Memories

Swansong of an Angel

Disclaimer: I don't own the X-Men or any of their characters. Tora and Weapon X-ii are my own though.

Tora could see Etana standing in the early morning sunlight. Her once glossy black wings were extended to dry but that just served to highlight the raggedness of them. Her hair, which had been silky silver was now dull grey. Her fur was patchy. She knew Etana was dying. Etana knew she was dying. But everyone else was saying that she'd survive, that there would be a cure. It would almost certainly be too late for her. 3000 years of history was about to lose one of it's driving forces.

"Etana?"

"Tora."

"I brought a coffee.

A shaking hand reached out, missed the cup and hit against the tray. She rarely allowed the truth of her weakness to show. Tora and Tora alone knew how weak the Legacy Virus was leaving her.

"I won't make it to August Tora."

August. When the baby was due. All Etana wanted was to see the baby.

"You will last to August, even if we have to drag your bed next to mine."

Etana just smiled wistfully. She wasn't in pain yet but she was weak.

"I'm a dead woman walking Tora. You know that, I know that. Everybody knows it."

"You'll survive Etana. You have to."

She managed to look even sadder. She managed to pick up the cup and drank slowly, savouring the taste. Her sight had almost completely deserted her. Her hearing was going. She could no longer tell you by your step. Her breathing was slow and shallow. A virus was managing to do what countless others had tried and failed to do. Kill the Fallen Angel. Her wings were no longer angelic but crow-like, with flight feathers moulting. The feathers around her wrists, ankles and tail had dropped out completely. Black fur was scattered over the mansion. Etana's death, when it finally came, would be slow, painful and humiliating.

"If it's a boy, will you call him James? For me?"

She didn't say anything else, just gazed into the distance. Tora knew deep down that she was preparing herself for the certain future. She was going to die and soon. The only question was, when?

Phoenix burned away the tears on her face before her companion could see them. Etana had been difficult at times but she had always been fiercely loyal to Logan, Tora, Cap and Fury. And beneath the sometimes brusque exterior she had sensed the passion with which Etana felt things. She looked at her companion, real tears streaming down the human side of her face, red liquid sliding down the mask.

"Piotr, Tora wanted to speak to you."

Colossus turned and frowned.

"Etana, why are you out of your room? Hank ordered you to get bed rest."

"I needed to find out if this miracle cure is real."

"It is. But Hank won't let us use it."

"I know. Now Tora is out in the grounds. You better hurry up. She seemed pretty worried."

He nodded and walked away. Etana managed to stumble to the elevator, in which she collapsed as her legs buckled. She managed to pull herself upright before the doors opened.

"Etana, what are you doing down here?"

"I heard about the cure."

"Yes. I'm making refinements and then we'll have you healthy again."

She smiled.

"Good. Can I see it?"

Hank pointed to a small syringe in a rack.

"Don't touch it. I don't want you dying on me. They'll accuse me of injecting it into you."

"Like anyone would do that Hank."

He laughed. She brushed the glass tube.

"Thanks Hank. For everything."

"I think I'll have the cure by next week."

She smiled and managed to get to the lift. As she did so, she slipped the small metal syringe into her pocket. Didn't Hank remember she had the best sleight of hand in the mansion? Or rather, sleight of tail.

Once she was out of the lab she slipped it back into her hand as she hurried up to her room. When she got there she checked the eight letters on her bed. Logan, Tora, Fury, Charles, Kurt, Hank, Max/Eric/Magus and Steve. Steve…

Pushing aside doubts she stepped up onto the windowsill. Her inky wings spread wide and she launched herself into the air, every beat a sword thrust into her back. She climbed, grimacing with pain. Reaching a hovering altitude she sped up her wing beats and pulled out the syringe. Fingers caught as she pulled down the high neck of her top to reveal a vein. A moment's pause then metal pierced flesh. The cure shot through her bloodstream, reaching her heart and she was falling. The syringe span out of her limp hand and she felt a calming blackness engulf her. Then she wasn't falling but flying. Strong arms held her up and silver eyes opened. Warren was letting her fly again, letting her fly without pain. A single word slid past Etana's lips.

"Adonai…"

Then the silver orbs lost their spark and her body went limp in Warren's arms.

Neither woman made any attempt to hide their tears. Both had known people who died of the Legacy Virus. And Etana's death had been so…unnecessary. Hank had managed to create the cure within a week, just like he had promised. But it would never be needed, due to Etana's stubbornness.

Tora had been sitting the library, reading the books Sue Richards had given her which she found incredibly dull and wondering how long it would be before Hank allowed her back on active duty when Piotr had come in.

"I thought you were in the garden. I just spent ten minutes looking for you."

"Why would I be in the garden?"

"You sent Etana to speak to me."

"I didn't. Where was she?"

"I was going down to the lab…about the cure. And she was going down as well…Oh…"

Tora was already standing up.

"Piotr, go and see Hank NOW! I'm going up to her room. Get Warren and Storm to do an aerial sweep."

"You think…"

"Haven't you noticed the date? I was so stupid! It's the 18th of May! She told Cap she died tomorrow but I bet she was lying."

Piotr swore and went running off to see the others while Tora moved quickly to get upstairs to the attic. The window was open and eight envelopes were on the bed. One was addressed to her. She ripped it open and read the letter inside, before looking in confusion at the second envelope that had been inside the first.

Dear Tora,

I'm sorry I never had a chance to say goodbye properly. I wish I could have stayed alive long enough to see your child born but even if the Virus was cured I would have been too weak to survive. So I decided to do the only thing that I feel able to do. If I hadn't done this, then Piotr would have. Ask him if you don't believe me. And tell Scott that Nathan is coming home. I met him.

I hope you don't think too badly of me, or that I am taking a coward's way out. Tora, do you remember the conversation we had the night before your wedding? You must do… The real reason I have never loved was because I felt I was unclean. You will always be a better person than me. What 13-year-old girl kills eighteen men? That was I. I killed before I learnt that I could teleport. That's all I thought I was. It took a good man to show me I was more than that.

As for the other envelope, do not open it until the symbol on the seal has meaning to you. True meaning, so you know exactly what and who you are.

From

Etana

Tora crumpled the letter and the other, beautiful blue-white envelope with a silver seal into her pocket and hurried downstairs. As she reached the door she saw Warren land. Even from here she could see the black body in his arms and smell the death on the breeze. She screamed and ran towards the wings and tail trailing on the ground. Etana hadn't a mark on her other than a spot of blood on her chest. Tora wiped it away and caught the last fading scent of Etana. Warren looked her in the eye.

"I caught her when she fell. There was nothing I could do."

"I know Warren. She was too weak to do that. She shouldn't have flown."

"I think she wanted to die flying. Tora, what does Adonai mean?"

"Why Warren?"

"It was her last word. I think it meant something to her."

"Of course it did Warren. Adonai means My Lord. It's traditionally used in Jewish prayer."

"She was praying?"

"What do you think Warren? She was a devout Jew and she was dying. What else was she going to say?"

"I don't know? How about 'Please, I don't want to die'?"

"She injected herself Warren. She knew what she was doing!"

Then the tears came and she couldn't stop them. She heard the others coming up behind her and Logan's choked gasp. Etana had started to tell him about his past and flashbacks were meaning he had been a lot closer to her than the other X-Men. Only Tora was as friendly as he was. A warm arm wrapped around Tora and she heard Hank muttering about how it was his fault. Tora rounded on him.

"Don't you dare blame yourself Henry Phillip McCoy! Etana made a choice. Respect it and the fact she gave her life for us."

Beast nodded and then watched as Tora broke down even further, leaning on Jean even more.

Jean sighed.

"Remember Nathan's first words when he came home?"

"'Where is Etana?' How could one forget?"

"She didn't deserve to die like that…"

"How would you have her die? In battle against an opponent who would have to resort to trickery to kill her? In bed, dying of an illness she could not fight? Or giving her life for those she cared about, in the most honest way she could?"

"When you put it that way…"

A.N. For those of you who can't wait for the time-travelling section of the story and want more Etana, read my Cap/X-Men crossover about Poland 1944 and her relationship with Cap.