11. Plank in Springfield
The hawk was soaring above the town looking for something to eat. A three-eyed fish or a two-headed rat were common prey in this place. But on this day this hawk found different game. A rectangular creature with a very strange smile on its face, staring at a tree. The hawk let out a single waring screech and in mere seconds, had the thing in its claws. The hawk's victory, however, was short lived as the unique shape of the prey animal made it difficult to hold in the bird's talons. The wooden creature fell out of the hawk's clutches above a high speed chase.
"You'll, like, never catch me coppers!" Snake Jailbird teased. He had stolen over $100,000 from the bank and the force was way behind. He was sure that he was going to get away and was already thinking about what to do with all his new loot when a piece of wood with a smiley face fell right on his windshield.
"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" He screamed. Snake swerved and hit a Stop sign. The police drove up, got out of their cars and arrested Snake. It was Chief Wiggum who noticed the piece of wood on the roof of the totaled car, amazingly unharmed.
"This piece of beaver food stopped that criminal! I'm gonna make him an honorary policeman!" There was a big party held for the hunk of wood at the police station with food, games, and even a piñata. As Wiggum was manning the grill, however, he used a little too much lighter fluid and in minutes, the whole place was in flames.
"What are we gonna do?" Wiggum cried
"Uh Chief? Why don't we call the fire department?" Lou asked.
"And admit they're better than us?" Never!"
"Than what do we do?"
"Leave it to the new recruit!" Wiggum said, pointing to the piece of wood that was laying on the curb. Eddie threw it a fire hose and turned the water on. The 2x4 soaked up the water liked a sponge and was soon almost as big as a police car.
"Don't just sit there and gorge yourself!" Lou screamed. "Save us dammit!" Lou threw the bloated wood into the flaming police station. It crashed into the wall which cause all the water to flush out, putting the fire out. The building was saved.
Everyone cheered as Wiggum picked up the unscratched wood. "First, you catch a criminal and then you save the police station. Is there anything you can't do?"
The moment was ruined by the crying of a five-year old girl with a splinter in her hand while Dr. Nick was drinking a juice pouch.
"I'm sorry little girl. I just can't get that splinter out. But at least the juice is good." He said.
"Don't cry little girl. Here. Look at the smiley face." Wiggum showed the child the 2x4's permeant smile. The child giggled and didn't even notice Dr. Nick take the splinter out.
"Eureka! The wood's a life saver!" Everyone cheered as a big-headed boy with some leaves and sticks stuck on his head entered the scene.
"Plank!" He shouted. "There you are!" The boy took Plank and gave him a hug.
"Plank? Is that the name of this wood?" Wiggum asked.
"Yes sir! Thanks for finding him for me!" The boy left with Plank nestled in his arms.
"I hereby declare this day to be Plank Day in Springfield." Mayor Quimby said.
"Mayor!?" When did you get here?" Wiggum asked.
"I paid Bloody Simpson Chibi a bunch of Simpsons comics to put me in of the chapters. I need the votes."