Author's Note: Thank you very much for all your reviews and messages, I really appreciate the fact you're taking the time to post something.

Chapter Thirty-One

"It's hot. Don't you think it's hot? It's hot. Too hot." Jane sighed heavily which caused a few customers in the line to turn around to look at her. "Way too hot."

Maura didn't say anything back. She was suffering from the unexpected heatwave too but unlike Jane she remained quiet over it. Besides, the morgue had the AC on all day and night long. Thus she couldn't complained. She didn't like the AC but she had to admit that she was glad to have it under such circumstances.

"Earth calls Maura." Jane waved her arms at her partner. "Hey, are you with me?"

Maura gave Jane a very brief smile. The line to the barista was long and slow. She was losing her nerves waiting in the sun for an iced coffee and her latent headache made it all even worse. She crossed her arms against her chest then pouted.

"By the way, is it all good for Saturday?"

Jane feigned to not understand what Maura was talking about. She raised an eyebow and innocently sank her hands in the pockets of her capri pants. She then counted until five in her head.

"What's on Saturday?"

"Jane!" Maura blushed as she realized that she had spoken too loudly. She cleared her voice and came closer to her partner. "The charity event at the Public Library. I told you about it at least eight days ago."

The evening was part of Maura's duty. As an Isles, she had to attend this kind of events. She didn't mind them, because she was used to them. Besides, she saw it as an opportunity to do something couple-ish with Jane. They had been busy at work this past week and they hadn't gone on a date yet.

"Ah... Yeah. That." The lack of enthusiasm in Jane's voice showed very easily. "I don't know yet. I may do extra-hours at work."

Maura gasped. She was slightly overreacting for not feeling well but she also knew that Jane didn't have to do any extra-hour. The only reason why her partner now mentioned extra-time at the BPD was because Jane didn't want to go to the charity event. She hated them.

"Oh, come on! You could make an effort. I watched baseball with you last week. I made a compromise. Now it's your turn."

Jane held back a laugh. She and Maura sounded very domestic suddenly. It was quite funny. Jane found it cute. However she knew that Maura still had a hard time to deal with it.

"From the couch, Maura. You didn't have to dress up to the nine and be out and about for the rest of the night talking to boring people and pretending you're friend with the whole crowd of guests."

Jane didn't like the socialite sphere Maura belonged to because she felt left aside. She hadn't grown up a member of the country club. She wasn't part of their little world.

"It'd be the occasion to introduce you officially. Isn't it what you've been dying for, lately?"

Jane didn't miss Maura's snappy tone. It wasn't mean. Maura was actually right. Jane had alluded to the possibility of making their relationship official but Maura had backed in retreat. She enjoyed the relative anonymity of it. She wanted it to last until at least September.

Which was in two days now.

"So you wanna introduce me to strangers but keep on lying to our friends and colleagues?"

As much as Jane knew what Maura had meant, her ego had just spoken for her. She wasn't entirely wrong either. As a matter of fact, both of them were right. To an extent.

Jane loved what she was building with Maura. For the very first time in her life, she had this feeling to be at the right place at the right time. With the right person. Her bond with Maura had only strengthened and she was falling hard for the sweetness they had built.

Maura brought her own touch to their relationship. She liked spicying things up a bit. Jane understood that it was something Maura had always done because it matched her temper. She was fine with it as long as her partner didn't forget that being in a romantic relationship was different than being friends with benefits.

"I beg your pardon?"

Jane winced. She shouldn't have said what she had just said. Obviously Maura wasn't in a good mood and the last thing she needed to hear was Jane being snarky too.

"You're not ready to let our friends know that we're together but you don't mind telling it to these people?"

Maura scoffed. She looked at the barista and wondered for brief seconds why the line wasn't moving. Her patience was reaching its limits.

"It's completely different, Jane. These people are strangers... Or better said, they are acquaintances. I don't care about them as much as I care about our friends, about our colleagues and... And about our relatives. I don't want to ruin this moment with our beloved ones."

"How telling them we're together can ruin anything?" Jane ran a hand through her hair. She was sweaty and very thirsty. "Can't this line move any slower? Dammit." She swallowed hard. "I've put aside all my fears and insecurities for you. Do you get that?"

Maura's heart tightened. She perfectly understood what Jane meant and she was even jealous of it because against all expectations, Jane had been braver than her. And faster in her acceptation.

Just not for the same reasons.

Jane was impulsive. She rarely overthought anything. Most of the times, she rushed head first and dealed with the consequences of her acts afterward. Maura was the exact opposite. She liked anticipating things. She couldn't help thinking that the moment she would admit her feelings openly then she would lose her shield as well.

And then she would be too fragile.

"Of course, I do."

"Then why don't you say it? Not even once."

Jane's voice broke. She was being emotional in public and she hated it. This wasn't the right place for such conversation. She wasn't angry with Maura but the situation made her feel frustrated. She thought about the morning, how they had made love before getting up and going to work. It had been sweet, and intense. Easy.

It was always easy when they had sex. As Maura had said some time in April not long after they had started their friendship with benefits, they were sexually compatible. It had made Jane burst out laughing by then because it had sounded very impersonal, almost scientific like. Now it began to weigh a bit too much on her soul.

"Jane..."

"What now?" Jane let another heavy sigh pass her lips. "I don't like these charity events. They're boring and they make me feel like shit but you know I'd attend a zillion of them just for you. It's just... What is it that I have the feeling I'm the only one who's really making efforts here?"

A woman who must have overheard Jane's question by accident stared at Maura before focusing on the floor. Maura swallowed hard. The last thing she wanted now was to deal with Jane throwing a scene at her in the middle of a crowded coffee shop. Jane had her reasons to react that way but Maura still felt uncomfortable.

"You aren't the only one who makes compromises, Jane. I watched baseball with you and..."

Jane scoffed which interrupted Maura mid-sentence. Maura rolled her eyes. Perhaps watching a baseball game had very little to do with making a relationship official but she didn't find it fair from Jane to say that their relationship was one-sided. It wasn't. Maura took Jane on a date on a frequent basis and she made sure her partner was happy.

Saying 'I love you' and making it all official was the last stage Maura still had to reach.

It shouldn't have been so difficult though. Because it was Jane. Because Maura felt incomplete when her partner wasn't around. Because her heart did skip a beat when she looked into Jane's dark eyes. Because it was terribly evident. Yet Maura was stuck.

"Baseball... Oh, come on!" A sarcastic, bitter laugh passed Jane's lips. A lump had formed in her throat as her heart had tightened painfully. "How can you even compare both? You know what? Go on. Don't leave your comfort zone and run away from your life as you've always done. You're really good at it. And if you ever get some guts... If you ever realize how fragile life can be, then you know where to find me."

Jane turned around. Without adding anything, she walked out the coffee shop and began to walk down the street.

Maura blinked. In shock. She hadn't seen it come yet deep inside she knew that she deserved it. Jane had given her her heart a long time ago when Maura had only showed pieces of it. Because she was afraid of assuming everything.

"Hmm... Sorry. Ma'am?" The barista waited for Maura to turn around to face him. "What's your order?"

Maura realized that she had finally made it to the bar counter. Sadly she didn't want anything anymore. Her life had stopped making sense the moment Jane had left the shop.

"Nothing..." She bowed her head shamefully as a whisper passed her lips. "I'm sorry."