Author's Note: Thank you for all the reviews (to the anonymous reviewer: I don't think I'll go as far as a foursome, don't be worried).

Chapter Twelve

"Have you thought about Maura?"

The question took Jane out of her daydream. She looked up at her mother but remained quiet. Maura had been haunting her mind since the evening they had spent together at the swinger party. A week had passed by since then, a week made of sexual encounters and delicate smiles. A week made of doubts.

They had started their friendship with benefits anew. Just as expected, they hadn't managed to keep their distance nor to lie to themselves any longer. Mateo and Finn were still in the picture though. To an extent.

But Jane and Maura slept together again and they didn't want to stop any time soon.

"What do you mean?"

Jane could hardly believed that she had dared to do what she had done at the party. Of course nobody but Maura had touched her which reduced her boldness to a mere nothing but it was still big and completely out of character for her.

She felt a bit ashamed of it. The truth was that she had been unable to resist. The moment Maura had kissed her, Jane had known that she wouldn't be able to count on her will because it had vanished in the air. She had missed Maura too much to push her away at this exact moment. A kiss would have never been enough to satisfy her lustful desires.

She would probably not do it again anyway. It was just a once in a lifetime thing that she could scratch off her so-called bucket list.

"Well... Her birthday is coming, Jane! Has she told you anything about it? What does she want? I suppose she'll invite Finn. Maybe you'd call Mateo too. You said you'd do it once the case's over so you're free now, aren't you?"

Jane clenched her teeth as a wave of anger passed underneath her skin. The Marguerite Duras case hadn't been solved. She had been asked to simply move on. They couldn't afford to spend more time on a case without having a lead.

"Hmm."

"Oh, Jane." Angela felt the despair in her daughter's bare reply. She squeezed Jane's hand and gave her a comforting smile. "It was a tough case."

"There aren't tough cases, ma'. Only average detectives."

And Jane hated it. Not being able to solve a case made her mad. Not only did she feel ashamed because she hadn't been able to avenge the victim but it also gave a very poor image of the BPD to the public. She knew that she couldn't solve all the crime investigations Boston had but it didn't change anything to the fact she found it immensely frustrating.

"Don't say that. You're an excellent detective. I hate admitting it but it's the truth. Don't even dare to think differently." Angela picked an olive from a cup. She chewed on it absentmindedly. "Now back to Maura's birthday. Do you know what kind of present she wants?"

"Why should I know about it?"

Jane looked into her mother's eyes. She wondered if her mother had any idea of what had happened at the swinger party. Jane wasn't the kind of person who attended such peculiar events. Nobody imagined her having sex in the middle of an anonymous crowd.

Maura had told her that politicians and influent people were among the guests, which explained the luxury of the whole thing. It didn't match who Jane was but even retrospectively she had to admit that the party hadn't been creepy.

It had been odd, and appealing.

"She's your best friend, Jane! That's why you should know about it. You and Maura are always together. Don't you wonder why so many people think you're a couple?"

"Nobody thinks we're a couple, ma'. This isn't true." It was true but Jane didn't want to accept it. She wasn't ready for it, not just now. For the moment she enjoyed the anonymity of her encounters with Maura and the fact it was nobody else's business. "We're friends. As for her birthday... I don't know. She can buy herself anything."

Anything but love, and friendship. The fact Maura had a lot of money had ceased to be an issue for Jane. They may not belong to the same social class, Jane knew that the difference didn't weigh in the balance. They were fine with it.

Maura didn't need anything but emotions that weren't sold in any boutique.

"Perhaps the two of you could go somewhere out of town. You know, for a couple of days. You're not working on a case anymore and we're in full summer."

"Where do you want us to go?"

Jane was aware of her grumpy mood but she completely assumed it. Her mother's suggestion wasn't such a bad idea but Jane wasn't sure that making such plans was what she and Maura needed. Besides, Lucy was still in Boston so Maura couldn't leave.

And then there was Finn, and Mateo. Or at least in theory.

"I don't know... Maybe a cute little town on the coast! How about Provincetown?"

...

What do you want for your birthday?

J.

One of the reasons why Jane hated birthdays was because she wasn't a creative person. She sucked at buying presents. Her brain turned blank by then and she always ended up going for the lamest plan. Lying in bed, she stared at the dark screen of her cell phone waiting for Maura's reply. Her friend had gone out for dinner, with Lucy. But at this hour of the night, Jane assumed that both women were now back to Beacon Hill.

She and Maura talked a lot since they had resumed their secret sessions. They often shared their thoughts, the plans they had out of work. Jane didn't know what to think about it. Sometimes it sounded too close to a real, romantic relationship. She let Maura know what she did and Maura did the same in return. Even if it included Finn.

At least a dinner out with Lucy didn't annoy Jane. Things would have been different if Maura had told her that she was going on a date.

You. I want you.

M.

Maura's reply made Jane smile. She liked it a lot when Maura was direct with her. She found it to be cute and arousing. The authority Maura often showed in bed was sweet and comforting. It was something Jane had never experienced with anyone else.

It was one of these details that made it all so important in the end.

You can have me any day, this isn't a gift.

J.

Jane's heart tightened as she realized that she would have to delete the conversation once they would be done. She always did, just in case. She didn't want anyone to accidentally find the text messages. Maura did the same which brought an ephemeral sensation to something that seemed too strong to disappear within a second. Jane swallowed hard. It was part of the game.

I didn't have you today, though.

M.

Touché. Jane had been busy at work. Then she had had dinner with her mother while Maura had left the morgue to meet with Lucy. They didn't have to have sex every day anyway. As much as they didn't want to accept it, the situation was very clear: their relationship had ceased to be purely sexual a long time ago already. It went beyond orgasms and kisses.

It was not as impersonal as it should have been.

You can have me in your dreams. If you close your eyes and slide a hand between your legs. You can have me any time. Really.

J.

Sexting was something new for Jane. As a matter of fact, she had had many first times with Maura. All of them had turned out to be positive, one way or another. Jane didn't regret any of them. She was simply still surprised to realize how bold Maura made her feel at times.

That already happened in the shower. But it's not the same when I open my eyes anew and realize that you aren't here with me.

M.

Jane's back arched as a shiver ran down her spine. She could hardly believe that a mere sentence was able to stir up such sensations in her body. She tried to picture Maura out, in her shower. Her body tense under the waves of her orgasm.

I'll be here next time. There are some things I don't want to miss. In the meantime, you still have your dreams.

J.

Jane had spent the last hour fantasizing about another kind of reality. She had tried to imagine what it would be like to be in a relationship with Maura. To hold her hand in public, to not feel the urge to hide. Sadly the image of this parallel world had remained blurry. It was so far from what she and Maura were having now that Jane couldn't see it happening.

You're always in my dreams. You've always been.

M.

This. Jane swallowed hard. Maura's words had an effect on her heart that she could barely describe. Yet she knew that whatever she was feeling wasn't supposed to happen. Not when you were friends with benefits.

Jane waited for long seconds before typing a reply. The night was hot, and humid. She wouldn't sleep with well. She had taken a shower ten minutes earlier but she was already sweating again. She hated it. She grabbed a bottle of water from her bedside table and took a sip of it. She hadn't sent her text message yet. The words looked bright on the small screen. Too bright. Terribly sincere.

Promise me it won't change. Promise me I'll always be part of your dreams. Please.

J.

She hit the 'send' button with a shaking hand. It was the first time that she asked Maura something so personal. It may be symbolical only, it was still important to Jane. Too important maybe.

Maura replied almost immediately.

It's a promise I made to myself the first time we got to meet.

M.