Alright, the latest chapter is up!
More edits were done as of 04/12/2017 courtesy of Ellara Levellan
Additional edits completed with new editing tool as of 07/30/2021 to help streamline the story and fix grammar and spelling issues.
Okay then, on with the fic!
Chapter Twelve: Missing Memories
Feeling exhausted, I quietly grabbed a vial of blood from the 'kitchens' storage closest. It was a roughshod sort of setup, but the Human members of the Cabal could get food here as much as the Vampires. I offered a brief nod to the few people in the room before withdrawing. Vial in hand, I all but ran back to Kain's room. I almost slammed the door shut behind me but managed to catch it in time to close it gently.
I rubbed at my face, feeling more than a little confused about the nervousness flooding through me. I still had that feeling from earlier too. That something wasn't right. That I'd forgotten something important. Every time I tried to push for the memory, the pain in my head flared up. I leaned against the door and let out a heavy, tired sigh. What the hell was wrong with me?
I pushed away from the door and sat down on the large, plush bed. The uneasiness in me grew to the point where I withdrew my wings, wanting them safely tucked away. Feathers, large and small, fell to cover a part of the bed in a light dusting. Huffing, I brushed the feathers from the bed and laid back with a huff. No one here knew of my weakness. No one knew that there was a way to force my wings from me. Not even Kain knew. As much as it was a relief to have them free, it was best to stay safe.
Why was I so on edge? A storm was brewing. Not literally, but still, that's what it felt like...
Shaking my head to clear it, I opened and downed the blood in the vial. It took a few moments to drain it completely. I looked over the vial and chuckled. For such a small thing, the magic cast on it was rather amazing. It could hold far more blood than seemed possible. In fact, the one I'd grabbed was marked with a symbol that'd I'd learned meant it was filled with about a half-gallon worth of blood. Sadly, drained as I was, it wasn't quite enough to sate my Hunger. Just enough to dull it around the edges.
It was a bad habit of mine. I only ever took enough to get by. Vorador had even scolded me something fierce a few nights ago when he'd realized I had been taking the bare minimum of what I needed. He'd seen me grab one of the smaller vials, one that held only a half-pint of blood, before going scouting around the general area. It was the equivalent of grabbing a few pieces of toast as breakfast.
Which was... unwise for a predator, in all honesty. Regardless of how spartan my feeding habits had been forced to be due to the long years of torture, I needed to eat more. We both knew that I no longer needed to function on little to no food. He'd needed me to understand, really understand, that he would always be a gracious host to those in his care. Vorador had then forced a larger vial into my hand and had waited for me to actually polish the thing off...
Kain had been highly amused by my resultant mood later that same night. I had been muttering to myself, more than a little annoyed that the older, green-skinned vampire had decided to take me to task so. He'd even proceeded to 'concede that Vorador had a point' regarding my very spartan feeding habits. Kain also rubbed salt into the proverbial wound by telling me that I was allowing what had happened to me to control my current actions and feeding habits.
I'd flushed, more than a little angry at his words. But he'd had a point. I was no longer caged. I could feed as I wished, within reason as to not draw attention to the Cabal. I didn't have to squirrel away unnoticed with the smallest amounts of sustenance in hand. Being around others still bothered me, but they were right. I was free.
While it had felt good, refreshing even, to be so well-fed, even now, I only grabbed the quarter or half-gallon vials when I felt the Hunger build. It would take time for me to be comfortable grabbing more than that. These were resources that the others needed, too, for all that they could easily refill the vials with the blood of the bandits roaming the countryside. It was... uncomfortable. At least when it came to blood, I did not have to worry like a Human might about eating too much too fast after having been on a limited diet for so long.
I set the empty vial on the nightstand next to the bed before rubbing at the side of my head with a soft grumble. I laid back and glared at the ceiling for a long while. The damned headache had yet to fade. I knew, just knew, that I had forgotten to tell Kain and Vorador something when I had made my report. For the life of me, though, I couldn't remember what that elusive something was. Even now, it was hard to pull the details of what the boy looked like to mind. The most that stood out was his damned eyes... and a light? At his chest, maybe?
Has my mind been messed with? I thought to myself with a low growl.
Not impossible. In fact, the longer I thought about it, the more I pressed at the sheer lack of detail about the Lordling when I was usually very good with details, the more certain I became. My mind had been fucked with. Either by the Lordling or by something else. Was it just that little bit of knowledge, important knowledge, that had been blocked? Or was it something more?
I shuddered at the unpleasant thought and drew the covers around my body. I was not at all happy with the prospect before me. If I could just push past the pain, maybe I could remember. We needed that information. I knew it on an instinctive level. Especially if it was so important that the Sarafan brat had deemed it necessary to fuck with my head. Clutching at my head and groaning, I tried desperately to push past the pain. I needed to remember. I needed to...
Nikolai! I thought dizzily, feeling my head spin as my thoughts derailed and redirected. Oh gods, what about Nikolai? Should I go collect him myself?
My eyes shot open, and I let out a ragged gasp, sitting up quickly. Worry thudded through me, making my heart race. Kain... might not send someone to collect him. Might leave him for dead. Nikolai needed a healer. He might die if his injuries weren't treated, and soon. I had promised to try to get aid. I had promised to...
I tried to roll out of bed, to force myself to my feet. The world spun around me, tilting ominously. My body felt like it was made of lead. I stumbled, falling back on the bed with a groan. I'd just fed... why was I so tired? So weary? The fight had been rough. Going through all those Gates had been painful. The worry for Nikolai... the worry about forgetting...
My body jolted wildly, and I whimpered softly. It was like my thoughts were stuck in a volatile loop that I couldn't escape. It hurt. My head hurt. Clenching my eyes shut, I tried not to cry out from the pain. It was like someone had taken a jackhammer to the side of my head. The thoughts looped and looped and... abruptly stilled. I could feel unconsciousness settling over me like a heavy blanket.
No, I thought with a low whine, trying to push myself back to my feet and falling helplessly onto my side. No... this isn't right... I need to... I need to...
Darkness claimed me. A deep and dreamless, formless sleep that encompassed everything. It felt like only moments had passed before I jerked back awake. And to the sensation of barely being able to breathe no only that, but I was laying on my back. Coughing hoarsely, trying to breathe past that constricting feeling, I tried to reach out with shaking hands to try to grab whatever had a hold of me. My hands fell back to the bed. Thought and movement were difficult due to a lack of oxygen. What the hell was going on?
Slowly the pressure eased. Not enough that I could breathe easily, but enough to get some air. My sight began to clear, the haze of white and grey splotches fading. I blinked up at the form above me, confusion scattering my thoughts further still.
It was Kain. He stood above me, one knee on the bed with the rest of his body looming over mine. The line of his left arm led down to... What in the hell?! Why was he... choking me? I blinked up at him in confusion, unable to read the expression on his face. Were it not for the iron grip around my throat, I would not have been able to tell that he was angry. My body jolted as I felt that angry Aura settle over my skin.
Fuck, I winced at the pressure and tried to think. Why is Kain angry? What did I do?
I reflexively tried to reach for his wrist, an automatic attempt to pull his hand away. My instincts screamed through me, shouting at me to not move a single goddamned muscle. My hand froze where it was and then lowered back to the bed. I swallowed roughly.
"W-what...?" I winced as his grip tightened and then relaxed.
"That is the question. What are you hiding from me, my Little One?" Kain purred in a low, rumbling voice.
He leaned in close enough that his nose almost brushed against my own, taking a slow breath. I winced, knowing he was breathing in my fear-filled, confused scent. I meant to ask, 'what are you talking about?' but what came out was more like a choked gurgle of sound as his hand flexed around my throat once more. Sharp claws teased over my throat. The look on my face must have been filled with enough terror and open confusion for his rage to abate. Somewhat.
He loosened his grip again, just enough to allow me a little more of the precious air that I, as a half-blood, still needed to survive.
"You did not tell us everything when you made your report, Little One," he growled as he pulled his head back. Blue-gold eyes pinned me in place, and I shivered beneath him. "What else happened at the Sarafan stronghold while you were there, Katrina? What are you hiding from me?"
His tone was a warning, a threat, and a promise all in one. The kind of tone which was an utter, deadly calmness reserved for those times when he was well and truly pissed off. I'd only heard him this angry once before. When a Human scout had gotten their team killed with their carelessness. Suffice to say, that particular Human scout was no longer with the Cabal...
Oh, lucky, lucky me, I thought, swallowing hard.
"I warn you, Little One, now is not the time to test my patience with you," he hissed.
I felt a sharp point jab against my skin right below the left side of my rib cage. Hungry energy danced over my skin, starting at that point and spreading outward. The energy seemed to tug at my very soul. A stifled gasp escaped me at the almost but not quite painful feeling. It was almost like my soul was a ball of yarn that a rambunctious kitten had started to play with.
A very large and healthy surge of fear flooded through me. The Soul Reaver itself was currently pressed firmly into the skin below my ribs. I knew without having to look that it was angled so that the sharp point was aimed for a clean shot at my heart. The arching energy that tugged against my soul meant that the sword was hungry.
Fuck, Shit and Damnation! I thought, panic searing through me. I forced myself to hold completely still rather than give in to the urge to try and struggle away.
I well and truly hoped that my current streak of good luck would hold out. The pull on my soul increased. Never mind the earlier description of a kitten with a ball of yarn. It was more of a mouse or bird caught between the talons of a large tiger. It hurt. I couldn't hold back the small whimper that escaped me.
"Whimpering will not save you from my fury if you have betrayed me, Little One," Kain said coldly, tilting his head as he looked down at me. "Only the full truth of what happened and what you can recall might save you now. Pray, Katrina, that you do not disappoint me again. Now speak!"
Woof woof? the manic thought flooded my mind, panic tearing through me.
One silver, regal brow rose in surprise. I had to fight down the sudden blush that threatened to stain my cheeks at the look he was giving me. No, no, bad girl, definitely not the right thing to say to a pissed-off Kain. But what could I say? I still couldn't remember. And I had tried!
Oh, hells, I thought to myself. He's going to either kill me or just be pissed off at me. Best to just get this over with.
"I-I'm not sure what... what happened..." I began hesitantly, my voice a thready thing what with his hand about my throat so. Instinct drove me to bare my throat to him when his eyes narrowed angrily. "I've been trying... I swear..."
"From the beginning," Kain interrupted his voice back to that deadly calm.
Better calm than shouting, I guess, I thought with a wince.
"I... made my way into the stronghold. Reached that stupid, bloody 'gallery' in the building," I said, swallowing roughly. "I watched... the new 'Sarafan Lord' as he gave his speech. I wanted to be able... to describe him properly when I got back. But now... I can't seem to hold his image clearly in my mind."
"Hn," his eyes narrowed thoughtfully, feline-like pupils narrowing. "Go on."
"I keep trying to remember," I said, shivering beneath the intensity of that judging gaze. "Other than the boy's eyes I... I can just barely recall seeing a strange light... roughly at the level of his chest. I can remember his words to the crowd... but I'm having a hard time recalling what his voice sounded like. Everything else is there... the layout of the interior, where his rooms are, I just... Details of what he was wearing, what he looked like, sounded like... it's dulled or blocked or..."
I broke off with a wince of pain, not from his grip or the sword, but from that damned headache flaring back full force. I was afraid, more afraid than I had been in some time, but the pain almost blocked that fear out entirely. Even the faint tugging at my soul was less intense in comparison.
"I... I'm... fairly certain at this point that he fucked with my head somehow," I croaked, tilting my head further still. Baring my throat to him in further supplication. "I swear... I've been trying to remember, but I keep getting this splitting headache whenever I do try... and then my thoughts almost forcefully shunted to focus on other things when the pain gets to be too much... I-"
His claws tightened around my throat, cutting off my rambling. The grip was strong enough that I winced, bucking briefly beneath him. It was a battle to remain limp, to not struggle more than that single abortive movement. I had the distinct feeling that I'd be in far worse trouble than what I was already in. Honestly, I hadn't been here long, but even I could tell that one does not challenge a pissed-off Kain, even if one is willingly 'under his rule.' Not if you wanted to remain alive and in his good graces.
Fuck. I knew that I'd gotten myself into a weird relationship. Kain was a bloody Warlord. He wasn't going to coddle and shelter a lover. He'd be more likely to expect more from such a person. To hold me to the same, if not higher, standards than the people who made up his armies. If he believed for a moment that I had actually, willingly betrayed him for any reason...
But I hadn't... I hadn't!
Kain sniffed at the air, his grip loosening by a hair's breadth. I blinked up at him, gasping for air. The next thing I knew, my back and left shoulder hit the far wall. I caught myself with a groan and managed not to slump down to the floor in a heap, head reeling. I'd been thrown so hard and fast that I hadn't even realized that I'd been thrown until I had hit the blasted stone. Thankfully, I was resilient enough and had been tossed around enough that the impact didn't exactly hurt.
I tried to push myself back to my feet, only to freeze when I felt the sharp tip of the Soul Reaver brush against my neck in a light, nicking caress. I twitched warily as that tugging sensation started all over again.
"Perhaps you are nothing more than a weak-minded fool then?" he asked in a dark tone. He tilted his head, staring down at me with cold, blue-gold eyes.
Yeah... how to respond to this without getting myself killed for being a smart ass? I thought bitterly.
In the end, I kept my mouth shut rather than say anything, despite my racing thoughts. My eyes flickered upward briefly in a glare through my short hair, but I looked away quickly enough when Kain bared his fangs in a warning display. He was the Alpha here, and we both knew it...
It's not like I'm used to the magic of this world, for fuck's sake, I thought angrily to myself, claws scratching against the stone floor. It's not like I'm from another fucking realm or anything-oh wait! I am! How in the hell am I supposed to know how to sense such magics, let alone defend against them when I've had no training in such things?
The Reaver abruptly moved away from my throat. I blinked in surprise and looked up just enough so that I could watch him sheath it at his back. Although the blade was no longer at my neck, I stayed completely still. Best not to let my guard down. He said nothing for so long that I risked meeting his gaze. I blinked. Why did he look... amused? Oh, he still looked angry, but...
Ah, shit... had I been inadvertently Whispering my thoughts? Had he heard what I'd been thinking? Embarrassing, if true. It didn't help that I wasn't used to communicating in such a fashion. Why would I be? I'd had no one to safely talk to using the Whisper. As such, I had no way to tell if I had been projecting my thoughts for him to hear. Not that such a thing would be a bad thing in this case. My ineptitude with the ability might have actually saved my ass...
Kain turned around abruptly, moving over to the door. He paused with his hand on the handle. He didn't look back at me but instead spoke over his shoulder.
"A group of Sarafan soldiers has recently been making themselves known as pests in the canyons where we hunt bandits and others of ill-repute," He said, voice as cold as ice. "Go and eliminate them. Alone. We will speak afterward."
With that rather abrupt order issued, he turned and left the room. I remained crouched and leaning against the wall, staring after him in shock. That was... Holy shit. I was alive? Not only that, but he had decided to send me out into the field to deal with what was possibly a large number of soldiers on my own?! Without any backup?! I stood up and let out a sigh.
Now that I thought about it, I had managed to take out a few large groups of soldiers by myself. But I'd also been badly wounded each time. Why was he... ah. I think I got it. I let out a small huff. It was either prove myself and obey him by killing the Sarafan mentioned, getting myself killed trying to obey orders, or being stupid and trying to run off. Kain was testing me.
Well, I knew one thing for certain, I wasn't going to run. I hadn't done anything wrong. Still... I sighed and rubbed at my face, the lingering headache still pounding behind my eyes. A group of Sarafan in the canyons, eh? And I needed to find and kill them on my own? Sounded like so much fun...
Fuck, shit and damnation! I cursed mentally. This was going to suck...
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