Mass x Acceleration
By Dixxy Mouri
Chapter 29: Pirate Hunter Roronoa Zoro
After getting Nami out of the soiled costume and into some clean clothes, the women went upstairs to Ria's apartment to sit down over some tea to try and sort out their conversation. The seamstress looked like a wreck, running her hands through her hair and staring into her tea cup like it would somehow save her from the impending dialog.
Nami had calmed down a little, but there were still a lot of things that needed explaining. She guessed that Ria had slept with Zoro (that was a weird thought – well, the part about Ria sleeping with someone was no surprise, but Zoro even having an interest was news to her) in some sort of an attempt to recruit him into Baroque Works. Apparently whatever protection they'd used (if any) had failed and now the twins were . . . here.
Ria seemed bothered and upset. There was no telling what her relationship with Zoro had been like, so maybe that was a source of stress, but there was also the revelation that she had been involved with Baroque Works. She frowned, realizing that this meant he probably wasn't the only other Straw Hat she'd encountered before. Guess that means she must know Robin, too.
Neither woman was ready to break the silence.
"Mommy! Auntie Nami!"
The twins ran into the living room from their bedroom, and Nami found herself looking at them in a whole new light. By no means did the girls look like miniature versions of the swordsman, but little things on their faces, now that she knew the secret, were very telling. At the moment it was in the way they were smiling while they showed off their latest pictures. They smile just like him when he's really happy. It wasn't a smile Zoro brought out very often – he had a lot of smug smirks and grins in his arsenal of facial expressions, but every so often when something really good happened, his face would light up and not even Sanji at his worst could bring him down. Nami closed her eyes and tried to hold back a sob. That's it, right there. That smile. Zoro's smile. Even though she had no reason to doubt Ria before . . . now she knew for certain.
"Auntie Nami?"
Sundae had seated herself next to Nami and given her a picture she'd drawn of the Sapphire Witch (or perhaps Nami in her Sapphire Witch costume – she couldn't be sure either way). Accepting the gift, she smiled and gave the little girl a hug. "Thank you, Sundae – it's beautiful. Uncle Sanji and I are going to have to try and find a free spot on the fridge for it."
(There was no free spot on the fridge – thanks to the twins there hadn't been one for months.)
Wendy grinned. "Come on, Sundae, there's lots of other stuff we can draw."
"Like Dr. Clown?"
"Okay!"
The girls scampered off back down the hallway and slammed the door to their room shut, presumably to draw Dr. Gala in his clown costume. Ria and Nami exchanged a look, the latter finding the courage to speak. "Ria, I just . . . I get it. There were a lot of bad people in Baroque Works. But there were good people in there, too." She smiled a little, thinking about Robin and Vivi – funny how it seemed all of her closest girlfriends were former Baroque Works operatives. "Just tell me the truth and I promise I'll listen."
Ria took a deep breath. "Well . . . I was an orphan. I was really small when my parents died, but I didn't get picked up by anyone and the orphanage . . . well that place sucked. The adults in charge were always yelling at us over little things, we got bad food and ratty clothes, and even though people donated money to help us out, it all went to the people in charge. Eventually I got fed up with it and ran off with a handful of other girls.
"After a few years we were self-sufficient – we'd learned to fight, hunted bounties every so often, even did our share of questionable business, but we never really had a home of our own. It wasn't until I was eighteen that Baroque Works found us and lured us in with the promise of fortune and power in their little utopia." Ria crossed her legs. "We didn't exactly have it easy – hell, sounds like you didn't either, sugah. The idea of a perfect place where everyone could be happy . . . we liked the idea of helping to make a place where kids didn't have to worry about living like we had. So we took the job."
"What happened to your friends?" Nami asked.
"We all got assigned to different places in the company, I guess. As far as I know I'm the only one who got a high rank, but after I left . . . who knows?" Ria gripped her tea cup and sighed heavily. "I just hope they all got out okay and with their heads on straight." She took a deep breath. "I'm sure they're fine. They have to be."
Nami's eyes darkened. "When you said you got a high rank . . . you were a numbered agent."
Ria nodded, her eyes looking away. "Yeah. That's . . . actually how I met Braeburn. He was my partner," Ria said sadly. Nami's eyes widened – she hadn't thought about it, but considering how close she and the blacksmith were it made sense that they were former partners. "He was Mr. 6, I was Miss Mother's Day. But we got involved with the company for different reasons. His reasons are really personal and you're best asking him to explain it, but you've already heard mine."
She made a mental note to talk with Braeburn about this later – as it was she was probably going to have to talk with Sanji about this, too. He's going to shit a brick when he finds out Zoro has two children. Ugh, I hope this doesn't start a fight between the two of them when Luffy and the others get here. Actually . . . "So, then how did you cross paths with Zoro? He'd never been to the Grand Line before Luffy came into the picture and I thought Baroque Works was mostly out here."
"That's easy - recruitment," said Ria. "His name was on a list of potential recruits for the company and the two of us got stuck with recruitment duty when that list came out. See, we were what you'd call Frontier Agents, so most of the time we hung out on one of the entrance islands to the Grand Line hunting pirates who'd just shown up. But every time the boss wanted to fill out the ranks, he usually picked one of the Frontier pairs to go find people on whatever list he'd compiled, and Mr. 6 and I got a list with a bunch of guys out of East Blue. We split the list fifty-fifty, and my half of the list included our favorite swordsman's name . . ."
Four Years Ago, East Blue
The Buster Brothers were a bust. Before Miss Mother's Day had a chance to meet them, they'd been killed by Don Krieg's pirate armada. Not long after, she found Singing Swordsman Pierre wetting himself when pitted against a smalltime gang of thugs that Miss Mother's Day was positive she could have handled when she was twelve. So not worth her time.
That left the pirate hunter.
Roronoa Zoro.
Miss Mother's Day spent a long time tracking him down, but the more she heard about her target, the more convinced she was that unlike her previous targets, this guy might be the real deal. He had a lot of targets to his name and was feared even by some of the local Marines. Even more interesting, he was supposedly skilled in the art of . . . santoryu?
My, my, my, someone thinks highly of their 'third sword.'
Miss Mother's Day was on a passenger ship sailing between several islands on the East Blue. Word only traveled as fast as the trade and passenger vessels, and she hoped to pick up a clue as to where the famed pirate hunter was while on board. So far she hadn't heard anything. Getting bored with staring at the horizon line, she decided to see if there was anything in the mess hall worth eating.
Distracted by her growling stomach, she didn't notice the outstretched leg in her path. The top of her boot hit the ankle and she was sent tumbling forward, landing unceremoniously on the deck with her butt in the air and her pride in shambles. Miss Mother's Day struggled to compose herself and saw what had tripped her up – some asshole was taking a nap on the deck and had his leg stretched out where people might, for example, trip and fall flat on their face.
"Hey! Asshole!" she snapped. "What the hell?!"
The asshole opened one eye. "Huh?"
"Find a better place to take a nap, jackass!" she said, getting to her feet and brushing herself off.
"What's your problem?" he asked.
Miss Mother's Day pointed at his still outstretched leg. "Foot." She pointed at the walkway his leg was obstructing. "Path people walk on." She pointed at the deck. "Where my face was thirty seconds ago." She pointed at him. "Asshole." She looked him up and down again, then smirked. Actually, this guy wasn't too bad looking. Definitely someone who worked out (he had nice arms – and probably nice pectorals under that white shirt with the top couple of buttons undone). "I think you should buy me lunch to apologize."
". . . what?"
"You tripped me. I could have seriously hurt myself and I deserve an apology, sugah," said Miss Mother's Day. "And it could have been even worse. What if it had been a little old lady you tripped? You could have broken her hip! And you know how bad it is when old people break hips! Or what if it was a little kid? They'd have been crying and then their parents would have gotten involved and it would have been a big old mess for you. Or maybe some high-on-his-horse Marine who-"
"I will buy you your apology lunch if you shut up."
Miss Mother's Day laughed as the other traveler got to his feet and started to brush himself off, grabbing the three swords that had been resting against the ship near his napping spot. She stopped laughing as he slid them under his haramaki. "Three swords?" she asked. You've got to be kidding. This guy can't be . . .
"What?" he asked.
"Ah . . . I've never seen a swordsman carrying three swords before. What was your name again?"
"I never told you my name."
"All right, I'm asking now – what's your name?"
"It's Zoro. Roronoa Zoro."
Oh for crying out loud . . . "Ah."
Zoro glared at her. "Seriously, what?"
Miss Mother's Day laughed nervously. "Oh, uh, nothing! Nothing!"
After introducing herself as "Giselle" (which she had 'cleverly' gotten from the name on the spine of a book someone nearby was reading), Miss Mother's Day and Zoro ordered lunch from the mess hall and got to talking while waiting for their meal. In particular, the Baroque Works agent had some backtracking to do – she'd been rude to her target and, if she wanted him to join the organization, she was going to need to be a lot nicer.
"I wanted to apologize for being so . . . forward," she said, idly stirring her iced tea. Zoro shrugged, staring into a stein of some sort of ale. "I found myself in a bit of an unladylike position and I believe I lost my composure, sugah – please forgive me."
Zoro rolled his eyes at the pet name. "Well, I probably could have chosen a better place to settle down," he said. "I had a long day yesterday."
"Oh?" she asked. "Doing what?"
"Got into a fight with some guy . . . Guillermo the Beast?"
Miss Mother's Day nearly did a spit take. "Isn't that guy worth ten million berries!?"
"Sounds about right – that's what the Marines gave me for him."
Okay, he's more promising that the other idiots on my list, but I need to see him in action.
"What about you? What are you doing traveling by yourself?" Zoro asked.
"Me? A little bit of this, a little bit of that," said Miss Mother's Day.
"Soldier of fortune?"
"Kind of," said Miss Mother's Day.
"Is that why you gave me a fake name?"
Miss Mother's Day nearly choked on her drink. "Guh?"
Zoro smirked into his stein. "You got that name from that lady's book over there," he said.
Okay, maybe he is good. "Astute."
"I don't know what that means."
"I think it means 'observant'," she said.
". . . you 'think' it means 'observant,' but you don't know."
Miss Mother's Day sighed. "Not important, sugah."
"Stop calling me that," said Zoro.
"I call everybody 'sugah'."
The swordsman rubbed his temples and sighed. "You're not going to tell me your real name, are you?" He held up his hand. "Whatever."
She paled in surprise. He gave up on that easily. "Seriously?" she said.
"Whatever reason you're using fake names is none of my business and I really don't care."
Miss Mother's Day leaned forward, propping her chin on her hands. "So tell me more."
"Huh?"
"About your bounty hunting. Gotten any other big targets?"
"Why, does it get you hot and bothered?" Zoro grinned snidely.
Miss Mother's Day closed her eyes. "Bounty hunters, as a whole, are a dirty, foul smelling group of ugly hairy men who drink away most of their prizes and wouldn't know a classy lady if one punched them in the jaw. I would know – I've punched a few in the jaw and they didn't know I was a classy lady. You, sugah, are clean shaven and good looking . . . though you do have a bit of rum on your breath."
Zoro laughed.
Zoro split on her after lunch was done, divulging only one more story about one of his catches, but she kept close tabs on where he was at all times. She needed to know when he got off the ship so she could tail him after that and figure out exactly how strong he was. There was no telling how much he was getting by on false reputation or if he'd been picking off guys with over-bloated bounties.
Unfortunately most of what he was doing consisted of napping, drinking or more napping.
Maybe he bores his bounties into submission. That's what he's doing to me right now.
Miss Mother's Day watched as one of his eyes popped open. "Are you still following me?"
She balked – she'd found a good perch on top of some crates and behind some barrels.
Zoro sat up and looked at her grumpily. "Woman, what do you want?"
"I-"
Miss Mother's Day was interrupted by a cry that rang across the deck. "PIRATES!"
Present Day
". . . you weren't a very good spy, were you?"
"What?"
"Zoro found you. Pretty easily."
". . . shut up and listen to the story, sugah."
Four years ago, East Blue . . .
"PIRATES!"
Miss Mother's Day looked towards the sea and saw a pirate ship headed towards the passenger ship. She jumped down to where Zoro had been resting, keeping her eyes on the black flag and the skull and crossbones it bore. "We can get to that later. Right now I want to know you're as good as your reputation says you are, sugah."
"Don't call me 'sugah'."
"Fine. If you can beat up more pirates than me I'll stop calling you 'sugah'. If I beat up more pirates than you, you have to by me dinner at a fancy restaurant after we get into port," said Miss Mother's Day, rolling her shoulders to prepare for the upcoming fight.
"That's not an even bet, woman. If I win you, stop calling me that AND you buy me my weight rum." Zoro was untying the bandana from his bicep, a grin on his face. "Good stuff. Not some cheap backwash that the bartender would have thrown out anyways. I want top shelf rum sold in a fancy looking bottle. Deal?"
"Deal. And you better not give me some made up number, either."
"You better not give ME some made up number, either."
"Honor system it is." Zoro and Miss Mother's Day shook on it and raced towards the side of the ship where the pirates were headed, passing frantic passengers on their way below deck to hide as well as a handful of others with swords and guns, some of which she recognized as Marine issue, were running alongside them to join in the fray.
All in all about seven men and women, Zoro and Miss Mother's Day included, stood waiting at the starboard side of the ship. The agent kept one eye on her target, curious to see what he was going to do. He's only got to hands so how does he use that third sword? Maybe he's a juggler or something – that might be fun to watch. She'd seen weirder fighting methods – one of the Officer Agents that she reported to was an okama ballerina (sometimes they went out for drinks after she and Mr. 6 gave him their report). She'd heard there was another agent who fought with explosive boogers.
The canon fire began and grappling hooks were being shot towards the ship. Being swordsmen, Zoro, Miss Mother's Day, and some guy with a banana yellow and purple striped mohawk were on the railings, slicing down ropes where they could. For the moment, Roronoa Zoro was only using one sword. "That doesn't look like some three-sword style to me!" she responded.
"Oh you just watch – and watch closely because I'm going to enjoy the hell out that rum!"
"They don't serve rum in fancy restaurants, sugah!"
The man with the mohawk was struck down by a bullet to the arm and pirates were starting to board. Miss Mother's Day drew her second sword and started picking them off. One, two, three! She had an advantage – most pirates weren't as skilled with a sword as she was, and, being the somewhat sexist bastards they were, most pirates underestimated her skill because she was a woman. Four!
A woman with a Marine issued gun was on the ground and two more of their supposed "allies" had vanished, probably to defend another part of the ship. An old man wearing a monocle and smoking a pipe was doing very well with his ivory cane, but age and appearance meant nothing on the Grand Line so this didn't warrant too much of Miss Mother's Day's attention.
And then there was Zoro, who had drawn all three of his swords. The black hilted swords, which were everyday run of the mill swords available for purchase on the cheap, were in his left and right hands, whirling about him in a bladed frenzy. The third sword, which had a white and gold hilt and was far too fancy to be a blacksmith's bargain bin buy, was held firmly between his teeth.
That's different. She grinned. He'll fit in nicely with the rest of Baroque Works.
Miss Mother's Day concentrated again on upping her number of injured pirates. Zoro not only had more blade than her, but he was VERY good with them, and seeing as she could not afford to buy him his weight in fancy top shelf rum sold in attractive bottles, she needed to think smart. While she took out Pirate #10, she spied some unused netting.
We never said we needed to take the pirates out using traditional swordplay.
Miss Mother's Day elbowed #11 in the face before crushing his good hand with her knee as she scurried towards the netting. Zoro, it seemed, was already in the high teens so she desperately needed to get the net to catch up. She stepped on another pirate and cracked his jaw in the process (making him #12) and up the wooden stairs to her prize. Eyeing the layout of the battle before her, she grabbed a corner and made a running leap into the fray.
Pirates #13-#24 were now far too busy trying to untangle themselves to be a threat.
"That's cheating!" said Zoro, taking out his own Pirate #24.
"We never agreed on HOW to take these morons out!" she said with a laugh.
"So now we're tied, so that means-"
But then the battle was over as the old man with the ivory cane skewered the pirate captain.
". . . I didn't know we were traveling with a former Marine Vice Admiral."
"Yeah. If he's retired and out of shape I wonder what the current guys are like?"
With all of the dust settled from the pirate attack and the passenger ship safely in port, Zoro and Miss Mother's Day collected a small prize for taking out a combined total of forty-eight pirates, but since their bet had ended in a draw neither was sure how to handle things any further. They'd ended up at a tavern of slightly higher than average quality, but they sold no gourmet meals or top shelf rum.
Still, Miss Mother Day had reasoned that, at the very least, she'd been able to confirm Roronoa Zoro was completely worth the time it had taken her to find him. He could get himself a numbered position quite easily and Mr. 0 might give her a promotion. She closed her eyes and nursed her drink with a wry grin.
"Sucks that neither of us was able to win . . . although you did take out what, like half of your guys with a cheap trick," said Zoro.
"Marines don't give a shit how you capture your pirates – as long as you capture them."
"True," he said. He closed his eyes. "At least none of the passengers got hurt – between us and that old Marine we kept the situation under control."
"Yeah but he's the only one who got a worthwhile prize."
"He took out the captain. By himself. All we got were some mooks."
"Four dozen mooks," she corrected. "That's not exactly easy, you know."
"Of course not," he said. Zoro smiled. "You stopped calling me 'sugah'."
Miss Mother's Day shrugged. "Eh. You did buy me dinner again and I didn't exactly win the bet."
"Guess not," he said. "Rum wasn't too bad, either."
"And you're only getting the one bottle of it – savor it."
"This line of work doesn't always pay well," said Zoro. He lowered his eyes. "I've had credit snapped out from under me before. A bunch of punks were around when I took out this one guy worth a hefty fifteen million, but some of them distracted me while their boss dragged the mark to the local Marine base. I was pissed but there wasn't anything I could do. I can't be the best if I'm rotting in a jail cell or hanging from the gallows."
"Best bounty hunter?"
"I'm not really a bounty hunter," said Zoro. "I want to be the world's best swordsman."
"How are you going to do that?"
"By beating Dracule Mihawk in a duel."
Miss Mother's Day nearly choked on a piece of bread. "You mean Hawkeye Mihawk? One of the Seven Warlords of the Sea Mihawk? The guy with the giant ass sword and eyes that look like a bird of pre Mihawk?" Her hand shook. "Look, Zoro, you're good but you're not THAT good – that's a suicide mission challenging him."
"I'm not ready to face him yet – I still have a lot of training to do. But I left home to look for him so I could challenge him. I've been travelling around the East Blue for about a year now."
"Mihawk's in the Grand Line, dumbass."
"It can't be that hard to get there."
Miss Mother's Day wasn't sure how to respond to that, though she supposed it was a common misconception. Lots of pirates got killed on Reverse Mountain if they didn't have a good navigator on board, so maybe they all thought it was that easy. But since she kind of wanted Zoro to stay alive long enough to speak with someone higher up in the rankings (like Miss All Sunday – she'd been seeing a lot of the boss' partner as of late, come to think of it) she decided to throw him a bone. "It's really not that easy. Choose how you get into the Grand Line carefully, and cherish every moment you aren't there – you can use them for more training. Mihawk's a beast of a man and if you're serious about besting him, you need to buckle down."
Zoro's hand went to the white sword. "I have to beat him. I have to be the best."
They left the tavern about an hour later, after night had fallen. Miss Mother's Day still wasn't sure how to broach the subject of Baroque Works to him, and Zoro wasn't in as big of a rush to ditch her like her was back on the ship, so for the moment they were still together. It was a quiet town, with the bounty boards lined with dust and the Marine base staffed with a handful of out-of-shape men who took naps while on guard duty. If a pirate ship attacked this town, they'd be in trouble.
Except that there wasn't much of interest on the island, so Miss Mother's Day figured most pirates would take a look at what the island had to offer before concluding there was nothing to be gained and leave. The buildings weren't even interesting enough to warrant rampant arson and chaos for shits and giggles.
"Crazy day today, huh?" said Miss Mother's Day.
"Yeah," said Zoro. "Real crazy."
The pair had gone to the docks and were sitting on the edge, watching the moon and the stars above. There were some crickets chirping in the distance, and the sounds of the waves gently splashing against the shore and the pier. Miss Mother's Day laid back on the dock, thinking about the events of the day and what her next move would be. She knew recruitment duty was one of the few mission Baroque Works was "lenient" on, in the sense that it was all right to report back to the Boss that you didn't find anyone worthy of the company (it was better than recruiting someone who wasn't worthy), but Zoro was so good at what he did.
She heard the creaking of the wood – Zoro was sitting up. "It's late."
"Yeah."
"It's weird – I'm not tired."
"You spent a good chunk of today napping – you probably fucked up your sleep cycle."
Zoro shrugged. "I sleep a lot. Probably because I train so much."
"Maybe." She looked back to the town, then up at the sky – there were a lot of dark clouds and they were threatening a storm. "In a town this small the innkeepers probably aren't up terribly late, so we're going to want to head to an inn like, now, if we want to catch them before they close up for the night."
Zoro raised an eyebrow. "You want to get a room?"
"Well, yeah," said Ria. She saw the look on his face and her eyes widened. "I meant because it's going to rain!" She sat up, then looked Zoro over again. He was handsome. And she liked the way the moonlight hit his skin. She felt a little flush. It had been a while since she'd let off some steam. The last time she'd been in bed had been three months earlier and her partner had been absolutely AWFUL – didn't know what to do with himself or with her and she'd ended up feeling unsatisfied and even more sexually frustrated than she had been when she'd encountered the guy in the first place.
Miss Mother's Day was starting to rethink her answer. "Unless you want to split a room."
"You're not falling for me," he said flatly.
"No. One night stand or friends with benefits. I'm not looking for love but I could use a lay."
Zoro grinned. Miss Mother's Day liked his smile. "Would be cheaper to split the room."
It was a solid point. "Yeah. Do you have any protection?"
He snorted. "Have you seen my swords leave my side?"
"Not THAT kind of protection – I meant condoms."
"Oh, right – yeah, I have a few on me."
Zoro was on his feet and extended a hand to help her up after him. She took it and staggered to her a feet, butterflies flying amuck in her stomach. This mission is going SO WELL! Not only am I probably going to bring back a great asset to the company but he's hot AND I get to sleep with him? Best assignment EVER!
With that, Zoro and Miss Mother's Day walked back to the town.
Once they had checked into the inn and were in their room, Zoro-
Present Day
"Okay, okay, I do not want those details!" Nami said, plugging her ears.
Ria laughed. "Aw, maybe there's something new Zoro could teach Sanji."
"I think if Sanji-kun heard that he'd die a little inside," Nami grumbled.
"Mmm," said Ria. "We took the necessary precautions, but I guess the condom broke and I was fertile. I left him in bed the following morning to write a quick message to Braeburn and the bosses, but when I got back he was gone. Never saw him again, and before I could find him I ran into Mr. 6 and we had to get back to base. A month later I was late and I realized I was pregnant."
"No morning sickness?"
"Didn't really have it for some reason, but I'm as regular as clockwork – I get it for exactly five days every twenty-nine and that was the very first time I had ever missed one – I didn't even have that awkward phase of having them irregularly or whatever when I first started, so it scared the hell out of me when it didn't show up. It wasn't like I never had any of the classic symptoms, though. You could not keep me AWAY from peanut butter and pickle sandwiches."
"Eww."
Ria grinned. "When I had crazy baby hormones? Delicious. Now a days? Yeah, I'm with you."
"So then when you got found out what happened?"
Ria lowered her head. "I . . . remember how I said you needed to ask Braeburn?"
". . . yeah?"
"Our escape . . . I think it hurt him quite badly."
Nami frowned. "Sanji-kun said something about him being married before. Is that how she-"
Ria winced. "Worse. Way worse. But it's not my place to tell you his business, but I know this – in his heart of heart, he thought that Baroque Works was going to make his life better. He came into the organization with a lot of baggage and, somehow, left with even more. See, when we left we got help from two other agents – Miss Wednesday and Miss All Sunday."
Vivi and Robin, Nami thought to herself.
"Miss Wednesday was new to the company and, after her part of helping us get away, I'm pretty sure she had an agenda of her own, but Miss All Sunday . . . you need to understand that she was second in command. The boss' partner. The strongest woman in the whole company. So when she showed up I thought for sure we were dead but-"
SLAM!
"RIA!"
The sound of feet thundering upstairs was followed by the appearance of Braeburn at the top of the landing. He had a panicked look in his eyes, was covered in dirt and leaves, and was dripping with a rank smelling water. "Ria, we have to-" He spotted Nami sitting on the couch and his jaw dropped. He relaxed a little, but was still clenching and unclenching his fists nervously. "Oh, um, hi Nami. Uh . . . how are?"
Nami felt a pit in her stomach. "Braeburn, where's Sanji-kun? Didn't you two-"
"BRAEBURN, WAIT!"
The door opened and slammed again ("What the hell makes you people think you can just barge into my house like this!?" Ria complained) and Braeburn bolted out of the way as Sanji appeared in the exact some condition as the other man. He stopped, bending over to grasp his knees. "Braeburn, listen to me – I'm not mad at you!"
"Sanji-kun, what happened to you two? Why are you all wet?" She rushed to her lover and embraced him. If he was that wet, he'd been submerged, and since he couldn't swim anymore, that thought terrified her. Sanji returned the embrace, resting his head gently on hers as Ria proceeded to chew out her former partner and the girls emerged from their bedroom to investigate the commotion.
"Braeburn, what the hell? Why did you and Sanji just run in here looking like a pair of swamp monsters – OH MY GOD WHAT DID YOU IDIOTS DO TO MY CARPET!?" Ria was now making several unintelligible screeching noises at the mud and twig covered carpet in her apartment. Wendy and Sundae looked at each other and grinned.
For once the mess wasn't their fault and they were in the clear.
Satisfied that Sanji was still a bit shaken but otherwise all right, Nami turned her attention to Ria and Braeburn. "Ria, calm down, it's just mud so it'll come out of the carpet – if you can get sticky red candy out of a costume then I'm sure Sanji-kun and Braeburn can clean this up. And Braeburn, what the hell happened to you and Sanji-kun? Why are you all wet like this?"
"Duh, they went swimming," said Wendy. She sniffed the air. "You smell like frog farts."
"Why did you go swimming in frog farts?" asked Sundae.
Sanji sighed. "On our way to the fishing hole the bridge gave way while I was on it."
Ria shrugged. "That bridge has been on its last leg for a while," she said.
Nami lowered her eyes. "Sanji-kun and I can't swim," she said in a low voice.
The seamstress gave her a quizzical look before realization dawned on her. "Oh."
Sanji shook his head. "I'll be okay – Braeburn dove in and fished me out," he said.
"Why can't you swim, Uncle Sanji? Didn't anyone ever teach you?" asked Wendy.
"Unfortunately it's a little more complicated than that, sweetie," said Nami.
"When we were drying off I saw his back," said Sanji.
Ria's eyes widened. "Oh dear."
"So I was right. You do know."
"Mommy, what's Uncle Sanji talking about?" asked Sundae.
The adults exchanged a look. Everyone had enough of the puzzle in their hands to know that this might not be a good talk to have in front of the girls. Thinking quickly, Ria put on a smile, clapped her hands, and turned to her children. "Wendy, Sundae, the grown-ups need to have a long, boring discussion so I'm going to find someone to bring you around the rest of the festival. Okay?"
"Okay," they said in unison.
"Braeburn, Sanji, you two need to get cleaned up," said Ria.
The blacksmith looked at Sanji, realizing he wouldn't be able to run anymore. "I've got a spare change of clothes here, right?" Ria nodded, pointing towards her bathroom. He turned to Sanji. "I promise there's an explanation – it's not what you think."
"I think I know more than you're giving me credit for, but I really just want to talk," said Sanji.
Nami put a hand on Sanji's shoulder. "Ria, I'll take him home to get cleaned up and fill him in on our conversation so everyone is on the same page – we'll be back in a little bit, okay?" Ria nodded, ushering her girls onto the couch while Braeburn disappeared down the hall and Nami led Sanji out of the shop, lacing her fingers with his.
It was turning into a very long day.
Author's Notes
On the Mr. 6's task: I did some research on this and stand by my choice on what they were up to. Frontier agents primarily were in charge of bounty hunting, but we know at least one of the Mr. 7 title holders was sent to recruit Zoro so it's possible other pairs at that tier also got to go on recruitment duty.
Unlike Gala and Ria (and for that matter, I guess Mac, too), Braeburn's backstory will most likely take multiple chapters (although in retrospect I suppose Gala's could have been two chapters *shrugs*).
-Dixxy