AN: Sorry for the bajillion month wait...basically I have no excuses other than I have bi-polar/manic depressive and just fell into a depressive funk plus life threw a nice curve ball of my land lord dying and all of my neighbors and I had to be evicted...so yeah had to find a place to live! Luckily found a nicer apartment in time. Plus my computer died so I needed to save up for a new one :) Though I have to say further updates will be slow so I'm sorry ahead of time, plus this is a smaller chapter than usual but I promise for longer ones in the future, basically I felt really bad for putting out NOTHING for ages so...here's a little bit to tide you over until later! The next chapter will be a lot better :)
Disclaimer: I do not own Ed Edd N' Eddy in any shape or form, if I did Kevin and Edd would have been kissing canonly at twelve years old *snicker*
Warnings: Past and present self mutilation, severe bullying(violence) hate crimes, possessive behavior, mature content of the M/M variety, mentions of past suicide attempts, Bad grammar and cursing on Kevin's part, anymore warnings will be listed as they come along
The chilling bite of November wind briskly wrapped it's icy tendrils around the random unfortunate people walking to school or work as they buzzed past like worker bees in an assembly line hurriedly in hopes to cut the time in half in their cold journey toward their destinations.
Edd paid them no mind as he weaved his way in and out of the way of several classmates shrinking in on himself in a almost knee jerking reaction every now and then when the figures of red letter-man wearing jocks got a bit too closely for his liking,
His thoughts were bouncing and ricocheting off the walls of his mind, nerves a lit and buzzing painfully over the heart wrenching signals that his torn heart was sending to it.
He might have been praised for his inelegance left and right by his teachers and peers; but who was he to pretend to be truly smart?
After all he had gone and done what most every teenager does at his age.
He had let someone past his carefully constructed walls with an unfathomable wholehearted, blind and down right idiotic trust that had lead him to his inevitable and cruel fate.
He had fallen head first in love before he had even realized it. in every conceivable imaginable way possible.
His cyan eyes flicked down to the light dusting of snow cushioning the bottoms of his boot clad feet.
Which mind you in his opinion felt as if were encased in two ton cement blocks.
Well perhaps that was just an over exaggeration on his part, but he figured that just this once he was allowed to be a bit of a drama queen this morning thank you very much.
Gently rubbing a small pale hand against the front of his shirt he winced slightly.
His ribs burned with each uneven breathe that he took, as puffs of icy clouds of frost issued from his broken but healing scabbed over chapped lips.
He grimaced deeply and gripped the strap of his gray messenger bag tightly in a white knuckled grip.
Today would be no laughing matter.
Today would be hell on earth; for that he was quite sure of already.
He just hoped he would get through it gracefully as possible without a lot of strife and incident.
A long slender leather jacket clad arm then hooked spontaneously and quite suddenly around his thin waist, jarring him from his decidedly gloomy pondering thoughts.
Blinking his slightly tell tale blood shot blue eyes he looked up into angry but worried piercing darker blue orbs; ones that he knew could only ever belong to Marie.
"Alright D, out with it. I'm all ears, and seriously don't even try to pretend like you're fine, cause I'm not gonna buy that crapola one bit yah hear me?" Spouted out the bluenette in a fast concerned jumble of gruff but affectionate scolding.
Flinching ever so slightly he lowered his eyes shamefully and dejectedly.
Her arm tightened some around him but not too harshly, her tone gentled some.
"D...? Edd...come on now talk to me. You're scaring me man...Do I havetah kill someone? 'Cause I can make it look totally legit and not get caught all I gotta do is ask my sisters for help." Callused but gentle long fingers tucked a strand of his hair behind his left ear.
Letting out a stifled hitched breath he swallowed hard in his throat and brought his watery gaze upward to meet hers, "M-Marie..you merely startled me is all! Nothing to worry about truly. I'm perfectly fine!"
He plastered on a smile out of pure habit but flinched again some when Marie's glare intensified ten fold back at him.
"Oh fucking hell no, don't you dare pull a fake smile at me Double D! I was the one who called you out on that bull shit smile in freshman year. You didn't fool me then and you sure as hell won't be fooling me now; so don't you even try." She ranted at him and pulled him closer enveloping him into a gentle hug.
"Now seriously though, who do I have to kill? Is it that fucking asswipe Jacob Talbit from the hockey team? Ooooh I sure hope it is! I've been itching to push him down a couple flights of stairs ever since he started messing with you. It's him isn't it?"
Biting his lip he clung to her embrace in a helpless out of character display of vulnerability he barely ever let anyone see which sent red warning flags flying up in Marie's head.
Tears pricked at the edges of his eyes, "Marie, it was only a few bruises...and my ribs don't hurt as much as they did yesterday. In fact I'm pretty sure they are only severely bruised."
She growled deeply in the back of her throat she reared back spitting like an angry snake, "Bruises?! I'll poison him!"
He pulled away and dabbed at his eyes carefully as to not smudge his eyeliner and slightly pouted at her his lips tugging into a small but real smile, "As thoughtfully kind that your gesture would be, I don't really wish to visit you in jail anytime soon; and blood is an extremely hard stain to rid from fabric. You have to be extremely diligent, it's a very delicate and trying process I don't quite think you have the patience for."
Marie snorted pulling back with her hands on her hips she looked down at him with a mock injured look on her face, "You have such little faith in me! Who'd say I'd get caught? I've clearly not shown my epicly awesome skills to you properly yet D."
She eyed him oddly and with an after thought she added, "And the fact that you know how to get blood out of clothing is just...sending my womanly mothering instincts into over drive...cut that shit out I have a reputation to keep up.."
Letting out a soft small eruption of giggles he smiled gently up at her, "My extreme apologies Marie, I wouldn't wish for to damage such sheer bravado and coolness."
Winking some Marie looped her arm with his again, "You don't have to tell me anything you don't want to D, but somethin' tells me that this ain't all just about some stupid ass meaty jock head who kicked you around like his personal hockey puck."
Shifting some he leaned into her touch a bit which was also very odd to Marie who filed away this behavior for later analysis, " Yes well...I suppose you're correct in that assumption...it's really a very long and embarrassing story..."
Smirking she grinned a toothy grin, "Oh good, the best stories always are! I'm all ears!"
And with that they walked arm and arm down the sidewalk and up the steps of Peachcreek high.
Perhaps he did have friends still.
He mused that having at least one good friend was better than having none at all.
The red haired jock tapped the mechanical pencil's tip lazily against his desk, not giving any of his attention to the English test laid out in front of him; his mind elsewhere as he absently stared blankly out the window to his right.
His brain was a jumbled knot of crappy run on imagery that kept replaying back the night before like a goddamn broken record.
Those pained, and betrayed tear glazed over blue puppy dog eyes haunted his every fucking thought.
Rubbing his face frustratedly he blew out an agitated sigh and then groaned loudly earning him a quick confused concerned glance from Nathan on his left.
He turned his gaze to his test as he tried not to glare a hole in it with his eyes alone.
Fuck, fuck, fuckity fuck!
Why did this have to be so freakin' complicated?!
He wasn't gay...he just couldn't be!
T-there was no way!
Really he wasn't...
At least he was sure as fuck he hadn't been a month ago! Right..?
I mean come on he liked bouncy tits, mini skirts, and all of the girls attached to them!
He didn't go for lanky effeminate looking flat chested, dorky loser boy geniuses with endearing gap toothed smiles, and big blue doe eyes!
He was straight as could be!
Hell he even had cheerleader porn mags stashed under his mattress for Christ's sake!
Not that he'd looked at them in ages...
But that was besides the point!
The point being was, that he'd never looked at a boy before now so what in the hell had changed so fucking suddenly?!
I mean Nazz had quite obviously had been his major crush for years!
When had she simply lost all attractive appeal, became nothing more than just his best friend, and faded into the background of his thoughts?
Seriously when was the exact moment in time that his world had become so...strange and unfamiliar?
He rubbed his eyes tiredly.
"Dude, the bell's gonna ring in like...five seconds, and all you have written is like your name; and as lovely as that is...you're so gonna tank this grade like an anvil hitting the bottom of the ocean." Nathan cheerily stage whispered.
The auburn teen chewed the inside of his mouth angrily before he turned in his seat throwing a scowl at his best friend, "Shut it will yah Goldberg?"
"D'awww but Kevvy I'm only concerned about your already shitty grade point average! You won't stay on the team this way; why are you so grumpy anyway? Did your study date with Double Divine not turn out the way you always fantasied? Did you at least kiss him? Tell me you filmed his reaction, he's just so delicious when he blushes! He did blush right?"
Kevin's face turned an attractive crimson color that went all the way to the tips of his ears.
In one swift pissed off motion he slammed his hands down on the desk before him startling the green haired boy next to him as he stood up.
Grabbing his bag he then stalked out of the classroom ignoring the indignant sputtered squawk of his name from the poor elderly English teacher .
Well this hadn't been how he'd expected this lunch period to go.
No not in the very least!
Well perhaps he had figured a scuffle here or two before the day's end but this was just absurd.
Groaning Edd flinched as his ribs jarred slightly against the metal side of the dumpster in which he currently resided.
He shuddered in complete utter disgust as he picked out some kind of slimy leafy substance from out of his shirt, "Filthy, filthy, filthy..."
A very long hot shower and efficient scrubbing was going to be his first destination as soon as he got out of this confounded garbage heap of goo.
His skin felt as if it were practically literally crawling with germs! Yuck!
Though he was quite proud of himself, had this been only three years prior his OCD would have immediately taken over and he would have had a major panic attack; and surely would have locked himself away in the nearest bathroom to commence in scrubbing his skin red and raw to ensure it's cleanliness.
Truly he was in awe of the wonders of the right medication balance for mental illnesses these days.
That aside he would have to put his mind on the problem at hand.
Shifting in the nastiness around him he pushed as hard as he could at the lid over him squinting through the dimness.
Now more than certain that when Jacob's cronies had unceremoniously thrown him in said dumpster, that they had tied or jammed the outside of it to not be able to open without the help from an outside party.
He then blew some of his bangs out of his eyes in annoyance but regretted it almost instantly because it made some of the horrid stench around him waft up making his eyes water painfully.
At this rate he wouldn't be found until the end of the day when Marie or Kevin noticed his absence.
Kevin...
Perhaps it would be best if Marie found him before the latter.
The ravenette wasn't sure he could deal with being covered in gooey left overs and who knows what else and the auburn haired jock at the same time!
Even he wasn't that multitasking.
So now it was a stinky nervous waiting game.