Mass x Acceleration

By Dixxy Mouri

Chapter Eighteen: Deltana

Four years earlier . . .

Sanji followed Tanya down the hall towards the spare bathrooms – they were mostly used as backups for when the restaurant was really crowded ,or if there was a problem with the normal ones. Tonight had a steady but normal flow of customers and the regular restrooms were running perfectly, so the extra restrooms and the surrounding hallways were completely deserted. Tanya was leaning against the door to the spare woman's room, her arms crossed and a playful look on her face. "I've been eyeing you for weeks, cutie," she said.

The young cook felt his heart melt. She DID like him. "I've noticed," he said, trying to be smooth.

The young women looked both ways down the hall – Sanji followed suit, not sure what she was looking for. Once it appeared she was satisfied, Tanya grabbed his wrist and put a finger to her lips. She was smiling mischievously, but the cook was oblivious to her intentions. "Come on – if we're doing this we need to be quiet."

Sanji cocked his head to the side. "Do what, exactly?"

The girl rolled her eyes. "The door locks and people don't come down here. Privacy, duh."

"You want to . . ." He was going to say "make out" (that warranted privacy, right?), but Sanji felt his heart nearly stop when he saw the young woman pull a shiny foil packet out of her purse – THAT was used for more than just locking lips and frisky fingers and he suddenly realized Tanya was moving a lot faster than he realized.

Tanya winked. "Yeah. That."

Sanji's palms started to sweat. They'd barely spent any time alone and already she wanted to go this far? His head was a mess – he was still a virgin, so this would be first time. Did he really want it to happen this way? Was this normal? Or had he just done something really, really right to get her this interested this quickly?

Still . . .

"In . . . the bathroom? Here? Now? But we've-"

"Discreet," she said. "It's more exciting that way."

Sanji shook his head. "Look, I actually kind of live here so if you'd rather go to my room-"

Tanya shushed him. "We don't have time for that. Come on, hurry!"

Sanji swallowed, looking behind him as he followed her into the restroom.

The following day, Sanji offered to pick up Tanya's tab – she ate well that evening and thanked him with a kiss on the cheek. The cook had beamed. He was in love. He was okay that he lost his virginity in a bathroom stall because he had a girlfriend who kissed him and said he was good looking and well, that was all right, wasn't it? The other chefs had talked amongst themselves about unusual hookups they'd had in the past, and this was no different.

Except that it had been his first.

Two days after, Tanya showed up with another guy – the son of a merchant ship captain.

Confused and hurt, Sanji waited for this other man to excuse himself before taking a seat across from her. He was a little surprised to see she was staring at him kind of funny, but found every last ounce of gall he had and forced himself to finish what he'd started. There had to be a logical explanation for this – right? They'd shared something special, hadn't they?

"Tanya, what's going on?" he asked. "Who is that guy and what are you doing here with him?" Tanya stared at him blankly as Sanji reached across the table and took her hands. He tried not to panic, and kept talking. "Are you being forced into a marriage with him or something? Because I'll kick his ass if that's-"

"I don't want you to kick his ass and no I'm not being forced into marrying him."

"Then why are you on a date with him?" asked Sanji. "Tanya, please, I-"

Tanya blinked, then covered her mouth. "Wait, wait, you thought . . . me and you?"

Sanji felt the color drain from his face. "We're . . . not . . . together?"

That was the moment things started to get ugly. "Why the hell would I date some stupid cook in a dumb restaurant? This guy makes more in a day than you make in a month," said Tanya, holding back laughter. Sanji didn't think this was funny at all and could feel his stomach starting to lurch. "You didn't think that thing in the bathroom a few days ago was serious, did you?"

". . . that was my first time," he said in a hushed whisper. Maybe she'd realize that she was hurting him, and maybe she could at least apologize, and maybe they could still, at least, be friends. If it was just a misunderstanding, he thought he could live with that. His heart was racing, and he wasn't sure if he should be crying or yelling. "Yes, I thought it was serious."

"Explains why it was over so quick, Speedy," said Tanya, sighing as she rolled her eyes.

". . . but I thought we had something!" Sanji hissed back.

"Baby, is this waiter bothering you?" Sanji turned to see that Tanya's date had returned, looking annoyed with his presence at the table. Tanya simply played with her hair and pouted. The other man ripped the chair out from under Sanji, sending him tumbling away from the table and getting the attention of the other patrons. Too shocked and heartbroken to do anything, Sanji didn't move as the other man placed his foot on his chest and pressed down. "Let me explain your place. Your job is to take our ORDERS, bring us our FOOD, and have a smile on your FACE the entire TIME. Got it, punk? Now go get our salads before I complain to the owner."

"C'mon, Sanji, you're not going to take that from him!"

"Yeah, get him!"

"Whoo-hoo!"

Sanji ignored their regulars as he stood, brushed himself off, and silently headed into the kitchen.

He cried himself to sleep that night.

Present Day

Deltana walked up to Sanji and crossed her arms. "Fancy seeing you here," she said.

Sanji was at a loss for words. It was like watching a dream. She looked a little bit older, yes, but it had been four years since he'd seen her. Her hair was a bit longer and her makeup was a bit heavier, but it was her. He'd recognize those eyes and that voice anywhere. "I . . . didn't think I'd ever see you again," he said.

Braeburn exchanged a quizzical look with Jimmy. Darryl raised an eyebrow.

"I didn't think I'd see you again, either, Speedy," said Deltana.

The cook paled and felt his throat go dry.

"I'll give you credit – you can sing, and you can definitely still cook – I thought I recognized last week's beef barley, just like I used to get it back at the Baratie," said Deltana, drumming her fingers on her arms. "Quick, cheap, and easy – or was that something else? Care to remind me, Speedy?" The grin on her lips was dripping with malice.

Jimmy looked confused. "Sanji, do you and Deltana know each other?"

Deltana slid next to him and draped an arm around his shoulder – Sanji tried to recoil away, but she dug her nails into his arm. "Oh yes, we know each other. Because we've fucked. I'm sorry, did you idiots try to get away from my influence with your new singer? Sorry to burst your bubble . . . or pop your man cherries . . . but looks like that plan didn't work out very well."

"Deltana, shut up," said Braeburn, pushing Jimmy and Darryl aside to confront the woman.

"Oh please, you idiots thought you could clean up your act with him? First of all, sex sells, and the music business is no difference, so you're stupid for thinking you could get away from that. Second, you picked a guy who's probably had way more hookups than I've had – his reputation back in the East Blue preceded him for a while. 'For a good meal and a mediocre time call Sanji'. I saw that scrawled on the walls of more women's bathrooms than I can remember. Damn good cook, piss poor with his-"

"Stuff it!" Jimmy snarled – Darryl held him back.

Sanji watched in horror as the other members of the band reacted, and he hid his face in his hands as he thought back on his sexual history. He'd had a lot of one time encounters, often in places of convenience like broom closets or his partner's boat or isolated places on the Baratie where no one would bother them, and it occurred to him that very few of his partners had ever even seen his old bedroom. Every time, Sanji hoped that she would be different and that she wouldn't use him like the others had – there must be a girl out there who wouldn't use him like Tanya or Stacey or Fujiko or Lauren or all the others did. In the end, though, they all got free meals and rarely dealt with him again. None of them had loved him – not a one. He was a cheap, easy way to get lunch, and he did it all with a smile and a swoon.
Sanji realized that he'd fucked up big time. He was never going to get married. Women saw him as a means to an end for a free meal – he couldn't even give them children anymore, thanks to That Man (hell, because of him, they might see him as "that freak with two Devil Fruits"). Why would anyone want him for a boyfriend or a lover or a husband? No one would.

Sanji wanted to find a hole to crawl into and die. Oh God. I'm a slut.

"What does any of that matter? At least he shows up to practice sober and with his pants on," said Braeburn. He was lording his height and size over Deltana in an attempt to get her to back off – the chivalrous part of Sanji's brain was offended that Braeburn would stoop to this, but the blacksmith's motives were not lost of him and he held his tongue. "Something that you weren't so good at the last few months you were in the band. I'd say he's doing a fantastic job and I don't think he's had so much as a date since coming here to Apple Island, so lay off!"

"I think we all made it pretty fucking clear a couple of months ago you're out – dragging out Sanji's dirty laundry is not going to make what happened go away," said Jimmy, crossing his arms and glaring at Deltana. "So what? Sounds like it's probably ancient history, and those looks he's giving you aren't guilty ones so I'm guessing whatever went wrong was your fault."

Darryl was glaring coldly at their former vocalist, not needing a word to convey his disgust.

It didn't change how Sanji was feeling. Had this happened before, he wouldn't need someone to jump to his defense. He could have handled this on his own. Or, then again, the old him might have tried to go back to her, even knowing how she viewed him. That might have been even worse, and he felt his throat go dry at the thought.

"Boys, we fucked in a public restroom - how he was dumb enough to think that meant something is beyond me, and his boo-hooing a few days later? Pathetic. 'But it was my first time! I thought you were serious!' Wah, wah, wah," Deltana spat. Sanji clenched his eyes shut – he couldn't stomach what kind of looks he might have received from the other members of the band.

"You. Get out. NOW!" Braeburn bellowed.

Despite it all, Sanji just wanted to crawl into a hole. Everyone, please stop talking.

"Oh come on, isn't he fucking the mayor's assistant?" said Deltana.

"No I'm not!" Sanji snapped – she was NOT dragging Nami into this. "We aren't like that!"

Sanji felt his heart jump into his throat. That was true. They weren't like that.

. . . and that's not going to change.

Nami was his friend – that's all she'd ever be. She wouldn't possibly want him. Not with the way he'd treated her (and every other pretty woman they'd encountered) before they'd been kidnapped. Not if she found out how . . . sordid . . . his sexual history was. He'd been stupid to think anything was changing between them. He was lucky they were friends at all. There was no way she'd entertain the idea of being with him as more than that.

"Deltana. Leave. Now," Braeburn threatened sternly, one arm pointed at the closest exit. "You're not performing tonight, so you have no reason to be back here. Stop harassing Sanji – you're not getting back in the band and acting like this wouldn't help your cause even if you had a chance. Get out of here NOW."

Deltana stuck her nose up and strutted away, glaring back at the band cruelly.

"Sanji . . . are you okay?" asked Jimmy, waving his hand in front of his face.

"I . . . I need some time alone," Sanji said slowly, lowering his head to wander off.

The remaining members of Turnover exchanged worried glances.

Nami waited patiently for Sanji by the entrance to the Cider Mug, happily holding her purse in front of her as she bounced a little in place to the music now playing. A few people were still around swaying to the music, but a lot of them had left at the end of the live performance. This is a working community, after all . . . guess they all have work in the morning. She cracked a grin. Still, that was so great!

Though she considered herself a woman of many talents, music was not something Nami considered herself particularly well versed in . . . especially after her audition for the band had gone so poorly. That didn't change her opinion of Sanji's performance – he was really good up there and left her more than a little pleasantly surprised. Even if he'd missed every other note, Nami couldn't tell the difference, nor did she particularly care – she liked what she heard . . .

. . . and what I saw.

Although he'd been nervous at first, Sanji had found his confidence for the second song. Although not doing anything particularly complicated, he was moving around a little and using the microphone and its stand to his advantage, swaying and swinging his hips in time with the music when called for. He was smiling brighter by the end of it, and seemed a little tired but satisfied when he and the band took their bow after the last number was over.

Now she just needed to make sure she didn't lose her own confidence.

Sanji made her happy and why shouldn't she be happy? Part of the point of being on the island was to help them recover from what That Man did to them and shouldn't finding things that made them happy be a part of that? It wasn't like they needed to jump into the deep end right away or anything, maybe just go out to lunch and acknowledge it was a date-date and not a two-friends-having-lunch-thing. They could worry about more intimate things like making out or – Nami shuddered a little – making love – later on.

Still, what was taking them so long? It had been close to a half hour – Sanji said he didn't think it would be that long after their set was done that they'd meet her and they'd decide where to go from there. Maybe they just got caught up talking after the show? Getting frustrated and a little impatient, Nami started to weave through the crowd to get to the backstage area.

Once she got there (after having squeezed between a particularly frisky couple and an oblivious drunk), she found Jimmy sitting by himself, looking around in worry. When he saw Nami he got to his feet and went over to her. "I'm so sorry, Miss Nami, are you looking for Sanji?"

"Yeah – is everything okay?"

Jimmy avoided eye contact. "Um, not exactly. Uh, if he wants to give you the details I've leave it up to Sanji, but he and our old vocalist exchanged some words and after she took off in a huff, he took off to 'be alone' – he looked really depressed, so Darryl and Braeburn went after him." Nami listened to the story with concern.

Shit. Deltana DID do something. But what?

"They 'exchanged some words'? What exactly happened?" asked Nami.

"It got a little personal," said Jimmy. "Apparently Sanji and Deltana know each other."

"Huh? But Sanji said he'd never met her before when we talked about it before," said Nami.

"That's what he thought, yeah, but when he knew her she was going by a nickname," the drummer said somberly. "Has he ever mentioned a 'Tanya'?" Nami shook her head. "Well, apparently Deltana still has a big affect on him – he was really, really down when he left. She said some really mean things to him."

Before they could continue any further, Braeburn and Darryl appeared with Sanji sandwiched between them, their arms over his shoulders as they encouraged him to "not let her get to him" and "forget about her she's a stupid pants", with the blacksmith doing all of the talking and the guitarist being as sympathetic as he could. Nami rushed over to Sanji, planting herself directly in front of him. He paused, looked up, and just stared at her sadly.

"Sanji-kun, what's wrong?"

"I'm sorry," he said.

Nami bit her lip. "Braeburn, mind if I take Sanji home now?"

"I was going to suggest that, actually," said Braeburn.

Nami wrapped her arms around Sanji for a hug. She froze when he didn't return it.

Sanji-kun . . . what's wrong?

Author's Notes

I wanted to start off by thanking everyone who left reviews offering their prayers and thoughts (and if anyone out there didn't feel comfortable commenting but is keeping me in their thoughts and prayers anyways, thank you to you, too!). Thank you so, so much. As things happen that I'm comfortable sharing I'll toss you guys an update every so often.

I've had two chemo treatments so far (I get them every other week). My step dad and best friend collaborated on a buzz cut almost a week ago and the timing on that was good. I have two wigs and a "bangs" piece (which is meant to go under a hat or scarf to look like bangs) and I might get a halo or two (halos are like bangs, but with hair on the sides and back). I've been tired a lot, too, but I'm trying to get out and about where I can.

Again, thank you so much for your support, thoughts, and prayers.

Dixxy