Memories
Lessons with Xixy
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Tora sighed as she walked down the corridor. Everything was slightly out of control right now. Fights, anti-mutant sentiment at a high, Jamie with colic... She pressed her hand to the fingerprint sensitive gel on the door to Xixy's private lab.
The door slid open and she padded into the huge room, with the blackboard at one end and various pieces of alien tech in various states of disassembly. The Alien Culture classes had quickly expanded to Alien Technology, Alien Tactics and Humanity–As Seen from the Stars. Xixy, in his human form, an imposing seven-foot tall hulk of a man who sometimes forgot to get rid of his neon orange colour, was sitting in a chair, gazing down what looked like a microscope. This time however he'd remembered he was supposed to be a different colour. He glanced up as she walked over to him.
"Greetings Tora."
She smiled.
"Hey Xixy."
"I don't understand why you don't call me by my full name."
"Xixswalstar on it's own is a bit of a mouthful. Calling you by even your shorthand version of your titles takes about three minutes. Heaven knows how long your full name takes."
"My full name, including all my titles, used only at extremely important ceremonies, takes over eight of your hours to pronounce fully. Fifteen if the honorary pauses are included. For some reason though priests tend to rush it."
"I wonder why."
"You know, for our god, you are very flippant. To us, humour is considered a failing."
"You need humour to keep your mind Xixy. At times, I think everyone must be a little bit insane just to deal with this crazy world of ours."
"I must admit, your people are very interesting."
"Why thank you."
"That wasn't meant as a compliment."
"Xixy, the reason I'm down here is students are all flocking up to join your class and won't say why. Scott has ordered me to sit through a lesson. I thought you ought to know and you have to teach exactly as you would normally."
Xixy frowned.
"I do not understand. Would you object to me taking my normal form?"
"Go ahead."
His features melted away to become his gloopy orange goo. It stretched and expanded until he was the usual blob-like K'Meer. He hummed contentedly as small globules fly off him to various experiments around the room. Tora sighed. Sometimes she wished she could do as Xixy did and send off peripherals. His body was exceptionally adaptable, allowing him to stretch like Reed Richards and split himself in two or even three smaller bodies, whilst remaining in control of them all. However, severe dehydration caused him to dry out, and fire caused him to crack. The main section of his body settled into the specially moulded chair, taken out of his ship.
"Why do you wish to sit through my lesson?"
"Apparently I'm to make sure you aren't brainwashing them as to K'Meer superiority and the other major races such as the Shi'ar, Kree and Skrulls all get fair representation. Can I see your lesson plans?"
"Of course. This term we're studying the culture of the Watchers and their Code of Non-Interference."
Tora grinned and called up Xixy's lesson planner on the computer. K'Meer technology with a human HCI, making it easier for the others to study.
"I can't read K'Meer Xixy."
"Decrypt it. Third button along the second toolbar. The image of a blob turning into a human."
"Thanks."
She scanned the pages of text, reading Xixy's lesson plans and smiling slightly at the mentions of races she knew. However, one race was missing.
"Where's the K'Meer Xixy?"
"The whole of next year will be devoted to K'Meer culture, weaponry, legends and history."
"Xixy, if you had a sense of humour, I would think you just made a joke."
"I assure you Tora, I did not make a joke."
She sighed.
"I know. That's partly why it's funny. I'm going to get some hot drinks before the class starts. Want a coffee?"
"Please."
She pressed her hand to the gel and was allowed out again. She waited until she was halfway down the corridor before started to smile broadly. You could always rely on Xixy to cheer you up. He was so… Xixyish and his proud assertions of K'Meer superiority were slightly offset by the fact he had a habit of walking into things. Tora decided not to go all the way to the staff room and ducked into one of Hank's labs she knew had a coffee machine. She set up the two cups, one medium, milky coffee, no sugar for herself and a strong, black coffee with four sugars for Xixy. She balanced the two mugs in one hand and walked back to Xixy's lab. Xixy poured the drink straight into a gap in the goo and for a second, the neon orange was a darker brown. He made the fluttering of his edges that was the K'Meer equivalent of smiling.
"So, lessons start in three minutes. Where will you sit?"
"I'll stand at the back. By the way, appearance."
"Oh. Thanks. I almost forgot. Yesterday I had a student ask about my mutation!"
"Well, we have been quite quiet about housing an illegal alien for almost a year, even if you disappeared over summer."
"Huh?"
"Well, normally aliens have to register with the Avengers or the Fantastic Four. We may be one of the eldest hero teams but we don't carry the clout the others do. It's because we're mutants. We're planning to unveil you at some point, possibly after you help save the world and then no one else will mind. At least, that worked for Mar-Vell. And Radd…"
"Radd?"
"Norrin Radd? Zenn-Lavian? The Silver Surfer?"
"Oh. You know the Silver Surfer?"
"We're not on first name terms. We've met…four times, and the first three he pretty much passed right over me. The last time was in…August, at that meeting with Stephan… and he proceeded to drag me aside for a severe questioning about Dragon. Apparently, I've not been using anywhere near the amount of power needed to do whatever it is Dragon does."
"What did you say to that?"
"Frankly Surfer, I couldn't care less about what Dragon is supposed to do as at the moment, I'm getting used to being alive again. Excuse me, I have to go and speak to Jen about Bruce."
Xixy smirked as he became his humanoid self, with the neon hair and solid orange eyes.
"Pompous Zenn-Lavian."
"Says the man who last week told Tony Stark that his armour was primitive. That was stupid Xixy."
"It was true!"
"Yes, but here, the Iron Man armour is the most advanced combat suit on Earth, although War Machine has more guns."
"You have an extremely advanced combat suit that you call…Mandroids?"
"We stole them off a weapons dealer and added Shi'ar tech."
"Cerebo?"
"Improved a hundred-fold with Shi'ar enhancements."
"Blackbird?"
"Same again."
"Danger Room?"
"We used to have real lasers, forcefields, fans and so on. The Shi'ar holograms are so much safer."
"You had eighteen almost fatal wounds last week!"
"I was off form. Ol' Danger has safety parameters. That program is…almost sweet. She passed the Turing Test last month."
"She?"
"We chat. I interface myself with it's circuits and place stratagem onto it's hard disk. We compare fights and run through battles together. Sometimes I swear that program sentient. I just call it she because… I'm not sure why…"
She was saved difficult questions by the bell ringing. Smiling, she settled in a seat in the back as the class filed in. Xixy inflated as they sat silently, with their faces turned towards him. Then he smiled.
"Greetings. Today, this class will study the culture of the esteemed and gracious Watchers. The Watchers have a long and illustrious history. This is a Watcher."
A hologram flashed up, showing a face Tora had been briefly introduced to by Sue Richards.
"As a matter of fact, this is your Watcher. His name is Uatu and he has recently been placed on trial for breaking the Watcher Code of Non-Interference…"
Tora didn't so much listen to what Xixy was saying, as to how he said it. There was a great deal of care placed in how he spoke. He dictated and the students took notes, then questions could be posed. And finally, the dreaded question was asked.
"How do Watcher ships work?"
Xixy smiled.
"I will show you."
A table was cleared and then a convoluted piece of glassware was brought out. Frowning, Tora leant over to see what they were doing.
"The Watchers use warp drive technology. They…"
The students weren't listening to Xixy. Instead, they were grinning at each other, as if to say 'well done'. Then Xixy struck a match and they ran, diving under benches as the glass exploded, peppering Tora with glass and boiling liquid. She didn't scream, simply sighed, limped over to the First Aid kit on the wall and started tugging the glass out of the deep cuts and washing the liquid off her bare arms. Xixy looked up apologetically, his hair singed black and slight cracks appearing around his hands.
"It wasn't meant to do that."
"'S fibe. Jub wul-wickwes burbs an glabb wutb."
"Excuse me?"
She waited for her tongue and larynx to heal from the boiling liquid and glass, then tried again.
"It's fine. Just full-thickness burns and glass cuts."
Then she continued to remove the large bits of glass then turned to the students.
"Mr Summers' office. Now."
One student, braver than the rest spoke up.
"But Mrs Logan…"
"No buts Mr Keller. Office. Now. Else I'll send you to Miss Frost. And all of you are on after-school training with me and Logan for three days.
"But…"
"No buts. Go. Now."
Then she turned to look at Xixy.
"I hope that was a one off."
They laughed at the slightly sheepish look on Xixy's face.
"She was the only person to ever get a K'Meer to look embarrassed."
"Of course. Xixy pretty much worshipped the ground she walked on, even if she didn't realize it."
"Is that why the garden and bits of floorboard kept disappearing?"
"He was sending them back to Meer'K as holy relics."