AN:...whoa it's been a while I'm soooo freaking sorry I can't even begin to tell you how much! Between recovering from my surgery, depression, panic attacks, my dog dying from cancer, and my sister almost ready to give birth to my niece, real life has been kicking my ass! Lol so I'm really sorry for the delay! Thank you to all the patient people who reviewed, and messaged me :) I really appreciate the effort and affection for this story that you guys have! This chapter has a song inspiration to listen to if any of you are interested, just switch the gender from "little girl" in the lyrics to "little boy" and "her" to "him"

Chapter Song Inspiration:

Losing Your Memory- By Ryan Star

Things were a blur really, quite literally speaking mind you.

As in his vision was clouded from the pain medication slowly ebbing down from the flow of the iv attached to his arm.

That and the bits of sleep still hovered over him like a heavy cloak layering deep within his bones.

Confusion was an emotion he was quite sure he might have to make room for almost semi-permanently in his mind in the near future.

For when he had awoken, he had felt safe but startled all at the very same time.

The warm grip of another larger slightly sweat coated palm was clasped tightly within his own, which was puzzling in it's own right.

For whom could he be connected to on such a strong emotional level to do something so overly affectionate to beside Marie?

That being said he was pretty sure on first inspection before having opening his eyes that this hand was very much male in origin.

They were nice hands over all.

Well callused strong and firm hands, conveying more emotion than words could ever seem to in this singular moment lost seemingly forever to time.

For once his eyes fluttered open, the magic spell of warmth and security popped like the flimsy body of a soap bubble being pricked by finger of a curious child.

The lights seemed to assault him all at once even though they were set on low dimness.

Sunlight was streaming through the cracks in the blinds dappling the walls, and the person sitting next to him.

Alarmed but happy emerald orbs stared down at him, from the tan face of Kevin Barr.

Kevin himself looked worse for wear, even though it was him laying in the hospital bed.

The red head's tan had faded to a neutral peach color, and dark circles of too little sleep lined his wide eyes.

The jock's auburn tresses were messy resting in a very probably most unintentional sexy bed head sort of look.

Hearing his name passing from Kevin's lips in relief tinged worry, confusion over took his own cyan gaze.

Why was Kevin here?

Why was he here for that matter?

What had happened to land him in the hospital?

He licked his very chapped lips, K-Kev...in...? Wat...you...doi...ng...'ere?" He slurred at the end his voice raspy sounding much to his dislike.

Glassy tear veiled green eyes suddenly glared down at him with an all too familiar similar anger that he remembered from their childhood.

Standing up abruptly the chair screeched back a few spaces away from the bed with Kevin's quickness.

"Idiot...where else would I be?!" The auburn haired teen voiced roughly as if hurt by the question it's self.

He shook his head in more confusion, he gripped his hands against the scratchy thin blankets covering his lower half.

Before he could reply who he assumed was his doctor swept into the room trailed by two nurses.

In a flurry of dizzying activity Kevin was lead out of the room, as the doctor began checking him over and asking him questions.

Apparently...it was December and he'd been in a coma for a month or so.

The doctor who introduced himself as was a man in his late thirties.

As the nurses took his vitals, as the doctor explained the accident to him.

A reported hit and run, no witnesses had come forward.

He had had a severe head injury, a semi threatening spinal injury that was healing quite nicely according to the doctor but even with future physical therapy could possibly lead to a permanent limp.

And the worst of it all?

The memory loss, might also be permanent.

He may never get back the time stolen from him.

And he may never find out why Kevin gave him that pained look, or why he'd been here in the first place waiting for him to wake as if he...

As if he cared...?

But that couldn't be right...

Could it?

The tell tale click of three inch heels tapping the hospital floor was enough to send chills down his spine.

He'd kind of hoped, Edd's father would be the first to be told about the raven waking up.

But no, fate was a bitch as always.

Isabelle Vincent, dressed as elegantly as always moved with the grace of an evil cat.

Her icy blue gaze finding his in seconds of her arrival her ruby red lips quirked upward in a false sugar coated smile in greeting, "I suppose I should be thankful you were there when he woke hmm? I wouldn't have wanted my son to wake up alone and scared."

Swallowing down the thick feeling in his throat he simply glared and nodded and he spoke heatedly with scathing anger, "Someone had to be there, it's not like I expected you to be here. I'm actually kinda surprised you showed up even now."

Her eyes widened marginally as if taken a back by his barbed words or that he had spoken against her at all to begin with.

But she returned to her cool and collected self within seconds of it happening making him question if it had ever happened to begin with.

Patting down her gray slacks free of invisible lint, she merely smirked, "Yes well, what parent would I be if I didn't come to my child's side in his hour of need? Besides, your time is almost up . In fact according to the doctor your time might already be gone."

Her smile turned positively poisonous with wicked glee, "Partial amnesia I think was his diagnosis? Of the past month and a half if I remember his words correctly over the phone. Eddward remembers nothing past his father and I leaving for our business trips. Tragic really, I do wish you the best ."

And with that she swiftly walked past him abruptly ending the conversation and sending several strategically placed stabs at his heart.

His heart raced and banged against his rib cage like a startled rabbit's.

The sound of blood rushing filled his ears, and he felt as if the floor had fallen away from out under him.

A tight panicked fear clawed at his insides.

Amnesia?

He didn't remember?

Anything...

Everything that had happened, all the good and bad...

All the laughter, the tears, the joking flirtation that lead to so much more.

Was suddenly forever...

Simply gone, just like it had never happened in the first place.

Tears welled in his eyes clouding the white hospital surroundings around him, and he gripped his chest as he collapsed into a chair in the waiting room not caring about the looks he got.

Oh gods, what was this feeling?

Why did it suddenly hurt to breathe?

Is this what love is supposed to feel like?

Cause it fucking hurt like hell.

Sneakers skidding to a halt in front of him and the out of breath jerks of air escaping the lungs of someone who had run very fast jerked him out of his thoughts.

He wasn't sure how long he'd been in the waiting room, but judging by the darkness outside and the lamp light of the parking lot it must have been hours.

Rosemary's worried eyes stared into his own, "Kevin...where have you been?! You weren't answering your phone young man and...and..." She trailed off at the sight of his red rimmed blood shot eyes.

"Ma...he doesn't...remember me, not the right me anyway..." His voice was rough and thick with suppressed tears and grief.

Her eyes welled with her own tears and softened, "Oh baby..." She sat next to him and enveloped him into her warm arms.

He clung to her like the over grown child he was, "Ma it hurts, so fucking bad...I dunno what to do..."

His hiccuping breaths echoed the room as his whole body shook in her hold.

She merely smoothed out his bangs and brought her forehead to his and kissed his temple.

"Is this what love is Ma? Cause I'm not sure I want to feel this...it sucks ass..." He spoke weakly.

Laughing wetly against his neck Rosemary rubbed his back soothingly and spoke gently, "I always felt love was a beautifully wicked thing. It can be warm, giving you life like the sun would to the world. We bask in it stupidly and splendidly jumping head first into it, we get lost in that lovely feeling sometimes."

She paused and gathered her next words carefully, "And it can also be very painful, like a sickness infecting the very core of your body, some say it's like a disease that inflicts vast amounts of pain to anyone who comes in contact with it. But you know what I think?"

He stayed silent and leaned back some looking at her quietly in pained confusion his eyes glassy with tears.

She smiled sadly, "Love is a blessing to have, and to experience. Good or bad, you should cherish the time you had...the feelings that you felt and still feel. Treasure those, because they are yours and yours alone, no one can take those from you but yourself."

Wiping his eyes with the back of his hand he sighed heavily, "Why do you have to make so much sense?"

Winking Rosemary flicked his forehead, "Because I'm a mom, we are always right even when you don't understand the advice we give fully."

He snorted.

"So...are you going to give up? Just like that?" She blinked at him.

His brow furred together, "He doesn't remember me Ma, what can I do? I'm not a doctor I can't fix him...and maybe...maybe it's better he doesn't remember."

Glaring at her son Rosemary smacked him upside the head with a resounding whap sound.

"Owwww! What the hell!" He rubbed his abused head ruffling his messy hair in the process, it was his turn to glare in return.

"Now, that's not the Kevin I know, the Kevin I know wouldn't give up on anything he cared so much about! Hell you learned how to ride a bike without training wheels in one day! You came in bloodied and bruised with a shit eating grin on your tiny lil face but you learned."

"...Ma this isn't like learning how to ride a bike." He tried to reason.

"What I'm trying to say is, the best things in life are hard to get. If you wanna give up on the best thing that could ever happen to you...go right ahead, but remember you will never find this again. Not in the same way at least."

He glared at his hands clamped over his knees.

Leaning over to kiss his forehead Rosemary smiled sadly again, "I'll respect your choice Kev, but take it from me. You never really get back a love like this. Don't regret, don't wait until he's out of reach and it's too late."

Standing up she patted his head like a child, "I'll wait in the car."

Walking out to the parking lot she left him alone to his own thoughts.

This wasn't something he could fix thought, he was sure of that.

But maybe...

Maybe he didn't have to "fix" anything.

If Edd didn't have memories of him, they could make some right?

He stood up and rubbed his arm over his itchy and painfully red eyes, "Fuck...I've got it bad huh?"

Shaking his head he exited the hospital and walked into the night air, with a resolve to make things right even if it didn't turn out the way he planned.

At least he would try.

And that's all he could really do at this point.

Try.