storybrooke was such a small town but with so many places that Killian was starting to feel exhausted – not physically but mentally.
He cursed himself. He shouldn't have left. He shouldn't have kept information from her. It was wrong from the beginning.
It was wrong from the beginning – Emma's words summarized his situation.
He looked at the horizon. The sunset would be in a few minutes and he hadn't found her yet.
There was no one at the docks but him, unaware that a few hours ago Emma had been in the same spot he was now, looking at the same boats he was now looking at.
The smell of the ocean woke up a memory in him:
"I should've known you'd try to take me to the ocean" - Emma laughed, sloshing out into the frigid water.
Killian remained in silence and waded in behind her, smiling at the sound of Emma's laugh. Gods, he loved that sound.
"You know that we are fully clothed, right?" – she said, feeling the water covering her stomach.
"I've missed you" – he softly said, swirling her to face him.
It had been months since the last time they had been this close to each other.
After Emma become the Dark One she refused to approached to anyone, especially to the people she loved, even after Killian told her that he wasn't afraid of her, that he believed in her. It was in one of those moments, when Killian had tried to reach for her, that he said those three big words to her – I love you.
After hearing those words Emma paralyzed, allowing Killian to approach her without she even realize it, reducing the distance between them.
I love you – he repeated, pushing a stray lock of hair behind her ear.
I know – she mumbled, feeling the touch of his hand on her skin – I guess I always knew … You said it so many times in so many different ways and I … I never said it back until I decided to turn myself into this – she added and suddenly panic invaded her whole body. He was too close. She took a step back, preventing him from touching her – You should hate me now. I'm the Dark One.
I could never hate you – he said, moving towards her, making Emma take another step back.
You have to – she said with a trembling voice.
Love … – he tried to say but Emma immediately disappeared in a dark smoke, leaving Killian alone with the word "Love" lost in the distance between them.
A few months later, with Merlin's help they finally found a way to take out all of the darkness from Emma's heart, releasing her from the dagger … and now here they were, in the wide open seas, together.
"I've missed you too" – she said, putting her arms around his neck and wrapping her legs around his torso.
"Are you trying to escape from the water?" – he teased her, feeling one of her hands caressing his hair.
Emma blew out a shaky laugh, moving her head quickly left and right. Killian remained in silence, looking at the beautiful woman in his arms.
Emma looked him straight in the eyes before she leaned her head to him so she could reach his lips. He reacted to the kiss immediately, opening his mouth so he could deepen the kiss. Both of Emma's hands were now on his hair and Killian groaned, grasping at her waist with hunger.
"Are you sure?" – he whispered against her lips as he drew away from her, realizing what was about to happen. Emma nodded, smiling softly as she leaned in to kiss him but Killian spoke again – "We don't have to do this now, here … We can wait"
"We've waited long enough" – she mumbled against his lips – "I want this now, here, with you" – she said, emphasizing each one of the words – "I need you"
He crashed his lips against hers and she relaxed slightly against him, cupping his face and kissing him back fervently, desperate for more.
His hand reached the bottom of her shirt and their lips parted as Emma lifted her arms, allowing him to take off her shirt. As soon as the shirt was off of her body she kissed his neck and started to unbutton his shirt, feeling his hot skin under her hands. Killian could feel Emma's lips placing kisses along his throat and he let his head fall back. He could feel her hands taking off his belt from his pants. He grabbed her hair and looked at her like she was not real, like this was just a dream and he would wake up at any minute. Emma was certain that it was possible to drown in his deep blue eyes – he was the most beautiful man she had ever seen and he was hers.
She traced her fingertips low across his belly, enjoying the way his abdominal muscles reacted at her touch, and then she took off her own pants immediately feeling Killian's skin against her skin. She didn't know when he had taken off his pants but she was glad he did.
He crashed his lips against hers once again and felt Emma's nails digging into the back of his neck. He bit her lips lightly and all of sudden it was just too much.
They made love in the wide open seas, far away from the world. An eternity later and Emma's legs were still wrapped around Killian's torso while he carried her out of the water. He laid her down on the soft sand. Emma opened her eyes and smiled as Killian's thumb found the little cleft in her chin. He smiled back rubbing his nose against hers in a tender motion. They made love in the moonlight.
Without even realizing, Killian found himself at the beach, searching for the exact same spot where once he had been happy; where he had been whole again.
The sun had almost disappeared in the ocean when he saw someone seated on the sand near the water – the person he was looking for.
After leaving the sheriff station Emma went home, hoping to find Killian there but the house was empty, so she opened the door that led to the beach. She didn't know how long she had been walking until she finally stopped. She could barely see their house from the spot she was seated.
Killian and she used to enjoy long walks on the beach; his finger intertwined; her head resting on his shoulder … and somehow they always ended up on that spot of the beach. The familiar beach rocks remembered her of the place where they had made love for the first time and so many times after.
She was hearing the sound of the waves crashing; feeling the water softly touching her barefoot feet when another sound mixed with the sound of the ocean caught her attention.
She slowly turned her head and got up from the sand, not believing in her own eyes.
Killian approached her in silence, not really knowing how she would react to the words he wanted to say to her. She had always been an open book to him but now he was afraid that the book was forever closed.
When he was just a few steps from her he opened his mouth to speak but before he could say anything Emma's body collided against Killian's. He could feel her hands grabbing his shirt and her body trembling as she tried to suppress the sobs.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry" – she managed to say, with her head buried in his chest – "I'm sorry …"
After hearing her soft voice he finally encircled her waist, trying to reassure her that he was there; that he was not going anywhere.
"I'm the one who should apologize" – he murmured against her soft hair as a huge weight had been lifted from his chest.
"No … I shouldn't have said those things" – she said with a trembling voice, moving her head back just enough to be able to look up at him – "I didn't mean what I said to you"
"I know –" – Killian tried to say but Emma interrupted him.
"No, you don't" – she said, looking at his deep blue eyes – "I was angry and … and afraid and I needed to – I wanted to – blame you for making me feel that way" – she tried to explain before she took a deep pause, looking at her feet – "Because the truth is that … the thought of you wake up some day and realize that I'm just a disappointment, that I'm not what you expected me to be scares me" – her voice broke on scares me.
"Hey …" – Killian immediately said, lifting her chin gently with his hand – "You don't have to worry about that, ever" – he said, losing himself inside her green eyes, realizing that Milah's presence was starting to create doubts in Emma's mind; she was thinking that she was just a rebound and she couldn't be more wrong – "I told you, even if I wanted to I couldn't stop loving you" – he added
And just like that Killian took her breath away once more and tears started to prick her eyes, moved by his words. She immediately cupped his face with her hands and kissed his lips passionately – a burning desire running through her whole body.
His tongue darted out to tease her lips and she gasped in pleasure. He smirked and deepened the kiss, his body relaxing completely.
"I need you" – she murmured a few seconds later, gasping for air.
Killian heard the same words she had said to him a year ago on that same spot and was unable to control his body. He grabbed her thighs, allowing Emma to wrap her legs around his torso, lifting her onto him. His arm with the hook encircled her, tinging his hold around her as she kissed his lips with passion. His hands kept pulling her closer while they entered in the ocean.
There was so much more that he needed to tell her but he had missed her more than he ever thought it was possible. He needed her. He wanted to forget the world or the world to forget him and just be with his Swan.
He didn't want to think about Milah or the boat accident or the prophecy. He was tired of living in fear. He knew that he was going to have to tell Emma about everything but right now all he wanted to do was to touch her bare skin and feel her without regrets. All he wanted was for them to be just Emma and just Killian; no titles: no savior, no pirate, no princess, no hero.
The sun finally disappeared in the horizon allowing them to get lost, not in the wide open seas, but in each other.
The next morning
Killian woke up with the sound of seagulls and waves crashing on the sand. He slowly opened his eyes, quickly realizing that he was on the beach.
Emma was still asleep. Her head was buried in his chest and Killian stood in silence contemplating the way she breathed. She was just wearing his leather jacket and her panties. He was only wearing his black jeans.
Killian noticed that Emma's right hand was grabbing his necklaces and smiled. He started to caress her hair.
A few minutes later he felt Emma moving her head and placed a kiss on her forehead.
"Hi …" – she murmured, lifting her head a little bit so she could look at him.
"Hi" – he repeated tenderly.
She moved herself into a sitting position and Killian imitated her. She looked at the man in front of her and caressed his cheek. Killian put his hand over hers and she immediately noticed that there was something different in his arm. She grabbed it and finally realized what was missing – the tattoo.
"How?" – she softly asked.
"Regina" – Killian said.
"Killian, you didn't have to –"– Emma tried to say.
"Yes, I did" – Killian interrupted her – "I wanted to" – he added and Emma smiled – "We need to talk. I want to tell you what happened during the boat trip" – he said, pushing a stray lock of hair behind her ear.
Emma remained in silence as Killian started to tell her what had really happened during the boat trip. He told her about the storm, the mermaid/siren and finally about the Jolly Roger and Milah.
When he explained to her how Milah had managed to survive Rumpelstiltskin's attack and stay alive for almost three hundred years, thanks to the linking spell, Emma's eyes immediately widened with concern. Her hand immediately rested over his chest, trying to make sure that his heart was still beating. He assured her that the linking spell didn't control his actions and that he was fine, regardless Emma's expression didn't change. She was worried … how could she not be? He could die at any minute if something happened to Milah. No, there was to be a way to unlink them and she was not going to rest until she found it.
He continued to talk about the time they were in the Jolly Roger, explaining to her how they managed to escape with the help of the crewmen.
"I know" – she interrupted him. Killian looked at her confused – "Thomas told me what you've done"
"You talked with Thomas?" – he asked.
"Yes … I was searching for you at the docks and I saw a group of men, clearly not from town" – she started to explained – "I described you and I asked if anyone had seen you and Thomas said your name and explained to me that you saved them"
"I didn't save anyone love …" – Killian mumbled – "I was just trying to find a way back home"
"Stop being modest Killian" – Emma said – "You saved them … and Robin and my dad"
Killian rolled his eyes. He was still getting used of being seen as person who helped other people; he was still getting used of being a hero.
"There's something else you need to know" – Killian said after taking a deep breath – "I should have told you sooner" – he continued to say, touching the little cleft in her chin – "No more secrets"
Emma looked at him in a strange way. Kilian's words started to echo in her mind:
There's something else you need to know
I should have told you sooner
No more secrets
She was the one who should have been saying those words, not him.
Killian was about to tell her about the prophecy when Emma grabbed his hand and took it off of her face. That action made Killian think that maybe he shouldn't have brought it up the subject; that Emma had misunderstood the word secrets and she was going to blame him for hiding more information from her … but then he realized that she was still holding his hand with not one but both of her hands, guiding his hand to somewhere.
He followed the movement of their hands and when he felt his hand touching her stomach he took his eyes from his hand and looked at her. Emma bit her lower lip when Killian's eyes met hers.
"No more secrets" – she softly said, repeating Killian's words.
He looked at her with a confused expression and unconsciously Emma tightened the grip, preventing him of letting go his hand from hers; preventing him from running away.
"I'm pregnant" – Emma finally said.
I know, I know, cliffhanger … but she finally told him! So, am I forgiven for the amount of time it took me to update?
Sound of your thoughts in the box bellow!
I hope to see you next chapter!