Memories

Justice's Shadow

Disclaimer: What do you think? If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

She threw herself into the chair, hoping that she would have time to relax before the next lesson. She. Was. Going. To. Kill. Remy. What idiot took a year old infant on a thieving trip? Apparently, having a child made you look more trustworthy. At which point, Rogue had hit him over the head with a statue. The heavy, marble statue. At which point, Remy had tried to kiss her again and she'd hit him again. At which point she'd gone to Hank for the power suppressor.

She ended up slicing the curtains in an attempt to calm down. It didn't work. She was going to end up biting the kids' heads off. Then she did what always kept her calm and allowed the door to open. She slipped out, almost out of her head, with a thread of awareness keeping her tied to her reality.

Etana was in front of her, fussing over some last minute plan.

"I've managed to get in touch with a rabbi who's father owed me a favour. I can't believe I'm rushing this. I really should go through the entire long engagement. But I haven't got anyone to really care other than you and Logan."

"The others care Etana. We all care."

"Don't lie. They're going for Steve, not me. I heard them last night. 'Why's Steve with her? She's not right for him. I never thought Cap would sink so low'. It hurt Tora. It hurt. I'm not a hero or a friend to anyone. I'm just the Shadow, a necessary evil. The woman who's lived too long, seen too much. Do you know how many people I've killed? So, so many… I used to make a point of remembering their faces. Now only a few stand out… The first twenty or so. Men so evil I had no choice other than to dispense quick, unjust justice. You know why they never caught Jack the Ripper? It's because he was foolish enough to try to make a victim of the young woman who asked him to walk her home. I tricked him. He walked with me into the alley. Only I left. I scared him, terrified him. His last words were so…deep for a man so shallow. 'Are you an angel to punish me or a devil to bring me home?'"

She sounded bitter, so angry at what she was. And Tora couldn't help herself.

"What did you say?"

"I am Justice's Shadow. And you are guilty."

She was sitting quiet still except for her tail which curled up to her left hand. She took the imaginary knife and appeared to weigh it in her hand. Then she made a careful, precise movement that Tora knew would have hit directly into the chest, between the ribs and piercing the heart. Then Etana started muttering in her archaic form of Hebrew that was close enough to the modern version Tora had learned for her to know it was a prayer for forgiveness. And then Etana just got up and walked to the window. She moved her wings carefully, despite the resetting process having gone perfectly and she now had full movement again. A present from Steve. He'd taken her to a bird specialist who'd fixed her wings. She'd walked around with bandages for over a week and hadn't dared move her wings for a month. And then, Warren had taken her for a tentative flying lesson. And she'd started flying and then done a series of acrobatics that totally outclassed Warren. And the teacher-pupil thing was swapped, with her teaching him how to dive-bomb and how to fly so low that your wings would brush the earth. And Warren had landed, totally wiped-out and had gone off to get some painkillers for his wings. Etana had outflown him and outraced him. And then Steve had turned up and she'd grabbed him under his arms and flown up with him and when she landed he'd pulled her close and whispered something that had made her stiffen and she'd teleported away. Still holding him. And she'd come back under five minutes later, and ran walked upstairs. Jean had frowned, touched her thoughts and then gasped before going to congratulate Steve. And Tora had known before Steve had even made his quiet announcement.

"No more dark thoughts Etana. You're getting married in a month."

A bitter laugh.

"I was engaged once. My uncle had been killed and because I was the angel girl, I was sent to the court. And the king was clever. I was the angel girl. I was not for marrying. I was to be saved. But I could still please. Dancing, music, poetry. I could write better than many. So he made me, what could almost be… I've just realised. I was David's PA…"

Tora couldn't help but laugh at the look on Etana's face.

"I was his secretary…"

"Get on with the story 'Pepper'."

"That was cruel. Anyway, David soon saw my potential as a fighter. I ended up as his bodyguard. The soldiers weren't allowed in the palace. With me there was no problem. And then there was some king, although he was more a petty warlord, who came for some treaty. And we put on a show. I wasn't the best dancer but I was the most striking so I acted as prop for our most skilled. She'd leap, I'd catch, that sort of stuff. And when we'd finished, I went to my position as wine pourer. David grew up with Achav and Eitan. He trusted me. And the warlord saw that. He requested a wife for the treaty. David brought out his daughters. The warlord, I forget his name, refused them all. He wanted the angel girl. And David was mad. I was his scribe, his personal servant. His old friend's daughter. And I drew him aside. Get rid of him. Quickly, quietly. Pretend to agree and let me deal with him. I can make it look like an accident. I was good at engineering 'accidents'. The treaty was signed, and that night, the pillar over his bed collapsed. I was good at accidents. A more friendly warlord succeeded him. And I went back to my usual job. With the added opportunity of being an assassin. I did as I was told, killed those I was meant to. How else do you think David was so sure Uriah would die? I didn't question. I was his faithful little angel, who did all the jobs no one else would do. And then he made me his son's guard. Little Solomon. He was actually a bit like… a bit like Jamie, truth be told. Always wanting to know about things, always getting into trouble. I was always running around after him, trying to stop him getting into things. Most people would be upset to have been 'demoted'. I wasn't though. I'd been promoted. David adored Solomon. And when David died, he made me swear to care for his son, as he had cared for me. By then, my place as an angel had been firmly cemented. I'd been fifteen when David took me in. I still looked about twenty five. I guarded Solomon, did all the dirty jobs. To most people, nothing had changed. But it had. I was his surrogate mother. He listened to what I said. I could twist him round my finger if I had to. And then when he died, I left. I'd sworn to David I would look after Solomon. I hadn't said anything about Solomon's children. And I went all around the world. Saw beautiful and terrible things. Went back to Jerusalem every year. And I was glad I'd left. For about three decades I just wandered, ignoring all the suffering. I told myself I'd already seen too much. And then Azazel came to me. He wanted me to join him. I ran and found the Cheyarafim. They didn't trust me but they told me about my father. And I decided to fight him. Then my eyes were opened, really opened. And I became the Shadow. You know, that is an abbreviation. My real name was Justice's Shadow. I would follow and deal with those conventional methods couldn't punish. And gradually, the number I killed rose. I don't know how many people I've killed."

She seemed sad.

"Etana, you fight for a reason. You've never killed someone unless there is no other option."

"Really?"

Tora couldn't think of anything to say to that. So she tried to cheer Etana up.

"Think of it this way. How many lives have you saved?"

Etana's silver eyes didn't change. Tora could only see the reflection and then she smiled slightly.

"I can't even count the lives I've saved. And I remember every single face."

"Then remember them."

And Etana turned and smiled properly.

"Thank you."

Tora slid back into her mind. She wasn't angry at Remy anymore. How could you be, when you'd just heard about an old friend's past?

"The Shadow got married?"

"Yes. Didn't you know Death?"

"That means I have to face up to Destiny. I bet that she would never get married, in any reality."

Phoenix frowned.

"You made a bet with Destiny? Irene Adler?"

"No. Destiny Destiny."

"Oh. That Destiny."

A.N. Wow. Chapter 75... I'm actually shocked I've managed to write this much. I thought it would be over in under thirty chapters, seeing as the plan was only about thirty pages long. And now I'm reaching 210 pages on my word processor! This is...worrying because I'm still nowhere near wrapping this up.