Where was I?

I was surrounded by things. Because of the previously empty and bleak nature of my last surroundings, the only ones I could actually remember and therefore my only point of reference, it all came as quite a shock. My only memories were of being in a place that was void of anything bar water and people I felt as if it was the first time that I had seen anything, but somehow I knew the names of everything I was seeing. It was as if I had seen them all before, but where? I didn't know. I still had no memory of who I was, had been or should be. All I had was the tiny baby girl I held in my arms and the knowledge that she was absolutely and completely mine. I looked down at her. Did she have a name?

Rebecca.

It seemed so obvious now.

"Hello," I smiled down at her. She looked back at me, peaceful and happy, looking as if she would have said hello back… if she could have. I held her tight. "It's okay, darling. I'll keep you safe."

Her eyes were so trusting and contented with where she was. I was thankful that she was not fazed by the oddness of our surroundings. Her calm energy eased my worry, but I was still very nervous. The buildings around us did not look at all stable. They were old and crumbling. Many windows were completely empty, rags hung in a few as a crude attempt at fashioning curtains. Deep cracks ran through the brickwork of the buildings and they looked as if they might collapse any second. The street I was standing in was empty, but the City was full of noise. I could hear explosions and shouts. An unmistakable sound of warfare. I stayed where I was for a moment, panicking. What was I supposed to do now that I was here? Why was I here?

A shout from behind me told me that I had to get moving and find somewhere safe. I could tell that the battle sounds I was hearing were not all focused in the one area. Clearly the entire City had descended into chaos. What had happened? I began a hurried walk away from the nearest sounds, keeping to the side of the street in order to be as inconspicuous as humanly possible.

I moved quickly and quietly, clutching Rebecca closer to my chest. I needed to keep her safe. There had to be someone in this City who could help us. There had to be somewhere safe that we could go. I would just explain that I had lost my memories and didn't know where to go. Maybe someone would know me and be able to tell me who I was and why I was here. At the end of the street I turned left. The buildings were getting larger and had an air of vanishing grandeur. I could tell that these had once been architecturally beautiful places, but most of it was on its way to ruin. I heard footsteps behind me and shrank back in to the shadows of a tall building. I needn't have worried though, it was only a child. I almost stepped back out to speak to him and check that he was alright, but then I saw that he was armed with heavy weaponry and I stayed put. I immediately felt incredibly uneasy. That wasn't right… surely? He ran straight past me, not glancing my way once. I relaxed. Maybe he was heading somewhere safe… Surely, parents would be sending their children to a safe place. The streets were dangerous. Without giving it much extra thought I silently followed him through the streets until he paused at the top of a hill. There was a giant, grand building at the bottom of it. The biggest out of any I'd seen, but by no means any less run down than the rest of the City.

The boy glanced around, he didn't seem to see me.

A gun shot from behind us made us both jump. We ran as fast as we could away from the source of the sound and towards the cracked doors of the building at the bottom of the hill. The boy fired a few shots behind him as he ran. I looked back. A line of men in bright red coats were charging towards us with their guns raised. The boy got to the door before I did. He knocked hurriedly and it creaked open almost at once. The two of us darted inside. Shots pinged off the door as it slammed shut behind us. The man who opened the door walked quickly away with the boy, leaving me standing in a vast room. Tall pillars stretched from the cracked marble floor to the high ceiling above, but, just like everything else here, they were not in good condition. Some of them has disintegrated completely. Colours had faded from the mosaic around the walls and I was left wonder whether this clearly once great and noble City had fallen in to this state gradually or if it was a result of the fighting outside. How long had this battle been raging on?

Something bright caught my eye. A magnificent golden fountain stood in the middle of the room. It looked odd in this run-down City.

The room was full of people, but they were all clustered together in the middle. I wasn't sure whether to approach them or not. I felt like I would be intruding. I didn't know them and I doubted they would know me. I didn't even know me. I walked over slowly, not wanting to draw attention to myself, but at the same time wishing that someone would notice me. A hush had fallen over the room. Everyone appeared so sombre. Somewhere to my right a baby started to cry. Rebecca stirred in my arms. For the first time there was a small frown on her beautiful face. A girl, no younger than six or seven carried a new-born baby away from the cluster of people in the middle of the room. It was only when the other baby was out of the room that Rebecca settled down again. Someone else was crying too. I couldn't work out who it was, but I immediately felt an ache of sympathy for them.

"I'm sorry, Jack," a man spoke, his voice was hoarse. Jack? I knew that name. I looked at the man who had spoken. There were tears in his eyes and his old, weather-beaten face was riddled with sorrow and sympathy. I grew concerned over the intimacy of the moment I had accidentally walked in on. I was glad that nobody had seen me yet. I followed the line of his gaze and the reason for the grief became obvious.

Someone had died.

A pool of blood surrounded her, soaking her clothes. Her body was lifeless and still. Her head rolled back and hung over the arms of a man who was holding her body tightly to him. His face was buried deep in her chest, but his muffled sobs were still painfully audible. He raised his head and his trembling hands moved to support hers. He gazed at her pale, unresponsive face. His fingertips shook as he used them to brush away her hair, which was wet with his tears. His words were uncomprehsible. He pressed his lips to the top of her head and rocked her back and forth. His eyes were squeezed tightly shut, but that didn't stop the tears from spilling out.

Why was nobody helping him?

Everyone was standing there, watching. I walked over to stand on the other side of her body. I knelt down to his level. His lips were still pressed to her forehead and his face was crumpled with sorrow. I took a deep breath, I didn't want to interrupt such a private moment, but I didn't think that it was going to help him to stay around the body. Someone needed to take him away and tell him it would be alright.

"Hey," I said gently. He did not react. I spoke up. "Hey, it's alright. It'll be alright."

I carefully balanced Rebecca in my lap, being careful to support her head with one had. I reached out to touch his arm with my free hand, but before I could reach him he moved to pull the woman's body closer to his chest. He rested his head on the top of hers.

His eyes opened. Pain was burning in his them and in his soul. He didn't see me although his eyes met mine. The second they did a jolt past through me and I remembered.

I remembered everything.


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