Chapter 9 – Nightmare
I feel like I have neglected Alice a bit in the last chapters. This is her story too. And it's not pretty (Rated T for a reason). The next chapter will be less dark, promise ^^'
It's just a silent snap in the darkness, the sound of their bedroom door opening. But it's the worst sound in her life. Her body tenses up, like she can already feel his hand on her skin. She writhes under her blankets, pretending to be asleep, eyes close so hard she can see stars on the inside of her eyelids. But it doesn't work. It never does.
He walks to her side of the bed and leans over. She can smell the whiskey in his breath and the smoke on his cloth. Sometimes she can hear his brother in the background, his rough breathing and the belt unbuckling, but this time it's just him.
"I know you ain't sleeping, you little bitch," he mumbles. "Now, get up and give your husband the welcome home he deserves…"
She doesn't scream, when he grabs her, because if she does, he pushes her head down the madras, so she is close to suffocation. All she can do, is to just stay still and hope she will survive this time too. Just lay there and let him take what he wants from her terrified body.
"You're the worst wife a husband could ever ask for!" he sneers, before letting her go again. "Even God knows that. Why do you think He won't give you any children? Why did He make you sick? Because He too knows you're a failure…"
And she can no longer smell the alcohol in his breath, but also the hate in his heart and she tries to understand, what she has done to deserve this…
Alice awoke with a jump, eyes wide open and the air stuck in her throat. The nightmare had paralyzed her body with fear, so she could hardly move and in the dimness above her, she could almost see the fading silhouette of her late husband leaning over her…
He's not here, she told herself, squeezing her eyes shot. He's gone… he's gone…
She didn't dare look again, until her panicking heart had slowed down and she could once more breath freely without the feeling of his hands around her neck…
The Mile was very silent. The only sounds in the semidarkness, was a distant snoring and the soft crackle from a newspaper page being turned. Carefully, she pushed herself up against the raw bricks of the wall and removed the blankets.
They had moved her. She was no longer in the last cell, next to the restraint room, but had been placed in what used to be Arthur Flanders cell. Mr. Flanders had been transferred to C Block just a couple of hours earlier, so the guards decided to move her closer to the front desk, so it was easier to keep an eye on her. She didn't mind. She was nearer the big window now; in the late afternoon, she had a spot of sunlight right at the end of her bunk.
"Miss Alice?" The old guard at the desk, Mr. Terwilliger, sounded surprised to see her awake at this hour. "Everything's all right?"
"Oh, don't mind me," she said, slowly moving to the tiny sink underneath the narrow, barred window in her cell. "It's the old legs keeping me awake."
She turned on the tap. The chilly water hitting her skin, made goose bumps crawl down her spine and cleared her head. She sighed. In her minds' eye, the nightmare faded until it was nothing but a weak impression in her thoughts…
"Miss Alice?"
She flinched. Mr. Terwilliger was standing next to the cell, a cup of piping hot liquid in one hand.
"Here," he said, handing it trough the bars. "Tea and honey always do wonders for my stiff knee. And what else that might bother me."
She hesitated, before turning of the water and reaching out for the cup. She was halfway expecting him to yank it back and laugh at her naivety, but he didn't. She clasped the warm porcelain in both hands.
"Thank you," she whispered.
He smiled. "Jus' remember to give the cup back to me, before Paul finds out I make difference between the inmates."
Moments later, when she was sitting under the woolen blanket, sipping hot tea, she asked herself, why she hadn't meet someone like Harry Terwilliger, back when she was young and unmarried. How different would her life have been?
How come she hadn't seen the warnings with Tom, the little signs, before it was too late?
Because she had been in love with him. There had been a time, when his mouth whispered soft words in her ears and his hands could make her body shiver in excitement. He promised her the moon, if she would just allow him to be her husband. And she did.
But what she married, wasn't the man with the kind heart. It was the beginning of a monster.
Alice closed her eyes. He was dead – they were dead – but it would never stop. Even from the other side, he would continue to destroy her. In her dreams. In her mind.
The only thing that could give her peace, would be her own death.
He knew that. It was the only thing he wanted.
And he always got it his way. Always.