Mass x Acceleration

By Dixxy Mouri

Chapter Twenty-Five: Acceleration

"They weren't too messy – they cleaned their plates and kept all the stuff to be washed together. Nice," said Sanji, looking at the sink where all of their guests' cups, dishes, and flatware were neatly stacked in warm, soapy water. Their trash can was about three crumpled napkins away from overflowing, and only a few scattered items were left for cleanup.

"Yeah," said Nami, starting to look around for something to pick up.

Sanji shook his head. "Nami-san, that's okay – it's your birthday, I've got this."

"Oh. Okay," she said softly. She sat down, wringing her hands.

Sanji moved in to start gathering empty bowls, then looked into her eyes. "Everything okay?"

Nami nodded. "Yes." No I'm not.

Sanji continued to look at her, then narrowed his eyes. "You're lying to me. You are not okay."

Nami nearly panicked, then put on her best fake smile and forced a laugh. Sanji didn't seem to be buying it, so she tried even harder. "Sanji-kun, what are you talking about? We just had a birthday party – my birthday party! We had friends and food and music and dancing, I had a great time! Don't be so-"

Sanji closed the distance between them and put a finger to her mouth. "Yes. You definitely had a good time during the party – it's the most I've seen you smile in a while. But I'm talking about right now. Right now you look like you're going to start crying, and it's not because you're overwhelmed with gratitude. You look like you're dying inside, and that scares me."

She wasn't sure what to say. When the hell did you suddenly start getting me? "I . . ."

Sanji moved in to hug her, resting his head on hers. "You've been miserable for weeks." He squeezed her tightly. "I'm sorry I've been distant, but please. Just tell me what's wrong. I hate seeing you like this – we've had enough misery." He backed away enough to look her in the eyes, and Nami could see concern and heartache in his gaze.

"I don't think I can tell you what's wrong."

"That's insane – we tell each other everything. Don't we?"

Nami trembled. "I can't tell you this. I can't."

"Why not?"

"Because it's not something you want to hear," she said.

Sanji was taken aback. "What?"

"I don't know if I'm mad or crazy or frustrated or . . . damn it, Sanji-kun, I DON'T KNOW! I don't know how to deal with this – I've never had to," she said. She sat on the couch, fighting tears. She was NOT going to cry – not over this stupid bullshit drama. She gripped her knees so tight she was afraid she might cut through the dress and her skin, digging her nails all the way to her bones.

"Nami-san, look at me," Sanji said, kneeling down in front of her. "You know I won't hurt you. I'm your best friend – we've been through Hell together and we're doing fantastic. A lot better than we should be at this point. We're safe here – the people here are our friends now and this island is so well protected we don't need to worry about those people coming after us – we just sit tight and get better until Luffy and the others get here. For now, we're safe here." He swallowed. "And . . . you don't need to worry about me looking at you like a dog in heat again because I-"

The smart thing to do would be to keep her mouth shut. Nami chose to blurt out her feelings instead. "But what if I WANT you to look at me that way again!?" Realizing what she said, she covered her mouth with her hands and stared at his shocked expression in horror. She started to tremble. Oh no. This was bad. She did not just admit she wanted a man who was trying to swear off women to start undressing her with his eyes.

Sanji stared at her in shock. "You . . . I . . . what did you . . . wait, what?"

Nami stood, phasing through the couch to back away from him. She gripped her dress, afraid that she was losing control of the second ability again, and the last thing she wanted was to end up naked in their living room or, possibly even worse, naked in the middle of Apartment 2C (their downstairs neighbor was a nice lady, but she didn't need to have Nami drop in unexpectedly - literally).

"I'm sorry." She closed her eyes. "I . . . I don't know how it happened. I just . . . I just started looking at you different one day. And I couldn't stop. I can't stop thinking about you." She clenched her fists tighter. "I know that you think you can't offer a woman anything. I know what Deltana said hurt you, and it hurt me to see you like that. I used to use you, too, and I've never felt lower in my life than when I realized that what I was doing was hurting the most important person in the entire world to me."

Part of her told her that this was a bad idea. Pouring out her feelings like this, out in the open, was going to destroy them both. Why would Sanji return her feelings when he'd spent so long trying to squash his feelings towards women in general? Why would this even be a good idea? But despite every corner of her brain telling her to stop, her heart told her to keep going.

Nami mustered up her strength and sat back down next to Sanji. "I don't care that you're a pirate because I'm one, too. I don't care that you're an ability user and you can't swim and it's a little weird because of what That Man did to us but that's me, too – if we're freaks then it's okay because we are freaks together. I don't care if we can't have children – maybe we'll get better, maybe we won't but both of us were adopted anyways and I don't know how we'd be able to do it but we could find a way to be parents if we wanted to. And as long as you're healthy I don't care how many women you've been with – if they thought all you were good for was a free meal then it's their loss."

Sanji was looking at her in stunned silence, an unreadable expression on his face. Nami stopped, wondering if she'd said too much or hurt him even more. He was looking at her like he'd never seen her in his life, and she wasn't sure what that meant. She took in a deep breath and grabbed his hands. It was all or nothing time.

"Sanji-kun, you are MORE than just some guy that a bunch of girls had sex with for a free meal. You're one of the toughest fighters I've ever met. You're one of the sweetest people I know, even if you don't always show it. You've got a gorgeous singing voice you were hiding from the world for far too long. Eating food you've cooked is one of the most amazing experiences I've ever had and I don't deserve to be able to eat it every day like I do now. You have the most amazing eyes and the kindest smile . . . it's hurting me to watch you hurt yourself like this."

"Nami-san . . ."

"Because I love you, Sanji-kun."

"Nami-san . . . I love you, too."

Nami opened her eyes, stunned, and saw that he was crying. "I've . . . I've been fighting my feelings for you for a while, too. I was afraid to hurt the friendship we'd had, because the thought of losing you scared the hell out of me." He paused, taking a deep breath as he put his hand over his mouth – Nami noticed his ring finger and middle finger parted slightly, like there should be a cigarette there; an old habit still lingering from his days as a smoker. "I wanted to say something, but I was too scared you'd say 'no'. By the time I was out on stage that first night, I realized that every song I chose, every note I sang, it wasn't for the rest of the band or the audience or anyone – it was all to you. I was going to talk to you that night, but then . . ."

"Sanji-kun . . ."

"I'm so sorry I let her fuck it up. I'm sorry I let her get to me," Sanji looked ashamed.

Nami and took his hands. "Don't," she said. "It's okay. You know that now, right?" She leaned her head forward. "You said it yourself – you got your awkward first time sex out of the way on someone who isn't important. Remember that – she's not important." Nami squeezed his hands and felt him squeeze back. "I'm right here and I love you. And this time I don't mean it in the platonic way, Sanji-kun." She grasped the sleeve of his shirt. "Not anymore."

"I love you, and it's definitely not platonic. Not anymore."

It was the most sincere they'd been with each other in weeks – the first time they'd really talked since Sanji had tried to renounce the fairer sex. They stood and embraced, quietly enjoying each other's company. Nami felt content – he was warm, he smelled familiar, and this moment might have been perfect. The moment seemed to lose its perfection when Sanji pulled away from a moment, only to gently touch her face and lean in for a kiss.

Nami let herself get a little lost in it – this was different than the first kiss he'd given her when they first got the apartment. She could taste the evenings' samplings on his tongue. His hands were gently massaging her back. She sighed happily, feeling herself wander further and further away from reason. They fell back on the couch, leaning into each other until-

And then reason slapped them both in the face and suddenly they were staring at each other like they're each just grown a unicorn horn. Nami was lying on the couch and Sanji was hovering over her – both were feeling a little flush. They paused, breathing heavily and staring at each other for several moments.

"We're moving really quickly, aren't we?" Nami said.

"Maybe should stop for now," Sanji said slowly. "Especially since, ah, you've never . . ."

"Well, um, that I don't . . . that's okay, it's more . . . aren't you supposed to wait . . . I mean . . . talking and . . . getting to know each other? I mean, that's part of dating . . . even though we sort of accidentally skipped the dating part because we've been living together and . . . shit, we're already sharing a bed, is that even okay?!" Wonderful. Was there even a complete thought in there?

Sanji looked confused as he maneuvered off her and sat on the couch. Nami followed suit, folding her hands neatly in her lap. "I have no idea – my brain and my heart are not in agreement right now." And other parts of me are passionately disagreeing with my brain. He shifted. "But, ah, maybe getting to know each other better isn't a terrible idea," he said, crossing his legs. Nami suspected another part of his body was involved in the "argument" as well.

"Sounds reasonable," Nami said, gently nodding her head.

The two shifted, sitting next to each other and not sure where to go. Their eyes wandered to the other a few times before darting away quickly. The silence was awkward and cumbersome and they needed to do something to break the tension. Nami absently looked at her nails – they were fine. Sanji found himself staring at the glass doors on the east wall – the curtains were drawn.

"We . . . already know each other really, really well," said Sanji, turning to Nami.

"There's, um, not much else to know, is there?" asked Nami, glancing over at Sanji.

They stared at each other for a few moments. They'd shared so much with each other – between their talks on That Man's ship and telling each other about their days since coming to Apple Island, it really was hard to pinpoint something, anything, that she'd never told him or he'd never told her.

Yet somehow they managed to blurt several out.

"Since we joined Luffy I've read The Legend of Asbath five times," Nami blurted.

"I can't stand the material Guiseppe Valentino uses to make his suits and I won't touch them."

"Although my heels on the old ship were pretty, my favorite shoes were a pair of bunny slippers Nojiko made for me when I was having a rough patch collecting the one hundred million berries. One of the ears is falling off the right slipper and the left slipper is missing an eye because I've worn them so much."

"Patty and Carne tried to buy me a prostitute for my eighteenth birthday but it ended up being a drag queen named Venus di Mylar – obviously we didn't do anything but she gave me the BEST recipe for chicken cordon blue I have ever come across and we stayed in touch afterwards swapping cooking tips."

"My dream is to make a map of the real world but sometimes for giggles I make ridiculously detailed maps of imaginary countries."

"My go to method when I can't sleep isn't counting sheep, it's counting fish, because it makes me think of All Blue."

They were back in each other's arms, saying anything and everything they didn't think they'd told the other, or perhaps anyone, before. They were kissing again, this time fueled by more intensity. Before long, their limbs were tangled, the top few buttons of Sanji's shirt had come undone, and Nami's shoes were clumsily sitting in the middle of the living room floor. They paused for a moment, breathing heavily.

. . . oh I am so glad I remembered to shave my legs this morning.

Okay, calm down, just because it's been a while doesn't mean you've forgotten everything.

"This is happening tonight, isn't it?" Nami said, feeling her heart racing.

". . . I think you're right," Sanji said, feeling a little surreal.

"Are you okay with this?"

"Are you?"

Nami held her breath for a moment. He had a point – this would be her first time, and that had the potential to be messy and awkward for both of them. Was she ready for this? Did she want this now? She looked into his eyes, laced her fingers with his, and tried to focus on her breathing while she debated whether or not it was the right time.

"Yes," she said, feeling butterflies in her stomach. "Yes, I'm okay with this."

Sanji nodded. "So . . . are we taking this elsewhere?"

"Yeah," Nami said, letting Sanji slip an arm under her knees and hoist her up. She giggled.

"We could light some candles," said Sanji, carrying her towards their room.

"That sounds pretty," she said softly, slinging her arms around his neck. "Be gentle?"

"Of course," he said with a chuckle, hip checking the door open. Sanji paused in the doorway and they both stared at the unlit room before them. It was a sight they were both used to – the neatly made bed with the cream colored bedspread, the orange and blue throw blanket at the foot, and the hodge-podge of decorative pillows they'd collected over the months. They'd been sharing it for so long, but it had always been a platonic, necessary thing.

Now . . .

They exchanged a quiet look before Sanji started to close the door behind them.

"I love you." Nami touched the side of his face, pulling him close for a kiss.

Sanji closed the gap between them. "I love you, too."

Author's Notes

First of all, thank you to everyone who congratulated me on my remission! You guys are awesome!

Just incase you missed it last time, my beta and I have Tumblrs you should all follow if you're on Tumblr: I'm "dixxymouri" (and dixxyfics, which I'd eventually like to convert into something of an ask blog) and my beta is "summerotaku". Look us up ^_~

One more chapter to close this arc up, and then we'll be skipping ahead a few months for an arc about a harvest festival, and also Ria and Braeburn's back stories.

Dixxy