A little Epiphany gift! Enjoy!
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Chapter 4 - Paul
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"Gregory! C'mon!"
He looked at the closed door as he clearly could hear his sister's voice calling him, but he didn't answer, too focused on what he was doing.
"Oh, here you are!" Rachel said opening the door of her mother's bedroom "What are you doing? C'mon, Mom is waiting for us. We're late" She said approaching him and taking his arm.
"Wait!" He replied glaring at her and putting instead a colored pencil into her hand "Wwite 'Get well. Love you'" He said looking at her and then whispering a long 'pleeeeeeese', with big puppy eyes.
Rachel rolled her eyes and sighed, but took that pencil and wrote those words on the paper near what looked like a giant men and a smaller man with a too big head.
"Where did you take this sheet?" She asked handing it back to him while he shrugged, then folding it in half and putting it into his Paw Patrol backpack.
Rachel shrugged in turn as she heard her mother's voice calling them from downstairs. She obviously had no time to wait for an answer.
"C'mon" She said, again taking his little brother's hand and pulling him toward the door.
"No, wait! Paul!" He said again, freeing from her hand and running toward the bed as she rolled her eyes again. Paul. His plush toy. She watched him as he climbed on the bed, obviously unconcerned about being on the bed with his shoes on, and ran a hand on her face. He disappeared under the covers, looking for his stuffed pet among the bed sheets and then finally re-emerging from them with Paul in his hand.
"You know? It would be easy if you stop to come in mom's bed every night!" She said in an annoyed tone as he stuck his tongue out at her and passed near her, then running down the stairs.
...
House felt his presence before he spoke, but didn't move, keeping his eyes closed as he pretended to be asleep. Three days in a row. Every time it was just a few minutes until the nurse came to take him back in the nursery school but... he had found himself waiting for him to pop over... and, well, he probably was going to miss him.
Gregory climbed on the bed and looked at him.
"Awe you sleeping?" He asked touching his cheek.
"Actually I was! Past tense!" He replied opening just one eye to look at him with a fake annoyed look "Why aren't you taking a nap too?" He asked.
He didn't answer and kept exploring his face moving his little fingers from his smooth chin to his nose and forehead and hair.
"What the hell are you doing?" He asked moving his tiny hand away from his face and rubbing his now tickling nose.
"You look a bit like daddy" He said nodding "But he doesn't have weiwd hair" he said looking at his hair "nor all these lines hewe" he added pointing to the wrinkle on his forehead and around his eyes "and he's not so smooth" He added again this time pointing at his cheeks.
"Whoa! He looks exactly like me then!" He said, laughing, looking at him as he laughed in turn.
He looked at him with his big eyes.
"Awe you weally going away?" He asked with a pout.
House sat up and took him on his knees.
"Hospital is for sick people, and I'm not sick anymore" He said looking at him as he nodded biting his lower lip.
"Can you come hewe to say hello sometimes?" He asked as his blue eyes grew even bigger.
"Maybe" he replied "But you have to be in the nursery school or I won't be able to find you" He added ruffling his hair as he smiled and nodded.
He looked at him as he suddenly climbed down his knees and reached for his backpack near the door, then climbing again on the bed next to him. House looked at him as he looked for something into it and then lost his patience turning his backpack upside down and spreading the contents on the bed as part of it rolled under the bed.
"Fow you" He said handing him a drawing and smiling "See? It's you and me and... I wrote my name all by myself" He said proudly.
House looked at that drawing. At that "I love you" and at that "GrEgoRy" written in uneven and lopsided letters.
"Is this me?" He asked with a smile as he nodded and gave him an ear to ear smile.
"You awe the biggew one" he pointed out as House couldn't help but smile.
"Well, thank you then" He said looking at him "And...see? I already get well. Looks like you're better then all these doctors in here" he added.
Gregory smiled again.
"Not all" he said in a serious tone beginning to put his things back into his backpack "Mama is the gwetest doctow in the wowld"
House look at him. What? No... it couldn't be... Again it was probably just a joke of his mind... Even because... well, it looked like the Dean of that place was a bearded man in his sixties. But... what if...?
"What's your mom's name?" He asked looking at him as he disappeared under the bed then re-emerging after a few seconds just for disappearing again.
"What's are you looking for?" He asked still looking at him.
"Paul!" He replied "My awm is too showt" He added pouting at him.
House held back a smile. Paul? Who was Paul? He knelt and looked under the bed then reaching for the black plush under his bedside table.
"Gregory!"
House looked up at the nurse on the doorway and just then at the plush toy in his hand.
Paul.
He froze. His eyes fixed on that black and white plush toy.
Paul the Penguin.
Paul the Peace Penguin.
He looked at Gregory's tiny hand as he reached for his 'Paul' from his big hand, then putting his little arms around his neck.
He stood motionless looking at him as he took the nurse's hand and gestured him one of his usual 'bye bye'.
He looked at that closing door. And at Gregory's head which popped over again.
"Lisa" he said with a big smile "It's my mommy's name" he said, then waving another bye-bye and disappearing behind that door.
He didn't reply, just looking at that now closed door.
How could it be possible? Was he really Cuddy's son? After all Lisa was a very common name... But... he didn't believe in coincidences, right? Was that really a coincidence? Or Wilson knew that she had moved there when he had wanted Boston as last stop-over of his trip?
It couldn't just be a coincidence. He was her son. His son. That is why he glared at him with Cuddy's glare. That is why he looked at him like his own mirrored image looked at him.
How could have happened he didn't notice that she was pregnant? Yeah, she wasn't that pregnant but... how could have it happened that he didn't tell she was pregnant just by looking into her eyes?
He looked at the drawing on his bed. At that uneven and lopsided 'GrEgoRy'.
Why did she name him after the man that could have killed her and her baby?
"You look a bit like daddy" He had said him "But he doesn't have weiwd hair...nor all these lines hewe and he's not so smooth"
What was going on? She didn't even attend his funeral, for Christ Sake! But... had she told her son about him? About 'daddy'?
He ran a hand on his forehead and then on his face as a sudden nausea closed his stomach.
Shit! She wasn't there because...
He could not even finish that thought as soon as he folded that drawing in half and his eyes focused on what was on the other side of that paper sheet...
Cuddy's handwriting. Her unique handwriting. And a date. Just a few days before that fire.
His eyes focused on those words.
... I miss you... I miss you being you... I tried but I can't hate you...
... and I still love you. And I can't help but ask to myself: "Did he really love me?"
... and I wonder if I'll ever be happy again.
He paused on that 'I can't help but think... "Does he still love me like I do?" ...because, well... I know that I hurt you as much as you hurt me... so... I'm not blaming you if you don't... if you moved on...'
Damn, Cuddy! How few you know me? He closed his eyes and sighed. Why a letter? Why a damned letter?
He couldn't help but look at those words. There it was.
... there's not an easy way to say what I have to say... I just think you deserve to know. To know that in a few weeks a baby boy will look at the world for the first time.
... Our baby, House. Ours.
This time he couldn't stop the tear that rolled down his cheek turning the 's' of that 'ours' in a grey spot. He touched that spot with the tip of his finger and closed his eyes, then looking up to avoid other tears from falling. That is what those other grey spots on the paper were. Her tears.
... each one of his kicks reminds me of you...
...What do I have to say him, House? What do you want me to say him?
...all I want you to know is that I'm not going to keep him away from you.
...Is it that bad if I tell him he came from his parents' love? Because... he did, House.
He instinctively turned the sheet looking for the lacking part of that letter but he obviously found just Gregory's drawing. There was no way he could know what came after that but that was enough for him. Enough for him for now how much they had both lost. How much time they had both lost.
He looked again at what was the last sentence on that sheet.
At that '... he came from his parents' love ...'
"Yes, he did, Cuddy!" He whispered in the silence of that bedroom.