A/N A huge thanks to my friend and beta OoJasper'sAngeloO for helping me with this story. Not much going on, but we are starting to see that some of the family is seeing Jasper differently, until he gets pissed off. We also get to find out who the real monsters are. Hope you enjoy.

I do not own Twilight or the characters, I do own Catherine and the plot.

Jasper's POV

I knew that her clothes would be coming sometime later today, but when she asked if we could find something to do that we didn't need clothes for, well, I felt something I hadn't felt in so fucking long that I think I forgot what it felt like, lust.

Not from her, from me. I know that the question was an innocent one, but I'm still a man. Like I said, Alice and I had never done anything more than me bringing her pleasure. I hadn't had anyone excite me since shortly after I left Maria. She was a nomad, it was just two vampires needing a release.

The couple of females that I had a chance with were willing until they saw my scars. They changed their minds real quick once my shirt had been undone. I never even got it off, just unbuttoned. After the last one, I never tried again.

Now, I had all kinds of lustful thoughts going through my head. I knew that I needed to nip that shit in the bud. There was just no way that this simple, beautiful, tiny woman would ever be interested in me. That's what my head kept telling me, my heart kept reminding me that this pretty lil' gal is indeed my mate.

We decided to find out what some of the things was that we enjoyed doing. Mine of course was reading. It was the only thing that I really enjoyed doing that I was allowed to actually do. I had a guitar that I had brought here. Alice threatened to throw it in the trash. Apparently, only hillbillies played them.

When she told me what she enjoyed doing, I was kind of surprised. Her adopted parents had been able to let her take piano lessons as she grew up. We didn't have a piano here, but I would sure as hell buy one if she wanted to play. She said that she used to spend hours playing. She said that most people found it strange that someone who was hard of hearing could play a piano.

She also enjoyed reading, as well as playing board games. She had also taken dance lessons and learned what she called expressive dancing. We talked about maybe her teaching me a routine and us dancing together. Right now, we decided to play monopoly. I decided to not use my enhanced senses. As a vampire, I had the ability to roll the dice in such a way that I would land where I wanted to every time.

Her clothes finally came and Char had ordered her more than enough to last her a few weeks. She had everything she needed and got so excited when she was unpacking the boxes. I smiled and laughed as she would squeal when she saw something she really liked. When she opened the box that had her bras and underwear in it she blushed. She didn't know what was in it before opening it up.

I told her about Peter and Char and they would be coming here to visit and meet her. I explained that it was Char who had ordered the clothes. She asked me how she knew what bra size to buy. Of course I had to admit to sneaking into the bathroom after her shower to peek at her discarded one. Another blush, it looked so beautiful on her.

She finally shooed me out of the room so she could get dressed. I was kind of disappointed that she would no longer be wearing my clothes. She surprised me though when she came out wearing a pair of jeans and another one of my t-shirts. She explained that they were more comfortable than brand new stuff and besides, we weren't going anywhere.

I knew that I would eventually have to go back to the family. After Catherine had taught me how to cook spaghetti and she had eaten and then gone to bed, I called my brother, Peter. He could help me figure out how to go back and be able to come back here without the family trying to find out what I was doing.

Peter came up with a plan. I would go back once every two weeks for a day or two. I would come back here telling the family the truth, I needed to work some things out in my life including my control. My friends would be helping me if I felt the need to go hunt a human.

Even though I was sure that there would be a huge fight. Peter suggested that I go to the hospital and speak with Carlisle privately. He said that his knower was telling him that if I could talk to Carlisle without dumb and dumber, as he called Alice and Edward, he might be more supportive of me staying away for short periods, as long as I stuck to my diet and came home for at least a few hours every so often.

I really just wanted to not go back. I needed to keep them from finding out about Catherine. The only way to make sure they wouldn't was to go back every so often. They could easily follow me and while they still could, I was hoping Carlisle could keep them from doing just that.

Catherine was making me see things that I had never seen before and she believed that I was worth it. Somehow I was so hungry for something positive in my life, that I was willing to do whatever it would take to please everyone, including losing who I was as a man.

She had made me see that. I was sincerely hoping that maybe she could help me find him. I know that I needed to start things that would cause that very thing to happen.

Two Weeks Later. . .

I'm sitting on the floor of the living room with Catherine's arms wrapped around me. I had just gotten back from being at home or should I say the Cullen's home. I had spent only a few hours there. I did go and talk to Carlisle first and told him that I was being overwhelmed by all of the emotions and that I wanted to take a break.

He saw no problem as long as I did come home in the end and visit every couple of weeks. I asked him what about Edward and Alice, he told me that while I should be working on my relationship with Alice, he understood the need for me to get away.

He hadn't been there when I got there. He did tell the family that I would be coming and that I would be staying at Peter and Char's place, coming back periodically to "check in" as he put it. I got hell for it from Alice saying I wasn't being fair to her and of course Edward backed her up.

I asked Bella if I could spend a few minutes with Nessie. I had bought a music box for her to put her jewelery in and wanted to give it to her. Catherine had helped me pick it out. Bella had no problem with me seeing her and giving it to her. Edward said, "No, you are a monster and she doesn't need anything from you. You refuse to take care of your own mate. My daughter will not have anything from you." He then grabbed it and smashed it.

I never said a word. I just went upstairs and got a few of my things that I kept that meant something to me. It was all in a small box, but it was a few things I had managed to collect over the years. Some was from my human days as an officer in the Confederate Army. Once I had that, I left and went back to Catherine.

I took precautions to make sure no one was following me, by going through a small stream. I had spent a total of four hours there and the whole time Edward and Alice both accused me of going back to drinking from humans, even though my eyes were gold. They said I probably was killing a human and then going back to animals to cover it up. According to them, that's why I was staying away.

The depression was back, but I also noticed that it still wasn't as strong as it usually was. There was mostly pain in my heart. I had truly wanted to give something to a sweet little girl. It hurt that I wasn't good enough to be allowed to give her a gift. That's why Catherine was holding me while I cried the best I could since I couldn't actually shed tears.

When I first walked up she had been standing outside on the porch waiting for me. Because of the bond, she had known that I was in emotional pain and somehow knew I was headed back. Even though she was on the porch, she was doubled over feeling my pain. When she could finally see me, she ran and jumped in my arms.

I carried her inside and just slumped down on the floor where we are now. We had started out sitting up, but her human body was getting tired so she laid down and then had me put my head on her chest. We have been like this for a couple of hours now. She wasn't talking, but she was combing my hair with her fingers and sending me her love.

Yeah, we had grown close over the two weeks we have been together. Not as close as I would like though, we haven't even kissed, but I could feel her love for me and I sure as hell hope she can fucking feel mine for her. We haven't yet admitted out loud what we are feeling towards each other. We have talked for hours and yet I just can't bring myself to tell her how I feel, or that we are mates.

Why would she want me, a fucking depressed vampire who is scarred both outside and inside? I had too much baggage. Yet she seemed happiest when we were together, even if all we did was just sit in each others presence.

Peter and Char had been able to find a piano and had it delivered here. Catherine can play such beautiful pieces, but unlike Edward she doesn't play the classics and her songs are peaceful to listen to instead of heavy and depressing like Edward's are. She also plays a lot of uplifting songs.

I have gotten my guitar out and played for her and even with her. I also have sang songs and she smiles the whole time I'm singing. It doesn't matter what songs I sing, even silly ones like "Puff the Magic Dragon". At night, when she's going to sleep I sing to her and she has peaceful nights now. When she first got here, she would have horrible nightmares.

She has also been teaching me a choreographed dance. Its to a song called "The Change". We haven't finished it yet, or should I say I haven't finished learning it, but I have watched her dance and its the most beautiful thing ever. Her face glows and her eyes sparkle as she moves on the "dance floor", which is the living room with everything moved out of the way. She has the grace of a vampire.

Yet with all of this, here I am sitting on the floor crying like a baby all because of some fucking vampires that deem themselves to be family, yet treat me with hatred and disgust. Catherine finally spoke up, "Jas, I don't know what happened, but why do you let them get to you? You are so special, you are better than they are. Please tell me what happened."

So I told her everything. She got angry and then cried for me, for my pain. Now the asshole was causing her to cry. I suddenly found myself getting really angry at them. Without meaning to I found myself growling. Again she somehow understood and the crying stopped and she held me tighter and I felt her sending me her pride and her love for me. If I had been smart I would have kissed her right then, but I was too afraid that she would also reject me. So I didn't do anything.

We spent the next two weeks, laughing, dancing and playing games or playing music. We spent our mornings talking, well it was mostly me talking. I was beginning to see myself differently. I was beginning to realize that maybe I was worth something.

We had gone out at least a few times a week. Sometimes just going shopping and sometimes for fun. We went to the zoo one day and she giggled and asked me if I was wanting a buffet meal. She was always making me laugh and even made jokes about me being a vampire.

Then came the day I had to go back to the family. I had been gone a little longer than a week and they were texting almost non-stop now. They had given up calling. The only time I answered my phone was when Peter called. They kept saying they would visit soon, but refused to tell me when.

So I had to go back. This time when I got there it was only Esme. Carlisle was at work and the rest were out hunting. Even Nessie was with them. She was working outside on her garden and so I decided to help her. She was digging out an area to plant more so me being a gentleman did it for her.

After that I went to clean up. Esme came up and asked if she could talk to me. She told me how sad Alice has been and that maybe I should at least stay and try to talk to her. I was about to tell her fuck no, but the next words out of her mouth shocked me, "Jasper, I don't know what has been going on, but you have changed. You're whole demeanor is different. You are standing taller, straighter and there seems to be more of an air of confidence about you that wasn't there before. Can you tell me what has happened to bring about this change?"

"All I can say is that my friends are helping me to see things differently, more clearly. I told Carlisle that I needed time away, time for just me. He agreed that as long as I came back for visits that it wouldn't be a problem. If only Alice and Edward would allow me peace and to spend time with Nessie, I would probably be able to stay here."

"Well, I just wish you would try harder with Alice. She misses you terribly. Isn't it hard for you to stay away from her?" she asked.

"Seeing as we aren't mates, no." I replied.

She was about to say something when everyone came back. Alice ran up to me and grabbed me in a hug before I could even blink. When she tried to kiss me I turned my face so she only got my cheek. Then I pushed her away. Of course all hell broke loose and Edward started yelling what a worthless monster I was for hurting Alice.

I was leaving. Not because of Edward so much as Alice. She had managed to wait until I had gone to my room to pick up a few more things I wanted to take back to the cabin. She tried to seduce me again by removing her clothes. I warned her to leave or I would throw her out naked. She refused, so I did exactly what I had threatened to do.

That got me into trouble with Esme this time. How dare I treat Alice with such disrespect. Then she told me she had been wrong, I was the same cold person she had always thought me to be. That hurt even more than anything Edward could say or do.

Again I found myself in Catherine's arms, but this time I wasn't crying. I was stronger, but that didn't mean that it didn't hurt. This time I found out something, I was ticklish. Catherine had started rubbing my back and went too close to my side. Yep, the monster was ticklish and she went for it.

Thing is, she was worse. Before I knew what had happened I was chasing her around the house trying to tickle her. I would catch her, tickle her for a few seconds and then let her go. We were both laughing our asses off. I forgot all about the hurt I had once again felt from the so called family.

At one point I caught her and had her pinned down on the couch. I had her hands above her head and my body on top of hers. She then said, "Alright, you have proven that you are a big bad ass vampire. Now that you have me, the simple human pinned down, what are you going to do now?"

I did the only thing I could think of to do. I kissed her. . .

A/N Please tell me your thoughts. Thanks to everyone who added this story to their favorites and alerts, as well as everyone who has reviewed. Love you guys.