The music suddenly seemed so much louder. I couldn't hear myself think. Emily was there, right there, pretty much within touching distance yet I couldn't move towards her, I couldn't speak and I'm pretty sure I was struggling to breathe too. I had completely froze.
She stared at me, narrowing her eyes, I wasn't sure if she was thinking of slapping me hard across the face or enveloping me in one of those amazing Fitch cuddles of hers. You know the kind where someone holds you so tight it's like you are all that matters. That option was nothing more than wishful thinking on my part. It was like she wasn't altogether sure it was really me. Despite the change in hair colour and a few years behind me, I hadn't really changed and from who I was now looking at, neither had she.
Her red coloured hair hung loosely just below her shoulders, I quickly noted how much the Cyprus sun had got to her skin because it was a lot darker than what I remembered. I was always so jealous of how easily she could manage a tan. I always seemed to struggle, something which she teased me about endlessly at times, especially on the holiday to Spain during our college days. I remember everything about that week. The beautiful hotel, our favourite places to go to dinner, Emily's favourite made up cocktail that some barman knocked up at her odd request, the stargazing, the love making at the beach. It was easily the best week of my life and it seemed like a lifetime ago now.
"Naomi," she finally coaxed out a throaty whisper, the mere mention of my name leaving her lips caused a deep flutter in my stomach, which only intensified when she took a step closer. "Jesus, it's really you. What the fuck are you doing here?"
Her question wasn't laced with the same pissed off anger that her sister's was earlier in the day. I was instantly relieved by that.
"Holiday," is all I manage, I swallow hard and try again. "Visiting my Mum actually,"
"Visiting?"
"She moved here with Kieran just over a year ago, they bought one of those new apartments on the hill,"
"Right," she answered. "Right," then repeated, shaking her head a little as if to shake thoughts from her mind. "Sorry, it's just I didn't... Well, I didn't,"
"Expect to see me?" I finish for her, shooting a weak smile in her direction. I think part of me was still awaiting that sharp slap in the face.
"Understatement of the century," she allowed herself to smile back just for a second. I caught it and I remembered in an instant why I had always loved it. "You look well,"
"Thanks, so do you, you look great," Shit. I stop myself from saying anything else. I could easily stand here and tell her she's still the most beautiful person I've ever known but I don't.
"Thank you, you'd be surprised how much good living here does for you,"
"What?" I ask quickly, not sure if I misheard over the music from the club.
"You live here in Cyprus?"
"Yeah," she nods, "I can hardly hear myself think over this music, do you want to come into the office?"
Turns out, not only does she live here, she's the proud owner of this particular nightclub too. I'm surprised. Never in a million years would I have said owning a club abroad would be high on the list of Emily's priorities but I guess things change as years pass.
I entered the office with her, closing the door behind me. It blocked out the noise from the club and suddenly I could hear myself think. She slipped behind the desk and I couldn't help but take a little look around. There was a stack of paperwork in front of her, with a computer and a couple of framed photographs. My eye immediately caught one of them. It was the little girl from the beach. Her little girl. From where I was stood, I couldn't properly see but I made sure I averted my gaze elsewhere before she caught me.
"You don't have to stand at the door, sit down, you make the place look untidy," she laughed and signalled towards the leather sofa to the left of her desk. I took the few steps across the office and perched myself on the seat. "So, you're a successful business woman?"
"I don't know about that," she grins, I chew my lip. "I bought this place with Katie two years ago, it's ours but you would never think it. She's hardly ever here and as you can see, I do most of the work,"
"That sounds typically like Katie,"
"It was a seventy thirty split, so technically it's more my place than hers anyway," she says, clearing some of the clutter from the top of her desk. "I just needed a little bit of help to get going,"
"So how long have you actually stayed here?"
"Four years," she answers clearing her throat. "I moved here after spending some time in Scotland,"
"Scotland?"
"Edinburgh to be exact, it's a lovely place, I met some really decent people there," my head swirls and I momentarily wonder if she is dating any of these 'decent people' or more to the point, if any of these 'decent people' is Father to her kid that I still haven't let on to knowing about. "But life here is slightly better, I mean I've got the weather, a beautiful beach on my doorstep and I think I've gave this place a good go, I'm actually quite proud of it,"
"Gotta say, I'm not sure I expected all this,"
"What did you expect? Me to still be the mess I was when I left you?" She asks, a rather harsh and annoyed tone to her voice.
"That's not what I meant,"
"Good, cos life goes on, I certainly wasn't going to let your mistakes rule the rest of my life,"
"I wouldn't expect you to," my voice comes out barely more than a whisper. "It was my fault, one hundred percent my fault,"
"You finally woke up and realised then?"
"Emily, are we really going to do this?" I outwardly sigh. "Here? Now?"
"Six years too late?" She scoffs, shaking her head at me. I hated when she looked at me like that. Disappointment, anger, hurt, everything mixed into one look. "No thanks,"
"You ran remember?" I say and no sooner as the words left my mouth, do I regret it. Fuck sake. I curse under my breath, rubbing my forehead with my fingers.
"What?"
"Nothing, it doesn't matter,"
"I ran?" She echoes me. "Don't you do that, don't you dare,"
"Emily, I didn't,"
"No," her voice raises a level in volume, taking me a bit by surprise. "No. You cheated, Naomi. You fucked someone else and everything we had and worked towards was ruined because of that. Don't you fucking dare stand there and say I ran away from us, there was no us to run away from. You made sure of that,"
"I'm sorry, okay?"
"That empty word,"
"It's not empty," I insist, sitting forward. "Emily, I've never said that word to you and not meant it, never,"
"But you have said it," she replies cuttingly. "So many times,"
"Emily don't,"
"This was a mistake. You should go," she says, a lot softer than before but I still knew she meant it. Her fist was clenched on the desk and she was biting her bottom lip furiously. I knew that was when she was angry, attempting so hard to hold her emotions together. I stood up from the leather seat and stepped forward but she spoke again before I could. "Just go, Naomi,"
It took a lot for me to pick up my bag and leave her office, I even leant against the door as I closed it behind me. I stood for a moment, unsure of what I wanted to do. Go back to the club, turn back into the office or just stand and let the tears spring from my eyes. The third option was pushing, the second was tempting but I went with the first, knowing I'd left Zoe on her own for more than long enough.
"Where the shittin' hell have you been?" Zoe chuckled as I approached our table, she failed to notice my ragged all over the place behaviour. "If you were much longer, I was seriously considering going over there with those guys to make some conversation,"
"Can we go?" I plead, quickly lifting a drink and knocking back the vodka that was left. "Please, I wanna get out of here,"
"Erm yeah if that's what you want," she says with a frown. "Are you okay? What happened with Cook?"
"Nothing," I finish off my drink and loudly place the glass back on the table, wiping my mouth with my hand. Zoe was just staring at me, unimpressed with the one word shortened answer I'd just given her. I sometimes forget that she can read me so easily. "Nothing, okay?"
"So why the sudden rush to do your best Usain Bolt impression out of here?"
"Emily," I say immediately interrupting Zoe who narrowed her eyes at me from the table. "She's here, back there, in this club, her club... Please, I just wanna fucking go,"
"Naomi wait," she stood up as I walked off and managed to catch up with me just outside the entrance of the club. I felt her hand gently on my arm and she spun me around. "You run and you'll regret it,"
"She told me to go,"
"And you started doing what you were told since when?" She smirked for a second and softly squeezed my arm. "She wouldn't of meant it,"
"You didn't see the way she looked at me,"
"She's just angry, you must of expected that,"
"What number did you use to call the taxi before?" I ask, pulling my phone from my bag and deflecting from the subject. "We'll probably wait forever for one,"
"You're unbelievable,"
"Heard it my whole life," I shoot back, placing my phone to my ear.
"Are you gonna run you're whole life too?" She reaches up, taking my phone from my hand before I heard anyone else on the other end. "I'm being a friend here, okay?"
"You're being a pain in the arse, that's what you're being,"
"Maybe," she flashes a grin, knowing full well how annoying she's being at the moment. "I'm gonna call the taxi but you're staying here,"
"Zo," I groan, tossing my head back.
"She's basically right on the other side of that wall, Naomi. How long have you spent a lonely night in Bristol just wishing for this chance? Are you really going to throw that away?"
"You forgetting she told me to leave and said it was a mistake?"
"Ride it out, she's gonna be angry, she's gonna shout and bring things up but deal with it, okay? Don't run away," she stepped forward, forcing my phone back into my hands before reaching up to place a soft kiss on my cheek. "You'll be fine, now get back in there. I'll text you when I've got back to the apartment,"
I don't know how she manages it but Zoe always has the ability to talk me into things. As I stood nervously outside Emily's office door, I realised my best friend had succeeded again. I'm pretty certain if it wasn't for her, I'd be half way across Cyprus, heading to the apartment and contemplating getting a morning flight straight back to England. See, I'm good at running. Emily knows that better than most, so she's probably sitting behind this door, half expecting to never see me again. Whether she'd honestly be happy with that, I wasn't sure.
I take a deep breath, puffing my cheeks out and raise my hand to the door, hesitating for a few seconds. Be brave. The two words echo in my head and the more they do, the more I'm right back at that lake and it's Emily's voice that's telling me to be brave. I drop my hand to the knob of the door and in one swift motion, push down and enter the office.
"Brandon, what have I told you about knocking first?" Emily mutters from her chair, too busy studying whatever was on the computer screen in front of her to lift her eyes for a few seconds. "How is it out there, still got that hen party in?"
"I passed them at the bar," I say, after clearing my throat. Emily's gaze shoots up from the screen and meets mine. "I know you told me to go but I can't,"