Memories

Past Crimes

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

Tora touched Logan's shoulder, causing him to start.

"Tell me."

"Tell ya what?"

"Everything."

He stiffened and tugged the quilt over his head.

"Ain't telling you anything."

Her hand moved down between his shoulder blades.

"Relax. You're stiffer than a corpse."

He wouldn't and she resorted to gently massaging the muscles around his shoulder blades. He curled his lips back to snarl but she rested her head on his back.

"I know you don't want to tell me, but maybe it will help you feel better. Sometimes lancing the blister is the only way to make it better."

"Then the wound can become infected."

"I think we're taking this metaphor a little too far now."

He sat up, letting the quilt slide off his chest. She snatched it up, pulling it to her, straightening up as well. The moonlight shone in through the window, causing her hair to appear pale and silvery.

"Logan, tell me."

He shifted then got up, walking to the window. Then turned.

"I was born James Howlett, in Alberta, over a century ago. I was…a child of privilege. Don't ever tell One-Eye that! Had a companion and a governess-cum-nanny and everything. I was a…sickly kid. All sorts of allergies. Again, don't tell Slim! Then I was about twelve and…my dad was murdered right in front of my eyes."

She got up and walked over to him, holding out her arms. He shook his head and stepped away.

"Logan…"

"I…ended up killing the man who shot…Papa. I scarred his son as well. Dog Logan was the same age as I was. That was when these," the claws snikted out, "first got used."

"Logan?"

"Yeah. My mother threw me out and committed suicide. Rose, my companion, got us out of Alberta, where we were wanted for murder. Got framed see? Ended up in a mining village. We pretended to be cousins. Stayed for…five years. I was Logan then. Best to hide my name. Thing is, the mine boss wanted to marry Rose…and I…"

"You loved her as well?"

"How the-"

"Etana."

"Oh. Well… Rose wanted to marry Smitty, and I wasn't going to let her be unhappy. Let Smitty beat me in a cage fight so he'd have enough money to leave. But… Dog came back. I… I beat him and was going to kill him. Rose got between us. She died. I ran. Etana found me running with wolves, taught me how to fight. I left her, continued to live wild. Went to another mining town, ended up getting involved with a Blackfoot. Silver-Fox. She was murdered. Ended up joining the Army in the First World War. My girlfriend was killed. Again. Went to Madripoor, started using the Patch persona. During that time…someone was manipulating me. Turning me into this. World War Two started, I met Cap, Nick and Natasha. Joined the paratroopers, got to know Cap better. Managed to get captured. Twice. Was at Hiroshima when the bomb went off. Atsuko, a…friend…died. I met a man named Ogun…"

"Wasn't he the one who-"

"Look, do you want me to tell this story or not?"

"Sorry. Go ahead."

"Ogun…helped get me back on track. We fought, he asked who had taught me, I said Etana and wham! He offered me a place as a student. I stayed with him and he sent me to a village. I met a woman there…"

He blushed as if he felt it would be tactless to continue. Tora touched his hands and tilted her head, nodding slightly.

"We got married. Were going to have a kid. But… I had to fight in hand-to-hand combat and accidentally stabbed someone. Ended up having to leave her. Went back to say goodbye and…Itsu had been murdered. Horribly. I went mad. Did a deal with a demon. Ran and got picked up by some secret service thing. I…I ended up tormenting this kid, just cos I was told to. Carved the stars and stripes right into his face during Vietnam. Was sent by the CIA, joined Team X. Turns out Silver-Fox wasn't dead, but she betrayed us all to HYDRA. During that time, they messed with my memories. Later, I was kidnapped, taken to Weapon X. They…made me kill people, just to prove I could. I escaped. Killed everyone in the facility…"

"The Weapon X massacre. Yeah I've heard of it."

"Ran wild for years. Mac and Heather found me. I got back my humanity. But not my memories. Ended up working for Department H, fought the Hulk, joined the X-Men and the rest is history."

She touched his face.

"You hate yourself, don't you?"

"Do you know how many people I've killed?"

"Maybe you've forgotten. At least you didn't 'play' with your prey. Like I did."

"You never told me about that."

She gulped then nodded.

"You told me. So it's only fair… It was a guard who used to like hurting me. He used to beat me when I was just a kid. I think he liked having something to take his anger out on, especially someone who wouldn't fight back. But one day I did. Just cut through my chains and slashed at him. Tore his chest to shreds. Bit, scratched, clawed. No one dared come near me. I cut at his tendons. Hamstrung him. Did the same to his arms. Dabbed his blood on his face, asked him if he wanted to hit me again. Asked if he'd had a bad day and wanted to take it out on me. Asked if his wife had thrown him out again. Cut a paragraph from my lessons into his back. By then he was pleading. Just kill me, please just kill me. And I spat in his face and called him a coward. How often had I begged him for mercy, begged him to just kill me? How often had he complied? I swear I would have tortured him for another hour at least. But they sent in a load of guards, beat me to unconsciousness. When I woke up, I was strapped down and they burned me over and over again. You saw the brand."

He nodded.

"Why did you keep the scars when you brought yourself back?"

She shrugged, the loose top she was wearing slipping over her shoulder.

"They're a part of me. Each one reminds me of what I am. An animal," she touched her leg and the brand, "Not a murderer," The edge of the back scar, "A human being who bleeds." The slender lines on her lower arms and wrists.

"Each scar has meaning and it reminds me I'm not invincible. I bleed, as does everyone else. I cannot, will not kill. And I have an animal I must keep in check at all times, to protect those I care about. Open the window will you? Jeanne will want to come in soon."

"Why do we have to have that cat on our bed?"

"I like having a cat with me."

"Yeah, but I feel…embarrassed when she's there."

Tora rolled her eyes.

"Logan, we are the same person. What I see, she sees."

"Yeah but…it's just the eyes. Watching us."

"Look, she can go into the bathroom every time you get embarrassed. How will that do?"

He shrugged.

"Is anyone going to ask me my opinion on this?"

Jeanne slipped in through the window and rubbed her head against Logan's legs.

"She didn't mention she cuts our bond every time you get up close and personal. She's selfish like that."

Logan raised an eyebrow.

"So you lied?"

She shrugged, doing a perfect imitation of him earlier.

"Like I said, I'm possessive."

"Possessive was one way to say that."

"Yes well, it's a single word description of it."

Logan seemed slightly shell-shocked as he sat down in the rec-room. Hank blinked.

"What is wrong my fine friend?"

It took a while for the words to get out, as he spluttered slightly.

"Curt…asked me…about…the Talk…"

Scott snorted into his glass on the other side of the room.

"That is one of the reasons I am eternally grateful that Nathan was sent into the future."

"He's four months old for cryin' out loud! He shouldn't be asking stuff like that!"

"He may be only a four-month old, but he has the body of an adolescent boy. He needs to know about stuff like that."

"Did you hear the screaming?"

"Was that Curt?"

"Yes it was. The first time was when I explained it to him. The second scream was when he realised that, well, for him to be born…"

"He freaked out over that? Then what were the rest of the screams about?"

"When he realised that it wasn't just done for reproductive reasons."

"Where is he?"

"Clinging to the light fitting, with Tora trying to coax him down. Unfortunately, he keeps webbing up the cookies."

There was suddenly a thump.

"I think he's just fallen off the ceiling."

The screaming started up again, words like 'you and Dad', 'YUCK!' and 'HELP!' filtering down. Logan moaned, got up and walked out. The people in the room waited until he was far enough away, then burst out laughing.

Phoenix and Death both started giggling. Their companion sniggered, tried to stop herself and ended up laughing louder than any of the others.