I wake up in my bed. I'm wearing nothing but my underwear and my head is pounding and fuzzy. Because of this, it takes me a while to remember what happened. The last thing I remember is screaming until Verdandi and some guy in white burst in. I remember feeling a prick in my arm, and then I must have blacked out.
My hands absently reach for the spot where I felt the prick. It's very tender and I can feel a slight lump beneath my skin. Groggily, I turn my head to look at my shoulder. There is some sort of lump, just as I thought, but nothing else. Some sort of chip? I wonder.
Thinking makes my head swim so I lay back on the bed and stare at the fancy lamp fixtures until there's only one above me. Slowly, I try sitting up. My vision swims again and I can feel darkness tugging at the corners of my vision. As soon as the vertigo passes, I try standing. My legs are rubbery and threaten to crumple beneath me, but I grab the bedside table for support. I have to wait for the vertigo to pass again, before trying to walk to the bathroom by leaning on furniture.
I do make it eventually. I slowly peel off my underwear and step delicately into the shower. Then I did what Hersh instructed me to do the first time I got knocked out cold, I set the water to be as cold as possible. It does exactly as I hoped; it wakes me up fully, bringing my senses into sharp focus. I gasp from the icy blast and before long I'm shivering uncontrollably so I turn the water up to a normal temperature. This time I use a simple lemon shampoo, it's the least strong scent of all the shampoo choices.
By the time I emerge from my shower, I feel fully aware and rejuvenated. I don't bother with fancy clothes; I just throw on the first thing I find: jean shorts, a green tank top and sneakers.
I try my door handle, and to my relief, I find it unlocked. Exiting my room, I follow my nose into the dining room. The décor is beautiful and outlandish but I barely give it a second glance, heading straight to the breakfast buffet. I was out all night and consequently, I missed dinner so I'm starved.
I'm just sitting down to a huge plate of French toast and bacon when Leo enters. Shock and worry fight in his eyes, but his face settles on worry, crinkling his nose and eyebrows. His face reminds me of my last visit with Ian and I want to start crying again but somehow I stay calm, relaxed even.
"I'm so glad you're okay! Verdandi said they had to sedate you!" Leo cried, rushing over to give me a big hug. I tense up in surprise, causing Leo to flinch and release me. He looks somewhere between reproachful and embarrassed. "sorry." He mutters.
"No need. You just surprised me; that's all." I say. He takes that as a cue to fetch a plate of donuts and glass of milk, before sitting down next to me.
"So…what happened? I mean…I heard the screaming; but…?" Leo asked, taking a huge bite out of a jelly donut. The jelly squirts out onto his face and there's icing on his nose, making him look like some sort of clown.
I let out a laugh, but I calm down before the hysterics can start. Maybe it's the sedative? I wonder. I've never felt so calm before so it must be. Leo gives me a questioning look so I point at the donut. When he still doesn't get it, I say, "Those donut guts on your face look ridiculous."
"Oh." Leo gasps, wiping off the jelly and icing.
"Anyway," I continue, "I was just missing home and my family and all, and the parade just reminded me of the Games and how many tributes there are and, I don't know; it just got to me I guess." I say. I know I'm babbling but the truth is, I'm not really sure anymore. Nothing seems like it should upset me that much anymore. Or maybe that's the sedative talking.
"Oh, okay, yeah; I can totally understand. I just figured you'd be the last person to crack under pressure." Leo said, the worry melting from his face.
"In hindsight, I probably should have screamed into a pillow or something; I didn't need to be sedated though." I say, finishing up my plate and going for seconds. Leo and I don't talk after that, we just eat in silence. I'm on my third plate, and Leo has switched to fresh fruit by the time our mentors enter.
"I'm so glad you're okay honey!" Belinda says, giving me a pat on the cheek. The worry is starting to annoy me, and the pat on the cheek feels demeaning.
"I'm fine! Why don't you people understand that!? I just needed to get some emotions out! Last I checked, screaming wasn't a crime so why'd Verdandi sedate me? He didn't even ask; he just got some guy to jab me with a needle!" I shout, standing so fast I knock over my chair. Belinda looks shocked at my outburst, but Gorath seems to take it in stride.
Suddenly I can't stand Belinda. Just because she's a Victor doesn't give her, or anybody else, the right to patronize me. I grab a plate of rolls and stomp off to my room to eat them. I can hear whispering coming from the dining room until I close my door behind me. I would have slammed the door if I wasn't so damn calm! It infuriated me that even my emotions weren't my own. Yet even while it infuriated me, I felt so peacefully calm and serene.
I'm sitting on my bed, facing away from the door as I eat. Consequently, I can't see who comes in. Whoever it is doesn't say a word, or even sit down, they just stand quietly behind me until the curiosity gets the better of me. "What?" I growl, tearing savagely at a roll. I want to cry, but I'm not sure I can anymore.
"It's good to let your emotions out now. It plays up the princess angle, and the more you release now, the less it will hurt in the arena." The voice says. Gorath! I should have known!
"So, you're not upset?" I ask, turning to look at him. His face looks contemplating and appraising. He's leaning against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest in his standard posture.
"Honestly? I balled like a baby my first few nights; not publicly, but still. I think that's what saved me from breaking down like my district partner and my ally from District 7 during the games." Gorath says. Translation: don't bottle it up, let it out now. Well, thank you Dr. Psychiatrist!
"Um…thanks?" I say because I'm not sure what to say to a confession like that.
"Do you remember my games?" Gorath asks. I do, but barely, since I was only five, all I remember is a lot of blood. I shake my head so he continues, "Let me put it this way; After killing three people, my district partner got real depressed and killed herself during the night. The ally from District 7 went crazy and broke down in hysterics six days into the games; I had to kill him or risk being caught by the Careers. Another girl, District 5 I think, curled up in tears and didn't even try to defend herself when she realized she was going to die without seeing her family cause she hadn't bothered to think about the possibility before that. I was labeled brutal because I killed tributes who were blubbering for their mommies; no one realized how hard it was for me, just because I didn't cry on T.V.!"
I don't know what to say, and for once, I'm totally speechless. I never thought about how other people were thinking. I just sit there, starring at him until he speaks again. "Don't ever be ashamed of being upset. Even the Careers are upset, though they don't like to show it. It's not a matter of if you cry or breakdown, it's when and how bad."
"So I should blubber through training?" I ask.
"Only if you really are upset; fake tears won't cut it, and you don't want to overdo it." Gorath says.
"So how should I pull off the innocent princess thing?" I ask, "Do stuff I'm bad at?"
"That wouldn't hurt. But for the record, what are you good at?" Gorath asks, giving me that appraising stare again.
"Hand to hand combat. I'm fast and strong." I say, almost automatically.
"You a gladiator?" Gorath asks. He asks it off-handedly, but it still catches me by surprise.
"Yeah; how'd you know?" I say once I find my voice, my heart pounding slightly.
"You seem like the type." Gorath shrugs.
"So you never saw me fight?" I ask, surprised.
"I've seen more than my share of high stakes fighting, I don't need to pay to see more." Gorath snorts.
"Yeah, I guess you would have; competing and mentoring every year." I sigh, blinking in sympathy.
Gorath shakes his head a little, as if to clear it. "You any good at ranged weapons? Or survival?" he asks. I shake my head no. We don't use weapons in the ring back home, and I've never been desperate enough to risk scavenging for food in the fields. "Then work on those. Learn edible plants, snares, fire, and shelter building for sure. I want you to work on knife throwing as well since knives will also be perfect for hand to hand combat. Don't ignore the other weapons, just in case that's all you get. The other kids will be suspicious if you don't use weapons, just ignore the ugly ones like whips and maces. Also, ignore the hand to hand combat station; you don't want to reveal your strengths until your private training."
"Is that all?" I laugh.
"Just be glad I'm giving you instruction. I know plenty of other mentors that wouldn't bother." Gorath mock-growls.
By now I've finished my rolls and the clock claims I have five minutes to get down to the training gym. Gorath walks with me as far as the elevator doors. "You know what you're supposed to do?" Gorath quizzes me, leaning against the elevator door to keep it from closing.
"Master edible plants, snares, fire, shelter, and throwing knives; experiment with a few other weapons; no whips or clubs, and save hand to hand combat for private session." I rattle off quickly.
"And act like a sweet little princess." Gorath says, pressing the training gym button and stepping back. The doors close with a swoosh and a ding before the elevator drops so fast it feels like the floor just dropped out beneath my feet. I don't even have time to review my instructions before the elevator stops and the doors open with another swoosh and ding.
I let my jaw drop as I stare at the huge training gym before me. It's about five times the size of the fighting arena back home. It might even be the biggest room I've ever been in, including the time I got lost in the stables where dad worked when I was eight. Despite the size, every inch of the gym has some sort of functional use. All the weapons and targets line the wall, probably to avoid any 'accidents', while the end opposite of me is dedicated to the most complex obstacle course I've ever seen, including a rock-climbing wall. The center of the room holds the survival stations as well as a boxing ring and a swimming pool. There's a track around the center stations to practice running. Even the ceiling is covered with a ropes course; an extension of the obstacle course area. Man, the Capitol doesn't mess around. I think in awe, before remembering that all of this is to practice killing other kids.
I force myself to walk toward the other tributes, thankful that I'm not the last to arrive, although Leo is already there, whispering to the District 8 tributes. I quickly assess them again while a trainer pins the number ten to the back of my shirt. The boy is on the taller side, under only some of the Careers and the District 6 girl, yet he's very lanky. The girl is far from petite, but definitely on the smaller side of the tribute pool, save for me and the 12 year olds. If I remember right, they're Hayden, 17, and Nía, 13. Just as I walk up, the District 5 tributes arrive and Atala, the tall, athletic head trainer, starts to address us.
Everyone falls silent as she explains the rules to us. We can't fight with other tributes (no duh! I think) so there are experts at every station to teach us and assistants to spar with us if we wish. She then goes on to list all of the Survival and Weapons stations. I locate each one visually as she names them, compiling a list. Atala ends with a final warning, "While weapons are important, more tributes die directly or indirectly from exposure and not knowing what to eat and watch out for; keep this in mind as you train." She then releases us.
"So, you're Diana?" Nía asks, smiling and extending a friendly hand.
I force a brilliant smile and take her hand, "And you're Nía right?" I ask.
She nods and introduces her District partner as Hayden; so I remembered correctly. "We gonna just stand here all day yapping or actually practice life saving skills?" Hayden asks then.
"I don't know. Belinda didn't give us any specific instructions. What do you think?" Leo asks, turning to me.
Nía and Hayden both look at me as well. Suddenly the pressure's on me to decide. "Um, how bout we tackle that warning about survival and exposure and stuff?"
"Fair enough. How 'bout you go to the edible plants station, I go to shelter building and camouflage, Nía goes to knots and snares, and Leo goes to fire building. We can work on each for, say, a half hour and then rotate? That way we don't have to wait but we all learn the most important skills?" Hayden suggests.
"I'm guessing this means we're allies?" Leo asks.
"Totally!" Nía squeals, taking his arm and flouncing off to their 'assigned' stations.
"You don't mind right? Me giving out orders like that?" Hayden asks nervously, catching me appraising him.
"Not at all! I couldn't have suggested better!" I say as we walk to our stations. I leave him at shelter and camouflage before continuing on to edible plants. Luckily for us, no one else seemed to take up Atala's suggestion of working on survival skills. Districts 5 and 6 were trying out the obstacle course while everyone else started to feebly learn how to wield new and unfamiliar weapons.
I take a quick look around. The girl from District 6, Enya-18, looks like a lumbering bear as she tries to squeeze through the obstacle course; and is clearly being shown up by her district partner, Greg-15. The District 5 kids are helping each other, just like I expected, so they must be friends. I wince as the District 3 boy almost impales his own foot with a sword while his District partner listens to the trainer attentively. Almost as if her life depended on it. But it won't help. The Careers are all wielding familiar weapons with enough force and precision to make anyone shudder – damn Careers! At least they're using the scary looking stations I was advised to avoid. Aside from the Careers, no one stands out immediately, so I turn to the task at hand.
I spend the morning perfecting all the skills we'd agreed upon. By the time lunch rolled around, I could name and recognize every edible, poisonous, and medicinal plant by heart through sheer force of study. I also learned how to start a fire with matches, flint, and with a simple drill and fireboard. I worked on how to find or make a shelter, and how to camouflage such shelter which is just as important. Lastly, I worked on a few simple snares for food, not people. By the time I finally mastered my third snare, the bell rang for lunch.
The cafeteria was another, smaller, room off of the main gym. There were a couple of buffet lines and more than a dozen tables. I ended up just behind the Careers while waiting to serve myself, and end up having to listen to the District 2 boy, Daemon, brag about how he could eviscerate a tribute in ten different ways. Luckily, I have a strong stomach so my appetite isn't completely gone by the time I'm able to serve myself.
I wait for Leo and Nía before sitting at a table. Hayden joins us before long. We spend the hour discussing what we've learned and whose best at what. I downplay my edible plants skill, but I don't bother to pretend about anything else. We establish that Hayden is best at fire building, and Nía has a natural memory for plants. In actuality, my forced study probably made me equal to her, but I still want to watch out for her. She could 'accidently' poison one of us. Leo isn't that good at anything, and I don't think he's downplaying at all. He did the worst at edible plants, he can't start a fire without matches or flint, He can build and find shelter, but he can't camouflage very well, and he spent most of his snare learning time trying to get out of a snare that wrapped around his ankle.
"So, what should we work on this afternoon?" I ask after refilling my plate.
"Weapons." Hayden says. We just stare at him until he explains, "We'll need to protect ourselves."
"He's right, why don't we split up and work on whatever weapon each of us thinks will work best for them." I suggest.
"Okay, but I'm no good at fighting." Nía mumbles.
"Nonsense!" I say. She gives me a doubtful look but I persist, "You may be small but you're fast right? Maybe work on a blade and then try the obstacle course. If you can move fast, you can either strike or get away before the other person."
"Maybe." She says, but I can tell she doesn't believe it for a minute.
"What about you?" Leo asks.
"Not sure, I might try archery or swords; maybe throw a spear? I'll have to try different things." I say nonchalantly, "How 'bout you?"
"I'm gonna train on spears I think." Leo says, smiling grimly.
"Spears huh? Never would have guessed. You sure you can heft one high enough to throw it?" Hayden asks. I can tell it's not meant to be an insult; he's genuinely concerned.
"I'll have to practice that, but I was thinking that would be best for a close range weapon for me. See, back home, I'm a shepherd so I have to protect the sheep from coyotes – wild dogs – with my walking stick. I figured the long handle on a spear would be similar." Leo explains sheepishly.
"Woah! You fight wild dogs?!" Nía gasps.
"It's my job. If I don't, they'll kill the sheep. Never really thought of it as training, though." Leo says, shrugging it off. I guess I never thought of my gladiator fighting as training for the Hunger Games either. I bet Jonathon did though; he was always far-sighted like that.
"And you, Hayden?" I ask.
"Not sure. I'd like to learn archery and sword fighting, but if I'm no good at that, I'll have to try something else." Hayden says, shrugging.
"Okay, well let's just try out possible weapons today and see if we can each find something we're good at. Then we can focus on those tomorrow." I say. Everyone agrees to that plan.
"You don't mind right? Me giving out orders like that?" I whisper cheekily to Hayden as we're dismissed from lunch. He just smiles at me before going over to the archery range to practice. I smirk at his receding back before heading to the sword station.
I soon realize, that while my footwork is good, and my speed and posture are okay, I feel unbalanced holding a sword. I thank the trainer for the lesson before joining Leo at the spear throwing station. Surprisingly, I'm not too shabby at it. It takes me a while to learn the posture and technique, but I'm able to hold the spear steady and throw it hard enough so that after an hour, I'm hitting the center of the dummy's chest about 70% of the time. I'm doing better than Leo because I'm stronger and can throw the spear better.
I watch Leo spar with a trainer at close quarters with blunt sticks. He wasn't kidding when he said he was good with a stick up close. Seeing his miserable attempts to throw the spear makes me doubt if he'll do well though since a bigger tribute could easily overpower him or hit him long-range.
Speaking of long-range, I wander over to the archery station. I listen to the trainer carefully as he explains posture and sighting down the arrow, but when I try, I fail. Unlike Hayden, I'm having immense trouble pulling back the tight bowstring, and it's even harder for me to aim. The girl from District 1, Jasmine, is effortlessly destroying the dummies with well placed arrows to the head and chest; she even looks bored! Hayden can't pull back the string quite as powerfully as she can, but he can get it all the way back to his cheek, and all of his arrows are hitting well within the target, even if he isn't getting bulls-eyes like Jasmine.
By the time we're dismissed, my right forearm is raw from being whacked by the bowstring every time I released an arrow. My leather cuff would have been useful in protecting from that, but I still haven't gotten it back yet. I think I'll leave the archery to Hayden and work on knives tomorrow.
Belinda needs only to ask if anything good happened during training before Leo goes off about making friends with the Tributes from District 8. Gorath gives me a look that says 'you okay with this?' and I shrug before digging into the food. Tonight I only manage two bowls of soup, two plates of regular food, and one dessert before I'm too full to eat. It must be all this rich food. I'm not as hungry as I used to be.
That night I sleep like a log due to my long day of training.