Memories

Dreams of Nightmares

Disclaimer: I don't own the X-Men or any of their characters. Tora and Weapon X-ii are my own though.

The court case was all over the news. A gross violation of human rights. Torture and government funding turning a tiny child into a living weapon. Senator Kelly was facing severe punishment. His career was ruined at any rate. Footage was being shown. For many of the X-Men, it was the first true idea of her suffering. The one the press seemed to enjoy showing was of a girl being shocked again and again by an electric collar and crying and being told that she shouldn't cry. It was hard to believe it was Tora but when you looked closer you realized it had to be her. No one else had those golden eyes or streaked hair. Another one showed her sitting still as dogs mauled her. It was cut halfway through for some reason. The one that had been shown once showed her with her claws under a man's throat then backing off, offering him her hand. That was Tora through and through. They did show a few of her darker moments to gain extra pity. Her running her claws across her arms. Howling like an animal in the darkness. One had shown her raising her claws to her throat for a second then dropping them. Another showed her being beaten and just looking at her oppressers with no feeling whatsoever in her eyes.

Ororo turned off the TV in disgust. It was hard enough for most people but when it was your best friend who had been killed two weeks ago, it was agony. The sight of empty eyes staring at her tormentors was enough to scare most people senseless. She looked over at the others. Scott and Jean were looking disgusted, Kurt was murmuring under his breath, Piotr was sitting deathly still. Rogue was shuddering in the corner and Hank, Bobby and Warren were deathly pale. Logan was looking into the distance with dead eyes. Ice-blue eyes that had not one spark of fire and steel so often there. Etana was leaning on the wall, her face blank. She had taken to disappearing for most of the time and Storm guessed it was just loyalty to Logan that kept her there. She had been close to Tora. Storm had heard her crying in the night. You wouldn't normally be able to hear that but Storm had been wind-riding past her open window. And seen Etana drive a sword into a dummy and scream. Which meant she was hiding behind her silver eyes that were unreadable. Kurt's yellowish-gold eyes were always open to see humour, sadness or friendship but Etana's eyes rarely showed emotion. It was a part of her, the quiet indifference that suggested that she couldn't care about the normal people whose lives were so short. Logan, whose life-span was longer than a normal person, Tora, who should have had a extended life, Fury, who had some sort of potion to keep him alive and Cap, who was about 90 were the few people she seemed to see as equals. Everyone else lived in a flash compared to her. Even the people she seemed close to were much younger than her. But according to Charles, Etana had once been more open with her friendships. And she'd watched her friends die. So it was hard to blame her for being distant. And Tora had said something about Etana thinking she was going to die soon.

The TV was turned back on in time to see Jennifer Walters trying to get Senator Kelly to appear in court. Something about hiding behind his position in government to pursue his feud with mutants. They seemed to have stopped showing the video clips. Tired, upset and fed up of strangers picking her best friend's life apart, Storm got up to go to bed. She heard Logan follow shortly after and definitely heard him stop outside the room he had shared. Then he walked the short distance to his old room and Storm knew he'd soon start the nightmares again. Only this time she could understand the words he screamed. Before they had been pleading or begging for release or else screaming names of women. 'Silver-Fox, Itsu, Mariko.' Now one name was all that was screamed. Over and over again as her death replayed in his dreams. Jean had tried to access his mind and she'd collapsed. Apparently he'd forced her out again. Storm sighed. She was going to wind-ride again tonight, just so she didn't have to hear the screams. Logan wouldn't let anyone near his mind to try and sort out his agony.

Phoenix didn't even bother to look at her companion as the waters swirled again. She was surly, disagreeable and hurting badly. It was funny that the one thing the healer of the universe couldn't heal was herself. She had definitely taken the whole 'end of the universe' thing pretty badly. Worse than she let on at any rate. But if it was that bad, why hadn't she fought harder?

He turned in the forest clearing and she was there. Golden eyes full of love and reddish-orange hair catching in the wind. Logan held her close, kissed her and couldn't believe that she was back. But Jean had returned, so why not Tora as well? For a few minutes he thought everything was perfect. Then she started crying.

"Why couldn't you save me?"

He looked at her in horror as a faceless figure stepped up behind her and raised a knife. Strong hands held him back as Tora was stabbed once and melted away before him. The arms let him go and he turned to see Etana.

"The time-stream must be kept on course."

Then Etana faded into a dragon who roared and lunged at him, tearing away, breaking through adamantium and holding his heart aloft triumphantly.

"Mine!"

Logan woke, covered in sweat. He reached out, hoping that she'd be there. Nothing. She was dead and lying cold in the grounds of the mansion. If she had been there, her arms would have been around him. She had always used him as some sort of teddy bear. He stuffed his face into the pillow in a vain hope no one would hear the crying. He couldn't stop. He'd even taken to using the shampoo that she had. This death was affecting him worst than most. He wasn't certain what it was. Maybe it was the faint hope that she would be able to survive everything the world threw at her. And it wasn't how he thought she would die. He had thought deep down they'd go out together, fighting against Magneto or some other megalomaniac. Not having her die in his arms from a sniper that he wasn't able to track. He'd tried and failed. Whoever it was had rigged a bottle of ethanol to drop after they left. The harsh scent had caused him to gag and he couldn't find the scent of the sniper.

His fingers caught on the chain around his neck where the soul band hung. He'd known because of it. Felt the tiny buzzing that meant she was there fade away. It had become a part of him, that little tugging sensation that told him where she was. Hank had checked them and they appeared to be some sort of DNA sensitive tech that had him all excited. Apparently it was far beyond even Richards' newest innovations. Tora had quietly pointed out it was a gift. Maybe Etana would agree to have them dissected, until then they were remaining with them. Hank had tried to date them but the machine had exploded. He had said that would only happen if the rings were older than the universe. Tora had snorted and then said they'd ask Etana later. Everyone had forgotten in the aftermath of her death.

He couldn't sleep so he got dressed, preparing for a nighttime walk to the grave to talk to her. He couldn't go in daylight. Everyone else would be there. Night was a time to be alone with her. He was about to open the door when he heard soft steps walk past his door. Etana. What was she doing up at this time? He decided to follow her. He still didn't fully trust her. Especially not since the funeral. He opened the door silently and watched her walk on by. She was wearing a long coat that hid her wings and tail and a hood covered her inhuman silver hair and dark face. He could smell the old leather and guessed that Etana had that coat made sometime in the 1800s. The care she must have put in to stop it from wearing suggested it was a favourite. He followed her silently and carefully as she left the mansion grounds and walked through Westchester. Finally she came to a warehouse which she entered through the front door. Logan followed and found it was almost entirely empty. He hid in the shadows, knowing Etana wouldn't be looking there. She seemed focused on a spot in the centre of the huge room.

"My Lady."

A soft, musical voice that sounded vaguely familiar echoed around the room.

"Dispense with the My Lady nonsense Etana."

A wave of water swirled and a figure cloaked in what looked like ice that flowed and swung like cloth appeared.

"Would Master suffice?"

"If you feel that is appropriate, then yes. But do not call my human Master before I become this. Which you will miss. I am sorry Etana. I wish there was another way."

Etana nodded slightly.

"I understand. But with your power. Can I have one gift?"

"You may have more than one, as you know."

"The other me's. The other realities. Do I ever gain peace?"

He sensed a smile.

"Yes. In some, you do not die and he still loves you. In others, he survives the fighting and comes back for you like he promised. In all those worlds, you live happily and finally age."

He saw the slight change in stance that meant she was pleased. He wondered who this 'he' was. It must have been someone special to make Etana speak so softly.

"You still love him?"

"More than I thought possible. He tried to kiss me again when we last alone together. I was rather hurtful. But I don't want him hurt. I have less than a year."

The cloaked figure nodded. Logan couldn't get a scent to pin down. She…it was definitely she… smelt of the sea and rivers and rain. But not of life. It was like it was a façade, a fake. It smelt a bit like the Phoenix Force. The fire that wasn't fire. The life that wasn't life. Etana had bowed her head as an arm reached out and brushed her forehead. Then a flash of silver and a mark burned on the air above her forehead. A dragon, roaring to the sky. Wings outstretched. Serpentine body twisting. Then it faded, plunging them into darkness. Etana looked back up.

"Thank you."

"The time of rebirth nears. When Hunter comes, you must sponsor her entry to the X-Men."

"I understand."

"She knows you know. She saw you at the funeral."

"I needed her to know she wasn't alone."

"It is appreciated. And keep an eye on Logan for me. I don't want him dying in the six months before he gets a reason to live again."

"I thought he didn't die for centuries."

"There is always a slight chance for change. I'd rather it didn't happen. I'm behind schedule as it is."

"Agreed."

"You better go. A certain man is determined to get your feelings out in the open."

"He knows why I don't let him see how I feel about him."

"He can see how you feel. He wants you to act on them."

"Not going to happen. I won't hurt him more than I already have."

"Maybe you are hurting him by refusing to love him."

Etana slumped slightly.

"I try to refuse, try to tell myself I'm not in love. It hurts so much. But I…"

She didn't seem able to finish.

"I'll go. Discus-Boy will want to talk."

"Give him my regards. On second thought, don't. I'm supposed to be dead. He won't take it well."

"Supposed to be dead now or now?"

"Well both actually. You know about now for you. For me, I committed suicide. Again. Things got a little out of control."

"As they always do."

"Goodbye Etana."

"Goodbye Master."

Etana teleported away. Then the figure turned towards Logan.

"I know you are there."

He didn't see a reason to hide anymore. This being wasn't human, he wasn't going to hurt it. He leapt, claws out and tugged at the ice hood that fell away. Revealing a familiar face composed of water. He staggered backwards as the Tora that shimmered in the half-light looked at him. He could see ripples in the water, had felt his claws go right through her head. A drip pooled from the icy eye and somehow slid over the rest of the water like it was solid.

"Sorry. So sorry…"

Then the face dissolved as it changed to become a dragon.

"I take a form that means much to me. Tora is precious."

"Was precious you mean!"

All consuming rage enveloped him. How dare this thing take her face? How dare it look him in the eye and say empty words? This mockery of life hide behind those scars and asymmetrical face that he loved. He slammed his fist into the water and the thing shattered, droplets of water falling to the floor. He heard another whispered 'Sorry' before there was only the sound of him panting and the warehouse creaking. He left, determined to confront Etana in the morning about this. And about this 'Discus-Boy' she seemed fond of. He wanted to know who was good enough to make a 3000-year-old celibate act like a nervous teenager. But first he was going back to the grave. He had a lot to tell Tora.

Jean glowered at her companion.

"That isn't a part of this time-stream."

"Everything is about her and her time-stream. She is the link. The thread that ties the rest together."