Disclaimer- All recognizable characters are the creation of Stephenie Meyer, and therefore not mine.
A/N: My parents surprised me with a trip to Nashville for graduation (speaking of which, I GRADUATED!), and I didn't have a computer. I'm sorry it took me forever to update. If I would have actually known about my trip, I could have updated prior to leaving. I promise that the lack of an update had nothing to do with the amount of reviews.
Bella's POV-
The next time that I took my eyes off the game and glanced down, Renesmee was fast asleep. How she fell asleep despite the thunderous booms of the baseball game was beyond me. I stroked her hair and continued to watch the baseball game for a while longer. Eventually the thunder stopped and the game came to an end.
I would have been fine carrying Renesmee back to the house, but Edward insisted that he would. He laid her in her bed and left while I picked out some pajamas which she quickly put on before collapsing in her bed. She fell asleep again fairly quickly and I leaned against the wall which was across from her bed, just watching as she slept.
A while later, Edward returned. He took a position similar to mine, leaning against the same wall a few feet away from me. It was silent for a few minutes, and it began to feel awkward so I broke the silence, speaking low enough so that I hopefully wouldn't wake Renesmee.
"I used to think you were crazy for watching me sleep, but now I get it." I told him. He smiled a bit.
"She doesn't talk in her sleep as much as you did." He commented, and I was a little surprised.
"What are you talking about? She talks in her sleep all the time." She spoke often enough that I didn't always need to be holding her hand to follow along with her dreams.
"Not nearly as much as you did." He responded. I didn't know what else to say. I felt incredibly embarrassed. I was really glad I couldn't blush anymore. All I would ever dream about when I was human was Edward, and if I spoke more than Renesmee, he would have obviously known that. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend you." He said.
"You didn't." I responded, and the silence returned. About an hour later our conversation started again.
"Bella, I'd really like to apologize again. I am so incredibly sorry for what happened between us." He told me. I sighed.
"I know you are, Edward." I responded.
"I don't feel like I'll ever be able to tell you enough, though. It was the biggest mistake I've ever made." He explained to me. I didn't really know what to say, so I didn't say anything. After a few seconds, he spoke again. "Do you really think that me leaving was the best thing for you?" He asked, his voice clearly showing how hurt he was by my remark. I smirked.
"In a way." I responded. He was visibly even more upset now. He wasn't watching Renesmee anymore. Rather he was staring at the floor. I rolled my eyes. I thought I would enjoy this a little bit more, but I sort of felt bad. I decided I would clarify what I'd meant to him. "Edward I think I know you well enough to conclude that if you had stayed, Renesmee wouldn't be here." I told him, and instead of looking sad, he looked ashamed. "If I hadn't been changed, I would have died. Even after being bitten, Aro wasn't sure if it would work. A matter of seconds could have been the difference between dying or changing, and knowing what I know now, I don't think you would have taken that chance. Am I wrong?" I asked, and he shook his head. "So, yes. I really do think that my life was better because you left." I concluded.
"Even after a hundred years, you know me so well. I don't understand why you'd believe anything that I said to you when I left." He told me, and it was my turn to feel a little ashamed. "I told you a hundred times every day that I loved you and all it took was one time saying that I don't, and you believed me."
"That can't be all that surprising. I never thought that I deserved you, so in my head it made sense that you wouldn't want me." I replied. He shook his head.
"Bella—" He began, but I stopped him, and lifted my shield.
"She's listening" I told him in my thoughts. I looked to him and he looked amazed.
"Goodnight, Renesmee." I said, and I heard her grunt and roll over. Edward and I exited the room, figuring we'd watched her enough. We ended up going back to his room which didn't look like it'd changed all too much. The decorations were more modern, but still very similar.
"Could you do that again?" Edward asked from behind me.
"Do what?" I asked.
"Lift your shield." He clarified. I scoffed.
"No." I told him, and turned to see his reaction. He didn't look like he was going to give up.
"Please, Bella." He asked again.
"Why?" I asked. He took another step closer to me.
"I just want to understand…Please." He asked again. He was standing very close to me, too close for comfort, and I slowly pushed him back a bit. He looked a little hurt, but quickly covered it up. Neither of us said anything for a few seconds.
"Maybe we should just talk first." I suggested and he smiled.
"I can settle for that." He responded and we both took a seat on his black leather couch.
I must admit, once we got past the initial awkwardness, talking with Edward was actually kind of nice. We mostly talked about Renesmee, but we also talked about what's gone on in my life and his. While talking with him did help me get a better idea about the future and possibility of a relationship, I still didn't quite open up as much as he wanted me to. I could see his disappointment when I avoided some of his questions, but he was respectful and didn't pressure me to open up more. We only talked for about an hour before I could sense the awkwardness between us coming back.
After talking with Edward, I decided that while I was in Washington, I might as well visit Forks. I hadn't been in Forks or heard anything about Forks since I was human over 100 years ago. I felt very guilty knowing that I left my father all alone without a goodbye, but it was what needed to be done. I always hoped that he'd found someone, and lived a long happy life, but I never traveled back to find out.
I wasn't even sure that I would find anything in Forks. It's possible that after I left, Charlie moved somewhere else. He was never one to show his emotions, but I know how heartbreaking and scary it is to have a child run away. If anything would have happened to Renesmee, I don't know what I would have done.
As for my mom, I figured that someday I would find out where she got to. She was never one to stay in one place, so I didn't even know where to start. Perhaps there would still be some record of her obituary. I figured I'd start by trying to find out what I could about my dad, so I took a trip to Forks while Renesmee was sleeping.
The run didn't take long, but I spent a while just walking around the town before going to the cemetery. It had grown quite a bit in the last century, and had nearly doubled in size. It was still small, but much more to my liking. My old house was still there but it was clear the exterior had been renovated. I didn't spend a lot of time looking at it. The cemetery was only about a five minute walk from my old house, just down the street from the current Forks High School.
As soon as I entered, and took a look around at all of the headstones, a chill ran through me. I wondered if there would be any other names I'd recognize as I searched for my dad's. I didn't really know where to look, so I just walked and searched. I came across a few names I seemed to recognize. I'm sure there were others that I should have recognized, but not all of my memories of my human life were as clear as they had been after I had first been changed. The only names I really recognized were Michael and Jessica Newton, and Tyler Crowley. I probably knew others, but it had been much too long ago.
I eventually came across my father's headstone and was surprised to see my mom's with it. 'Here lies Charles B. Swan, loving husband and father,' and 'Renee A. Swan, loving mother and wife' I read. For a few seconds, I couldn't even think. What was I seeing? Renee Swan? Charlie, a loving husband? So they remarried? How did that happen? I had all of these questions now, and no way to get my answers.
So if Renee and Charlie remarried, that must mean that she and Phil split up. I suppose that could have happened. The age difference made things a little weird sometimes, and they argued fairly often. They both agreed that Forks was miserable, but I suppose my mom was always sort of defensive about Charlie. She seemed happy with Phil, but it did seem like there was always something missing.
A/N:
First and foremost, so sorry for the long wait. As I said, I didn't have access to a computer because I was on a trip.
Second, I'm super disappointed in this chapter. I already know it's not my best work, so no need to say that you don't like it. I had it in my original plan, and just didn't know how to bridge the gap between 2 different parts of the story. Sorry, I hope this didn't ruin your overall view of the story.
Third, coming home from vacation, I went to Chicago and was jumping for joy. I was like Edward Cullen lived here! :P
Review goal is 810. Sample topics:
1. Predictions
2. Should I write the conversation between Edward and Bella as an outtake?
In my original plan, there's one more chapter and then an epilogue, but knowing me, I'll split the next chapter up. It's pretty long. Anyway, that means this story is getting close to the end, which means that I hope if you haven't already, you'll add me on your fave authors/author alert so you can see the next story I write. You can also leave reviews about suggestions for that next story. I already have some ideas, but if an idea catches my eye, I may change my mind ;) There's also a poll on my profile to vote on some of my ideas for the next story.
Until next time, Taylor
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