Hey guys,
It's been a while. I really thought I'd be able to write during my time in Japan, but turns out I wasn't v.v The days were too packed and the nights too short ^-^;; But I'm back at home and although the con season starts, I'll make time to write! I want to thank all of you who patiently waited for this update and still stick with the story!
I won't abandon anything! I promise! Even if life sometimes delays updates, I'm always gonna get back to writing! So thank you for the comments, kudos and follows, whether it be on or AO3! You guys are the best!
The chapter now focuses more on Yuuri's and Victor's dynamics. On living together and what comes with it in their profession, now that Victor is not only a coach but a skater as well. I wanted to show how they can both learn from each other when they start to combine their strengths. So there's a lot of figure skating stuff in this chapter XD I hope you'll like it!
Disclaimer: I don't own Yuuri! on Ice - All characters belong to MAPPA and Mitsurō Kubo
Chapter 5 Let me help you through the night
Yuuri's own practice went as well as one could expect on their second day in a foreign country, with the jet lag still taking its toll. The jumps weren't quite right; the angles of his blades sometimes a little off, making it hard to land without falling.
Victor meanwhile watched Yuuri from his position at the boards, arms resting on the wooden edge. It was a little strange for Yuuri to see his fiancé go from skater to coach in ten seconds flat as if he'd just flipped a switch inside his head that made him go from cheerful to thoughtful quicker than Yuuri could take off his blade guards.
But he knew whom Victor did all that for and it made heat blossom in his cheeks. All of this still felt like a dream to Yuuri. He'd come to Russia, to Victor, to the man he loved. The man he had admired his entire life only to find that he was anything but what Yuuri had expected him to be and still so much better than all the fantasies he'd come up with over the years.
It wasn't only the physical aspect of their relationship (even if the sex was amazing, at least as far as Yuuri could tell), but everything really. Their entire dynamics that just seemed to click with an ease that should belong to an old married couple rather than two young men who'd discovered love only a few months ago. But with Victor, Yuuri felt like he could do whatever he set his mind to. And even if his anxiety haunted him at times, he knew he wasn't alone in that deep dark place anymore, but that Victor would always be his light in the darkness and guide him back when Yuuri lost himself in his mind.
They were made for each other and Yuuri wanted to convey that with every move, every delicate shift of his hips, every powerful push and every small gesture on the ice, to make the entire world see how much he loved Victor. Especially since he wouldn't skate in the same competitions as Victor till the World Championship.
"Yuuri!", Victor chirped, his blue, blue eyes bright with a childlike joy, his accent a little more prominent as he curled his tongue around the r. "That was great! Impressive for your first day here!"
The praise was enough to make Yuuri blush again, but he hoped he'd be able to hide the effect Victor's words had on him under the flush that already tinted his cheeks red, courtesy of a demanding training session.
He skated over to where Victor was leaning against the boards and stopped in front of him, panting a little and running the back of his hand over his forehead to wipe away the sweat. Victor had demanded for Yuuri to start slowly, but Yuuri had insisted on practicing quads today. He still struggled with the quad flip and on really bad days, when his mind played tricks on him, even the quad salchow could be a liability during competitions. The only way to take countermeasures was by practicing the jumps to perfection.
Yuuri couldn't afford to take things slow if he wanted to win the 4CC in February.
And even if neither Victor nor Yuri would compete against him, JJ and Phichit were serious competition as well.
"Not really. The quad flip is still pretty shaky sometimes. Add that to my nerves and I'll have to at least put a hand down in a competitive setting. I need to improve, if I want to make that jump a regular in my programs", Yuuri disagreed, hands on the barrier while Victor handed him a bottle of water to keep his body hydrated.
"Anyway", Victor said, clearing his throat. "We should call it a day. It's late and we still have to do some grocery shopping if we don't want to starve".
Yuuri furrowed his brows and sighed. He didn't feel ready to go home just yet. "Five more quads, okay? And then we can leave", he asked, taking a deep breath. His legs were a little wobbly from over exertion, but that had never kept Yuuri from practicing.
"Yuuri", Victor whined, a hand running through soft silver hair as he shook his head. "I can't convince you otherwise, can I?".
"No, not really", Yuuri smiled apologetically and pushed off the boards to take his spot in the middle of the rink and gain momentum for the next jump.
"Well, at least he shows some determination", a slightly grumpy voice stated from next to Victor, making him turn his head to face the other man.
"At this pace I fear he'll get injured sooner than later", he said, narrowing his eyes at Yakov. He'd half expected his own coach to be enamoured with Yuuri pretty fast once he realized how much effort and ambition Yuuri put into practice. Something Victor had always lacked.
'Too much natural talent' Yakov had called it and never got tired of pointing out the importance of going over the basics again and again even if Victor always claimed that he already knew how do them.
"If you aim for perfection, you must get all the little details right, not only the hard parts", Yakov said, repeating yet another sentence Victor had heard so often, he could recite it himself by now.
"Too bad you aren't his coach, but I am", Victor replied watching Yuuri perform a slightly under rotated quad flip, the second one already and it was obvious that the younger skater, although blessed with a lot more stamina than anyone else in the room, had reached his limit.
"Vitya…", Yakov warned, arms crossed in front of his chest. Victor could already see the small vein pulse on the other man's forehead; a sure sign that he was pissed off and grumpy (which happened quite often).
Victor didn't say anything. He hated being scolded like a child, while Yurio got away with all of his antics easily. He knew it was probably immature, but Victor felt like he was getting the raw deal compared to the other skaters in Yakov's team. And he didn't only mean Yurio, but Georgi and Mila as well.
Lately it seemed, Victor was the only one being constantly yelled at.
Two salchows and another flip, during which Yuuri had to put his hand down due to exhaustion, later, the Japanese Skater glided over to them, blade angled in front of him to slow down, but careful not to spray any ice into the air as he came to a halt in front of the two men.
"Putting more work into your weaknesses is a good thing, but Vitya's right. Don't overdo it", Yakov said, unbidden but nonetheless appreciated (at least by Yuuri), before he turned and left the two men to themselves.
"What's wrong with him? That was almost a praise.", Yuuri asked, taking an offered towel from Victor to wipe away the sweat trickling down his neck. He was panting and could feel the pressure of his skates against his ankles. Practicing flips and salchows for hours had caused him to only put stress onto the inner blade of his skates. A one-sided strain that he now had to pay for.
Back in the day when Yuuri had first started to skate, that very same pain had been his constant companion. Every move and figure had been easier for him when performed with his weight on his right leg, causing Yuuri to constantly put pressure onto his right ankle until he'd been banned from training due to a severe tendonitis.
"I guess he envies me my student ", Victor chirped, leaning forward to steal a quick kiss from his fiancé.
"Victor", Yuuri whined, taking a step back. "I'm all sweaty and sticky. Don't do that".
Victor just chuckled some and took the towel from Yuuri, exchanging it with the red and white blade guards he was holding. Victor still hoped that he could one day convince his fiancé to get new ones, maybe in Russian colours, but it was too early to ask for that yet. Yuuri had landed only twenty-four hours ago and Victor almost expected him to have an anxiety attack due to homesickness.
"Stop fooling around Vitya and get him home. It's getting dark outside and that boy's not used to Russian winters. It's not getting warmer without the sun out", Yakov grumbled from where he was collecting several items Yurio and Mila had been too lazy to stow away before going home, afterwards turning his back to the two skaters and walking off towards his office.
With Yakov gone, Yuuri and Victor were the only ones left in the rink; Georgi, Yuri and Mila having left some thirty or so minutes ago.
"You know… I think it would be nice to have the rink all to ourselves and skate together. Not as practice but… just for fun…", Yuuri said, turning his head to take in the empty ice behind him and the way the setting sun fell through the windows, giving the sparkling surface of the ice a golden gleam.
Victor smiled and held a hand out for Yuuri to take it as the younger man got off the ice. (Not that he needed it, but Victor considered it a romantic gesture). "We can do that. Maybe on the weekend? Before the rink opens for the public? I would love to see you skate again just for the fun it", he answered, remembering the times when they'd snuck into Ice Castle back in Hasetsu to make good use of the keys Yuuko had entrusted to them.
Yuuri was beautiful just skating to himself, without music and lacking the pressure of practice or competitions. He would mostly do step sequences and spins, exploiting his strengths to entrance Victor over and over again.
"Really? I would love to do that!", Yuuri said, big brown eyes bright with a joy Victor knew all too well. They both belonged on the ice and even if they enjoyed being professionals, they sometimes envied armatures the ease and lightheartedness with which they glided over the ice, while for Yuuri and Victor being on the ice mostly meant serious business instead of free time fun.
"We will. But know you need to take a shower. As much as it bugs me, Yakov is right, it's gonna be shit cold once the sun sets and I want to get you home as soon as possible. We need to buy you winter proof clothes on the weekend", Victor said, shooing Yuuri into the direction of the showers while he himself entered the locker rooms to pack most of their stuff already.
Thinking about their fun times in Ice Castle had brought back a different track of thought as well. One, Victor had tried to shove into the back of his mind and not dwell on too much, but he knew he couldn't postpone it for much longer. Not with the Russian nationals so close.
The step sequence of his Free Program.
While most of the routine was already finished and Victor, being the genius he was, had also memorized each part well enough to perform the program in front of the jurors, but it still lacked the step sequence. Whatever Victor came up with, never felt right. It either didn't fit into the rest of the program or wouldn't push his base score high enough to keep up with Yurio and Yuuri.
It was frustrating really.
Here he was. Two of his three world records broken and yet unable to come up with two routines to take back his title as the world's best figure skater in living memory. Well, racking his brain wouldn't help Victor at this point. He needed to get back to his program at home, where he could sit on his couch and write down the various possibilities he had for his step sequence and go over them again and again, until he found a version he liked well enough to include into the Free Skate.
"Victor? Did you pack everything so far?", Yuuri smiled at him, standing in the doorframe with his hair still wet from the shower, wearing nothing but his black slacks yet. Water trickled down his neck and collarbone, leaving beautiful traces of liquid on soft skin and drawing Victor's gaze to the glistening droplets. He unconsciously licked his lips.
"Victor?"
"Ah, yes I did, zolotse moya, but we need to get your hair dried before we leave", Victor finally answered, after Yuuri's voice roused him from his daydreams of what he could do with his tongue to catch the droplets on the younger man's skin.
The St. Petersburg rink came (thank God!) with a styling area complete with mirrors, hair straightener, blow dryer and everything else you might need to get ready to take the ice. Victor motioned for Yuuri to sit down in a chair in front of him and ran one hand through damp hair, before reaching for the comb and carefully styling his fiancé's black strands with it afterwards.
He always made sure not to hurt Yuuri when he did his hair, which had become kind of a routine since their time in Hasetsu or rather, since the Onsen on Ice event, when no stylists had been present and Victor had insisted on doing Yuuri's hair to make it match his black and silver eros costume.
Ever since, Victor relished in the feeling of Yuuri's hair running through his fingers like silk through water and he loved the contend little noises that would leave Yuuri's lips at Victor's gentle treatment. The gesture had become as intimate to them as love making, bringing them closer each time Victor's hand touched Yuuri's hair.
Warm air filled the room once he switched the blow dryer on, careful not to choose the highest level of temperature as he knew that Yuuri reacted rather sensitive to heat, despite growing up with a family that owned an onsen.
A happy sigh escaped Yuuri's lips and he leaned back against Victor, making the other man's heart do a little jump in his chest at the display of trust. They had gotten together after the Cup of China and it had taken them a while to figure out how to act around each other now that they were more than just coach and student, especially since Yuuri had never been in a relationship before. Such open trust was something to be earnt and not easily granted, which made Victor all the happier. He'd sworn to himself to always cherish Yuuri and make sure he was happy with him in St. Petersburg.
"There, all done", Victor said, putting away the comb and blow dryer, but placing a soft kiss against Yuuri's temple as the younger man turned towards him. "Now, although I enjoy having you half naked, we should get you dressed and go home".
Yuuri blushed slightly, brown eyes darting through the room to make sure that no one was there to overhear their conversation, even if he knew that all the other skaters had left the rink long before them. Even Yurio had gone home already, claiming that he was going to barf if he had to watch Yuuri and Victor for another minute.
"Going home sounds good", Yuuri replied, getting up from his chair. He handed Victor the towel he had brought from the shower, to stuff it into their bag and walked over to where his clothes were still neatly folded and waiting for him in one of the lockers.
Ten minutes later, Yuuri was clad in layers above layers of shirts and sweaters, because Victor had insisted on him to get 'properly dressed', and properly meant well wrapped up in more sweaters than Yuuri knew he possessed to keep the cold at bay. Of course, Yuuri had protested earlier that day, but who could say no to Victor's puppy eyes really? So instead of stripping off some of the layers, he had sighed and accepted his fate.
Grocery shopping wasn't that much different from what Yuuri knew from home. Only the products on display were naturally somewhat different, but that experience wasn't new either. When Yuuri had first come to Detroit it had taken him hours to decide what to buy, especially since his English had not been that proficient at the time and he often had had no idea what he'd just bought.
This time however, he wasn't alone and Victor knew exactly what he wanted to buy, bustling around the shelfs and loading more stuff into Yuuri's arms than anyone could possibly carry, but he somehow managed not to drop everything. So much for 'let's just pick a few things'. Yuuri shook his head and smiled as he followed Victor to the checkout counter, and listened to him talk with the cashier in rapid Russian while loading everything into the bag.
Seeing Victor here in Russia, where he could easily communicate with everyone without the limits of a language barrier, made Yuuri's heart swell with a strange kind of warmth. While Yuuri often kept to himself, Victor was far more outgoing and social. It had probably been quite hard for him, to not be able to talk to people in Japan, not even to Yuuri's parents or sister, although he had picked up some basic Japanese over the course of the months.
"Time to go home, it's starting to snow", Victor announced, once everything was packed. He placed another kiss on Yuuri's hair, making the younger man blush again, but Victor was a sucker for PDA and St. Petersburg Russia's gay capital, so why bother to restrain?
Back at home Victor decided on a quick dinner, claiming they would have time to properly cook on the weekend (and Yuuri seriously started to wonder how much his fiancé was going to fit into two free days). They cleared the table together afterwards and took Makkachin for a walk around the block.
Neither Victor nor Yakov had been lying, with the sun sunk behind the western horizon, the temperatures had fallen tremendously again, leaving Yuuri shivering despite his thick coat and sweaters. He'd never worn that much clothing at once but nonetheless couldn't get warm. Not really at least. There was always a chill clinging to him, creeping under his garments.
The Russian winter certainly left him glad for central heating and Victor's warm condo.
Outside, it had become 'too cold for snow' as Victor put it, and Yuuri immediately disappeared under a thick cover on the sofa, wrapped in the fabric like a living burrito, once they had walked through front door and gotten rid of their shoes. He didn't even switch on the lights. Victor thought it was adorable even if he felt a little sorry for his poor fiancé. He was having a hard time coping with the temperatures and part of Victor wished they could have stayed in Japan.
Not only because of the weather conditions, but also since Yuuri missed his family and friends already. He might try to hide his discomfort at being separated from them again, but Victor knew better. He had to give his all, to make Yuuri feel comfortable in yet another foreign country to live in.
He sat down next to Yuuri on the sofa and tilted his head while looking at him. "Getting warm again?", Victor asked, his voice laced with an affectionate amusement. His fiancé was just too cute, looking like a bundle of fluffy covers with large dark eyes.
"Yeah, a lot actually", Yuuri said, then paused and liked his lips. His gaze darted from Victor's eyes to Makkachin, who curled up on his dog bed next to the sofa with a yawn. "Can… can I ask you something?". The words were low, almost guarded; as if Yuuri wasn't sure how Victor would react once the question was out in the open.
"Of course you can. Everything, my love", Victor replied, feeling a little nervous himself now. What could be so bad that Yuuri wasn't sure if he it was a good idea to voice his question?
"Mila told me you were… stuck on your Free Skate… is that true?"
Well… that wasn't what Victor had expected, but that didn't make it any less true. He was stuck and it shouldn't surprise him that Mila felt the need to talk about it with Yuuri, guessing correctly that Victor hadn't done so yet. Not out of a lack of trust or something. But rather because he knew how much Yuuri blamed himself for keeping Victor from competing so far this season. Telling him that Victor wasn't sure if he could finish his Free Skate in time for the Russian Nationals would only fuel that guilt and increase Yuuri's anxieties.
Victor didn't want that.
"I have to admit, she's not wrong", Victor confessed, taking a clipboard and pencil as well as his phone from the side table. "I already came up with the song and the jumps. And the spins. But…", he took a deep breath, holding Yuuri's questioning gaze. "I'm stuck on my step sequence".
"Can I hear what you chose?", Yuuri asked, leaning forward a little to get closer to Victor. He was now leaning with his chest against Victor's bend legs, the covers around his shoulders tickling at the exposed skin of Victor's ankles where his pants had ridden up.
Victor nodded and unlocked his phone to select the song from among his skating playlist while Yuuri reached for the earbuds attached to the device and plugged them into his ears. He closed his eyes and listened after Victor pressed the 'play' button, his features relaxed and yet focused.
The music was beautiful. Slow and yet with a graceful power, its rhythm flowing in and out in waves like ocean water hits a beach and the tune of the piano as hopeful as the warm sun on your face after a long and dark winter. Yuuri could envision it perfectly; the way Victor's body would move to the soft tones, the song mixing with the sharp sounds of blades cutting through ice after a powerful jump or a swirling spin.
Life. Life was the theme Victor had chosen for his program this year and Yuuri didn't have to be a genius to grasp at why his fiancé had chosen those two very different songs to express what the theme meant to him. They were chosen for him. For Yuuri. The sad, haunted Short Program dedicated to the time before they had known each other and the strong, hopeful Free Skate an homage to their time together. Past and Present melting together in two routines that complimented each other perfectly.
Victor wanted to show his love for Yuuri to the entire world.
The thought alone brought tears to Yuuri's eyes and a joy to his heart that was more than words could ever describe.
He reached for the clipboard, his fingers brushing along Victor's knuckles and even if it was nothing but a small, chaste touch, it was enough to knock the breath out of Yuuri. Overwhelmed with emotion, it didn't take much to throw him off track.
He smiled before looking down at the sheet of paper stuck on the wooden board. It had Victor's neat handwriting all over it but was riddled with abbreviations. Some of them Yuuri understood. Things like 3AL or 4FL - triple Lutz and quad Flip - obviously. Other things however were too abridged for him to decipher and he scrunched up his nose. Yuuri didn't get more than a faint idea of what the program would look like.
He raised his gaze to meet Victor's for a minute then looked back down. It was easy to see where the step sequence was missing, made obvious by the large gap between Victor's last jump before and the hydroblade after what was to be the step sequence.
The last jump was planned be a toe loop, meaning Victor would be going backwards on his right outside edge once he landed. From there he had to transition into his steps.
Yuuri hit the 'replay' button to listen to the song once again. The music made it easy to detect when the steps would begin. And Yuuri could envision it. Could see Victor do the jump and move gracefully into the still missing part of his routine. Yuuri knew what he wanted to see Victor perform. He knew how to translate the feeling of the song and their tender relationship into the motions needed.
Step sequences had always been Yuuri's strong suit.
Looking at the clipboard again, he sat his pencil down, but frowned. Yuuri was a skater, not a choreographer; he had no idea how to translate the movements his mind provided him with into actual language.
"Can I try something?", he asked, handing board and pencil back to Victor, who just nodded and tilted his head looking like a curious puppy.
"Anything you want, zolotse moya", he answered with a nod. So far Yuuri had been nothing but quiet, not betraying what he thought about the song or the program Victor had come up with. It made him a little nervous. But now his fiancé was finally taking action!
Throwing Victor one last glance, Yuuri disentangled himself from the fluffy covers and got off the sofa. He pushed the little coffee table away to create more space in front of the couch, before taking position at the centre of the now empty part of the room.
And without saying a word, he started to dance with Victor's eyes glued to him.
It was perfect. There was no music, no sound whatsoever, only Yuuri, dancing in front of him, toes sinking into the deliciously soft carpet, his movements fluent even off the ice and his eyes sparkling while he tried to show to Victor what his words had lacked to convey, making him hear the melody with his eyes while he watched every small gesture, every delicate step. It was all there on open display; their love unfolding for everyone to see.
A step sequence so breathtakingly beautiful that Victor couldn't tear his eyes away. It was a perfect fit. Every shift of Yuuri's hips was graceful, like silk running smoothly over heated skin. It was pure and yet alluring, drawing the audience in until they clung to is every step, eager for more.
Yuuri obviously didn't need the ice to be the most graceful dancer in the room.
With the fade light of the moon falling through the ground to ceiling windows, illuminating his handsome features, he looked like an ethereal being to Victor. Like light made flesh.
And nothing in the world could stop Victor from discarding the clipboard onto the sofa (not caring that the pencil rolled off a cushion and fell to the ground only to disappear under the sofa), as he got up and joined his fiancé.
There was still no music, but it also wasn't needed. Yuuri was perfectly capable of creating music with his body and Victor could simply join him without having to think about it. Their bodies and movements fell into sync as easily as falling asleep, once Victor had placed one hand on Yuuri's waist and curled his other around the younger man's fingers.
They transitioned from step sequence into pair dance without difficulty, together dancing to a melody that wasn't even there but could be heard all the same.
Makkachin only once raised his head as if to ask his daddies what exactly they were doing, but he quickly went back to dozing, apparently used to their strange behaviour by now.
And Victor… Victor tilted his head a little to look into Yuuri's eyes while they danced across the carpet and by now he felt like drowning in those endless pools of molten chocolate.
With Yuuri, he had not only found a lover, but a partner who completed Victor in every part of his life. On the ice and off. Day and night. In sadness and in joy.
For the first time in years, Victor was truly happy.
"Do you like the sequence?", Yuuri asked, spinning around in Victor's arm as a consequence of a particularly bold move. His cheeks were slightly pink but whether it was from dancing or embarrassment, Victor couldn't tell.
Yuuri always remained so uncertain of his own achievements and talents - it was almost painful to watch. He still underestimated his abilities and questioned his every move.
"More than like, Yuuri. I think it's perfect. Will you let me include it into my Free Skate?", Victor replied, leaning forward a little to bring their faces closer. So close they were almost kissing.
"O… Of course! That's why I came up with it in the first place!", Yuuri exclaimed, his voice somewhat too high but his graceful movements not faltering; not even for a heartbeat.
Victor smiled and placed a loving kiss on Yuuri's forehead. It was just too easy to get the younger man all worked up, but Victor found it too cute to do anything about it. "And will you let me add you as my choreographer?".
The words made Yuuri blink, brows rising in astonishment as he bit his bottom lip. "V- Victor! It's your program! You did the choreography! You can't add me!", he said, shaking his head vigorously.
"Not entirely, no. A very important part of my free skate was choreographed by you and you should take credit for it. I couldn't have come up with those beautiful and yet fitting steps. That was all you. Please Yuuri, let me give you the credit you deserve", he pleaded, blue eyes big and round and so irresistible that they made Yuuri's resolutions crumble every time Victor used the gaze on him.
Yuuri huffed and looked a little deflated. "Okay… add me as your choreographer. But if anyone asks, you make sure to tell them that I only helped with the step sequence and nothing more. I couldn't even tell you how to do it! I had to dance the steps. What lame kind of a choreographer is that?".
"Not a lame one, but a very special one. And above all, my favourite choreographer in the world", Victor retorted, this time leaning in to capture Yuuri's lips in a soft kiss.
They were still moving; their bodies continuing the steps Yuuri had begun and the moon was still their only source of light in the room. It was peaceful, like a late night practice in Ice Castle.
Just the two of them, perfectly moving in sync while their lips danced across each other in a slow rhythm.
"You are impossible, Victor Nikiforov", said Yuuri, his voice kind and fond, before fusing their lips back together.
Victor couldn't wish for a better start for his comeback.
Thanks for reading! I'm already working on the next update! Btw the injury Yuuri describes in the beginning? It's something that happens to me all the time when I train during the winter season XD My right leg is more stable and I tend to put all my weight on it until my coach scolds me for it ^/^ If you wonder why Victor got stuck on the step sequence, there will be more explanation in the chapters to come hihi. Nobody is perfect, eh?
So, please tell me what you think of this chapter! And if you have any questions or things you want to tell me, just come and find me on tumblr - kiharisdream ^-^ Love you all!
PS: If you want to listen to the music for the Free Skate, just look for 'Wind beneath my Wings instrumental' on YouTube!