"Isabel," he said again. His eyes were spilling over with tears as I stumbled towards him. I was so full of relief and so happy to see him that I could barely stand. Everything in front of me was blurred with the tears in my eyes. His arms found me on the dark beach and for the first time in what felt like a painfully long time I was surrounded by family. I had never been more grateful to have someone that I knew I could talk to. It's amazing what one familiar face in a sea of dead strangers can do to you. I clung to him, just letting myself feel how much I had missed him. I couldn't believe he was here. I couldn't believe how real he felt. Seeing him and being able to hug him was the biggest comfort I could have asked for. Not just because it meant that I was no longer alone in this place, but also because it put my mind at rest. At least now that I knew he had been safe and well and not just… gone from everything.
I pulled away to look at his face. He looked exactly the same as he had in life. He smiled down at Rebecca. She blinked back at him with interested eyes. "Rebecca," I said to her and at the sound of my voice her gaze fixed on me. "This is your Uncle James."
I looked to James as he gazed down at Rebecca with amazement in his eyes. I had seldom seen him look so happy. In life he had been in an almost permanent state of seriousness, responsibility and tension. Here he seemed free of all that. It was refreshing to see. It was nice.
"Uncle," he whispered, more to himself than me. "I'm an Uncle." He tore his eyes away from her to look at me. "Can I hold her?"
"Of course," I smiled at his excitement. Being careful to support her at all times I carefully passed her into James's waiting arms. As I watched the two of them interacting with each other in the simple way that is only possible with an infant I was filled with a fleeting moment of happiness. It was brought on by the absolute normality of the situation. This was what family was about. There was only one thing wrong with this picture… we were all dead. My happiness was then extinguished by the hopelessness of the situation and the abnormality of it all. That realisation pushed me back to thinking about home. We had to go back…. Could we go back?
James looked at me again, "She's beautiful." I smiled.
"Yes, she is," I agreed. My pride in my daughter was tinged with sadness at the thought that she may never grow up. "James-" I began.
"I'm sorry," he said suddenly.
"What?" I was a little taken aback.
"I'm sorry… for not realising sooner that your path… I mean, the path of piracy… was the right one. I was just… I…"
"It's all right," I almost laughed as I put a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "I don't think either of us ever would have guessed that I would turn pirate."
James looked thoughtfully back down at Rebecca. "She's… she's Sparrow's I presume?"
"Yes," I nodded, I saw a glint in Rebecca's eyes that was unmistakably her father's. I smiled, "Yes she very much is."
"And… er," he shifted uncomfortably. "Did you… I mean, were you…when she was…"
"Yes, we were married," I said hurriedly, feeling myself blush. Awkward conversations about the nature of the conception of my child were something I never thought I would have with my brother… especially not in the afterlife. He nodded his approval and looked slightly relieved. As my embarrassment began to fade a thought struck me. "Wait… you didn't know?"
He shook his head and I frowned. Maybe we did only get one chance at seeing those we'd left behind… My heart sank. He laughed at my confusion. "Isabel, I'm dead," he said as if I hadn't noticed. "How could I possibly know all this?"
"I just thought you might have kept an eye on us… or do you only get one chance at that?" I dreaded the answer, but it was his turn to look confused.
"One chance at what?"
"Going back," my words were met with a blank stare. Why wasn't he getting this? Perhaps it was to do with the length of time that he had been dead, maybe he'd forgotten. "You know… to say goodbye."
"Oh, while you're dying do you mean?" His look changed to one of enlightenment for the briefest of moments.
"No," my frown deepened and he was confused again. He wasn't the only one. "I mean, once you've died. After you've been under the water, but before you wake up in those boats…"
His eyes widened. "Isabel… you… you were awake for all that?" I nodded. He looked a bit stunned. "And you went back over to the living?"
"Yes," I said, his reaction to all of this was making me apprehensive.
"We have to get moving," he snapped. "Immediately."
He was suddenly business-like, passing Rebecca back to me and placing a hand between my shoulder blades to propel me forwards. "What…?" I was instantly worried. Where on Earth was he taking me?
"I knew I was here for a reason," he muttered.
"James," I said loudly as he pushed me along even faster than before. I glanced around us, looking behind to check that there was nothing there that James had us running from. The urgency that he was leading me away with had me panicked. "James! What are you talking about?"
"Come on," he glanced around us too. It suddenly dawned on me that this might not be real. James's grip on my arm was like a vice. I remembered everything I had been through in the Maze, how I had been duped into thinking that those… things were my parents, I even briefly believed in a fake Jack. Who was to say that this was the real James? I stopped abruptly and wrenched my arm free of him.
"I am not stepping another foot away with you until you tell me where we are going!" He turned back to face me. I stood stubbornly on the sand. He looked slightly annoyed, but also a little desperate.
"You're not dead yet."
"What?" my voice came out higher than usual.
"You're not dead yet," he said again.
"Erm… I think you'll find I am," I was stunned by this strange idea he had in his head. So stunned that I let him pull me along again.
"No," he said curtly, shaking his head.
"James!" I said in disbelief. "I saw my own body. I saw Rebecca's. I saw my husband and the son I've left behind. I am definitely dead."
"But that's just it Isabel. You shouldn't have been able to see your own dead body or anyone living. Nobody can. You aren't dead yet… but you being here means that you're close to it. We may only have minutes left… I don't know, but we need to find out." I felt my mouth drop open. I could hardly bring myself to hope.
"What… what happens if I'm not dead yet?" I asked quietly. "Is there a chance… could I…?"
He stopped walking and stood in front of me. He put his hands on my shoulders and looked me dead in the eye. "I don't know," he said, honestly. "Maybe. There's a chance that this may not be your time, or it might just be that you're passing over more slowly than others."
"What if it's not… 'my time'?" I asked, desperate for the answer to be exactly what I wanted to hear, but I wasn't sure I could handle it if it wasn't.
He studied my expression and I knew that he would know exactly what I was thinking. "There are risks," was all he would say. "Big ones."
"What?" I was overcome with a feeling of utter helplessness. I didn't understand any of what he was saying. His eyes were serious. He put an arm around me.
"You want to go back?" he asked.
"Yes…" I breathed.
"I'm sorry, Isabel," he said quietly. "I really hope you can get back, but… I want you to be aware of the consequences, because there could be huge ones. It's not something that can be undertaken lightly. Do you understand?"
"Yes," I nodded. "What do I have to do?"
He ignored my question. "The risks may far outweigh the chance of you recovering."
"James," I said. "I've been ripped away from the man I love and… my son. There's nothing I wouldn't do to go back to them."
"All right," he nodded. I noticed that he looked a little bit sad.
"What's wrong?" I asked quietly. He sighed.
"It gets… it's lonely without you." he shook his head. "Selfish of me really..."
I hugged him. "I miss you," I told him. "There's not a day goes by that I don't, but… you need to understand that I have to go back. And it's not like you'll miss me for long. Life doesn't last forever, James, we both know that."
He gave me a weak smile and nodded, "I don't know enough about this to help you, but there's someone here that can."
"Who?"
James turned and pointed to where there was a ship moored on the sand. The ship was spectacularly familiar. It had once absolutely terrified me, but seeing it now filled me with warmth and hope.
It was the Flying Dutchman.
Hello my pretties :) Have you read "Never Would Have Lied", a Sweeney fic by PirateNinjaCJS? If not then do, it seriously has some of the best Sweeney/Lovett scences ever and I do believe things are only just hotting up ;) Enjoy it (and tell her I sent you)!
Anyway, thank you so much for reading!And thank you to everyone who has favourited/put this on alerts. It really means a lot. Please leave a review. Love you all :) xx
